She shook her head. "Not now."

"Not now because of me or you?"

"You." She whispered.

"Ana. Tell me."

She bit the inside of her cheek. "Why can't I just wait until you're healthy and we're home."

"Because you're upset now. I don't know how long I'm going to be in here, I don't want you to be upset for however long that is."

She nodded. "I got the results from my appointment today. I'm infertile."

My heart sunk. This wasn't something we ever took into consideration.

"Okay." I rubbed her back. I didn't know what else to say.

"What are we going to do?" She sniffled.

"We can find a surrogate. It's going to be fine." I ran my fingers through her hair.

"Rosa, no we can't." She mumbled. "We have to go through agencies, we have to prove that we're fit to be parents. Your father will never allow that."

"Then after-"

"How long will that be?"

"I- I don't know. I'm sorry." I wiped a tear from my cheek.

"Wait, can you still get pregnant?" I looked down at her.

She nodded. "We just have to do IVF. Just with someone else's eggs instead of mine."

"What about mine?"

"What?" Her voice broke. "I thought you couldn't."

"I can't carry a pregnancy to term, it would probably kill us both. But I still have the eggs."

"Why did'nt you mention it before?" She looked confused, and a little betrayed.

"It wouldn't be like a normal egg retrieval. The surgery could kill me, it might not even work. Plus I'll have to take a shit ton of time off. I didn't think it would ever come up, then I forgot."

"I don't like the sound of that." She frowned.

"I risk my life every day, I'm more concerned about taking time off. I'm going to be behind already."

"Can't you just do it now then?"

I grabbed her hand and laced my fingers through hers. "I'd love to, but if we want to be sure it works we need a man."

"Why?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I'll do it." Jesús was leaning against the doorframe.

I jumped and Ana's arm dug into my rib.

I winced. "You cannot just sneak up on me like that."

"You're supposed to have super hearing. I've been standing here for like five minutes." He laughed.

"Why?"

"I forgot my phone." He walked over and grabbed it from the nightstand.

"No, why were you standing there for so long." I sat up slightly.

"I didn't want to interrupt." He shrugged.

"So eavesdropping was better?"

"Old habits die hard." I barely saw his smile in the darkness.

"Let's circle back, why do we need a man?" Ana looked between us.

"Eggs are more likely to survive freezing if they're fertilized." Jesús went back to his place against the doorframe. "And they're going to need to freeze them."

"Isn't that kind of a big commitment?" I stared at him.

"It's not like I'm having a kid. You know how people compare having children to group projects?"

"Yeah?" Ana laughed.

"I'm going to hand the markers to you and run away."

"My father is going to pretend you're their dad." I stared at him.

"I was going to be the godfather before wasn't I?" He looked at Ana.

"Probably." She muttered.

"Yeah, I prefer this to that one hundred percent."

I smiled. "Someone go find a doctor."

...
Six weeks later.

His hand felt strange in mine. I didn't enjoy it but I didn't exactly dislike it.

It made me feel sort of comfortable.

"Where exactly are we going again?" I glanced up at him.

"It's a surprise." He smiled.

"Very funny." I glared at him. "Where are we going."

"Ana planned it, if I tell you she'll get mad. Do you want that?" He made a pouty face.

"I hate you so much." I laughed.

"Love you too." He looked back at the road.

"How are you so fucking nice?" I glanced up at him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I've never just felt like being mean."

"How do you do anything?" I stared at him.

"Not everyone is trying to hurt you, Rosa." He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.

My immediate reaction was to squeeze his hand in return. I wasn't sure why.

"Sorry." I muttered.

"You don't like physical affection much do you?"

"I wrote love letters for a year and was perfectly content for most of it. I wouldn't say it's my love language." I said flatly.

He was stepping into territory I didn't like people stepping into.

He laughed. "As much as I admire reading about all the things you're going to do to me when we meet again, I don't think I can say I'm eager to do the same. I've been too busy dreaming about your eyes. I'd give anything to see them again, even if it was just a glimpse in a crowded room."

I almost jumped. "Where did you hear that from?"

"Ana showed me snippets from your letters. Her favorite parts I guess."

"And why did you decide to tell me that now?" I looked at him but he was focused on the path ahead.

He didn't answer.

"Jesús?" I stared at him.

He smiled.

I sighed and looked back at the road.

We were in a fairly popular area. I tried to look happy as I noticed people starting to take pictures.

The sun was beginning to set.

We kept walking until we got to a fountain in the center of a square. I couldn't count the number of people taking pictures now.

He stood in front of me and dropped my hand. Then he bent down to whisper in my ear. "I wasn't sure about you until Ana showed me the letters. She was desperate to prove to me how good you were. That paragraph is when I decided you were. That paragraph is why I'm here, doing this. I brought it up now because you reminded me of it."

He stepped back and I expected him to kiss me.

Then he took another step back and pulled a ring from his pocket.

My ring.

My wedding ring.

I didn't even hear what he was saying.

I could wear it. I could wear it in public and nobody would care.

I launched myself into his arms before he finished talking. "I love you."

He laughed. "Is that yes then?"

I sniffled. I didn't even realize I was crying.

I couldn't form words I was so grateful. I held my hand out and he slipped the ring on.

I heard applause but I couldn't even think about it.

He stood up and pulled me to my feet. I was surprised at myself when I wrapped my arms around him again.

But I didn't move, this would be more convincing.

I buried my face in his neck. "Was this her idea?" I whispered.

"Kind of, she told me I should make it a surprise so I would get a genuine reaction." He whispered back. "I didn't expect this much."

"Neither did I." I laughed. "Do you think we still have to kiss?"

"Probably." He kissed my forehead.

It made me feel all kinds of gross but I knew Cat was lucky she had him.

"I hope you're a good actor." I mumbled.

"I mean this in the most respectful way possible. In another world, where you were straight and we were both single, I would've asked you out. I don't really need to act."

"Thanks? I guess. I hope you know we would've crashed and burned."

"Oh yeah, it would've been terrible." I heard the smile in his voice. "Ready?"

"I hope you're a good kisser."

"If not I'm sure I'll hear about it at every Christmas dinner for the rest of my life."

"Absolutely you will."

...
I almost made this a little longer, but I think this was a good stopping point.

Rosa and her guy friends <3

and now I have to go figure out times 😀

get ready for some conflicts because I need a few years of filler 💃🏼

<3