One year later.

Letter after letter after letter. The only communication I had with her was letters. It was hell.

I needed more. I needed so much more than one page a week.

Life was bland, colorless, empty, without her.

But how could I possibly see her without putting her in grave danger?

Then I got a letter.

Dear Rosa.

I am many things, a pushover, weak, helpless, but I am not blind, nor am I stupid. Your words have changed the past few weeks, they are dull, I read your letters and they no longer give me joy like they used to, something has changed in you. This leaves me with two conclusions. One, you've moved on, I was just there in your time of need and now that I am no longer in your reach you have moved on, if that is the case I do not mind, after all even if it didn't last you saved me numerous times, and for that, I am forever in your debt.

If I am correct I ask you to read no further.

However, if it is the second conclusion, I ask you to please ignore what I have just said, I will not move on, I do in fact mind. You have my entire heart and that is why I don't want to keep you unless you want to stay. So that brings me to two. You miss me. You miss me as much as I miss you, so much that you wait by the mailbox each morning to see if a letter has arrived, so much that the days are infinitely long and the darkness of the night seems to be everlasting. I am not one for vampiric romances, but I do have to say I finally understand the analogy.

I once saw a sky full of stars, then you came along and you burned as bright as a comet when you were gone I was blinded and I could no longer see the stars. Just an empty night sky.

With love, Ana.

Then there was a small piece of paper with an address and a note.

So, my dearest Rosa Sanchez. Are you willing to light up my sky again?

She wanted to meet.

Sunset. It's beautiful here. Not as beautiful as you though.

It took every single fiber of my being to stay calm.

I walked over to the spot where there was a loose floorboard and pried it open. I grabbed the small box.

I couldn't risk anyone knowing about her letters, but I couldn't bring myself to burn them.

Under my floor, inside two locked boxes was my heart. All the letters Ana had sent me, and a ring my mother had given me.

I tried to explain to Mother that I would never marry Ana. She wouldn't budge.

From what I could tell I loved her, I hadn't really loved anyone before. I only knew about fiction, and this was much more intense.

But I could never do that to Ana. Sure, marriage was nice, but for my mother, it had always been a prison. For someone like Ana, it could become a prison.

It was a matter of time before she truly saw me. I was a monster, and maybe it was okay that I loved Ana. Maybe.

But beneath that, I was Spanish Cartel. Beneath the girl who fell in love with a goddess, I longed to be a killer. I longed to be so powerful and ruthless that people trembled before me.

I never knew why. I assumed it was because I wanted to stand up to my father. I wanted to make people cower at my feet, then show them mercy. I wanted to show people, particularly my father and brother, that there are smarter ways to rule.

Ana was kind. She was sweet, she was perfect, she was caring, she wouldn't let go of me for an hour after I hurt myself punching someone.

So it didn't matter how much I loved her. It didn't matter how much I wanted to have her by my side forever. None of that mattered.

Because inevitably, she was too good for me, and one day she would realize that.

Divorce is hard, divorce is long and difficult. Someone as good as her should never have to go through that because they made the mistake of marrying someone like me.

So we wouldn't ever get married, because it was easier for her to leave.

...
This one is a little short, and I KNOW that I say that a lot, but I'm trying to make all the chaps in this book long *ish* (not that long but longer than chaps in my other books)

Did I add more words just so I could have another s title? Yes.

It's going to be a new letter every 10 chaps, because I can't find that many s words. Ig.

<3