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【2】Beginning of something

Sitting at her balcony, Juhi thinks about Shashank nervously.

"Guru hain aap mere. Kya ek guru aur shishya ke beech aisa rishta hona jayaz hai?",

(You are my teacher. Is it valid for a teacher and a student to have a relationship such as this one?)

murmurs Juhi, in a dilemma.

"Kaise sochun apke barey mein uss tarah jis tarah apne shayad mere barey mein kabhi socha tha!",

(How can I think of you in the way in which may be you thought of me?)

she adds, her breath turning shallow.

"Kya hai ye? Shuruat ek naye rishte ki? Ya ant (end) uss rishte ki jo humare beech tha. Respect karti hun apki Sir, bohot respect.",

(What is this? Beginning of a new relationship? Or end of that relation that we had between us! I respect you Sir, I respect you a lot.)

she bites her nails in nervousness.

"Apne mujhe ye kaise kashmakash mein daal diya Dr. Shashank? Kya karun ab main? Jis insaan ke paas mere sarey problems ke solutions hote the humesha, kyun ussi ki wajah se meri zindagi ek aise morh par aa gayi hai jahan se mujhe apni raah nazar hi nahi aa rahi.",

(What kind of a situation have you put me in Dr. Shashank? What should I do now? The person who had solution to all of my problems, why he today he has become the reason for my life to come to a cross road? )

Juhi shakes her head in disappointment.

Tired of thinking and dealing with the situation all alone, she dials Shashank's landline number purposely, skipping to dial his mobile number.

The phone rings and rings and rings, with each ring Juhi's rate of heartbeat increases out of anticipation. This was an in the moment kind of decision for sure, she concludes, and not a great one - calling him. What does she want to talk to him about anyways? Is she ready to answer him once he answers her call?

When finally the call gets answered and Shashank speaks up greeting,

"Hello!"

Juhi goes numb. She fails to reply to that.

"Juhi!",

Shashank's address takes Juhi by surprise.

Her cheeks turn crimson red. How did he manage to understand that it is her?

Initially it was out of confusion of initiating a conversation that held Juhi back from speaking and now it is her state of shock that is prohibiting her from even merely greeting him with a 'hello'!

Had it been like earlier situation between them, Shashank would surely have teased her on catching her all tight lipped. But today when their equation is slightly messed up, oh! rather a lot messed up, Shashank tosses the idea of teasing her and rather gets anxious for listening to her.

Juhi keeps her brows knitted, her eyes cascaded in confusion.

"Chuppi situation ko aur uljhati hai Juhi. Baat karne se situation sulajhne ke aasar hote hain.",

(Silence tangles the situation further Juhi. Talking helps in untangling the situation.)

says Shashank.

Juhi finally speaks up, in a shaky voice,

"Ye baat samajhne mein apko itne saal kyun lag gaye Sir?"

(Why did it take you this long to learn this mere thing Sir?)

Shashank's heart skips a beat and his cheeks warm up.

"Juhi....",

Shashank begins to explain but gets intervened by Juhi,

"Mere liye ye bohot mushkil ho raha hai Sir!",

(This is becoming very difficult for me Sir!)

cries Juhi, helplessly.

Shashank shifts in his chair, all alert.

"Kya mushkil ho raha hai?",

(What is becoming difficult for you?)

he questions, puzzled.

"Reh-reh kar wo purani baatein; apke saath bitaye hue wo lamhe mere nazron ke samne aa rahe hain.",

(Now and again all those arguments and conversation we had; all the moments that I spent with you are flashing in front of my eyes.)

Juhi shares her situation with Shashank.

Shashank feels sorry for Juhi and guilty for making it obvious for Anjali to understand his feelings for Juhi.

"Nahi janta tha ke Anjali ko tum itni achi tarah yaad hogi Juhi.",

(I never knew that Anjali would remember you this perfectly.)

says Shashank, taking a deep breath, resting his head against the rear of his sofa.

That catches Juhi's attention.

"Ma...tlab?",

(What do you mean?)

she asks, puzzled and eager.

Lowering his eyes, Shashank continues and clears the wind of Juhi's anxiety,

"Tumne kabhi nahi pucha ke maine tumhe kyun hospital chor kar jane ko kaha!"

