There was a soft breeze in the air, bringing the smell of freshly cut grass and flowers to my nose. I sat down in the grass and rested the bouquet of white lilies on top of the gravestone before inching back.

Even before I opened my mouth, tears threatened to spill over my eyes. No matter how many times I came here, I always ended up sobbing.

"Hi, Justin, it's me again. So much has happened, Lucas is getting married, can you believe that? You would've liked Katelyn."

The first string of tears dripped down my face before dropping on my folded hands in my lap. Tree branches above me rustled in the wind and birds chirped in them.

"I still miss you. A lot." I sniffle when my nose clogged up, "You would think that I would be doing better after six years but I'm not. Mom and dad aren't really helping, you know?"

I hugged my arms around my waist to curb the growing ache there and a choked sob escaped my lips. "Sometimes, I feel like I can't do it. Like it's just too much."

I looked away from the gravestone because even if Justin wasn't really there, I still couldn't face him. "And Liam, I can't get through to him. He's pushing everyone away because of his guilt."

That same pain that I've carried around for so long began to burn in my chest. I was beyond screaming profanities at the sky for how unfair life was, I was beyond begging and pleading for a redo. Now there was only the emptiness, the void that could never be filled.

The pain, however, never relented. No matter how many brief periods of joy I had there, would always be this pain that kept me from immersing myself fully in life. 

I don't fight the tears anymore, shutting my eyes, I allow the grief to plow over me as it always does. I don't know how long I sat there with tears running down my face but when they finally subsided my eyes felt raw and my nose stuffed.

Then I roughly rubbed the tears away and stood up. I touched my fingers to my lips before placing them on the gravestone. "I love you, Justin."

The walk back to my car was arduous, having spent the better part of two hours on my knees in the dirt they felt like lead. But I trailed the short distance without complaint because I still could.

Silver Point gleamed brightly on the drive back home. The pretty facade held some of the darkest secrets I've ever come across. The people smiled at you but were sharpening their teeth behind your back. It wasn't all bad, my best friends and my chosen family lived here, but after Justin's death, I've never felt like I belonged anymore.

My mom and dad's descent from their pedestals were a constant point of gossip. The drinking, the affairs, the prescription drugs my mom swallowed like candy. They were falling apart and people were discussing them openly.

I never lied when I spoke to Justin but I've never admitted these things out loud before his grave. It didn't feel right and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't fix things.

Gravel crunched under the tires as I drove into the long driveway and around the world, he ostentatious fountain that stood in front of the enormous house. I've never liked the gaudy decor my father insisted on but then again what I thought never mattered to him.

When I got out of my car, I walked into the house and straight to my dad's study. He was sitting at the mahogany desk, the shirt that was crips that morning now rumpled and missing a few buttons. The lipstick on the collar gave him away.

As I got closer the stench of cheap perfume, booze, and sex burned down my nose. But it was the big purple hickey on his neck that flared my rage. My face contorted into a sneer and I folded my arms across my chest.

He finally looked at me matching my sneer with one of his own, "I take it you went today."

As if he didn't know. I always went and they stayed, cocooning themselves in this lie they lived.

Bartland Williams, ladies, and gentlemen.

I shook my head and pointed an accusatory finger at his neck, "Cover that up and take a shower before mom sees you. You reek of that whore."

He slammed both hands down on the desk and papers fluttered to the floor, "You don't get to talk to me like that! I'm still your father!"

I didn't flinch or bat an eye, very much used to his erratic outbursts. I simply turned and walked to the door. Then I looked over my shoulder, "You haven't been my father for a very long time. Now get yourself cleaned up."

I shut the door just as glass shattered on the other side. Probably his brandy glass. Wouldn't be the first time he threw something in my direction but it didn't faze me anymore.

Maria walked around the corner and sighed, "he'll never learn, that man."

I placed my index finger on my lips then pointed to the door. Maria nodded her head once and I smiled.

"How is my mom, Maria?" I asked.

Maria's face fell and she cast her eyes away from me, "She's sleeping now. She still calls for him in her sleep you know."

I clenched my jaw and shot a soured look over my shoulder at the closed door of dad's office. He was doing this to her.

Then I left Maria and strode to my mom's room. The curtains were shut but they still let in a dulled light. A half-empty bottle of whiskey and a bottle of pills stood on the nightstand next to my mom's sleeping form. 

I may have had no sympathy for my dad but my heart ached at the sight of my mother. She lost her child, something no parent should suffer and his cheating scandals didn't help matters.

I left her to sleep but took the whiskey bottle and the pills with me. Her grief had turned into depression and she turned to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain. The time she spent awake was never sober.

I went to my room after I cleaned mom's room. I needed rest for the engagement party the next day and I needed to relax before I could sleep.

