Before you read this chapter get out your box of tissues. What you are about to read is probably one of my favorite chapters in the entire series. It's also the longest chapter I've ever wrote. My chapters are usually around 1,000 words each,and this chapter is 3,027 words long before this little message I'm typing. Be prepared to cry. I did and I'm the one that wrote it. Without any further a due, the next chapter:

Cameron's P.O.V.
Why am I doing this? I'm parked outside of my old apartment. I hold on to the steering wheel with both of my hands. Breathe Cameron. I unbuckle my seatbelt slowly. I pull down the mirror and look at myself. Have these bags been under my eyes this whole time. And look at how worn out I look. Is Nash right? Have I really let myself go? I step out out of the car. I reach back inside, grabbing my bag. I strap it over my shoulders. Is this actually happening? He cheated on you Cameron. What are you doing? I knock on the door. No response. I knock a few more times. Ok here it goes. I slide my key into the lock. I twist it, unlocking the door, allowing me access into the apartment. I walk in, slowly shutting the door behind me. My heart is beating so fast. It's feels like I'm walking into a bear's cave. My eyes are moving everywhere as I observe what's become of my old home. Garbage and dirty clothes liter the floor, the dank smell of dirty socks and body odor filling the living room. What has happened to Shawn? I thought he'd be perfectly ok. I thought the apartment would look amazing.
Call out to Shawn dude. Do it. Just say his name. I listen quietly, and hear a very small crying sound coming from the bedroom. Is that him? Why's he crying? Well, I'm about to find out. Here I go. Could my heart even physically beat faster? "Shawn." I say. My voice sounds so strange to me. I hear the quiet cry stop for a second. "Shawn?" I say again. I feel like crying and I haven't even seen him yet. The bedroom door opens. I am greeted with a horrible looking Shawn; sweatpants and no shirt on. Cute but so worn out looking. His hair is pointed in all different directions, his eyes are bloodshot. Tears are stained all over his cheeks.

"Cameron?" he asks.

"Hi Shawn." I say. They're so many things I want to do right now. I want to ask him how his day was. I wanna hold him in my arms. I wanna rub my fingers over his cheeks, drying his tears. I wanna open the blinds and let the sunlight in. I want to hold him close and tell him how much I love him. But instead I need to talk. I deserve to know why.

"What are you doing here Cameron?" he asks. I look around the apartment. I finally look back at him and lock our eyes. He didn't ask it rudely. He said it like it was a nice surprise that I was here.

"I came to talk to you." I see his nose sniffle.

"Cameron." he says crying. "I know you don't love me. Please can you just stop rubbing it in my face. I didn't wanna hurt you Cameron. I didn't mean to hurt you. I can barely handle waking up in the morning without you, let alone being criticized by you." He turns around to walk back into the bedroom. I grab his wrist, turning him around.

"Why would you think I don't love you? If anything I think I should be the one that thinks you don't love me. You're the one that cheated Shawn." I say loudly. He laughs as tears roll down his face.

"You don't understand." he says laughing as tears strolled down his face. What the hell?

"I don't understand Shawn? What the hell could you possibly mean I don't understand? What's there to understand? You lied to me. You cheated on me. You betrayed me." He just laughs, looking up at the ceiling in response.

"Just go Cameron." he says, bring his hand up to dry he tears.

"No Shawn. I refuse to leave. I'm done wallowing in pain over you. I deserve to know why. I deserve to know how. I deserve a reason."

"Go Cameron! Just go, please!" he yells. He truly looks aggravated. He also looks done; as if his soul wasn't even in his body.

"Shawn..... Shawn." I say grabbing his wrist and holding them in front of me. I needed him to get a hold of himself. "Look at me." I say loudly. "I came all the way here and God knows it took all the strength in my body to face you. I want to know why you cheated on me. I wanna know what I did." I let go of his arms and point at my chest. "I want to know why I wasn't good enough for you. Cause God damnit Shawn you were always enough for me. Always!" I yell. Tears are now pouring out of my eyes. Calm down Cameron. You're about to snap. "Now!" I yell. He looks towards the closed windows, holding back his tears.

"I didn't cheat on you Cameron." He says, smiling crazily towards the windows. What? Why is he trying to lie to me now? I go to ask a question but he keeps talking. "One night when I was on tour my parents called me."

"Why'd they call you?" I ask coldly. We both hated his parents.

"That night, I got the news that my dad had had a heart attack." What the hell?