(You never asked why I asked you to leave the hospital!)

Juhi's rate of heartbeat increases as she realizes that she is getting closer to knowing the truth.

"Shayad tumhari ye baat, tumhara ye vishwas mujh par, mujhe tumhare saath bandh kar Sanjivani se mujhe le gaya Juhi!",

(May be this attitude of yours, your trust in me, tied me with you and took me along with you away from Sanjivani, Juhi!)

states Shashank, earnestly.

Shivers run down Juhi's spine on hearing that.

"Main physically to yahin tha par shayad mentally, emotionally tum mujhe apne saath le gayi thi Sanjivani se.",

(I was physically present here but may be mentally, emotionally you took me away with you from Sanjivani.)

says Shashank.

Juhi goes numb out of shock on the revelation.

She still doesn't get the clear picture of what exactly he is talking about. But she doesn't make any comment, knowing that her doing so would just drift him from the main point.

*****

"Dr. Anjali itni raat ko aap yahan?",

(Dr. Anjali how come you are here this late?)

asks Vardhaan, all serious, surprised on discovering her in the hospital.

Walking into her cabin, Vardhaan says,

"Apke cabin ki light jali hui dekhi to socha akar check karun."

(Saw the lights of your cabin turned on, thought of having a check.)

Anjali who is sitting and swinging her armchair out of anger, looks up towards Vardhaan.

"Yea..h... Hi Dr. Vardhaan.",

she wishes him, perplexed, avoiding to look towards him again.

Vardhaan gauges her reaction.

"Ahmm.... wo ghar mein mann nahi lag raha tha to... socha... yahan aa kar kuch pending kaam wrap kar lun.",

(Ahmm.... wasn't feeling like staying in home so.... thought... of coming here and wrap some of my pending works.)

says Anjali, looking towards the files on her desk.

"Par Dr. Anjali apko dekh kar aisa lag nahi raha ke aap ghar se aa rahi hain."

(But Dr. Anjali it doesn't seem that you are coming from home.)

His words skip Anjali's heartbeat.

"I mean you are looking gorgeous Anjali, as if kisi party se aa rahi ho tum.",

(I mean you are looking gorgeous Anjali, as if you are returning from some party.)

compliments Vardhaan, smiling, whilst taking his seat in front of Anjali.

Anjali smiles on receiving the compliment,

"Thank you Dr. Vardhaan."

"Chh... Anjali.... oh come on abhi hum off duty hain. At least tum ho if not me. So can we skip being formal? Please?",

(Chh... Anjali... oh come on we are off duty at the moment. At least you are off duty if not me. So can we skip being formal? Please?)

pleads Vardhaan.

That makes Anjali to smile. Which in return makes Vardhaan to smile.

Anjali nods whilst smiling and accepts,

"Okay! Vardhaan!"

Vardhaan laughs a little.

"So, kya hua?",

(So, what happened?)

asks Vardhaan, smiling.

Anjali gets surprised by his question and stares him, smiling in awkwardness. Lowering her eyes, she says,

"Kya hua? Kuch... kuch bhi to nahi.",

(What happened? Nothing.... nothing.)

she smiles.

"I know Anjali you have major issues with trusting people. Par yaar humein itna waqt ho gaya hai ek dusre ke saath Sanjivani mein kaam karte hue, ab to yakeen aa jana chahiye tumhe mujh par.",

(I know Anjali you have major issues with trusting people. But dear it's been so long that we are working together in Sanjivani, I guess you must have trust in me by now.)

smiles Vardhaan.

Anjali smiles looking towards Vardhaan.

"Dr. Vardhaan I don't believe in making friends.",

states Anjali, smiling.

That snatches the smile off Vardhaan's face. Skipping to staring him further, Anjali stares somewhere towards the floor and all seriously, regretfully says,

"Ek baar dost banne ki galti kar chuki hun. Vishwasghaat, dhokha, fareb, back biting - siwaye inn subke kuch nahi milta."

(I have once committed mistake in being friends with someone. All I received was betrayal!)

Her words alarm Vardhaan. And he wonders -

'Akhir kis dost ki baat kar rahi ho Anjali?'