So I grabbed a glass of white wine and ran the tub to brim with water and bubbles. Pretty soon, I was lounging in the hot water, taking sips of wine and the tension coiled around my muscles started to lessen.

Then my mind started to drift to the key few places I kept close to my heart. And just like that Michael Davis invaded my thoughts again, as he had since our only night together.

I swallowed the remained of my wine down and stood up before grabbing the towel and wrapping it around my body. The heat of the water was starting to mess with my head.

After getting dressed and feeling much better than that morning, I crawled into bed. I may have been able to lock Michael put of my head during my waking hours, but I couldn't stop him from haunting my dreams. 

No, I wouldn't soon forget Michael Davis, he wouldn't let me. 

Sunlight streamed through the crack in the curtain, flowing over the bed and burning into my eyes. It forced me to wake up and face yet another day. Each day, no matter how much time has passed, I wake with that same pang in my chest. That same realization that Justin was gone. That feeling as becoming a part of me. 

The alarm on my phone blares from the bedside table, forcing me to roll over and tap the screen repetitively. It was seven in the morning and I had to be at Katelyn's house early to set up for the engagement party. 

I groan and throw the covers back, before stepping out and walking to the closet. Then, I obsess over what to wear. One whole year passed since the last time I saw Michael, and even if I knew I shouldn't care, I still did. 

Of all the things stuck in my head, why did it have to be the memory of my one night with Micheal, that haunted me the most?  I shook my head and pulled out the purple strapless dress I bought the week before. When I bought it, I didn't think about Micheal, or how he would look at me if I wear it, and now, that's all my mind appeared to focus on. 

You are Chloe Williams, pull yourself together!

Like a petulant child, I stomped my foot and marched to the bathroom. After getting dressed and applying makeup, I walked down the hall to my mom's room. It always amazed me how sterile our home looked. The walls were white, the furniture dark. Light flooded everything from the floor to ceiling windows, their dark curtains tied back with white lace. 

A spiral staircase connected the four floors, it's black coils were made of steel, curling like broken fingers. As a child, the sight used to scare me, as an adult, I felt like those were my shackles.

Mom's bedroom door was open just a slither, I could hear her rummaging around the room. Pushing the door open, I stepped into the room and sucked in a ragged breath.

My mom was throwing her sheets around the room, her eyes were wild and frantic. "Where are they?"

"Mom?" I said treading further into the room.

Her head snapped in my direction, eyes flashing, "Where are they, I put them here and now they're gone." She said pointing a shaky finger to the bedside table.

"Are you talking about the pills? I took them."

My mom rushed me, pushing roughly against my shoulder and I had to brace myself before I fell. She gripped my shoulder, fingers digging into my skin hard enough to leave a bruise. "Why? Why would you take them?" She screamed.

I felt the first rush of tears sting my eyes, "Mom, they're not good for you."

She shoved me away from her and took several strides away from me. "I need them! They keep the shadows away."

My arms wrapped around my body to keep the cold out, but I knew what I was feeling was on the inside, and no amount of warmth could chase the chill. "Mom, you need help. The pills are just making you sick."

"No!"

She dropped to the floor, before weeping. I tried to move towards her but her cries only became louder. Then those pesky tears that I've been keeping back slipped past my lids and down my cheeks. Her howls cut into my heart, slicing open the oldest wounds until they bled through whatever scabs remained.

Maria came flying into the room before kneeling at my mom's side. "Alice, why don't we get you to bed."

"She took them. She took them." My mom continued to cry on a loop, "they're taking him from me again, Maria."

Mom's face was soaked in tears and her eyes manic. I've always known she needed help but if she was this far gone without the pills, then she needed more help than I thought. I turned and rushed out of the room, my heart breaking with every step. It killed me to see her this way.

Half an hour later, after reapplying my makeup and hiding my tears, I drove to Katelyn's house. I didn't feel like going but if I stayed at home I would have to come up with a really good excuse and I hated lying to my friends.

When I pulled into Katelyn's driveway, I saw multiple cars parked in her new decked out yard. All courtesy of her fiancee, Lucas. The cars also meant that I was late.

"Shit!"

I threw the door open and ran up the cobblestone steps, before pulling open the front door. I expected to see Lucas, Katelyn, or Liam, but no. Michael freaking Davis stood in the foyer and turned just as I barreled through the front door.

His hair was the same oak color it had been before, neatly come away from his face, accentuating the hard contours of his face. Dark lashes framed his light gray eyes, that looked like molten pits of silver.

But it was his quiet, calm demeanor that drew me to him, like a moth to an inferno. Memories assaulted me from my own mind, reminding me how is touch felt, what his mouth tasted like, and how my name sounded coming from his lips.

"Chloe." He said.

Fire ignited in my veins, burning away that bitter darkness and made me yearn for something more. For him. I couldn't allow this to happen again. Looking at Michael, standing before me, I knew I was in a shit ton of trouble.