𝗦𝗛𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗦
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN!

〔 season two, episode nine 〕

𝑪𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑹𝑨 𝑫𝑹𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑻 𝑨𝑪𝑹𝑶𝑺𝑺 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑷𝑨𝑽𝑬𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻, the walk back to colony was long, yet that wasn't what was bothering the brunette once again she was in a sate of shock — frozen but this time she could move — yet she couldn't speak.

she had nearly killed someone without hesitation.

What scared her was what she was capable of. What scared her was that she lacked the feeling of wrong. She knew it was wrong and what she should be feeling, but she didn't feel it.

Cass was smart. Not feeling what you're supposed to feel is a sign of many things.
All she knew was when she killed, she killed to get back to Nick to get back to her family.

All she knew was, she held a gun to a dangerous man, with no regard to her own safety or Lucianas — she even told them she didn't care if she lived or died — for Nick.

It was scary. She had always hid behind him. Always focused on him. She hadn't realised maybe how unhealthy it really was.

Sometimes, she wondered why she did it.

She was so afraid to lose him. She did anything to make sure that didn't happen.
She even put her own thoughts aside to stand by him — because no sane person would travel halfway across Mexico for a boy.

Maybe putting herself next to Nick kept that part of her hidden.

"They don't know where the colony is." Luciana stopped, which pulled Cassandra from her thoughts as she looked up at the girl

"Have they ever followed you before?" Nick questioned, polling the trolly to a stop

"No, but I never had a stupid gringo call them out—" Luciana replied, before turning her sights on Cassandra "–or his girlfriend point a gun at them. They could have killed us all right there"

"Well, we're safe, we got the water"

"No, no we're not safe. Now they're interested" Luciana said and Cassandra understood where she was coming from. They were her people, her people that she had just put in danger "it was not your place. If you want to die...if you want to drag her down with you, go ahead"

"I'm sorry" Nick apologised as Luciana walked away

"Lo siento"

"What?"

"It means I'm sorry"

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Back at the colony, Cassandra sat on the steps off the infirmary as Nick and Luciana handed in the supplies, Cassandra fiddled with her fingers, tugging on them and cracking her knuckles.

Once Luciana walked away, Nick turned his attention to Cassandra the spaced out look in her eyes reminded him of when he got her back after she and Alicia had been taken — after she had killed a man.

He took a seat beside her yet her eyes were stil glued on her hands in a fixed gaze, he placed his hand over hers stopping her from pulling at her fingers

Cassandra stopped fiddling with her hands, instead she locked her fingers through Nick's who ran his thumb over her knuckles soothingly — Nick didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to say oh thank you for threatening to kill someone for me.

Cassandra wasn't a killer. It was against everything she was raised to be. Nick never would ask that of her, for her to kill for him — what was trapped in his mind though, was how willing she was to die for him, what scared him was her lack of care for his own life.

"I did it because I can't lose you" Cassandra whispered as she looked up at Nick, there brown orbs meeting "–it scares me the lengths I'll go for you. How easily my morals change for you"

"I can't lose you either Cass. You don't care if you live or you die? Do you understand how it felt hearing that?"

"Do you?" Cassandra replied calmly but she could feel anger seeping through, the amount of times she had heard Nick say that or something like that

Nick's face dropped as he realised the amount of times he had actually made her feel that pain — the pain of someone you love not caring about themselves 

They sat in slience for a few more moments before Nick dropped her hand and stood up before Cassandra could even question it Nick had walked away

Cassandra watched him confused untill she saw the little girl, the one who had recently lost her father, a small smile graced her lips as she watched Nick interact with her

She watched as Nick handed her the cake that he had stolen from the gang members, letting a soft chuckle of happiness out, he had risked it all to put a smile on that girls face — it was moments like this when she remembered why she loved him so much – he had a good heart.

It was moments like this that made her understand why she followed him blindly.

For all his faults, he was a good man. That she loved. That she would do anything for.

Cass stood up brushing the dirt and sand off her jeans as she made her way towards the two of them

"Okay. Well, it's here if you want It"

She smiled at the little girl as she took a seat beside Nick, who looked at her warily but with a cheeky smile. The two of them leant against the wall as they watched the little girl quickly open the packet and stuff her face with the chocolate cake

"Lo siento." Nick told the little girl.

Cassandra smiled softly grabbing his hand making him look at her, both of there eyes filled with love.

"Lo siento. For everything" Nick told her leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

"I hear you almost started a war over a Gansito" Alejandro walked into the room,
Nick turned as Cassandra continued to look around

"That girls father died today" Nick stated, making Cassandra smile "I just thought she might need something"

"And what did you think she needed?"

"Something. Anything. Comfort" Nick listed

"Or maybe for someone in this place to give a dam. That little girl was gonna watch her father get ripped apart and no one was there to comfort her" spun around facing Alejandro as she spoke

"If its comfort you want to offer, your going to need more cake" Alejandro said, he didn't care you could tell in the way he spoke

"Not everything can be about death" Nick stated and that made Cassandra smile, he was learning. Learning a balance but she knew it would tip to the otherside before he fully understood we're middle ground was

"You're exactly wrong" Alejandro said unlocking a room in his trailer, leading both Cassandra and Nick inside.

Cassandra watched as Alejandro picked up a vial in his hand as he continued to speak

"This morning, you saw me inject that man" he threw Nick the bottle "saline solution. It will do nothing to protect him from the infection. He will soon die"

"So why inject him?"

"Like you, i would prefer that he not fear"

"—but that's lying, your lying to them about there own lives for what? To give you peace" Cassandra's mouth opened before she could think

"We're running out of medicine. Nicholas, Cassandra, when we run out of cake and drugs where will we turn?" Alejandro asked as he watched the two nineteen year olds "comfort is no supplement for faith. You do that girl no favours."

"Faith doesn't raise children. It makes them hate it" Cassandra couldn't bite her Tongue not when his words hit so close to home for her, Nick reached out taking ahold of her hand silently trying to comfort her

"So you're just gonna wait?" Nick asked trying to direct the attention towards something else "What good is faith when the water runs out?"

"This is a test, the dead are walking toward their final resting place and when they leave, when the world is washed clean of death, we the faithful will remain. We have been chosen"

Cassandra scoffed and let out a little laugh
"If that's the truth my daddy would stil be alive...he was as faithful as they came yet he was one of the first to go"

Alejandro watched Cassandra carefully
"You think this is all bullshit"

"I know it is" Cassandra replied "I don't want a part in this and I don't want Nick being brainwashed either"

"How do you know, why are you so sure?" Nick questioned Alejandro which made him smile slightly. Cassandra looked up at Nick with pleading eyes

It was always this way, Nick protected Cassandra but she protected him mentally, she tried to keep him sane – but people knew he was the weak link..the easily lead and when they realised Cassandra stood in the way of Nick truly believing they hated her for it — even Strand in the beginning but then he grew to love her for it.

First Strand, Celia and now Alejandro...she feared she wouldn't be able to stop the next one.

Alejandro bent down and Cassandra squinted her eyes as she saw a huge chunk of his shoulder missing – it wasn't true. It couldn't be true.

He picked up a bottle of water, holding it out to Nick

"Drink." Nick stared him down, his grip on Cassandra's hand turning from comforting to protective in seconds "your welcome to stay with us. But if you ever put my people in danger again, I will feed you to the wall"

With those words, Cassandra's stare turned into a glare, with those words Alejandro had turned into her enemy.