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

"I called you a couple of times and you didn't answer the phone, so I just laid in bed crying. Nevada was there at my hotel and found me crying. I told her everything. She comforted me." I hated that girl. I always knew she was bad news. "And then she left and I was already dealing with all the stress about being away from you for so long and this news about my dad just made it all so much worse. I felt like my head was going to explode. Well she went and bought us some alcohol and when she came back I drank to get my mind off of everything." Here it goes. I don't know why he told me he didn't cheat. He's about to tell me how he cheated. "I guess we just had a lot of fun and talked and played games. We played truth or dare and I guess her and I shared some drunk kisses. I don't even remember them." I can tell this is difficult for Shawn to say. Believe me, it's going to be more difficult for me to hear. "And then I guess one of my dares was to strip down naked because we were looking up dares online. So I did the dare and then I passed out on the couch bed and so did Nevada. And when I woke up in the morning I was completely naked." He let's out some tears. "So when I woke up in the morning I just assumed that we had hooked up." Wait a minute. "So then I didn't talk to her about it because I was scared she was going to spread lies and bad things about me in the news and all over social media. So I never brought it up to her until a few days ago and she told me that we never hooked up. It even turns out she's had a boyfriend for like a year now." I just stand there looking at Shawn. He's done his best keeping his tears back. Why hasn't he explained all this to me earlier? Is he telling me the truth? How could I possibly know?

"Why didn't you tell me all of this?" I asked. I feel the need to cry. He sounded like he was telling me the truth. Could he have been?

"Because Cameron, you told me that if I really loved you that I should just stay out of your life. So I have." He starts crying. "But I've missed you so much baby." He starts bawling. "I've miss you so damn badly." he says, bringing his hands up to his face. I walk towards him opening my arms. I wrap my arms around his torso.

"I've missed you too baby boy." I say crying. He smiles and wraps his arms around me. He lays his head in the crook of my neck. He just stands here and cries.

"I'm so sorry Cameron. I didn't mean to be a shitty husband. I was trying my best and I messed up."

"Baby you aren't a shitty husband." I say trying to comfort him.

"Yes I am. I made you feel so bad about yourself." He's really crying now. Not just normal crying, he's experiencing crying where it hurts to breathe type of crying. "I made you feel so worthless and I didn't mean to. I just made a mistake." I rub his back and hold him in my arms.

"I shouldn't have left you Shawn. I never wanted to. I was just so mad and confused. I should have stayed and talked things out. And now that I know the truth, you didn't really do anything that bad. I thought you cheated on me. You just shared a few drunken kisses, and you don't even remember them." I say this truthfully. I would so much rather him have kissed Nevada then had sex with her. I have noticed however that this is the second time he's drunk kissed someone.

"Why do you believe me?" he asks crying.

"Because Shawn, even when you cheated on me you told me the truth. And I can tell by your face. I've never seen you look so hollow inside."

"I'm just such a horrible person Cameron. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. I just did and if I could leave you I would but I can't. I'm sorry if I'm ugly or if I'm a bad person." I push him away from the hug holding onto his biceps.

"Look at me Shawn." He tries catching his breath and calming down so he can look me in the eyes. "Look at me." I say. He makes eye contact, still crying. "You are the most beautiful human being that I've ever seen in my entire life. You are the absolute love of my life and no one makes me happier than you do." He's crying harder now.

"But babe it's the fact that I could of. I was this close to having sex with another person." He says, putting two fingers up, with less than an inch of space between them. "I almost betrayed you and I almost betrayed us." I've never seen Shawn cry so much. I pull him close to me again, rocking us back and forth.

"Shhh. Baby shhhhh." I walk us into the bedroom, to our bed and lay us down. I slide off my backpack, and I pull him close to my body. We lay down together, getting comfortable.  I've missed being so close to him; his body pressed up against mine. It feels so right. "Shawny, stop crying baby."

"I can't. You don't love me anymore. I've ruined us." Aww. I've stopped crying now. It's as if the pain I felt before is gone. I have my Shawn back in my arms again.

"Shawn yes I do. I love you more than anything else in this world. I never stopped loving you baby You haven't ruined anything. If I would have been there for you like I promised I always would be, then this would have never happened." I hold him close to my body. His skin feels so warm to my hands. I get a closer examination of the sweatpants he's wearing. "You know you're wearing my sweatpants right baby?" I say smiling. I must have forgotten them when I got all my stuff.

"They're the only part of you I had left." he says still crying.

"Aww. Baby that's so adorable." I say. I rub my hand on his back. "Shhhh. Stop that crying." I say.