(Which friend is this that Anjali is talking about?)

With an intention of knowing about it further, Vardhaan nudges her by his words -

"I... I am sorry to hear that Anjali. Kis... kis dost ne dhokha diya tumhe? Mujhe batao!"

(I... I am sorry to hear that Anjali. Which... Which friend have betrayed your trust? Tell me!)

Anjali goes on a deep thinking.

Vardhaan snaps his fingers in front of Anjali to bring out of her thoughts.

"Hun...!",

exclaims Anjali, upon getting out of her thoughts.

"Kahan kho gayi tum?",

(Where have you lost?)

asks Vardhaan, smiling.

"No! Nothing!",

Anjali quickly says, trying bring the discussion to an end.

"I must leave now Dr. Vardhaan. Dad... Dad mera intezaar kar rahe honge.",

(I must leave now Dr. Vardhaan. Dad... Dad must be waiting for me.)

says Anjali and leaves the cabin.

"Tumhari zindagi mein aisa konsa dost hai Anjali jiske barey mein mujhe nahi pata?",

(Who is this friend in your life Anjali whom I am unfamiliar with!)

Mummers Vardhaan, wondering, curious to know about this significant person in Anjali's life.

"Koi baat nahi main bohot jald hi pata laga lunga.",

(No worries I shall discover it pretty soon.)

says Vardhaan confidently, smirking.

Holding the left side of his forehead, his brows knit together, forehead bearing lines of tension, Vardhaan, with his eyes cascaded, says,

"Filhal ye pata laga lun ke mere sir mein itna dard kyun ho raha hai?"

(At the moment lemme discover why is my head aching so much?)

"Kya Vardhaan, kahin tum plan banate banate thak to nahi gaye?",

(What Vardhaan, is it that you are tired of making plans?)

jokes Vardhaan.

"Mr. Vardhaan kya maine apni gadi ki chaabi....",

(Mr. Vardhaan did I leave the keys of my car....)

Anjali pauses abruptly upon finding Vardhaan feeling unwell as she returns back in search of her car keys.

Vardhaan looks up towards Anjali, still his brows knit together.

"Mr. Vardhaan... are... are you alright?",

asks Anjali, concerned.

"Ye...s... yes...yes... Dr. Anjali.",

Vardhaan quickly removes his hand from upon his forehead, trying to assure Anjali that he is fine.

Anjali stares Vardhaan skeptically.

"Apko.... Apko kuch chahiye tha Dr. Anjali?",

(Did you need anything Dr. Anjali?)

asks Vardhaan.

And his returning back to using formal tone assures Anjali that he indeed is not fine.

Taking a deep breath, in all professional tone, Dr. Anjali orders Vardhaan,

"Aap baithiye zara."

(You sit here please.)

Vardhaan, feeling uncomfortable with the sudden concern of Anjali towards himself, tries to assure her,

"You know what Anjali, I am... I am fine. Tum jao kafi late ho gaya hai."

(You know what Anjali, I am... I am fine. You leave it's quite late.)

Taking a deep breath, as if getting irritated by his trying to steer her clear, Anjali stares Vardhaan, giving him a warning look.

And that one look, for the very first time makes Vardhaan's heart to skip a beat, thereby making him go numb. No, not that he has ever doubted of Anjali's beauty. For him she is the epitome of beauty coated with intelligence, period. Her cunning and curt replies attract him to her all the more like she is the honey and he the honeybee. It is as if she is some delicious cake tempting him over and over, yet when he tries to delve into her delicacy, she suddenly prohibits him from getting a taste of her secret taste. But that is exactly what makes her all the more desirable.

Taking her stethoscope she bends upon him while he sits on the swiveling chair. This closeness Vardhaan as well as Anjali experience for the first time. Vardhaan's rate of heartbeat increases as he realizes that their threads of hearts are tangling amongst each other in a ridiculous way. The more he tries to get away from her, not wanting to distract his mind from his real mission by any means but hell this beauty in front of him, she surely knows how to drug him. Oh how he hates failure in any of his missions but here she keeps reminding him by doing such things to him that how she is always the winner when she decides that she is ready to play!

