SHE had come a long way from her humble beginnings. In the summer of 2015, SHE understood just how much of a G-d's child SHE really was. As mentioned in previous stories, in 2012, SHE was diagnosed with an incurable and untreatable illness called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or ME for short. Lying in bed for two years, unable to join the land of the living, had stripped her of all hope and even the will to live. Her spirit was broken. The illness had taken everything SHE had away from her. SHE had given up especially when on July 31st 2015, SHE stopped breathing. Her body just gave out; after all, a human vessel can only take so much.

    SHE was lying on her mom's bed with her mom and they were talking via Skype to a relative that lived in Siberia that claimed she had healing gifts. At that point SHE and her mom were willing to try anything. It was a particularly bad day for her. SHE was so weak, SHE couldn't move at all and SHE was just so upset over everything. And then out of nowhere, as both her mom and the cousin looked on and were talking, they suddenly saw her go completely pale.

    SHE remembered that their voices went from normal to a buzzing sound as her eyes kind of glazed over. SHE no longer felt neither here nor there. Time seemed to slow down and stop altogether as her loved ones saw what was happening and were frightened. Her mother started to lightly slap her cheeks at the same time as SHE felt her soul start to leave her body. It wanted to go; the vessel had given up and it couldn't take the destruction any more.

    As whatever was going on earth continued, there was a halt from above. It felt a lot like a referee calling for a time out at a soccer game. Then SHE was pushed back into her body with a message that it wasn't her time yet, just like that angel had told her years before during a very nasty episode when SHE was paralyzed on the floor. As soon as her soul was cemented back into place, SHE took a deep breath and her eyes came back out of that dazed look as SHE started to cry and her family breathed a sigh of relief; as her mother brought a cold wet cloth to put on her forehead.

What had just happened?

    SHE didn't remember the rest of the day as they all bled into one at that point. The next day however—August 1st, 2015—was when everything changed. That day started like any other in the last 2 years. Except that at some point SHE went into her mother's room and lay on her bed again. This time after talking, SHE didn't just start to cry, SHE wept. Tears like never ending rivers ran down her face as the full tissue box emptied.

    Her mother asked her if she wanted her Torah and at first SHE said no but then something made her change her mind. The family wasn't religious in any way, shape, or form but spiritually SHE always felt close to her religion so SHE held onto the Torah for dear life and continued to weep and beg. Her parents had never seen her so tortured; they repeatedly left the room to cry themselves. The brave young woman, who had been through so much, had her spirit completely broken along with everything else. SHE wasn't allowed to die, to transition home; than what was left there for her? Why wasn't SHE allowed to leave? For 45 minutes, SHE grasped the Torah and wept wild painful tears as SHE begged for some form of help. The sun outside didn't help matters.

    Suddenly, a light burst from the heavens. It was a brilliant gold color and it went from up above, through her head, knocking a massive concrete sized block off of her third eye and went through her entire body into the ground; which was interesting considering SHE was on the second floor. It warmed her whole body as it lit her up like a light bulb. SHE saw three angels appear before her and then out of nowhere, the sun disappeared and it started to rain heavily.

    There was no explanation for any of it as the rain eventually subsided—and her father who had walked out on the deck to close the umbrella, slipped and fell on the wet surface—and SHE stood up with the Torah in hand and her angels around her and walked outside onto the deck. SHE felt like SHE was glowing but most importantly, strength that SHE hadn't felt in years had returned to her 3 fold. Her angels had made it rain.

    Her parents couldn't believe their eyes as SHE walked strongly around in circles in her backyard. They didn't want her to overdo it in anyway but SHE felt like someone had charged up her batteries and plugged her in. In the span of just a few moments SHE went from living on fumes to as much energy as a nuclear power plant. That day—which became known as her rebirth—SHE walked for 8 hours straight.

SHE and her mom went to the beach where her mom found $20 in the sand and they watched the beautiful sunset for the first time in 2 years by the water. Her angels continued to be with her as SHE faced challenges with anxiety and PTSD throughout the coming months. And they still are. What happened to her on August 1st, 2015 was truly a miracle of epic proportions that can't be explained logically, medically, or scientifically. Religious or not, there is a higher power out there and it saved her from what could have been a real disaster.

Death is no longer an option, though SHE's not afraid of it and never had been. SHE was saved and SHE knows SHE has a purpose on this earth. Just 2 months after the rebirth, SHE went on her first vacation and cruise in 2 years where SHE went jet skiing, zip lining, and scuba diving. How is that even remotely possible given everything SHE went through? But it was and it happened.