"I'm sorry. I just can't help it. I've cried so much too. I just never imagined that I'd be this close with you again."

"Well you are baby boy. And you don't have to worry. Because I'm never leaving your side again."

"But Cameron you said you didn't wanna get married again."

"Shawn I haven't taken off my wedding ring since the day you put it on my finger. Even when I thought you cheated on me I kept it on." I believe everything Shawn has told me. I don't have to question it. Even when he cheated on me he was honest. And with the emotions he's portraying I definitely believe him. I lean over and kiss his forehead. "I've missed you so fucking badly baby boy." I say sweetly. I pull him closer to me, our entire bodies touching.

"I love you Cameron. I love you so damn badly." he says, still crying.

"I love you too Shawny." I whisper in his ear. "I love you so damn much." I kiss his ear, and nibble on it, earning a small giggle from him.

"Stop it." he says cutely.

"Oh so you don't want me to do this?" I start moving my fingers all across his sides, tickling him so good. He instantly starts laughing.

"Baby...." he laughs. "Baby stop. Seriously come on." He laughs some more. I finally stop.

"Are you done crying now?" I ask cutely. I hear him suck the snot in his nose.

"I don't know." he says. "I just feel like I've ruined us."

"Shawn you haven't ruined anything. And look at me, if I hadn't of left you then you would have never almost cheated. I'm never leaving you for anything again. You're more important than any movie or job could ever be."

"And you're more important than any stupid tour is. I even cancelled my last tour date just to come home to you."

"Awww. Did you really baby?" I ask him.

"I told everyone that my husband was more important than all the tours in the world and that if they didn't agree that they could just go fuck themselves." Aww.

"Shawn you didn't have to do that."

"When I found out that I didn't actually hook up with Nevada I flew home instantly to tell you. But all I found was your note." he says sadly.

"In my defense I thought you had cheated on me. I only wrote that because I thought you didn't love me anymore. I didn't mean any of it."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise baby." I say, kissing his forehead. "Now look up. I wanna kiss those sexy lips of yours." I say smiling. He looks up smiling and blushing. I connect our lips, a surge of energy running through my spine. Hot damn have I missed this boy. I feel his tongue press against mine as we fight for dominance. I win, exploring the inside of his mouth like I'd never been here. Eventually his tongue pushes inside my mouth, moving around on my teeth and gums. I lean my forehead on his. "I've missed this Shawny."

"I've missed us." he says in return. "I never feel more like myself than when I am with you." I kiss him again. I pull away and get down on my knees on the floor.

"Come here." I say. He moves closer to me, sitting up and swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asks. I grab his hands and hold them in mine.

"Shawn Peter Raul Mendes, would you do me the honors of being my husband again?" I say smiling. He makes a cute face and starts crying again. He slides down off the bed, right in front of me. He connects our lips, holding onto the back of my neck.

"Yes." he say into the kiss. "Yes yes yes yes yes." he says, each time pecking a kiss on my lips.

"I love you so much." I say pulling him into a hug on the floor. "And I can't wait to be married to you again." I look at his adorable smile as he looks at his ring. This is what I've been missing. I've been missing my Shawny. Call me stupid or foolish if you want but I honestly think I would have forgiven Shawn for cheating. I may not have wanted to, but I think I would have. I love him more than anything in this Earth, and in this moment I've realized that no matter what mistakes he makes or I make, that I'm never going to leave him. I could never live without the other half of my soul. I lift him up, along with myself and lay us back down on the bed.

"We can just lay here if you want." Shawn offers.

"I would love to." I say smiling. "It's exactly what I was thinking." I pull him close to my body.

"Can I ask you a question." he says. This causes my heart to beat quickly.

"Sure." I say.

"Can you take your shirt off?" Oh my God Shawn. I laugh and sit up, taking off my shirt.

"Happy?" I ask.

"Very." he says. I laugh and pull him close, kissing his lips.

"We have to clean up this apartment tomorrow." I say laughing.

"Yah I know." he says embarrassed. I get close to his ear.

"And I still have something to show you."

"What is it?" he asks excited. Now call me weird if you want but I've been carrying this around with me for three months now. I probably need to buy a new one. I reach into the bag I brought with me here. I turn around to see a curious looking Shawn. My hand wraps around the container of chocolate icing and I pull it out of my bag. Shawn focuses on the container and lays down laughing in the bed. I start laughing too, as I walk over setting it on the beside table.

"Not tonight." I say cutely. "But soon." He just looks at me smiling.

"Well I can't wait."