Trigger Warning - Abuse, Sexual Assault.
...

I walked through the pews in the church. She'd been gone for hours and I was bored out of my mind.

Val walked up to me as I rounded the end of the aisle. "What's going through your head?"

"Why do bounty hunters have such a big church?" I smiled slightly.

He smirked. "I don't know if I've used this joke with you already, but we're catholic, and all of our sins go away with a simple confession."

"Still doesn't answer why it's so big."

He shrugged. "Big family I guess. I've been in much larger ones so it never really occurred to me."

"This is the first church I've been in since I came to Spain."

"Where are you from?" Val leaned against a support beam.

"Kansas." I pressed my lips into a tight line.

"I'm guessing you don't miss it?" He narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Not at all." I shook my head. "My parents were part of a hate group, my mom probably still is."

He nodded. Some sort of understanding was behind his eyes. I didn't press him on it.

"We're you raised in it, or did they join later?" He pulled a small flask from the pocket of his jacket.

I leaned against the pew. "Raised."

"Do you have any siblings?" He offered me a drink. I denied it.

"Three brothers." I smiled. "They're all older."

Val laughed lightly. "You couldn't have gotten a boyfriend even if you wanted one."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." I sighed. "My parents were hell to be around. I didn't like them before they discovered I was gay. My brothers made it better somehow."

He studied my face. "I'm sorry, this can't be easy to talk about."

I shook my head. "I'm glad I can talk to you, I haven't told Rosa and it's good to figure out what I need to say."

His eyes widened. "You haven't told her?"

I looked down. "I'm afraid she'd leave me, and before you say anything I know how much she loves me and how crazy I sound."

"Mariana or Sofia might call you stupid, but if you don't mind, may I ask why?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Have you ever heard of the Westboro Baptist Church?"

I didn't dare lookup. His voice shook slightly as he spoke. "Yes."

I slowly lifted my head. "That's where I was raised."

He shifted slightly. "Why are you afraid of telling Rosa?"

I looked at my feet. "She wears a cross every day. I sit at the dinner table awkwardly before eating."

He sighed. "The only one who can give you answers on this is Rosa, but I'm pretty sure you could be the Antichrist and she would still sacrifice herself for you."

"Let's hope so." I hugged myself.

...
I watched as the arrows hit the target. Mary was one of Rosa's aunts, her aim was deadly.

She noticed me and looked over. "Do you hunt?"

I looked at the person-shaped target. Mary laughed. "Animals, I mean."

I smiled slightly. "Taxidermy makes me cry."

She choked on another laugh. "And Ms. Cartel Leader Wannabe is the choice for you?"

I giggled. "Maybe I'll get a discounted price on the drugs."

Mary collapsed with laughter.

Rosa walked through the gate to the range. She looked different. She was always dressed nicely with her hair neatly done. She never dressed casually unless she was working out or sleeping.

Today she was wearing black leggings that hugged her legs nicely and a large dark green hoodie that looked like it belonged to one of her uncles or cousins. Her normally perfect hair was thrown back into a bun that appeared to be falling out. For once in her life, she looked relaxed.

She stared at Mary for a second and then smiled down at me. "I hope you're not sharing all of my darkest secrets."

She held her hands out towards me, I grabbed them and she pulled me to my feet. "I would never, I'm just making drug jokes." I smiled.

Rosa laughed lightly. "So I shouldn't leave you alone with my family again."

I shrugged. "I'd prefer if you didn't do that anyway, I'm bad at small talk so I'm just feeding them trauma."

She smiled. "Just tell me what kind of trauma you want to talk about and I'll give you the person to talk to."

I raised an eyebrow and thought of the look of knowing Val gave me earlier. "Do certain people have triggers or something?"

"No. They're bounty hunters, they don't have weaknesses." She joked.

She grabbed my hand and started walking us towards the gate. "Sofia is old-fashioned, you don't want to talk to her about anything woman's-rights-related. However it's anything childhood-related, she's your girl."

She paused for a moment. "Oh, and if it's anything religious you can't talk to anyone but Valiente. You have to be cautious with him though."

"Not even you?" My eyes flickered to her face for a moment.

She stopped and turned to look at me. I tried to look away but she grabbed my chin. "You can tell me anything. I don't have to know it all now, but if I ever get into a position of power I would hate to learn something important about you from a stranger."

From anyone else I would've said everything now, her tone sounded threatening but I somehow knew it wasn't. If I started talking now I would break down before she heard the whole story. I needed time and she was willing to give it to me.

"What happened with Val?" If I was going to tell her I needed to know if I wasn't careful with him.

She sighed. "A priest touched him and nobody believed him. Then his big sister was forced to marry a Cartel leader and her life was constantly threatened. He didn't believe in God after that."

I looked down. I remember the endless prayers when Jesús was beaten so badly he was hospitalized for a week. I remember when he got home and I begged him to stop taking the blame for everything. I remember praying for him to come back when he left because he could at least stand his ground against my father's beatings.

I remember when Mom found my journals and Luis locked me in the bathroom closet and told me not to make a noise. I remember praying I would die.

I remembered the 'corrective treatments' the church forced on me before they shipped me away.

I looked back up at Rosa. "Why do you believe in God?"

She looked slightly startled by my question, but she answered anyway. "I don't know, it's how I was raised. I've been given no reason to believe otherwise."

I opened my mouth but then quickly shut it. She wasn't using religion to attack other people, she was still respectful. I didn't need to ask her meaningless questions that might change how she felt.

"Spit it out, I'm sure I've thought of it already." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Conversion therapy?" My voice quieted.

She looked down. "You know how I feel about myself, and if you still want to ignore it, that's where I met you. Everything happens for a reason."

Everything happens for a reason. I looked down as the tears started to form in my eyes.

Rosa pulled me into a hug. "I don't know what happened to you, I won't know until you decide to tell me. However, I know that as long as I'm here, nobody will ever hurt you like that again." Her voice broke.

She sniffled and pulled away from the hug. I looked at her face, she was crying. "And I'm so sorry, for what's happened for you and for what I'm about to do."

I started to panic at those last words. I tried to grab her hand but she pulled it out of my reach.

She grabbed something small from her pocket and looked at it for a moment. I couldn't tell what it was.

"You're the most perfect person I have ever met and I hate that you love me. I hate that you can stand to be around me. I want you to run away and never look back, but you don't want that. I never wanted to do this, and now I'm doing it because it benefits me. I hope it makes you happy for however long it lasts because if it doesn't I don't know what I'll do with myself."

She moved her hand enough that I could see what she was holding. She opened the small box and I saw what appeared to be a ring. "Do you want me to get on the ground?" She looked at me as she wiped away her tears.

I jumble of letters came out of my mouth and none of them formed a word. What the Hell was going on. Was she proposing? Why was she so upset?

She backed up slightly and got down on one knee. "Do you want a legal document that says 'I love you?"

I laughed slightly. "I think you're supposed to say 'Will you marry me?"

She smiled. "Fine, Anastasia Rachel Smith, will you marry me?"

I cringed. "You know I hate that name."

"I am not asking a third time." She narrows her eyes.

"Can my brother walk me down the aisle?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I'm going to throw this ring at you. For the love of God, just say yes. I'm kneeling on a rock." She groaned.

"Yes." I smiled. "I'd want nothing more."

...
Heavy but then nice? Idk lol.

<3