A/N: Advance chapters are uploaded on my Patreon Page: notjustarandomgirl, and is currently on Chapter 44. Early access and limited edition published book of SILWAG will be announced there too. Thank you very much for those who subscribed! I hope you found it worthwhile. 

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COURTNEY's POV

After that conversation with Jackson, all I wanted to do was ran to Chad and hug him.

Anger, frustration, sadness, guilt. Strong emotions sinking in, consuming and suffocating me at the same time. What Olivia did to Chad was painful, but when Jackson cited and reminded me of the things that I did to Chad before—I felt so cruel, and evil.

My inside churned, I felt sick.

Now I wonder, what I did to him might have brought some memories from the past. I might have triggered something in him, and reminded him of what happened before.

His hell.

I was shattered, heartbroken even. I felt so bad that I wanted to see him right away. I know it's quite difficult, considering the time. It was getting late. So with that, I just settled with sending him a text.

I can't wait to see you tom.

I hit the sent, and tried to drift off to sleep. But, I immediately grabbed my phone when I heard a ping. I wasn't actually expecting a quick response from him. I thought he was already asleep at this time.

CHAD: Me too. Is everything okay?

CHAD: Do you want me to come over?

He followed up with another message that put a smile on my face. I was tempted to say yes, god knows how badly I want to see him now. But it's already late, that would be very selfish of me. I could wait, I guess.

Yeah! I'm just excited to see you again that's all. xx

CHAD: Haha. Same! See you tomorrow then?

Can't wait! We need to sleep. Nighty Chaddy!

CHAD: See you. Sweet dreams, Court.

I willed myself to sleep, hoping that time would come fast so I can see him.

I need to see him.

* * * * *

Chad came over to my place early in the morning to pick me up since I left my car at the parking lot in school as we used his to drop me off my house yesterday.

He mentioned that he doesn't use his car that much as he prefers riding his bicycle. But yesterday was different, and today too according to him.

When he arrived, he went out and opened the passenger's seat door right after he saw me. I was used to being treated like this—a queen, I wanted it, demand it even. Whine or throw a fit when nothing goes my way.

But when it comes to Chad, this gesture was different. It's more reflected on him, his character, that this was innate to him. A gentleman—the real deal. That he would do this to anyone, not just for me, and surprisingly I don't feel any jealousy behind it. In fact, it makes me proud. Proud that I found someone so genuine and rare like him.

It made me wonder, how can someone trade this one of a kind treasure for the sake of popularity?

But then, who was I to talk? I was once like this. Do everything for the sake of staying popular, and the queen to rule the school. To destroy someone just to get what I wanted. If it wasn't for Chad, I wouldn't have realized all this. If I haven't got the chance to meet him, who knows what kind of horrible things I could have done to kind people like him.

Chad made me realize that there's more to life than popularity and social status.

Like what?

Love.

The moment I saw him, I immediately ran and hug him. I heard him let out a soft chuckle, before he wrapped his arms around my body and drew circles on my back with his thumb. It was the most comforting feeling in the world—it was compelling and addicting, I almost didn't want to let go. We could stay like this forever for all I care.

Funny how a simple gesture like this, can make you feel different level of emotions with the right person.

When you know, you know.

Chad was tall, with rounded posture, and broad shoulders. Probably a swimmer's body thing? Knowing that he was that athletic, I became more aware of his features. Before, I haven't noticed it as he was hiding all this under his loose shirts. But, it's more evident now that I was close to him, hugging him. Well, I guess at some point I might have noticed it, I just refused to give in and drool over him. But now, I just don't care.

Do you still practice swimming?

I wanted to ask him this question, actually there were a lot of things in my head that I've been dying to talk about with him, but instead, I rested my head on his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat, and asked, "Did I ever apologize to all the mean things I did to you before?" I tightened my hold on him as I finally asked the thing that had been bugging me since last night.

"What?" Chad asked. He pushed me gently, held my chin up, and examined my face. "Now where this is all coming from?"

I closed my eyes instantly, afraid that I might breakdown again at this moment! How many times did I cry in front of him in less than 24 hours?

"I was mean to you. Bullied you even. What I did before was bad. I know it was the football team, but like what you said, I..."

"You already apologized for that." He blurted out in a reassuring tone. He pulled me closer, and I bury my face to his chest. His heartbeat—the sound was like a hypnosis, calming me down. "I was mean to you and bullied you as well." He added as he stroke my hair.

"I deserve it." I mumbled as I tightened my embrace.

"Well, no one deserves to be bullied and be treated badly no matter who and what they are."

Again, with his kindness and wisdom. How can someone who has been through a lot still be capable of kindness and compassion? It was too unreal. I never would have guessed that behind those blue eyes, his killer smiles, and warm affection, there was a trauma behind it.

