Requestor: xCapelinnix

AUs: Canon Divergence

Ships: Spinnetossa

Warnings: Angst, mentions of gore

Notes: Meant to be read as a sequel to 'Beloved'
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Spinnerella had been free of the chip for two days now, yet she could hardly say that she felt better. Every moment, she could hear Netossa's scream in the back of her mind. She could see the blood splattered across the cobblestone. The memory would never leave her, no matter how hard she tried to push it down and forget. At the end of the day, nothing was going to change what she'd done. Well, technically, it hadn't been her, but she couldn't help but feel like she should have been able to stop someone else from using her hands to hurt the love of her life.

Wind ruffled her hair a bit as she stood near the entrance to the Rebellion's new hideout, a wide cavern deep in the wilderness. She wanted to welcome the feeling; wind had always been something comforting, something that made her feel at home. But wind was also something she'd used to hurt Netossa. 

"There you are," A voice jolted Spinnerella out of her thoughts. Of course Netossa had come looking for her. "You've been out here for a long time. Are you alright?"

"It hasn't been that long, has it?" Spinnerella asked as casually as she could.

"Two hours," Netossa replied flatly. "Is something bothering you? Are you still feeling things from the chip?"

"No, no," Spinnerella did her best to sound convincing, but she'd never quite mastered the art of lying to Netossa. "Everything's fine."

"Mhm, you're still a terrible liar," Netossa said, only slightly accusingly. "What's wrong, darling? You know you can tell me anything."

"I've just been," Spinnerella cut herself off with a sigh. "I've just been thinking a lot about what happened in Erlandia."

"Oh, Spinny, that wasn't your fault." Netossa gently wrapped her arms around Spinnerella, pressing her forehead to the taller woman's cheek. "That was entirely Prime, not you. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I ran." Spinnerella replied. 

"What?"

"After I hurt you, I woke up for a minute." Spinnerella absently put one arm around Netossa's shoulder, finding comfort in the warmth of another person. "But I didn't even try to come and help you. I got scared and I just ran. If I'd stayed, maybe we could've gotten the chip off sooner. Maybe we wouldn't have had to fight each other again. Entrapta could've gotten her data sooner and we might already have the others back by now. But none of that happened because I was too scared of hurting you again if I stayed. I left you there bleeding on your own after you begged me to stay."

"Is this why you've hardly been talking since we got you back?" Netossa asked, reaching one hand up to cup the side of Spinnerella's face. "I thought you were still weak from the chip. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling like this?"

"We have more important things to worry about."

"Spinny, this is important too. You need to talk to me about these things." Netossa said firmly. "Of course you were scared. I would've been terrified. I don't blame you at all for running. If you hadn't and Prime took control of you again, you might've killed me."

Spinnerella flinched. What would she have done if Horde Prime had forced her to kill Netossa? That would have been the point of no return. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. But what I meant was, running was probably the most sensible thing you could've done. Please, stop worrying about all the what-ifs. We can't change what happened, but you didn't do anything we couldn't fix."

"What did I do to deserve you?" Spinnerella sighed, planting a kiss on top of Netossa's head. 

"Well, ever since I met you, you've done nothing but prove that you're the most amazing woman in all of Etheria, so there's that." Netossa replied with a tiny smile. "You swept me off me feet by being you. And I'm so glad you're you again."

"Yeah," Spinnerella answered with a smile of her own. "Me too."