COURTNEY'S POV

I celebrated my birthday quite earlier this year, and invited everyone in the school.

Why?

An excuse to have a moment with Chad.

Pathetic? Pitiful?

I don't care.

The old Courtney might be writhing in pure disgust and worried about her social status by now, and how this would affect her popularity and the race for prom queen.

But then, the old Courtney Collins was shallow, cold hearted, and narcissistic--only thinks about herself and her popularity.

And now, this Courtney is chasing a guy who doesn't even like her. Burning the midnight oil just so he could grant her wishes. Changed herself just to get his attention.

Did I really change for him, or was that my real self?

It was so easy when I was around him. I didn't have to pretend. I could be cranky, foolish, say whatever I want to say, do what I want to do, dress however I want without thinking about what others would think--if it was on the trend or not. He could even see right through me whenever I lie to him or being pretentious. He could tell.

Maybe that's why it was so hard when he became so distant. I wasn't so sure who the real me now, the old or the new. Did I really just create this type of Courtney for him? For him to desperately like me back?

I left right after I requested Chad to come to my party. I didn't let him respond, I fear that he might reject my request, or worse, tell straight to my face that we should stop whatever deal we had, and forget everything. For us to go on with our lives and forget what happened.

That he didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

I was trying so hard to appear so brave in front of him, but deep inside I was having mix emotions--happy and sad at the same time. Happy to see him, but sad that I can't even have a proper conversation with him anymore.

I wanted to yell at him, ask him what I did wrong for him to act so distant and ignore me. That was the first time I saw him this week. Though I won't consider the stolen glances at the cafeteria as actually seeing him, and not to mention the Biology class that we shared. I was so hopeful he would sit next to me at the lab, like how we used to, but he went in front instead. Purposely? I think so.

I desperately want to ask why he was ignoring me. That all of a sudden he was so distant and I was always wondering what I did so wrong for him to act that way?

But what right do I have to do this to him? It's not like he was obligated to talk to me all the time, make me happy, demand for his attention and time.

No, it's not like I have that kind of position to his life.

I was just Courtney Collins.

The shallow girl who demanded the exams papers because she was failing, the proud girl who expects him to abide to her wills, the conceited girl who thinks he should like her because she is pretty, rich, and popular, the arrogant girl who thinks she can make him fall in love with her.

The foolish girl who made a bet and played the dangerous game, only to find out that she has lost.

And he knows.

"Or worse, he sensed that maybe you liked him all along and breaking up with your boyfriend proved it, but he couldn't reciprocate your feelings for him that's why he's avoiding you and being distant."

I think Terry is right. The reason he was so distant was because he knew I like him a lot and he didn't have it in him to reject me. That's why he was keeping his distance.

That should ring a bell already, Courtney!

My subconscious reminded me.

I was stubborn, I know. But I worked hard for that exam for him to come and show him my dedication.

This will be the last. I whispered to myself.

Please, just let me have time with him. Even for the last time.

* * * * *

"I don't know what to say, Court. But this party is so much better than the last!"

"This party is so fun!"

"Yeah, definitely fun!"

"This will be the talk of the school for months! You are definitely the queen! You make people come together!"

My friends were busy gushing about my party. I must say, for a party that was only planned less than 24 hours, this was awesome! In a short period of time, our party planner managed to pull the best party I ever had.

From the food, up to the decoration and DJ. It was top notch.

My dad was kinda surprised when I told him I wanted to celebrate my birthday a lot earlier and that I invited almost everyone in our school. At first, he thought I was kidding, but told me he was happy to throw me the best party--especially that I include everyone, and not make it exclusive.

My dad loves inclusion. He promotes diversity and advocates unity, just some of the programs my mom started when she was alive and continued by my dad. He was thrilled when I told him about my plan. Maybe he thought that I have changed. Little did he know, I was doing it for a guy.

Yeah, that's given.This was all for Chad. But most part of me was happy that I didn't feel any worry about social status and all for socialising with others other than my inner circle of friends--or known before as the popular kids.

I was so happy that everyone was enjoying my party.

One of the upsides of this was that the football team was still in their training, meaning there won't be a Troy to think about. He would flip and lecture me about popularity shits and jeopardising the prom king and queen title. He could shove those titles in his arse, I don't care. I will definitely deal with him when he's back.

It was a happy birthday to begin with, seeing my friends and everyone having the time of their lives sure was fun, but the happy part of it was starting to drain. Time is ticking away. I became feeling so hopeless as the hours ticked by.

Is he coming?

I was at the balcony, overlooking the sea of people in the backyard. I even told John to alert me if he saw Chad, but still no sign of him.

