She wasn't sure how long she spent stumbling around the rubble of what had once been a town, but it was quite a long time. When she blinked, coming to the realization that she no longer knew where she was, it was nightfall. Hours upon hours had passed since Natsu had left her there, and she was alone to deal with the cold of the night.

She hugged the jacket he'd left her around her tighter, one hand remaining fisted in the scaly scarf. "Natsu," Lucy breathed, tears rising to her eyes. She hadn't had the pain. So he was still alive...right? He had to be...he'd promised he'd find her...

Until then, until she either had an attack or he found her, she had to keep going. As much as she hated the thought of it, she had to stay alive. Shivering, the celestial mage picked her way through the rubble, looking for a decent place of shelter. First things first: she needed food, some place to hide for the night, and firewood. Luckily, she had the flint and steel she'd used to make fire for Natsu...perhaps it would even attract him back to where she was...

Lucy took a deep breath, letting her brown eyes search the area around her. She wasn't alone, she told herself as the silence pressed in. Natsu was still alive out there. She just had to stay alive until he could find her.

There!

She climbed along some rocks that had once belonged to some building or another, smiling smugly to herself as she made her way over to the untouched house. She inspected the door, then ducked inside, closing and locking it behind her before surveying where she was.

It had once belonged to a family, that much was obvious. There were children's toys littering the ground, and an untouched cup of old - disgusting - coffee on the dining table. Lucy wrinkled her nose at the smell of rotting food, but ignored it. At least she would have shelter from the biting winter winds tonight.

She found the fireplace quickly and lit it, working silently but surely, careful not to light the rest of the building on fire in the process. She set the flint and steel aside with a gentle hand, sweeping her dirtied hair from her face and biting her lip. It was warm and cozy within moments of the fire being lit, but it felt so lonely...

Shrugging the jacket off but leaving her scarf on, Lucy decided to investigate and explore the house. She started with the kitchen, but quickly left it when the rotting smell overpowered her. Closing the door behind her, she decided against going into that room in particular ever again...maybe she could make a home out of this place for the time being?

The next room she explored was a child's bedroom. The old occupant couldn't have been more than a few years old at the most, and had obviously been a boy if the colors and toys were anything to go by...not that little girls couldn't enjoy dinosaurs and action figures, but the clothes confirmed it. A thin layer of dust coated just about everything, including the small bed that the boy had probably once slept in.

Next was the parents' bathroom. She hadn't bothered entering the one closest to the living room she'd set up camp in, as it had smelled absolutely terrible, even with the door firmly shut. She stepped inside, grimacing at the shattered mirror. She hesitantly tested the sink faucet, and was only slightly disappointed when the water didn't turn on. The bathtub was the same.

Finally, Lucy headed into the parents' bedroom. She smiled faintly when she saw it, taking in the cleanliness - other than dust, of course. The mother or father would have been a clean freak if the orderly clothing hanging in the open closet was anything to go by. The bed was large and comfy looking, and just for a brief moment, Lucy considered sleeping in it. But then she decided against the idea. She didn't want to spend the night in a bed that had once belonged to people that were now dead.

And then she stopped in front of a body-length mirror that showed her her entire body. Lucy stared at her reflection, barely recognizing the haunted girl that stared back at her. Her body was no longer anywhere near as soft as it had once been, now mostly made of the muscle that came alongside constant movement and the workouts Natsu had made her do daily alongside him. She was a bit on the thinner side from not eating as well as she should have, and she was dressed in dirtied clothes that were a bit worse for the wear. Her once shining golden hair had been reduced to hanging around her face in disgusting and tangled pieces, her brown eyes dull with loss and hopelessness, and her lips, once usually set in a large smile all of the time, had been pulled down by stress and grief.

She gave a bitter and hysterical giggle. "What would you think of me now, Mama?" she whispered, tears building in her eyes as she looked at her reflection. "I can't...I can't keep going forever...not if Natsu doesn't come back...he's the only thing keeping me going right now..." How long had it been since she'd talked with her mother? "Igneel ordered me to keep going..." That confrontation was still confusing! "Mavis said to remember what Loke said, but it hurts." So was that one! "But I can't! What am I supposed to do? It's not like it's going to fix this...everyone's still gone..."