All of her gifts were returned to her as well; SHE has a lot of work to do on the sensitive one but her empathic and healer gifts are very prominent. The heat in her hands even when SHE's chilly provides a source of not just healing but warmth. Not too many people can warm themselves up with their bare hands while standing in a windy location; but SHE can and has been able to restart that again. SHE does wish that her empathic side would be a little bit less as SHE's had to learn how to guard herself against people's bad energy or juju as it's called in some places.

As her life continues onward, SHE has a lot to do and a lot to explore within herself and learn about herself and those around her. SHE's only one person, one vessel, one soul, but SHE can do a lot. SHE's eternally blessed and ready to face the new chapter in her life that's coming up in 2017. SHE hopes that her rebirth story gives those with chronic illnesses like ME hope to never give up and that miracles really do exist. Because SHE's living proof of that, every single day. So never give up!

Rebirth

For months

I have felt

As if my body

Was telling me

The future

I was unable

To eat anything solid

Or if so

In small portions

It was as if there

Was a blockage in my stomach

Low-Dose Naltrexone

LDN for short

Was said to have

Positive effects

On people with

ME

But I was seeing none of it

Instead my stomach shrunk

And shrunk

Until even the sight of food

Made me want to throw up

To make matters worse

A many year battle with

Ovarian cysts

Started happening weekly

And rupturing

The pain was bad and it landed

Me in the ER

Many a time

My doctor prescribed strong medicine

To combat this nuisance

Continuing to add to the already

Smoldering pile

Within my body

A nearly 3 decade old

Mystery stomach pain

Came back with a vengeance

But here

Finally

A diagnosis!

A hernia that needed

Immediate surgery

So off I went to have

The hole closed with a mesh

And in order to recover properly

Had to force myself to walk

Now for a healthy human being

This would have not been a problem

But one must understand

That as a person diagnosed in 2012

With ME

A non-curable illness that has been around

For over 80 years

I spent 2 years completely

Bedridden

Relying on canes

Shower chairs

Other people

Wheelchairs

Crawling on my hands and knees

Just to get around

That is when I actually could move

I was immobile

All before I turned 30

1-4 million Americans and

17 million Worldwide

As that number grows steadily every year

Will be an epidemic soon

But I digress

So I started slowly walking

Around my house

Thanks to dissolvable stitches

I did not need to worry about

Doctors' visits

And then as all post operations go

You feel pain

But mine doubled as another

Massive ovarian cyst ruptured

And I was taking these hardcore

Painkillers to relieve the awful pain

As the side effects kicked in

And over the counter medicines were

Given to combat those

My stomach gave out

I could no longer keep anything down

Or in

I was rushed to the ER yet again

They couldn't stop the process

As I begged for help

For the first time in my life

I cried in front of strangers

Something my mother had prayed

She would never see

The illness was ripping me to shreds

From the inside out

When I got home

Because I refused to stay in the hospital

As they couldn't help me anyways

I was in my mother's bed with her

Just lying there and crying

When out of nowhere

I stopped breathing

As she recounts it

I went completely pale

My eyes glazed over

And my breathing stopped

Panicked

She slapped my face lightly, shook me

And called my name

I remember as my breathing stopped

Being ready to go

But I wasn't received

It was not my time yet

That's when I started breathing again

On my own

Without any help of resuscitation

As I cried and cried for days

That was the straw that broke

The camel's back

On August 1st, 2015

Was the day I felt

Rebirth

Something broke through me

Light went into my body

Through my head

To my feet and into the ground

Though I am nowhere near

Healed or cured

I feel that since then

I have inching

Toward recovery

On bad days

When panic attacks

That started after last ER visit

Hit me in the mornings

I try to breathe through them

I leave the bad days in the past

I do not look back there

Nor do I make solid future plans

I live one day at a time

Prayers work wonders

One doesn't have to be religious

Or follow a specific G-d

Just say words from your heart

And send it out to the universe

The rest will be taken care of

My rebirth is a daily

Work process where I

Walk on my own

Eat all foods

See doctors/therapists that I know

Will help me moving forwards

Leaving my past

Even that of over a month ago

Seems like a lifetime already

As I move one inch at time

Towards turning 32.

***Pinsky, Olga. "Rebirth". Rebirth. Copyrighted by Wattpad. ©All Rights Reserved.***