He's not ditching me, right?

Hours ago, I told myself that it was still early, maybe he got busy. Or maybe he was finishing his homework so he wouldn't have to worry about it and just enjoy the party. But those reasons start to become an excuse the later it gets.

But I asked him to come.

I got an A.

We had a deal.

But he isn't bound to that deal forever, Courtney.

"He's not here yet?" Lucy asked, I turned to face her and shook my head sideways to answer her question.

I was trying my best not to cry on my birthday.

"Did you try to call him?" This time, it was Terry who threw the question. I wasn't so sure how to answer her. I just looked down and stared at my shoes.

I heard the girls' footsteps coming towards me, and the next thing that I know, I was already smothered in a tight group hug. This gesture of them made me cry.

They didn't say anything, I just let the emotions I was holding back let out. And they were there all the way to support me. By the time I stopped, I wiped my tears and straightened my back.

He is not coming. I told myself firmly.

Pull yourself together now.

"Come on, let's not spoil the fun. It's time for my birthday cake."

* * * * *

The party was a blast. I received a lot of gifts and praises from my peers. They even said that they would vote for me as prom queen. But I told them to only do it if they want to, not have to.

Before I blew my candles, I was still hopeful that Chad would come. I scanned the crowd for the sight of him, but still nothing. That time I accepted the fact that he wouldn't come.

But I still wished for it when I blew my birthday candles even though I know it was pathetic.

I stopped making reasons and excuses anymore. This time, I know for a fact that he was clearly avoiding me, that the deal was already off.

And that's his answer to my request.

He's not coming.

Now what?

It's nearly midnight, and the party finished half an hour ago. It was early for a party, yes, but my friends sensed that prolonging it won't do any good for me. They told me I already looked drained and that I should rest. That's why they initiated for the party to finish early so I could have time for myself. They offered to stay if I wanted to, but I said I prefer to be alone for now.

"He should have said goodbye, or tell me the deal is off." I said. My feet were submerged in the pool, kicking the balloons away.

So stupid of me to think I could pull this game and make him fall in love with me. I can't even make him like me.

I was so excited this morning, thinking that he would come and celebrate my birthday with me. I have scenarios played out in my head, I was almost certain that I would tell him that I like him, and take it from there. But, he didn't come.

"So stupid." I whispered.

I cursed the day I let my guard down.

If only I studied from the very beginning, then I wouldn't have failed my subjects and crossed paths with Chad.

If only.

Then I wouldn't have met him. Is that what I really want?

Not to meet Chad?

Would I be happier?

"For someone who is having a birthday, you sure are not looking so happy."

That voice immediately registered in my brain which made me stiffened, I felt electricity crawl down my spine. I was having second thoughts if what I heard was the real thing or just another product of my delusion.

https://youtu.be/PnV2EyGQ0wY

"Sorry I'm late."

I could hear his voice clearly and it sound so real.

This time, I gathered all the courage I have and turn to the direction where the sound of his voice was coming.

And there was was, standing feet away from me holding a cake with lights lit on. His eyes locked to mine and he gave me a smile, which took my breath away.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.." He started singing as he slowly took strides towards my direction.

Tears started to well up in my eyes, my heart was pounding too fast I felt it skip a beat.

He came.

Chad is here.

I couldn't help it, before he could even finish the birthday song, I was already on my feet and running towards him. Without thinking twice, I wrapped both my arms around him and hugged him so tight, to make sure that he was real.

Chad is real.

"Cindy burnt the first cake, I had to make a new one that's why I'm late. Sorry I missed the party."

I buried my face to his chest as I hugged him tighter.

You're here. I can't believe you're really here. I said over and over again in my head like a mantra.

"Happy Birthday, Courtney." I felt his free arm wrapped around me, drawing me closer to him.

This is probably the closest we are to each other. And I bet he could probably hear my heart beating so fast and loud. Nonstop.

Chad.

At that moment, I can finally admit to myself that I'm definitely, without a doubt, in love with him.

I love him so damn much.

-- END OF CHAPTER 32 --

Did you play the song while reading the end part of this chapter? It just hits differently with music! I hope you enjoyed it. The song is Your Love by Juris

Sorry there wasn't any update last week. I was travelling. I will upload one more chapter this week to make it up to you. As I promise, 1 chapter per week :)

Thank you all for your lovely comments! I enjoyed every bits of it, please continue to share your thoughts and tell me what do you think will happen next. I love reading all your comments. Thank you SiennaLewis and QueenofLaughter! And thank you all for making me feel so loved.

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