Anjali checks him and Vardhaan looks away, trying to keep his mind clear and turns his hands into fists out of frustration. Anjali doesn't fail to notice all that.

Slowly she places her palm on his forehead that forces Vardhaan to look up towards her.

"Apko halka fever hai Mr. Vardhaan. Main apko dawayi de deti hun, I think apko ghar jakar rest karna chahiye.",

(You have slight fever Mr. Vardhaan. Let me give you the medicine, I think you should go home and rest.)

saying so Anjali gets away and Vardhaan sits straight in order to clear his clouded mind.

While doing so Vardhaan coincidently steps on Anjali's saree which imbalances her but Vardhaan holds her at the right moment, snaking his arm around her waist. All this happens in a short span of time. Anjali steadies herself by resting her right hand on the chair against which Vardhaan's back rests , while the other hand holds him by his upper arm.

She won't be lying if she confesses that this has been the most embarrassing moment for her.

"I... I am extremely sorry Mr. Vardhaan. I'll just...",

she stammers out of awkwardness and tries to steady herself, ignoring to look at him out of awkwardness.

Little smile touches Vardhaan's lips as he enjoys witnessing clumsy Anjali for the first time and he wonders can this be the beginning of something between them?

Suddenly Vardhaan gets an urge to step forth in their relationship and show his dominance upon her but the mission of his hits back at him and he finds his emotions tangled! He looks away yet again, calming his nerves down.

Anjali straightens up and stands in front of him, adjusting her messed up saree, feeling extremely awkward.

Vardhaan too gets up quickly and clears his throat, and says, without looking towards her,

"Chaliye Dr. Anjali, main apko bahar tak chor deta hun."

(Come Dr. Anjali, lemme drop you to the door.)

"Ahmm... no.. no Mr. Vardhaan, I would be fine, thank you.",

saying so, without looking towards him, whilst adjusting her saree, Anjali finally looks towards him and finds him staring her already, anxiously.

Staring him one last time, Anjali turns and leaves.

Vardhaan realizes that his cheeks have turned red hot.

•••••

Juhi wonders what else should she say or ask to him.

"Mujhe... mujhe thoda waqt chahiye.",

(I... I need some time.)

she says, knowing that he would understand.

Her words come as a surprise for Shashank. His heart flutters with hope. He sits properly, alert.

"Tumhe jitna waqt chahiye tum le sakti ho Juhi.",

(You may take as much time as you want Juhi.)

he says, earnestly.

They stay quiet.

"Mauka dete hain ek, ek dusre ko. Iss rishte ko. Dekhte hain kahan le jati hai zindagi humein.",

(Let's give a chance to each other. To this relation. Let's see where does the life lead us to.)

says Shashank.

Juhi cascades her eyes and nods her head in affirmative.

"Ab to zindagi ko mauka dene se bhi darr lagta hai. Badi mushkil se khudko sameta hai, abki baar agar tuti, to humesha ke liye bikhar jaungi. Firse khudko sametne ki himmat nahi bachegi mujh mein.",

(Such is the situation of life today that I am scared to even give a chance to it. It's been difficult to collect myself, if I break this time, I will be broken to pieces beyond repair. I won't be left with strength to recollect the broken pieces.)

says Juhi, hesitantly.

Shashank understands her dilemma.

"Main tumhe bikherne ke liye nahi tumhe sametne ke liye tumhara saath chahta hun Juhi.",

(I am not asking your presence there in my life to break you but to recollect the broken pieces of yours and mend you Juhi.)

says Shashank.

Juhi's heart skips a beat hearing that. She looks in front of her in shock. She takes a deep breath and says,

"Acha ye sub choriye. Aap mujhe Anjali aur apne rishte ke barey mein kuch bataiye.",

(Alright let's just skip this and you tell me about Anjali and yours relationship.)

smiles Juhi.

Shashank takes a deep breath and says,

"Ah! Anjali! Kya bataun uske barey mein? Bohot moody hai. Strict hai! Jab jo keh diya wo usse chahiye bhi aur wo waisa karke bhi rehti hai.",

(Ah! Anjali! What can I say about her? She is very moody. Strict! When she says something she gets adamant at getting it and also she works out successfully to get it.)

laughs Shashank.

