They say look at the moon and the stars at night if you're ever afraid of the dark.

But what if there's no moon or stars to look at?

Then on the lights, they say, find some source of light or just hide under the blankets.

But I don't have any of those things.

I mean I used to but...not anymore.

I did hurtful things to people, criticised them without knowing I did. I tried to apologize, but human emotions aren't toys.

They can't be repaired.

Sure, toys break all the time, and maybe with some glue, some tape, they can be fixed again. But even fixed toys leave scars. There's still that thin line where the toy broke, even if it's just a fracture.

But like I said, human emotions aren't toys. And they can't be fixed with glue or tape. Hell, you can't even see emotions when the person isn't displaying it on their faces. Maybe that's why I hurt them without knowing, because they didn't show their emotion. Sadness or anger, they never told me anything, they just stopped speaking to me and left me alone.

All alone.

I'm left in the darkness, as dark as the night. And there's no light to guide me because no one loves me anymore, I don't even love myself anymore.

Now people in my life come and go very quickly, as quick as shooting stars that soar past the earth on rare occasions. That's why the people that are willing to even speak to me only appear on rare, very rare, times.

I wish people would talk to me more, I just want a friend. A friend.

But I get why people don't want to be my friend. I understand now.

I didn't last time, and I hurt more people...gosh I'm so stupid. So tactless. So...

I just want someone to tell me that they'll sit with me in the dark when I can't find the brightness, when I'm hopeless. Actually I always feel hopeless nowadays.

I feel like everywhere I go, people are constantly whispering about me behind my back, so I always look back, just to be sure no one really is. And because of that I look even weirder, looking behind my back every few seconds.

Gosh-

I-I don't even know if my life is worth living anymore.

I mean, I hurt so many people, and I never paid for it. Don't people like me end up in jail?

I guess not, seeing I'm still here.

I wish I lived in a book, so I could delete what happened in the past and replace it with good moments, moments where I didn't hurt anyone's feelings. Moments where I didn't think of emotions as toys.

I never meant to play with anyone's feelings, I swear.

I would never, I'm not evil.

But somehow the last person I met told me to push off and hope that they said they hoped to never see me again in their life.

Is that what everyone thinks?

Am I really so horrible?-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE I DONT WANT TO LIVE KNOWING THAT PEOPLE WOULD ALWAYS REJECT AND IGNORE ME AND HOPES THEY NEVER SEE ME AGAIN! I WANT PEOPLE THAT LIKE ME FOR WHO I REALLY AM, I WANT THEM TO SAY 'See you tomorrow' TO ME. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST...

They all don't notice me pain, my sadness, my tears....

But they notice my mistakes.

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Honestly...I sometimes feel like that. But not as worse. This was mainly inspired by what Luz said to the Collector in the owl house. In the last ep, if anyone remembers TT

Hope you continue to read on!

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