Lucy broke down, dropping to her knees in front of that mirror, sobbing raggedly into her hands. "What am I supposed to do?!" she cried, burying her face in her lap.

She remained that way for a long, long time, refusing to move even as her muscles cramped, even as the room became pitch black with the night outside. She didn't want to move ever again...she wanted nothing more than to curl up in that spot and die alongside all of the friends and family she'd lost.

"C'mon, Luce."

Her head snapped up, her heart stopping at the familiar voice. "Natsu...?" she breathed, but there was nobody around her. She was alone. "Great," she laughed bitterly, shaking her head and wiping the tears from her face. "Now I'm hearing things...I'm going crazy! Ha!" She laughed harder, hysteria filling her.

"Don't give in now...not when you've made it so far...please," his voice whispered into her ears. She listened to it, closing her eyes, longing for the comfort he'd once provided her. "Don't give up. Just hold on a little longer, okay? It'll be over soon."

"Okay," she answered, her lips lifting into a very faint smile. "Okay, Natsu. I'll hold on...I'll keep trying."

Yep. She had lost her mind. But she didn't care anymore...she'd rather have the voices of her friends rather than be sane and not hear them at all. She would keep trying, even if it meant going on alone. But only for a little while, she told herself, only until she felt the inevitable pain that would come alongside Natsu's death or changing into one of the Marked.

She took a deep breath, then stood. "Let's see if there's something to eat in here," she whispered to herself. Then she would try and make herself remember what Loke had said. She had promised she'd try, so she would.

Lucy made her way into the disgusting kitchen, gagging and holding her breath as she rapidly dug through different cabinets until she found a few cans of non perishable things. She checked for some silverware, then took a decently clean fork and made her way back over to the living room to sit in front of the open fire she'd build in the dirty fireplace. She made herself comfortable in front of it, sighing as she carefully opened one of the cans, digging in with an eagerness she'd forgotten excited when she realized there were peaches inside.

"I'll save the rest for later," she told herself, though she gazed longingly at the other cans. She could remember all of the times she'd been able to eat without having to think of saving for her next meal...even when a certain fire mage had broken in and eaten everything in her fridge!

Making sure there was enough wood in the fireplace for the time being, Lucy took a deep breath, then closed her eyes, clearing her mind of everything but her concentration on trying to remember. Mavis had told her to remember Loke's words, that the curse was holding her back...was that what it was holding her back from? Remembering important bits?

Lucy grimaced. Her head was already beginning to hurt. But she needed to ignore it. She had to. It was a matter of life or death to her...for some reason, she didn't really understand it. A stab of pain had her gasping, but still, she struggled through her murky memories of the day Levy and Gajeel had died, the day she'd lost the last of her Celestial Spirits. She wanted to cry at that memory.

But no. She had to focus. She had to remember what Loke had said!

"C'mon," she groaned, pouting to herself. "What did he say?"

A stab of pain had her shaking her head, clutching it in her hands. It was too much...she couldn't keep trying now. She needed a break. Maybe she would do better concerning the matter later, after she'd taken a well-deserved rest...

Lucy hesitantly made her way over to the couch, eyeing it warily. It was probably more comfortable...and she doubted there were any bugs and such on it... So, with a heavy sigh, the celestial mage made herself at home on the couch, draping Natsu's jacket over her for a bit more warmth. She pillowed the scarf under her head, burying her face in it to try and get comfortable.

"It'll be better in the morning..." she told herself. The celestial mage forced herself to smile faintly, then let it drop.

"Who am I kidding?" Lucy whispered, closing her eyes.

Nothing would ever be okay. Never again would anything be even close to okay.

With those thoughts, Lucy fell asleep.

XxXx

A week later found a dull-eyed Lucy exiting a line of trees. She'd found a backpack at some point - she wasn't really sure where it came from, but it was useful, so she was glad she had it - and she'd stashed a small amount of food into it. Her back ached, and every now and then, the tired celestial mage would have to stop and rest, but she kept continuing, aiming for none other than Hargeon. Something told her that it was the place she needed to get to, and she was determined to reach it.

Not a single Marked One showed itself as she traveled. They seemed to have vanished off of the face of Fiore - not that she minded. She was grateful they stayed away from her. She wouldn't be able to fend off an entire pack of them if they attacked...not like Natsu could.

