Short chapter

The next day, I dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, keeping my brown hair down and leaving my glasses on.

We were off to meet Rayleen Carter.

Apparently she worked for a well known oil incorporation in New York along with a BDSM club. Her husband handed down the business to her once they got married and pursued his dream into baseball.

But that's all I knew.

My attitude was nonchalant. I was still in a daze from yesterday.

We arrived at the hotel she was staying at and Aaron urged me to knock on the door.

I felt like a charity case.

I knocked twice and a blonde pregnant girl answered the door.

She stood tall and she had a coffee in her hand. "Aries is it?" She asks and I smile and nod.

"I'm Amy. You must be here to see Ray." She says and I nod trying to follow her.

She spoke so quickly.

Ray? Was I at the right place?

"Well don't be shy. Come on in!" She says in a light voice and I step inside the large room.

This sure was fancy.

"Rayleen is just changing her sons daughter. She'll be right with you." The girl Amy tells me as I sit on the couch.

"Would you like anything to drink or eat?" She asks me.

"No thank you." I reply kindly.

"I will treat you just like I treat Ray. Don't be scared to eat girl." She says and plops a plate down of assorted candies in my face.

"Maybe I'll have just one." I say and reach for the plate and Amy smiles brightly.

She was awfully nice.

"Hold on. Little girl in here is kicking everything around. Be right back." Amy tells me and wobbles off to the other room.

Aaron said he would pick me up later and now I felt awkward.

What would she think of me?

I knew I was messed up but...would she judge?

People were so judgmental now a days.

Suddenly a little girl wobbles into the room.

"Hi." She says as her brown hair brushes across her shoulders.

"Hi there." I say waving at her.

"My names Gabriella. Are you here to see mommy?" The little girl asks.

Rayleen? "Yes I am." I say smiling at her.

She nods and studies my face. Jesus, I was feeling uncomfortable by a 5 year old!

"You're really pretty." The little girl says and I smile. "Thank you. So are you cutie." I say and she grins.

"I got it from my momma." She says giggling.

"Gabby what are you doing in there?" I hear and suddenly a woman who looks fairly young walks through the door.

And my God, she's beautiful.

She has bright red hair and beautiful light brown eyes. An oval shaped head with pink full lips.

Her figure is shaped perfectly even in her sweatpants and tank top, with her son in her hands.

"I'm so sorry! Amy's big head didn't tell me you were here." She mumbles and I stand to my feet respectively.

This woman had issues? How?

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Carter." I say and as I go to extend my hand she leans over and hugs me tightly.

Not like a friend hug but more of an 'I know you're hurting' hug.

I want to cry almost right there. She retreats and sits in the chair across from me, putting her son to the floor where he wobbles towards his sister. "Please call me Rayleen or Ray. Mrs. Carter makes me feel so old." She says with a bright smile.

"So Aries, Aaron didn't tell me much but said you needed someone to talk to." She adds and I internally groan.

"I know- I know what it's like not wanting to have help. You want to do things by yourself." She explains.

"Exactly. I don't have time for the emotion or stress. I'm too stubborn for that." I say and she stares at me. "Who is he?" She suddenly asks. "Hm?" I question.

"The guy. Who is he?" She asks me.

Should I even say? "Raphael Underwood." I mumble.

"The model?" Did everyone know him but me? "Yeah. He's married but he doesn't even love her. I saw he having an affair with my boss and then I had an affair with him but now she's pregnant." I explain and Rayleen sits back.

"Have you talked to him?" She asks me. "I just told him I knew. Ive been getting these weird text messages about my old life and he's trying to help me but its hard to trust him. He's hiding so much. He's telling me secrets, but only telling me half of it. He has a dark past and I'm so pissed off that he's hiding it from me."

Damn Raphael. He had this affect on me.

"Aries, I know that's not your real name. So why are you mad at him when you're hiding your true identity?" Well damn.

She hit it, dead on.

She pauses and rubs her chin.

"You're afraid to get hurt. I see that. I'm going to tell you a short story. When I was with someone I really cared about, I gave him everything. I submitted my mind and body to him. One time, as we were doing certain acts- he began hurting me and I told him to stop- but he didn't. I begged two more times and still he didn't and once he finally realize what he did- it was too late. That situation brought me back to when I was child again. I was molested by multiple men and my father watched it happen. He filmed it even. So when the man I loved began hurting me. Suddenly I was a child again. I was vulnerable.

When you get hurt by someone you care about- its becoming vulnerable. It has a control over you. So when you get hurt Aries, you get scared cause suddenly you're that little girl again. Something must have happened to you as a child to make you be afraid of becoming a woman.

Scared to show your true potential. You're afraid to be left because you're afraid to rely on someone for happiness. I don't care the fact that Raphael is married because even if he wasn't he would have left long ago. As soon as the messages started he would have been gone."

I stare at this strange woman Rayleen.

Everything she was saying was ultimately true. The power her words had made the soles of my feet even shudder.

"I'll be honest with you- the only reason why you can't be truly happy is because you haven't forgave. Not the people who did you wrong but you haven't forgiven yourself. So you put yourself down. There is more than one way to self harm yourself. You can cut, purge, starve, burn and you can also deprive yourself from potential. You don't give yourself the best. You seek things that will hurt you in the long run. You're harming yourself by not realizing its okay to run; as long as you can go back. You can't be Aries forever. Because she is not who you really are."

Tears pooled in my eyes as I sniffled back the tears. She reaches over and grabs a tissue and hands it to me.

I thank her silently and wipe my face.

"It's important to love yourself and by doing so you need to be honest with yourself." She says slowly.

She didn't know me but it was as if she was unraveling me from head to toe.

"Forgive yourself. Whatever happened to you, whatever you felt like was your fault. It's okay. You're going to be okay." She says, looking at me.

But how did she know?

She couldn't tell the future.

"But-I'm running from the law." I admit with a croak.

"Did you murder someone?" She asks, but she doesn't seem afraid.

There is no fear shown across her face.

"No." I reply honestly. "Then you can always go back. You can't run forever." She says slowly and I look back up.

That was something that was hard for me to even understand.

The hotel door opens and walks in a tall man. He has perfectly sculpted eyebrows with deep intoxicating brown eyes. His full pink lips are turned into a smile as he looks over at Rayleen.

"Hey there kitten." He says.

Kitten? He's dressed in a baseball outfit and his daughter runs towards him.

"I married the man who hurt me and we had two beautiful children. All I had to do was forgive." She says with a smile and stands up to kiss her husband.

I smile at the two. I just wish that was possible for Raphael and I...but now.

It couldn't ever.

Suddenly Amy bursts through the door, her eyes wild.

"My water broke." She exclaims.

"Oh shit." I whisper.

I was forced to go to the hospital with the family and while we were in the waiting room, I checked my phone to see I had 10 missed calls from Raphael.

I listened to the voicemails that consisted.

"Angel please come back."

"I can't focus without you."

"Aries, we need to talk. Call me back."

I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

I was so confused on what to so. I was ultimately confused on who I even was.

Rayleen was talking to the doctor while her husband, Elliot was taking the kids to their grandmothers.

Amy had a baby boy, she named Lyle.

Aaron didn't answer his phone, probably assuming I was begging for an escape.

Rayleen made a lot of points and yet I felt as if she knew exactly what was going on- her advice would be different.

She'd want me to go home.

But now it was time to face the facts.

Next week was the ball and my parents were in town.

I would tell him who I was then and whatever happened, happened.

Even if that meant me going back to jail.

~*~*~*

Next chapter- it starts to get real.

This isn't the last of Ray and Eli though..I'm just not in a good mood