COURTNEY's POV

"This is useless." I groaned, throwing the beauty blender onto my dresser. I'd been trying to cover my puffy eyes with the best of the best concealer ever created, for god knows how long now. But no matter how hard I tried, the bags under my eyes refused to disappear. I couldn't hide the ultimate sign that I had been crying all night--no, all weekend!

It was obvious.

Covering it up doesn't even work.

In fact, nothing seemed to work in my life now and I was starting to get really really frustrated.

I had thought about using this as an excuse to skip school. Look at me, I was a total and freakin mess! I had dark circles under my eyes and they were red and puffy from all the nights of crying. I was so exhausted from worrying and trying to figure out what to do.

But it's done.

There's nothing else I can do.

Well, there's actually something else I can do, put all this pent up energy into my studies and get through senior year with acceptable grades. With this, I can say that I actually achieve something great in my life.

Right?

Yeah. I sighed, resigned to the fact that I would have to face the day looking like crap to achieve something. I grabbed my sunglasses and put them on, hoping the tinted lenses would hide the bags under my eyes and my tiredness. And if the teachers would have a problem with me wearing these in class, I was willing to take the risk. I was too knackered to care about the consequences anyway.

At this point, I just don't care anymore.

That's probably the good thing about hitting rock bottom. There's nowhere to go but up. I'm not trying to be optimistic, not at all. I'm just sick of fighting for something I can't control and... to care in general. Honestly, I'm done pretending everything is okay when it's not. I'm done trying to be positive when all I feel is dejection.

Right now, I feel like my situation couldn't get any worse no matter what I do. I'm at the bottom, surely this is the worst it can get.

Taking a look at myself in the mirror, I asked myself "Right?"

Weekend rolled in excruciatingly slow and fast at the same time. If that makes any sense at all. Time stood still when I was crying, reflecting, watching sappy love stories that don't even happen in real life, sulking, and repeat. The next thing I knew, it was Monday already--making things worse.

After that confrontation with Chad, I felt like I had nothing to look forward to and nothing to be excited about. The problem was, I didn't have a plan B in store. By writing the letter and explaining my side of the story, I thought it would be enough. And I did say it would be my last resort.

Honestly, I was kinda hopeful and too optimistic that those things would be enough for him to forgive me and everything would be back to normal again.

Yeah, I was that pathetic and delusional. I thought Chad would be his forgiving self again, forget all the hurtful things I said to him, and we'd just continue where we left off. But no, none of that happened.

He was hurt.

He was tired.

He has given his all already.

He had enough.

And I wouldn't blame him. My speech and act were so convincing, I even believed my own words. Unfortunately, my stupid letter, explanation, and confession of love wasn't enough to fix everything.

Confessions of love. What an effin joke.

He is not worth it!

Even though I tried to convince myself that, deep down I knew he was worth every single guy on this planet. So that mantra was useless.

I felt warm fluid rolling down my cheeks. I angrily wiped it away, but more tears kept coming. Fckin stupid waterworks are not stopping! "I cried everything already. I feel dehydrated."

I am such a mess. Am I really fit to show up at school today?

What if I see Chad?

So what? He already shut me down! It's over so I need to get over it, too!

What if I saw him with Olivia?

No, I can't. At this point I'm not even sure if I can hold my tears.

These thoughts are killing me! What stage of grief is this anyway? I can't even place myself properly. I'm jumping from one stage to another.

This is pathetic! I am pathetic.

I had never felt so deeply rooted in love and so strongly emotionally attached to someone before.

I have to get through this. I need to.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself and summon the energy I would need to make it through the day.

Few more weeks, Courtney. Just survive it.

* * * * *

Are you kidding me?

The first person I saw was the least person I wanted to see on my already miserable Monday morning. It felt like the universe was conspiring against me and karma was following me around wherever I went.

I was almost tempted to turn the car around and go home. But why should I? I had to face this person and get on with my day. I don't care anymore, remember? Rolling my eyes, I parked and got out of the car.

Troy was waiting for me in the parking lot. He looked frustrated, and he had his hands in his pockets, pacing back and forth.

He grabbed my arm immediately, without even a hi or hello, and pulled me away from the crowds of people. Surprisingly, I let him do it. Part of me doesn't give a damn about what he had to say, but at the same time, I'm curious what made him so frustrated early in the morning.