She had yet to have an attack, which gave her hope. Natsu was still alive and sane. He had yet to change into one of them. She just hoped she could find him before he went completely insane and she lost the last person she cared for.

She hugged herself, feeling a flash of grief. Everyone was gone...she was alone...why? Why couldn't she have joined them? She still could, she supposed, her eyes narrowing in thought. It wouldn't be that hard...

No, she scolded herself. Lucy shook her head to clear it. Natsu would be horrified...and he was still out there, alive! She couldn't just abandon him! She had to find him!

"C'mon, Lucy," she told herself, making herself smile. "You're a member of Fairy Tail! We don't give up just because there's...well, nothing." She shifted the backpack, letting a look of determination appear on her face. No. Fairy Tail mages didn't just give up. They kept going until they couldn't move.

So that's what she'd do.

Until she knew for a fact that she was the last one left.

Lucy paused to take a deep breath, looking over what was left of the place they'd lost more than one friend in: Hargeon. The last time she'd been here, Lyon, Juvia, Chelia, and Happy had died. This time, there was nobody left for her to lose. She surveyed the utterly demolished port, taking in the lack of boats along the docks, the empty destroyed streets, and the sheets of ice still left from when Juvia had flooded the entire area. Lucy shifted the backpack on her back again, nodding to herself.

"Natsu will be here," she murmured to herself. There was a reason she felt as if she had to come here, to this place...right? "Now I just have to set up a little base, and I can wait and see if he finds me..."

With that in mind, the celestial mage made her way into Hargeon. She easily navigated the destruction there, pretending she didn't see the dried blood that still dotted some walls and the cobblestone beneath the snow. She saw the remains of the restaurant she'd first treated Natsu and Happy in after they'd helped her escape the control of Bora's illegal spells, and she had to quickly look away, blinking away tears.

She wouldn't cry.

She couldn't.

"Natsu," she said softly, watching as her breath came in a small cloud of white that dissipated quickly. "Where are you? You said you'd come find me, and even with all of this snow, you're nose isn't that weak..."

And then, suddenly, she was on the ground, agonizing pain rippling through her. She gave a small shriek as her knees struck the ground with jarring impact that had her hissing in pain, and almost as violently as the pain, panic filled her.

"No," she whispered, then shrieked when pain lashed through her, making her tense as it filled her, stopping her heart in her chest and suffocating her. "N-no, he...he promised..." she wheezed hysterically.

This couldn't be happening.

And it didn't help that the pain she felt was worse than any other time. It was as if thousands of knives were stabbing her at the same time that she was drowning and something was tearing her apart piece by piece. It felt as if she was dying, dead, and had been dead for a while at the same time that she was more alive than ever.

There was only one person left to create such pain in her, and she knew exactly who she was losing. The thought had her screaming piercingly into her scarf, the very scarf he'd been wearing only just over a week before.

Natsu was gone.

Her Natsu had died, and was completely dead or replaced by some creature that held his body hostage.

Tears boiled over and streamed down her cheeks, leaving her a mess of a person that refused to get up from the snow. Even after the pain finally began to recede, she lay curled up in a ball in the snow, wishing that the Marked would come out and kill her.

What was the point of even trying now? Everyone was dead! She was the only one left, and she didn't want to be!
She rolled onto her back, staring up at the clouds that had filled the sky over the time she'd been traveling. Her brown eyes, once sparkling with determination and happiness as she celebrated a recent victory with her nakama, were blank, as if she was already dead.

Why was she still alive? she thought blankly, shaking her head slowly. It wasn't fair! She didn't want to live without them!

A hiss filled her ears, and Lucy shot upwards into a sitting position, her breath hitching. She knew that sound. How could she not after months of fleeing? The Marked had arrived...she was, after all, their last victim.

Lucy contemplated for a brief moment what she wanted to do. Should she flee and hide, try to keep herself alive like Natsu and everyone else would have told her to do? Or should she die and fight, going to join her nakama in death?

She didn't get the chance to decide.

Something threw itself out of the shadows at her, and Lucy gave a short little shrieked gasp of shock and surprise when she was sent flying. She slammed into a wall at full force, and the breath rushed out of her. Coughing and gasping, trying to catch her breath, she lifted her head, wincing and ignoring the trickle of blood that ran the back of her neck.

"No," she whimpered, her voice cracking.

