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Unbolling Stress



September 2019

Jimin knew how stressed Namjoon was the night before he talked to him, who was stressing about work even though they were supposed to be on holiday.

Jimin decided that once he was finished horseback riding with Taehyung, he would check on Hyung.

Namjoon was composing the new album's lyrics back at the camp in the meantime.

He didn't know what was wrong with him, but the more he wanted to write, the more he couldn't. This had him rubbing his hand through his hair continuously because the stress was getting to him.

At some point, he managed to get some lyrics down but stopped to give himself a snack break.

Jimin decided to return to the campervan to see how Namjoon was doing an hour later.

He let himself in and saw what Namjoon was writing.

He said nothing and just sat down and watched Namjoon work.

A few minutes later, Namjoon looked up and saw Jimin.

"Why are you back, Jimin?" His voice wavered as he asked.

"Hyung, I was just worried about you." Jimin smiled.

"Oh, okay," said Namjoon, who went back to work.

Jimin watched Namjoon work for an hour and was about to doze off when he heard Namjoon's breathing becoming heavy.

Namjoon was rubbing his eyes continuously and shaking.

"Hey, Hyung, it's okay," he said while grabbing hold of Namjoon's hands so he didn't hurt himself.

Jimin decided to let go of Namjoon's hands slowly, to turn all the cameras off in the campervan, and to close the curtains so the camera crew couldn't film them.

After doing this, Jimin noticed that Namjoon had his head on the table and was crying softly. It was so quiet that the only way he knew was that his shoulders were shaking slightly.

Jimin signed and leaned over the table to hold one of Namjoon's hands. "Hyung, it's okay," he said again.

Namjoon wiped his face with his sleeve and turned to Jimin. With his voice still filled with tears, he said softly, "I'm sorry about this, Jimin."

"It's okay, Hyung. I know how stressed you've been," said Jimin with a reassuring hand rub to Namjoon.

"To be honest, I'm surprised you've not cracked earlier," he said.

Namjoon gave a quiet laugh. He remarked, "I'm the leader; I can't allow myself to have a stupid breakdown due to stress."

"Hyung, you may be in charge, but you're also a human being; you can have emotional breakdowns occasionally," he said quietly.

Namjoon smiled and said," Thank you, Jimin."

"You're welcome, Hyung." Jimin smiled.

Namjoon put his head on the table again and started to cry softly. Jimin didn't

say anything, he just ruffled Hyung's hair softly and waited until Namjoon wasn't crying anymore.

At some point, Namjoon seemed to have gone to sleep, and Jimin smiled. Suddenly, the door opened, and the other members walked in.

"Jimin shi, this is where you got to," said Jungkook.

"Shh Namjoon Hyung is having a nap," Jimin whispered, putting his finger to his lips.

The other members looked at Namjoon, who was sleeping with his head on the table.

Yoongi saw the redness in Namjoon's eyes. "Chim, did he cry?" he asked, caressing Namjoon's hair.

Jimin gave a nod. He replied to Yoongi, who agreed, "A little bit; he wasn't really upset, just stressed; his eyes are mostly red from rubbing then."

"Poor Joon is not getting a break," said Yoongi with a sad smile.

"True, Namjoon's under more stress here than he usually is," said Hoseok.

"Well, we'll just make sure he spends the day with us tomorrow," said Seokjin.

"I hope it works. Namjoonie Hyung deserves a break just as much as you," Taehyung said with a pout.

Namjoon suddenly opened his eyes and smiled when he saw his members.

"Hi," he said.

Yoongi said, "Hello, Joonie, how are you doing?" with a gummy smile.

"I'm okay, Hyung; thank you," he said with a smile.

Namjoon turned to face Jimin. With a smile that revealed his dimples, he continued, "Chim's been taking care of me."

"Oh, so cute," said Hoseok while trying to poke Namjoon's dimple.

With a silly, childlike voice, Namjoon responded, "No, it's mind."

"Well, but we want them," expressed Seokjin as he reached for Namjoon's dimples, to which Namjoon giggled and knocked his hand away.

"No, it's mind, guys; you can't have them," he said.

This caused a fake crying drama between his Hyungs, which made him and the Maknaes laugh.

Stop, Hyungs. He laughed behind his hands and said, "I'm sorry, but I can't take them off; they're stuck here."

Yoongi gave him a head kiss while laughing.

He responded, "You're just too cute, Joonie," and was taken aback when Namjoon hugged him.

With a smile, he said, "I love you, Hyung."

Yoongi smiled. "I love you two, Joonie," he said.

"Hey," said the members.

He moaned, "Oh, you guys know I love you two," which made his group chuckle.

Namjoon grinned as Hyung embraced him. He would not have to worry about stress as long as he had his members.

And he would try to think about what Jimin said.

So when it was the last day of the Speak Yourself Tour in Seoul,.

And while he tried to stay composed, when he felt the first tear escape his eyes, he knew that it was pointless.

He stayed pretty calm even though he was crying during his speech, but just after the lights went off and the members all gathered to hug him, he lost it.

He can't remember much, apart from throughout the whole song; he was a mess.

Even though he felt highly embarrassed about crying his eyes out in front of his members and the Army while they were watching the fireworks, he remembered what Jimin said: "You might be the leader, but you're allowed to break down once in a while."

He smiled when he thought about it.

He was the leader, but just this once, he felt okay with his breakdown.

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