"It's not like that."

"I only have one question I need you to answer Avery. Why?" Silas asked. His tone cold, the anger from before reigned in.

"The truth is Silas, I never wanted to leave you or my sons," I admitted, softly. "I loved them. I didn't even really know them but I loved them with all my heart."

He gave me a disbelieving look. "You expect me to believe you? You don't leave the people you love. You abandoned them."

"I left...." I let out an emotional sigh. "I left to keep you safe."

"You protect me?" he scoffed.

His words hurt. But I understood he was lashing out at me. He felt betrayed and he needed to put me in my place. I got that even if it hurt.

"What would have happened if I had come back?" I dared to ask.

He frowned. "You would be back with me and our sons where you belonged."

I shook my head. "No. I would have come back. Talon and Thane would have gone to the Vampire council. I would have had to face them again and you remember what Rowan said would happen if he saw me again."

"I would not allow them to touch you." His whole body tense with unleashed rage.

"Could you have stopped them?" I asked softly, very aware of what it would have cost him to go up against the vampire council.

"I've protected you from them before, I would have done it again."

Our eyes held.

"But what would it have cost you?"

Silence. He knew as well as I did that it would not have been as easy. It would have put him in more danger with more enemies if he had tried to thwart the vampire council again to protect me.

"Don't you see. That's why I couldn't come back. I couldn't put you or my sons in danger." I took a deep breath.

The truth was I had wanted to come back even when I knew about the wife. It was only the fear of what he would be forced to do to protect me that had made me leave.

"You left because you wanted freedom," he argued, angrily.

"Don't you understand Silas. I will never truly be free."

It was the first time I had admitted that out loud. It hit me straight in the chest. The realization vibrated through me, leaving me with the hard reality that I could not outrun who I was.

"I could have put half a world between us and it would not change what I am."

He studied me with a frown.

"I'm a Sire. I can never be free of that." My shoulders slumped slightly when I felt the weight of my own words. "But I don't belong with you."

"You do. You're the mother of my sons."

I sighed. "The truth is there is no place for me. There never was. I don't have any standing, rights or anything like that. The truth is your kind do not view my kind as equals. We are your slaves to bear your children and fight your wars. Our lives have no value." I took a deep breath, not even sure I was ready for the truth of my words. "My place was only ever temporary, while I was useful. But once I had the babies and could no longer bear anymore, I had outlived my usefulness."

"That's not true." His jaw ticked, his eyes harsh.

He seemed resentful of the truth I was laying before him. He could deny it all he wanted but I was voicing the truth, whether he wanted to hear it or not.

"But it is. That's why you're expected to marry a Vampire. She will fill the role I only hold temporarily."

His features fierce. "That's not true."

"Then why did you get engaged?" I felt defeated. All my hopes of being more were realistically evaporating.

"You were dead."

"You really expected me to believe that you wouldn't have done that had I not died?"

"I had no use for a wife, if you were still alive."

His words wrapped around my heart and squeezed it. The affect was physical.

"Do you know what it's like to live in fear? Fear that you won't measure up. My kind are easily discarded, like our lives don't matter. While yours, even when they commit horrifying acts, are revered."

"It is not a perfect system."

I gave a hollowed laugh. "It's brutal and unfair." I had been at the receiving end more than a few times.

"Our laws are ways are centuries old. They will take time to change. If we are to survive, we have to," he revealed cryptically.

"I don't believe for a moment that Vampires are interested in change. Besides we don't have time Silas." I felt defeated, like there was only one outcome to this whole situation. "For all we know Talon and Thane could have gone to the vampire council already."

"There will be time to handle the council," he said. "What I need to understand is why a loyal friend would betray me by helping you escape?"

Jude. Silas was far too angry to see Jude's actions for what they were.

"He did it for you. He knew what lengths you would go to protect me from the council and what it would cost you."

"It was not his choice to make. It was mine." He sounded so much like a vampire in that moment. All powerful, like the world revolved entirely around him. "He made a decision that was not his to make."

"You have to understand-"

He cut me off with a wave of his hand. "It's easy to say that now when you're here standing in front of me. But if I hadn't searched for you, if I hadn't gone chasing a ghost. You wouldn't be here. We would still be mourning you and I would still have believed you died in childbirth, never knowing what Talon and Thane did to you."

It was that clear cut for him.

There was a knock. Ben opened it and announced Silas had a visitor.

"Show him in," Silas commanded.

I knew it was Jude before he even entered.

His eyes went to mine as stepped into the room. I wish I could have warned him but I was sure my expression was enough to reveal that something was wrong.

"Silas," Jude greeted before he turned to me. "Avery."

Silas folded his arms as he stood across from Jude.

"It is time for you to explain why you helped Avery escape."

There was no beating around the bush. He wanted answers not that I believed for a second any explanation would suffice.

Jude's gaze met mine.

"Avery and Archer remembered me," I explained. I hated how this was unravelling.

Jude was a good friend, he had done the right thing but Silas couldn't see it.

"I did what I believed was the best thing."

Silas' jaw twitched. "You made a decision that affected the lives of my sons without even considering the impact of losing their mother so young. I did everything I could to ensure her survival only for Talon to kidnap her under the guise of her dying during childbirth and then you...my friend helped Avery escape because you feared the repercussions I would face from the council."

"Faced with the same situation I would make the same choice," Jude stated, doing nothing to defend his actions.

I felt compelled to try and argue on his behalf. "Jude did it to protect you and our sons."

"I am strong enough to protect my family. I didn't need you to interfere."

His family. His sons. Did that include me? I had a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach that he might think of me as a part of his family, if only because I was the mother to his sons.

"We have been friends for a long time Silas. Have I ever done anything selfishly, for my own gain."

Silas shook his head.

"You might not agree with my reasons but you understand them, even if angers you."

"You know what burns my blood?" His eyes hard.

Silence.

"If I had not found that card in Avery's side table, where would she be now?"

Jude and I shared a look.

"She would be living a new life, without me or my sons. And that is not something I can forgive."