I hope it's karma, too.

He trapped me in a corner, away from the prying eyes of the on-lookers. He pulled out his phone and showed me something that literally made my eyes go wide with shock.

"What is this?" His voice was icy cold and hard as steel. His eyes were glaring at me, as if I had something to do with it. "This is a fckin joke, Courtney!"

He wanted an explanation, but I had none. I was as confused as he was!

Underwater Knight For Prom King!

There was a picture of Chad saving Olivia from drowning next to the title.

I didn't even know that someone from this school witnessed what happened at the country club! But it's also possible that one of my friends did it. I haven't spoken to any of them properly since my encounter with Chad. I told them I wanted to be alone. My phone buzzed nonstop during the weekend, and only stopped when my battery died. But I didn't even bother charging it.

Maybe that was what the notifications were about?

I wasn't sure. I will deal with that later.

"What makes you think I have something to do with that?" I lazily asked. I wasn't even sure what he was accusing me of.

Honestly, I didn't want to get involved. Still, I couldn't help but feel that Troy's bruised pride and ego would lead him into dangerous territory. Damn it! I was trying my best not to care anymore, but the situation made it extremely difficult for me not to!

Imagine, Troy was so sure of himself that he would be prom king. Then, out of nowhere, an unexpected competitor arrived and suddenly posed a real threat to take the crown. I bet this sudden change was killing him.

He held my chin and looked me in the eye. Despite me wearing the sunglasses, I could still feel the intensity of his gaze. "It is your job to ensure we win this, Court. We are the golden couple. You and I. I will be the prom king. Not some fckin geek!" His voice was low and serious.

Instead of taking him seriously, I laughed straight in his face. I couldn't believe he was talking about high school proms as if this was the most important thing in the world!

Fine, I was there once, but now I realize how pathetic it sounds.

"I'm not here to stroke your ego, Troy." My voice was firm and strong, like I wouldn't take any more bull from him. I knew Troy was trying to intimidate me, but I wasn't going to let him like what he did before.

I looked him in the eye and held my ground. I wanted him to realize who he was talking to. I am Courtney Collins, for fcks sake!

I kept looking at him, not saying anything, until he finally conceded. He released my face and stepped back.

"Are you threatened?" I asked mockingly. Oh I love making him feel uncomfortable. It gives me great pleasure. He tried to act tough but I could see in his eyes that he was intimidated. I smiled smugly.

I might have hit a nerve because he became defensive. "Me? Threatened? I have ways of making sure that geek won't be able to attend prom, you know." His smile was cold and calculating. I could tell he was serious and I was a little scared of what he was capable of.

Why do I feel like it was my fault that Chad got into this mess again?

If Olivia hadn't fallen into the pool, Chad wouldn't have saved her. He wouldn't have been nominated. Troy wouldn't think of harming him. None of this would have happened. Chad's life would be quiet!

Stop caring!

You don't care anymore, Courtney.

Just stop!

Is it really possible to stop myself from caring?

"Go ahead, Troy." I urged him, my lips tugging up into a teasing smile. "I won't stop you." I touched his face gently, my fingers tracing along his jawline. I saw a smirk playing on his lips, and I knew he was amused by my approval of his evil plan.

My smile turned into a mischievous grin as I leaned in closer, my lips only millimeters away from his. "But I can't promise to keep my mouth shut about it."

Troy was clearly unprepared for my sly attitude and backed away with a look of shock on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Damn it was satisfying.

"I actually grew fond of him. You know me, if something happens to the people I grew fond of, I can't help but show my immature and wicked self. I can get low and act out of line. And when I do something mean, I don't stop to think about the consequences. No. I simply don't care about the moment and just regret it later."

I was so sick and tired of Troy's threats and controlling behavior. It was time for him to realize I wasn't going to put up with it anymore.

"So, go ahead, babe. Do it. I don't care. I just hope you don't care about your social status and scholarship, too."

-END OF CHAPTER 56-

A/N: The end is coming soon! All I can say is I'm going to miss writing SILWAG! I hope you will enjoy and support my other stories and you will love the new story BETTER THAN REVENGE (available in Patreon).

Anywayyyy. SILWAG is already finished in my Patreon account (notjustarandomgirl). Also, cutie SILWAG postcards available and will be posted on your address once you subscribe to marry-me tier (it's the merch of the month!)

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