Cameron POV

I have been staying at Shawn's for a while. He has been helping me out about my feelings for Nash. I am going to tell him today. "What if he doesnt like me back, Shawn ?" Shawn smiled gently and hugged me, "Then you can move in. From now on we are brothers. Got it, Cameron ?"

I started to cry tears of joy. Shawn has been through so much. For him to call me his brother that means a lot. "How long will Riley be gone ?", I asked knowing he is freaking out on the inside. "She wont be back for a while. She wanted to go abroad with Ashley's family so I said yes. After all she deserves it."

The boys were coming over. I was anxious. Nash might hate me after this. Nash was the first to into the door. He hugged me and I instantly felt butterflies in my stomach. I had to tell him. "Nash ? I like you." Nash smiled and said, "Duh. Cameron you're my friend. I like you too." I groaned in frustration, "No Nash. I Like YOU !", I screamed. Nash gave me this look I couldnt quite understand then IT was said. "I dont like you like that Cameron. Stay away from me, God you just ruined everything !", Nash yelled as he stepped back outside to go to his car. He was also telling the other guys if they wanted leave the should go with him now.

Matt looked at me and asked the million dollar question, "Are you ok ?" Shawn then spoke up and started screaming at everyone. Good thing Taylor and Matt's girlfriends werent present for this. "Cameron isnt going to infect you from being gay ! Im gay and you all are perfectly fine with it ! Fuck all of you ! Cameron deserves better...", but I stopped him. "S-stop. Stop Shawn." I looked at everyone and I had seen shocked expressions and confused expressions. I went to pack my stuff.

Once I had everything I stepped outside with everyone following. Nash was still outside. I hugged Shawn and told him my goodbyes and that he doesnt have to worry about me. I put my bags in my car and drove back to my house. I grabbed extra clothes then checked into a motel.

Once I was checked in I logged on to Vine. "Hey guys. If anyone is struggling to cope or keep themselves in a healthy state. Just know that I get you. I understand what... What it feels like.", I said getting ready to say something to s=cheer those people up. People like me. "I am here telling you it is ok to be afraid. Your battles are your battles. Fight them and fight them headstrong. Bye"

I then started to cry out and I couldnt stop it. What did I do to Nash for him to hate me ? What did he mean by I ruined everything ? I know I should be at Shawn's leaning on him, but I must fight this first battle on my own. I cried and cried all night. Shawn and some of the boys kept calling and I didnt answer. Then I checked my Youtube channel and Vine. Nash had unfollowed me. He posted a video trashing Cash. Basically he trashed US. "Cameron and I are no longer Cash or friends or whatever you guys refer to us as.It doesnt matter why. I just thought that everyone should know that. Click and subscribe at you disposal."

That shattered my heart. I cried and cried for days. I couldnt, eat,sleep, hell I felt like I couldnt breathe. That is when I decided to leave the motel and bring my stuff back to my house. When inside I changed clothes and took a shower. Nothing was working. I couldnt keep my mind off of what Nash had said to the world. I didnt think that he would be this pissed ! I walked to the nearest park and I sat on a bench. That is when a 11 year old girl walked up to me wearing a shirt that said "nashty". It was Nash's signature shirts.

"Cameron Dallas ! May I please take a picture of you !" I shrugged and told her to go right ahead. I didnt care if I looked good right now. I certainly didnt feel good. "Thank You !" I replied with a, "You're welcome, Kiddo" Then she was on her way. I sat there crying til I headed back in the direction of my house. I started throwing stuff everywhere all over the house. I couldnt think. Nash and I had so many memories ! He was willing to throw that all away because I had a crush on HIM !

I headed to my bathroom and grabbed one of the blades. I slit my wrist and watched at the blood trickled down. I made sure not to cut too deep. Once I cleaned up all my blood I went to lay in the floor in the hallway. I was way to tired to make it to my bed.I didnt even care if my front door was unlocked. Then someone will see the broken side of me, and I was fine with that.

My vision got blurry as I drifted into sleep.