That kind of betrayal was on a different level.

"But who am I to lecture about all this. For all I know, I think I owe you an apology, too."

This time, it was my turn to be confused. I pulled away and looked at him. "Apology for what?"

"Well, before all of this started," he chuckled as he gestured to the both of us which made me blush in the process, "I was actually too quick to judge you. I get so easily triggered by your actions, and always think of the worse. I was actually quite judgey, especially after that day at the auditorium—the club introductions." Chad was laughing as he recalled our first encounter.

I wanted to laugh with him, but there was something about what he said that made my chest hurt.

Triggered.

Now I understand why he was snappy at me the first time we meet, and tried his best to avoid the likes of me. He was so determined to stay away from me, but I was the one who kept on coming on him, provoking him.

It makes sense now.

Was I the reminder of his past? Of the likes of Olivia?

"Well, in all fairness, I was that kind of a person anyway. The funny thing is, all the bad things you're thinking about me were all true, I was just too stubborn that time to admit it to myself. I was a brat. I was defensive, that's probably the reason I got angry at you. You're not being judgey, you're just stating the facts." I confessed.

You're just being cautious. You're just being careful not to be used again and be broken. I wanted to add those, but wasn't so sure if this was the right moment for that.

"Something happened." He pointed out, not ask, as if he already knew why I was acting like this. It was still a wonder to me how he can read me so easily, as if he'd known me for so long. Was I that transparent? He was so sure about my thoughts, and it was hard to lie to him. When I didn't respond, he followed up. "Jackson?"

I nodded in affirmation. I let out a small smile, just to assure him that it was okay, what Jackson did was understandable.

"I'm sorry for that." He apologized in a sad tone, I was about to protest and assure him it was okay, but he already carried on talking. "Well, to be honest, I'm not really surprised. I actually expected him to come to you."

"He is a good friend, Chad. He's just looking out for you. And he was right to do it, to protect you from the likes of me. To be honest, I wasn't proud of what I did before,"

"That was before." Chad interrupted, his hand on my cheek. It was warm, like him. "What's done is done. No good things happen to people who dwells on the past." He stated in a matter of fact.

Though it was moving, I find it frustrating that he forgives people so easily. Forgive and forget. It was not even in my vocabulary. I was so used to revenge, taste of your own medicine, but Chad was so forgiving, and it was so painful to hear.

"How can you forgive so easily? Don't you hold any grudges to the people who did bad things to you?" I couldn't hold myself any longer, I have to ask him this.

"Well, think of it this way. If you hold any grudges, you let that person who hurt you continue to control you—you allow them to maintain authority over your emotions. You let them win. Unlike if you forgive them, you're letting go of all the string of emotions they hold against you. That's why I just forgive them, and let it be. Hoping that it will just serve a lesson for them in the future."

"But," I wanted to protest, he was too precious for this world. He should at least have an ounce of hatred towards these people, but none. He was that kind of a person. It was inspiring, but frustrating at the same time. Yet, I couldn't help but feel at awe. This was probably one of the many wonderful things I love about him, what made me fall madly in love with him.

Rare and genuine.

"Right now, all I could think of is, if that didn't happen to me, I wouldn't have transferred school, and I wouldn't have met you."

God, this guy really knows how to calm my raging heart! His heart melting declaration made me blush, I could feel the hotness on my cheeks already, and I must have looked like a red tomato now!

He definitely caught me off-guard and I hate myself for not having a retort on that! Will there be a time I would make him lost for words too?

"Let's forget about that, okay?" Chad thankfully changed the topic. I just hope he didn't think I found it uncomfortable. He just made me feel so speechless.

"Can you promise me one thing?" Chad's expression suddenly turned serious.

"What is it?" I asked right away, curiosity killing me.

Chad closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, his stare just got intense. "No matter what happens, don't fight any battles for my sake."

He knew. He probably had guessed that I might do something to extract revenge. I was actually thinking about it, and I bet all my life that my best friends were already stalking Olivia and the others by now.

He knew, and Chad didn't want me to be consumed by it. Forgive and forget. I guess there's no harm in trying new things, right?

I nodded my head in affirmation, and smiled at him.

"As long as you promise not to compromise yourself or give up anything you love for my sake."

That heart stopping smile was back again—the death of me. He leaned in and whispered, "I will do my best not to." Before I could even react, he already shut me up with his lips crashed on mine.

Oh, my daily dose of happy pill.

I wouldn't mind to overdose myself with this from now on.

—END OF CHAPTER 39—

A/N: my two favourite love birds. I love writing romantic scenes! I hope you're enjoyed reading this!

BTW, please comment what you think of this story so far. I love reading all your comments! And, don't forget to check out my new stories STEAL MY GIRL and LOSE YOU TO LOVE ME.