𝗦𝗛𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗦
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE!

【 season two, episode twelve 】

𝑨 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑪𝑲 𝑶𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬 𝑻𝑹𝑨𝑰𝑳𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑳𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑹𝑨 𝑨𝑺 𝑺𝑯𝑬 𝑸𝑼𝑰𝑪𝑲𝑳𝒀 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑫 𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑹𝑻,
Pulling it over her head, glancing over at Nick who was getting dressed. He gestured for her to answer the door.

As she swung the door open with a tight grip on the handle, she noticed Luciana and man she wasn't familiar with looking at her with a worried look

"We have a problem" Luciana said "Francisco is gone"

Upon hearing Luciana's words Nick walked over to the door, toothbrush in his mouth as he spoke

"Gone?" He glanced at Luciana "What do you mean?"

Cassandra ran her fingers though her hair trying to straighten her thick locks out,

"He has left us"

"Well, maybe he went to the warehouse without you" Nick suggested,

"He took his family"

Cassandra glanced to Nick bitting her lip. If he took his family he really did leave. And if people who had believed in this place since the beginning were leaving maybe they should to. Cassandra wasn't normally one to give up on things — but this, this place wasn't her problem. She didn't believe in it from the start.

She had feeling any place from now on was just going to fall.

The priority should be surviving. She glanced down at the new ring that sat on her finger. She wished she could enjoy it more. That they really could have a life here but that wasn't possible.

She only hoped Nick could see that. She wasn't prepared to risk there life's for these people as selfish as that was. If they were willing to die for faith, then who was Cassandra to try and change that — she knew better then anyone that it's almost impossible to sway a believer.

Nick shared a worried look with Cassandra,
"I'll go. With Luciana"

"Nick no!—" Cassandra grabbed his arm, giving him a look, she thought they should leave not get more involved

"Cass I'll be fine" he said turning towards her and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

♱

Cassandra stood beside Nick and Luciana as they sat in the pharmacy with Alejandro,
Nick fiddled with Cassandra's hand as lucia explained to Alejandro that Francisco was gone

"–and his family" Nick added as he stared at Cassandra

"Did you know about this?" Alejandro asked Luciana almost blaming her

"No" she replied shocked almost. And with the looks in both there eyes, it remanded her of herself and her father, instinctively she tightened her grip on Nick's hand, making him run his thumb over her knuckles soothingly

"Two scouts, in two weeks. No thank you. No goodbye. Steal into the night like cowards"

"It seems they don't believe in your lies" Cassandra stated her voice carrying strength making Nick sigh knowing her words were gonna cause trouble – but he was also very proud of her for actually voicing her thoughts

Alejandro shot her a glare, making Nick stare at him with a warning

"I know you don't believe, but others do. But if you do not believe why are you still here?"

Cassandra turned her stare towards Nick. She was here for him. She put herself in a place she did not want to be for him..she knew that.

But she wasn't going to say that so she just dropped her head. Biting her tongue.

"He has a sick child. He wouldn't have left unless he believed he had to—" Cassandra said, she knew she wouldn't have or Nick. If they had a sick child they would fight tooth and nail for them.

Luciana shot Cassandra a look before speaking up
"The people need to hear your words"

"The scouts they should hear yours, our strongest and most faithful. You know what they face outside the wall. The dangers. You see way they see. You speak to them and keep it quiet"

♱

Cassandra refused to go to Alejandro's meeting instead she went back to her trailer, kicking the dirt as she went, she didn't want to be here. She wanted to go. This place wasn't her home. These people weren't her people. They were everything she hated. Faith..religion.

Cassandra walked into their trailer, she stared at herself in the mirror. She was worn out now. The bags under her eyes...the scar on her forehead from were she hit the dash when Nick killed his friend.

She traced it with her finger, the diamonds of her ring catching on the light. She was his wife..she followed him...she hid behind him...she let him make the calls. But she was smarter but she was blinded

Across the colony unaware of his wife's fragile state,

Nick was planning to sneak out to the meeting place that night, against everyone's judgement. Alejandro didn't want him to go nor did Luciana and he knew Cassandra didn't but he had to

"Why do you care so much for this place?" 
Luciana's partner asked

"It's not this place. It's what it offers. I'm doing this to keep my wife safe, she's to good for what's out there"

And with those words said, he walked away heading towards the trailer where Cass was, he felt guilty because he was going be sneaking away tonight..lying to everyone

And the last time he left her in the night, he almost lost her for good.