So close.

They had been so close to each other, and she'd missed him only by minutes.

Before her stood what had once been Natsu Dragneel, Salamander and fire dragon slayer of the guild Fairy Tail. He still had his pink hair, but the rest of him was nearly unrecognizable. His eyes were that terrifying red-and-black mixture, his mouth spread in an unnatural way. The Marks criss-crossed across his flesh, and when he grinned an unnaturally wide grin in a mocking echo of his usual one, it showed already sharpened teeth.

"Natsu?" Even knowing he was gone didn't get rid of the hope she felt fill her.

Her answer came in the form of a heart-stopping snarl.

She took a deep breath, then slowly slid into the position he'd taught her. Her fists came up, one foot sliding back to give her a better sense of balance, and the golden light they'd figured out how to summon swirled around her. She didn't want to live, she told herself, but she wasn't going to go down without a fight. After all...none of the others had.

"Come at me," she said, forcing herself to smile cockily through her tears, which were slowing. Soon, she'd be joining her nakama...so there was no reason to cry. "I'm...I'm all fired up."

In response, flames lit along his - its, she told herself harshly - flesh.

She blinked. "...you're not supposed to be able to do that," she mumbled, "You really aren't supposed to be able to do that."

And then he lunged forward. Lucy ducked to avoid the first blow but was unable to avoid the second. His knee slammed into her gut and she coughed, dropping to the ground with a gasp. She rolled out of the way just in time to avoid a fist that was driven downward, the area she'd been in exploding in a mess of debris and flames.

He cackled as if it was the funniest thing in the world, shaking a fist as he straightened. Suddenly, he inhaled sharply.

"...shit," she rasped. She charged forward just as the Fire Dragon's Roar exploded in her direction, stumbling over her own feet in her rush to crash into him and stop the attack in its tracks. She hesitated before finally wheeling around, aiming to kick the creature that had once been the one she loved with a full fledged Lucy Kick, but he caught her foot, using the force she'd put into it to swing her around and throw her as if she was a sack of flour.

She went flying, rolling across the ground when she landed. She took a moment to gather her mind together, then scrambled to her feet, diving out of the way when he came after her again with a loud laugh, as if he was enjoying her struggle.

Lucy barreled towards him again, this time tricking him. She pretended to swing one way, then caught him by surprise by quickly switching, elbowing him and using her magic to drive the blow home. A sharp crack in his ribs told her she'd been successful, and she winced, making herself ignore the pink hair that brushed her face when he suddenly leaned forward and shoved her.

Lucy stumbled back, and scowled furiously when the scarf wrapped around her throat was suddenly caught in his fist. How the hell had Natsu fought with this thing?! She yelped as she was dragged forward. "Let go," she spat, kicking when he hauled her into the air, grinning again.

She went still when he replied in Natsu's voice, "Your turn, Lucy Heartfilia."

Her heart ached at his voice. "No," she retorted, but gave no struggle when he suddenly hurled her down onto the ground. She cried out in pain, then gasped when a foot slammed down on top of her chest. She heard the same snapping sound as when she'd managed to crack a few of his ribs, and pain exploded through her, almost as bad as the attacks she'd had. Coughing blood now and grimacing at the fact, she struggled to roll away, only for blow after blow to land on her.

It wasn't long before she was practically numb to the pain, her vision fading in and out. She was confident that the creature still kicking her body around like a ragdoll had broken every single bone in her body, but she could have cared less.

Her Natsu was dead, and the thing above her was only a mere copy.

Lucy's eyes snapped open.

No, she realized, her brow slowly furrowing. What was she doing?

The cackling above her stopped, and it was as if time slowed...no, it was like time had stopped. A giggle escaped her, blood bubbling at her lips as she grinned up at the creature above her. Its face was still twisted in that terrifyingly malicious smirk.

"Do not worry so much for Natsu Dragneel," Mavis had told her. "He is safer than you believe in the physical sense."

Of course he was, she realized, throwing her head back painfully and laughing, clutching her stomach with shaking arms as she did so, blood spattering the space around her and seeming to hang there as if frozen.

Natsu was fine.

There was no way in hell that her dragon slayer was dead and had turned into this. There was no way he could have even died. As if Natsu was capable of dying so easily! She laughed harder, shaking her head despite the pain that seemed to hesitate before filling her. No way!

