I put on a nice dress, Father was nicer to me when I looked like I belonged in the family.

As I walked down the stairs I surveyed the room, Mother was in the kitchen preparing lunch, Father and Rafael were sitting at the table discussing business.

I would have to get Mother alone, there was no question about that. Well, other than how?

Father knew she didn't care about me, and he was skeptical about me being 'cured' as he called it.

I walked up to her. "Can I help you with anything?"

She gave me a puzzled look. "No darling, I'm fine."

I shifted back and forth a little. "I need to talk to you."

She smiled at me. "I'm listening."

I looked at the floor. "Is it possible to talk to you... alone?"

Rafael and Father went silent. Father cleared his throat. "Rosa, anything you need to speak to your mother about you can say now."

"I'd rather not." The words fell out of my mouth. I should just go upstairs.

"And why is that?" He raised his eyebrows.

I said the first thing that came to mind. "I don't think you'd be very happy if I was discussing my... feminine needs in the kitchen."

He opened his mouth as if to say something then shut it quickly. "Right, you're free to discuss those matters in your room."

I half smiled at him. Rafael looked like he wanted to die then and there. I wished he would.

Mother placed her hand on the small of my back and led me up the stairs into my room. She shut the door behind her and leaned against it. "I'm sorry dear, that must've been terribly uncomfortable."

I smiled at her. "Actually, I lied."

She raised an eyebrow. "You lied?"

I nodded and grabbed the letter and note from Ana. "Here." I handed them to her.

I watched her face change as she read, at first she was confused, then it changed to something that resembled pride.

She smiled at me. "You'd like to see her?"

I nodded.

I could almost see her forming a plan in her mind. "Right, you pack whatever you think you may need, I'll go make an excuse."

I ran into her arms as she studied the note with the address. "Thank you."

She hugged me back tightly. "Of course."

I took the letter from her and put it back under the floorboards. She turned to leave. "Rosa?"

"Yes?" I looked up at her.

"I'll take you under one condition." She was looking out the window, her expression was somber.

"What?" My voice shook a little.

"Let me meet her."

...
I stood in front of the door, clutching the not in my hand.

Knock.

What if she changed her mind? What if she didn't want me here?

I slowly lifted my hand and lightly knocked on the door.

The door opened slowly. The woman behind it looked me up and down. "You must be Rosa."

I nodded slightly. I didn't know who this woman was, I didn't want to make a bad impression.

She fully opened the door and gestured for me to go inside.

"My mother is in the car." I glanced behind me.

She pressed her lips into a thin line, she was contemplating something.

Then she looked back at me. "Go ahead inside, I'll go talk to her."

Oh, of course.

She doesn't want me alone with Ana.

I'm dangerous.

I walked inside and found a bedroom that was clearly hers. I knocked on the doorframe, she was lying on the bed.

She sat up and looked at me. She stared at me for a moment.

Of course, she wanted me gone. This was a mistake.

Then she jumped off the bed and ran into my arms. "You came!"

I froze for a moment, then I tightly wrapped my arms around her. "Of course I did."

I kissed the top of her head. "Of course I did." I whispered again.

I cupped her face in my hands. Then I noticed she was crying.

"What's wrong?" I panicked.

"I missed you so much." She sniffled.

I wiped away her tears. "You think you missed me? Imagine being deprived of you for-."

Before I could finish speaking she twisted her fingers through my hair and pulled met face to hers.

She pushed me back so the door closed and kissed me deeply. I found myself at war with my thoughts again.

She pulled me back onto her bed. I was struggling to stay grounded.

You're a monster. Stop it.

I wanted the thoughts to just go away.

A sob broke through Ana's lips. I instantly stood up. I was too busy with my head I wasn't focused on her.

Oh, God. What if I hurt her?

I'd never forgive myself.

"What's wrong?" I moved to her side. My hands were shaking. I begged they would stop.

"I don't wanna have sex right now." She mumbled through her tears.

Was I holding her down? Why was she crying?

"That's completely fine, you don't have to, I'm sorry." The words rushed out.

"Why are you sorry?" She sniffled.

"I don't know, what did I do? Why are you crying?" I brushed the strands of hair from her face.

"You didn't do anything." She looked away from me. "I-." She paused. "I think- maybe-."

"Ana, you're killing me here." I smiled at her.

"I love you." She blurted out.

"How?" I said without even thinking.

She grabbed my hand. "I don't know how love works, but I do know I feel it for you."

I collapsed on the bed beside her. "I love you... too?"

"If you're not ready to say it, you don't have to. Don't force it." She looked at me.

I shook my head. "I'm ready, I mean it. It's just not right."

"What do you mean?" She dropped my hand.

I sighed. "I mean, love isn't enough, but I'm afraid that if I say what I really mean, I'll scare you."

She moved over and put her head on my chest. "You can't scare me."

I laughed. "I absolutely can scare you."

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean, you can't scare me away with your love. However intense it may be."

I ran my fingers through her hair. "It's intense."

"Tell me." She ran her fingers along the scars on my wrist. One day I'd have to tell her how I got them, but not today.

"I'd die for you." I said flatly. "I don't know when it happened, but the way I feel about you is... simple. Without you, there is no me. I will simply cease to exist."

She paused. "That's not simple at all."

I frowned. "I guess that's poor phrasing. I can't explain the way you make me feel, but it seems my life when it comes to you is in black and white. I love you unconditionally, I'd kill for you, and I'd die for you."

"That is very intense." She mumbled.

I let out a shaky breath. "Yeah."

She grabbed my arm and wrapped it around her then pulled the blanket over us. "It's nice to be loved."

She smiled. "You say I'm a goddess, you're a monster. I say I love you, you say you'd die for me. I trip, you catch me. Where's the balance in this relationship?"

"You already said it." I looked at the ceiling. "You're a goddess and I don't deserve you. I'm a monster who only brings shame and disgust wherever I go."

...

I don't know what to say...

<3