But he needed to protect this place so he could protect her. But what he was failing to realise was how unhappy she was.
Stepping into the trailer he saw her with her knees tugged into her chest as she leaned against the wall with a hesitant but determined look on her face. He noticed there was a bag beside her and he squinted his eyes

"I want to go..I want to leave" Cass spoke up

"It's not safe out there"

"It's not safe in here. They will find us Nick. You know that" Cassandra said as she stood up, Nick was shocked with her outburst and he tried to reach for her but she pulled away leaving him with hurt in his eyes

"Baby—"

"Nick this place. It's evil. The religious, the faith. Don't you see how unhappy I am why do you want to stay here?" Cassandra asked him as she stared at him with hurt eyes "now it's not even safe" she cried,

"Because I'm trying to protect you, this place can keep you safe" Nick said his voice gaining volume

"You brought me out here. You left your family. We were safe with them and i should have said something then but I was so afraid of losing you! Losing you like every time before when you got back on drugs..this is what this world is to you isn't it...just a long lasting drug! Huh Nick! Just a junkie chasing his high"

Something about her calling him a junkie made him snap. She had never called a him a junkie, never.

"Stop calling me that" Nick snapped stepped forward anger flashing in his eyes but Cassandra stood still a challenge look in her eyes

"I begged you...I begged you Nick. To leave. I begged, I pleaded. I don't want to be here"

"Then why did you come with me that was your choice you could have stayed" Nick yelled, making Cassandra stare at him with hurt and without thinking she slapped him,
— for some reason what he said stung. Like he didn't care that she was there. Like he didn't need her. When she had always chose him, even before. She stood by his side when she could have been having a better life. After everything she had done for him. That stung.

"You ungrateful prick!"

Nick looked at her in shock as the slap echoed throughout the room. And he knew he probably went to far but he was scared. He knew he fucked up leaving, putting her in danger and now he was trying to make up for that — but whatever he did always seemed to be the wrong choice

He watched as anger built up in her eyes and Cassandra as much as she hated it, she felt better slapping him, like it let out some anger

"I came with you because its all I know Nick. Since you started sticking needles in your arm all I have been is by your side being whatever you or your family wanted me to be. All I've ever known is what other people want of me..now I'm trying to figure out what I want and I can't do that when I'm standing in a place filled with my past, things I hate and your the one keeping me here. My whole life was what other people expected of me. I never had my own voice."

Cassandra took a deep breath,

"It ain't about me, it ain't about this place...its about your dad. Right!. You can't trust this place or me..because he screwed with your head so much."

And again Cassandra slapped him, this time she kept pushing on his chest pushing him away

"My dad his religion. The same religion you keep finding yourself tied up in...the same faith. Made him hate me for loving you. So don't you dare use my dad against me...Nick it's about you it's always been about you. I do anything for you! Christ Nick I pointed a gun at a dangerous man for you with no regards for my own safety! Because i think I am nothing without you, that I would die in this world without you but maybe you put me in dangerous situations. Maybe my dad was right all along" with every word she spoke she had hit his chest and Nick was losing his patience but as she said the last sentence

Maybe her dad was right about him, that hurt him more then any blow she had given him

He grabbed her wrists stopping her from hitting him and pushed her onto the bed,
He fell with her pinning her to the bed and his voice cracked, his eyes glassy as he stared down at her keeping her hands pinned

"Is that what you really think?, that he was right? That loving me is not worth it! Do you really regret it, everything?" Nick eyes shone with fear. He loved her more then anything in the world and all he was doing was trying to keep her safe — but maybe it was to late, maybe it was to late the day she showed up in the hospital right at the very start. Maybe he had already lost her then. And she had just been trying to convince herself that she still loved him, so she didn't feel as though she risked everything for nothing.

He knew he was a screw up. But to hear the one person who never doubted him, who never gave up on him. Say the things she was saying. Hurt him. Yeah he knew he pushed her to far.

"Answer me, baby please" Nick whispered as he stared down at her, both of there breaths mingling together at how close they were

"No.." Cassandra whispered, Nick let out a sigh of relief placing his forehead against hers

Cassandra never regretted loving him or choosing him. She was just afraid and she needed to start standing up for what she wants and what she thinks — because she is smart, to smart to keep following his stupid decisions

Nick placed soft kisses on her lips mumbling that he loved her over and over and that he was sorry.

"I'm here because of you" Nick whispered staring into her eyes "I wanted this place to be safe for you but not just that I'm here...I'm alive because of you"

Cassandra kissed him, pulling her into her embrace. Nicks hands dropped from her wrists and travelled down her body untill he gripped her thighs all while they shared a deep kiss...