She smirked up at the sky, her dark eyes sparkling for the first time in a long time. "Caught ya, you bastards," she mumbled, wiping a tear away from her eye. "I win. I get it now. I so get it. There's no way this," she threw her arms out, letting them fall to the ground with a sharp impact. "Is even close to being real." She giggled again, shaking her head once more. "Natsu? Dead? Hah! Same goes for the rest of Fairy Tail. We're Fairy Tail...we don't die so easily, you know."

Crack!

The world around her seemed to crack, as if she'd slammed her fist into a mirror.

"I'm not so stupid to not realize it before you won," she whispered, her hand rising to clench in Natsu's scarf. "My friends tried to help me. You couldn't completely stop them...you didn't anticipate Mavis...or the fact that when I summoned my Spirits, it was actually them and not some copy you created."

She remembered what Loke said. How could she have forgotten? It was so simple...he'd given her the answer so long ago! Why had it taken her this long to realize?

She staggered to her feet, her eyes sharp with anger and amusement. She nearly fell back down again, and gave a sharp gasp when pain shot through her leg, but she scoffed at it. This wasn't real pain, she told herself. It was an illusion, created by whatever bastard had done this to her.

The world continued to crack around her, this time beginning to dissolve. As she watched, the Natsu before her disappeared, becoming particles of dust that floated upwards.

"Nightmares are terrifying," she remembered Loke telling her, "But remember, Lucy."

She beamed up at the sky, which had been cloudy only moments before but was now full of clouds of the dust of the dissolving world around her.

"You can always choose to wake up."

"You lose," she whispered, watching as the ground beneath her feet began to disappear. Her fingers drifted across the scarf wrapped around her throat and she watched lovingly as it, too, disappeared. "Because I know now. And it's time to wake up."

With that statement, the world shattered, and she was suddenly falling. The pain in her body disappeared, the only thing left being an unending ache that came from her back. Lucy watched distantly as nothing sped past her, her blonde hair fluttering around her face as she fell. Her eyes closed for a brief moment, a soft smile crossing her face as she repeated, "I win."

Her heart, which had been thudding wildly in her chest, slowed until it came to a complete stop. But this time, she realized, her smile growing in a lazy way, it didn't hurt. She didn't mind that it had stopped. Because she'd defeated whatever had decided to plague her. She'd won.

"Lucy!"

Her eyes snapped open. She knew that voice. How could she forget the voices of any of her friends?

"Shit," it hissed, sounding panicked, "Lucy, can you hear me? Wake up! Open your eyes! Don't give up now, please! You're so...you're so close!"

It's okay, she tried to tell them, but nothing came out. I'm safe now...I won.

That wasn't good enough, apparently, however.

A roar filled her ears, and instinctively, Lucy slapped her hands over them. The sound scared her, and she found herself gasping for air as her heart began to pound away in her chest. Igneel, she recognized. The dragon was in this darkness, too? Why was he here...? Was this where she'd been the night Wendy had died? Was she going to go back to that beautiful field, where it had rained ash?

No.

Her guild hadn't been there. Not a single member of her nakama had been in that field, and she wasn't going to be there without them.

"Lucy," the voice whispered desperately. "Don't do this to us. Come on, you can do it, just hang in there a little longer...Wendy will be coming back in a few days, okay?"

Okay, she thought, smiling to herself. She was still falling, and she could feel the wind rushing past her. I'll wait.

And just as suddenly, she jerked to a halt. Pressure crushed in on her, and she winced at the pain of it. Startling cold rushed through her, and Lucy tilted her head. Where had it come from? It didn't matter, though, as only a moment later she was warm. A warm feeling spread through her and Lucy giggled almost drunkenly, closing her eyes and enjoying it.

"Can you hear me, Lucy? You can wake up now...please...open your eyes..."

The warmth went away and she mumbled her protest. She wanted it back...

A chuckle was heard, and breath washed over her face. "Open your eyes, Lucy. You can have it if you open your eyes."

What else was she supposed to do? Sit there in the darkness? She was setting to work on trying to pry her heavy eyes open when a voice startled her, the familiar screeching of the Marked filling her ears. Terror flooded her and she cringed away, her own lips uttering a shrill scream.

And then her eyes snapped open.