You never realize the lessons you learn through pain until you need them later. That's where I am now.
—
I'm Elena.
—

Have you ever met someone that, even if you know you love someone else, you know you're going to fall for? Yeah, she was this person.

The day I met her, despite being desperately in love with my (unfortunately straight) best friend At the time, I couldn't help but to feel that flutter in my chest that I hadn't felt for anyone but Rosie in, well, years.

Did I talk to her? No. Did I see her and then awkwardly stare at the back of her head the whole bus ride to the upper west side? Maybe. Did I die a little when we both got off at the same stop? Definitely.

I wouldn't find out until three weeks later that her name was Maria.
———
She had something about her that I had never seen before. An aura of warmth and sunlight. Her voice was music the minute she asked me for my name. Her eyes held the stars and her smile was heaven. Everything about her spelled disaster for my poor heart.

She didn't even have to try for me to fall, and fall hard. She didn't even have to try to be the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life.

And god bless, her laugh. Hearing it is the equivalent to sitting in the sunshine after days, no weeks, of darkness.

She was the rain in the desert.
She was all of the poetry in the world.
She is still unaware of my feelings.

But it's more than just feelings. I don't just feel something when I'm around her. Her presence was an experience.

Even her anger was beautiful. Like the waves crashing onto the shore. It was thundering and terrifying and I would want nothing more than to ease her mind.

Her anxiety makes me fear she doesn't know just how much we care. All I ever wanted was to be someone she looked to when she needed to know that someone cared.

Her sadness breaks my heart. It shreds it into tiny pieces and I just want to hold her and let her break just so she knows that it's okay, and that I will always be there to help her pick up the pieces again.
———
Unfortunately it is often time the things that are the most beautiful that are taken from us.

Deception creeped into her mind, and poisoned her trust. Her anxiety got the better of her and her anger crashed against me. Her heart was broken by something I could never understand and pray could never happen to anyone else.

She was betrayed. Her trust was snapped like a flimsy twig. I can't say I blame her either. I'm just sorry that it ever happened.

It will take time, years of effort, for her to be able to trust again. I intend on being there every single step of the way.
———
This is her story.