Juhi laughs too thinking fondly of Anjali.

"Fir to pakka wo aap par gayi hai.",

(Then I am sure she has gone after you.)

laughs Juhi.

"Haan! Smriti bhi yahi kehti thi.",

(Yes! Even Smriti used to say that.)

laughs Shashank.

The smiles fade from their face upon the mention of Smriti.

"Janti ho Juhi, Smriti ko pata tha ke mere sarey interns mein tum meri favourite ho.",

(Do you know Juhi, Smriti knew that amongst all my interns you are my favourite.)

smiles Shashank, sadly.

Juhi feels a bit uncomfortable upon discussing about Smriti, guilt ridden she feels suddenly.

Shashank turns serious and says,

"Juhi, jo main tumhare liye mehsus karta tha, main usse khudko humesha durr rakhne ki koshish karta tha."

(Juhi whatever I used to feel for you, I always used to try to keep myself away from that feeling.)

Juhi's cheeks turn warm hearing that.

"Shayad Shashank ko Dr. Shashank par haawi hone nahi deta tha.",

(May be I never let Shashank to overpower Dr. Shashank.)

says Shashank, guilt ridden.

Juhi hugs a cushion just to calm down her nerves, hearing him.

"Tumhara Rahul ke saath hona...",

(Your being with Rahul...)

trails off Shashank.

Juhi gets alert, knitting her brows.

"Tumhe yaad hai ek baar main hospital late pohncha tha aur mere haath mein chont lagi thi?",

(Do you remember once I reached hospital late and my hand got bruised?)

Shashank tries to remind her.

It doesn't take Juhi much time to remember and upon remembering she says anxiously,

"Ji.. yaad hai... bohot khoon beh raha tha apke haath se. Maine apki dressing ki thi. Kitni darr gayi thi main."

(Yes... I remember... your hand was bleeding badly. I did your dressing. I got so worried.)

Shashank nods his head and says,

"Nahi bardasht kar pa raha tha tumhara Rahul ko apna waqt dena; tum dono ka saath!"

(I wasn't being able to tolerate your giving your time to Rahul; staying of you two together!)

That comes as a surprise for Juhi.

"Janta hun... janta hun nahi karna chahiye tha mujhe. Pata nahi kya hua tha mujhe uss din.",

(I know... I know I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what had happened to me that day.)

says Shashank, regretting.

*Flashback*

Holding the glass filled with wine in his left hand, in his mind Shashank keeps repeating the moment when he saw Juhi and Rahul laughing and having a good time. The fact that she took leave earlier than her usual time of leaving the hospital just to spend some time with Rahul, Shashank doesn't understand why irks him. In his anger he presses the glass too hard that it breaks into pieces and he hurts himself.

With his right hand he drives towards Sanjivani. As he enters the hospital his heart skips a beat upon discovering Juhi there. But his anger takes a toll on him and he drifts his eyes away from her and turns to his left.

But Juhi gets a glimpse of his before he could turn to the adjacent corridor.

"Sir! Sir! Shashank Sir!",

calls out Juhi, her eyes twinkling and her heart throbbing inside her chest on getting a glimpse of her mentor Dr. Shashank. She runs after him.

She notices the trail of blood drops and gets shocked as she notices that it is dropping from Shashank's hand.

"Sir!",

she calls out in shock and runs after him.

Entering his cabin after him, Juhi holds his hand and stares at his wound in horror.

Her sudden holding of his hand comes as a surprise for Shashank and he turns to find her with himself.

"Sir apke haath se to kitna khoon nikal raha hai!",

(Sir your hand is bleeding badly.)

exclaims Juhi in shock.

Shashank keeps staring Juhi while she says this.

He looks away to calm down his nerves. His facial muscles turn rigid.

"It's okay Dr. Singh I'll he fine.",

says Shashank, looking ahead, all strict.

"No Sir it's not okay!",

says Juhi, tensed, looking towards him.

"Aap rukiye main abhi apka first aid kar deti hun.",

(You wait I'll give you the first aid.)

says Juhi and quickly heads for the first aid box present in Shashank's cabin.

While she gives him the first aid Shashank stares her, inside he fights with his ill mannered desires that build up for her.

"Kaise hua ye Sir?",

(How did it happen Sir?)

asks Juhi, whilst giving him first aid.

Shashank remains silent out of anger.

Upon not receiving his reply, Juhi looks towards him whilst working on his wound.

She goes quiet as she realises that he is not in a good mood to answer.

Shashank realises that she is holding his hand. He immediately removes his hand from her hold.

"I am fine Dr. Singh. Aap ja sakti hain.",

(I am fine Dr. Singh. You may leave.)

says Shashank, not looking towards her, and keeping a straight face.

Taking that he is disturbed about something and not in best of his moods to talk, Juhi slowly leaves his cabin after staring him for a moment or two, in confusion and fear. After she leaves, Shashank sits on his chair in frustration.

"Dammit!",

he curses out of frustration.

"Ye galat hai! Ye galat hai! Main uska mentor hun. Aur humare beech aisa kabhi nahi ho sakta. Kabhi nahi.",

(This is wrong! This is wrong! I am her mentor. And this can never happen between us. Never.)

says Shashank.

*Flashback ends*

"Ussi pal maine tai kar liya tha ke main apne juzzbaatton ko apne professional life par haawi nahi hone dunga.",

(I had decided right at that moment that I won't let my feelings to overpower my professional life.)

says Shashank.

Juhi understands his emotions.

Shashank takes a deep breath.

"So, kal ka schedule kaisa hai tumhara?",

(So, how is your schedule for tomorrow?)

asks Shashank, smiling.

"Kal waise to free hun, just ek case hai. Subah jate hi uss patient ka checkup karna hai, fir free hun.",

(As such I am free tomorrow, just have one case. I need to checkup that patient the very moment I reach hospital tomorrow morning, after that I am free.)

says Juhi, sighing.

Shashank smiles and says,

"Waise kal main bhi free hun."

(By the way even I am free tomorrow.)

Juhi cascades her eyes, smiling, expecting him to say something.

Shashank holds his breath as he asks,

"Ahmm... agar tumhe aitraaz na ho to kya hum kahin bahar chal sakte hain kal? Kuch der ke liye?"

(Ahmm... if you don't mind can we go out somewhere tomorrow? For sometime?)

Juhi smiles and blushes hearing that.

Shashank waits impatiently for her reply.

"Ji!",

(Sure!)

smiles Juhi.

Shashank's heart flutters hearing that.

"Ahmm... I hope tum mujhse gussa nahi ho Juhi.",

(Ahmm... I hope you are not angry at me Juhi.)

says Shashank, hesitantly.

Juhi cascades her eyes again, and replies with confidence,

"Nahi!"

(No!)

Smile stretches on Shashank's face.

"Ahmm... kal milte hain fir.",

(Ahmm... shall meet tomorrow then.)

says Juhi, bringing the conversation to an end. And it sounds promising to both of them. They bid goodbye to each other and end the call.

••••

Anjali reaches home and finds Dr. Shashank smiling, lost in thought.

Reaching him in confusion, Anjali asks him,

"Dad! Kya hua? Aap yun akele baithe-baithe yun muskura kyun rahe hain?"

(Dad! What happened? Why are you smiling sitting here all alone?)

"Hey Anjali. Tum aa gayi? Main to bus aise hi.",

(Hey Anjali. You have come? I was just passing the time.)

smiles Shashank, holding her hand.

"Come sit.",

says Shashank.

"Nahi Dad, I am tired. See you Dad, I'll go and get some sleep.",

(No Dad, I am tired. See you Dad, I'll go and get some sleep.)

saying so Anjali leaves for her room.

"Hey Anjali!",

calls out Shashank, looking towards her as she leaves for her room.

Turning she asks,

"Ji Dad?"

(Yes Dad?)

Shashank thinks before he asks,

"Kya Juhi ko ek mauka nahi mil sakta?"

(Can't Juhi get one chance?)

Anjali fumes with anger upon hearing Juhi's name. After a moment, she replies,

"No Dad! I am sorry!"

And she walks away whilst wishing him,

"Good night Dad!"

Shashank keeps staring the departing figure of Anjali, speechless.

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