I feel like I'm giving evidence in court with the way Liam is looking at me.

"Everything." He says because I'm not talking.

"I've always loved him," I sigh, voice shaking from fear. "Ever since I first saw him. Love at first sight."

I start to tear up.

"Like you always dreamt of. Oh, Harry." He breathes, sympathetically. I don't need his sympathy.

"I dropped my drink because I couldn't help it, he took my breath away," I say, reminiscing. "The way he called me curly. How his accent sounded. How quick he was with his jokes. All of it."

I breathe in sharply.

"It helped me with getting over Will, you know," I choke. "He - He just blew me away, but he was straight."

"He wasn't." Liam frowns.

"I always thought he was," I say. "Until we were talking about my sex life at the pub that time."

"When we were talking about how many times you-,"

"Yeah." I say over him. I don't really want to hear the word. "And you said about him being bi, and it threw me off."

"So did you ask him about it?" He questions, assuming I started all of this. It makes sense.

"No," I say. "We went out that evening, when you went out with that girl. And he wouldn't stop asking about my sex life."

I swallow.

"The other guys pulled and he kept asking about different sexual acts because he hadn't heard of some."

"And?"

"It was fine, I just answered his questions, looking for a guy to pull. But he was whining because he didn't want to be left alone because of El being out." I flinch at her name. "He told me not to pull, and said about going to play FIFA. It was completely innocent, and I felt bad for him so I agreed."

"We left to come here, and we were joking and flirting because we were drunk, and I'm always suggestive anyway," I look at Liam, who nods, frowning. It makes me swallow. "He said something about me having a rude mouth, and I said I always talk dirty during sex."

"I'll be honest and say that sound like normal drunk Harry," He says.

"Well, he asked me to talk dirty to him," I flush, remembering it. "He wouldn't take no for an answer, and I was already horny. And in love with him that I did it."

"Okay," Liam breathes. "And then what?"

"He kissed me." I flinch.

"He kissed you?" Liam frowns. I nod.

"I kissed back," I continue. "I stopped because I remembered El, but he - he shushed me. And I just wanted him."

Liam nods.

"Okay."

"I all but dragged him back to ours and we..."

"You had sex?" He asks and I flush.

"Yeah," I bring my limbs up to hide into a ball. "He made me... three times."

"Oh." Liam blushes. "You did other things."

I nod.

"Is that the only time?" He asks, and I close my eyes, breathing in. "It wasn't?"

"No," I continue. "At camping. In the toilets when we got there. He was avoiding me, but we somehow just... I - blew him. And in the tent that night we..."

Liam sighs.

"And?"

"The next morning in the tent. In the showers, he wanted me to - I did it to him." I sigh, wincing at having to talk about it.

"You-? Why?" Liam looks so confused.

"Because I'm in love with him," I start to cry. "Because he talked me into it, knowing I didn't do it with people who weren't my boyfriends."

Liam comes round to sit next to me.

"Any other times?"

"The week after we came back, on the Thursday, my day off. He just turned up, and he spent the day," I say. "All day."

"How many times?"

"Three." I sniff and he rubs my back.

"And more times after that?" He asks, concerned.

"Every Thursday for a month." I choke. "I loved and hated it. I had to see him with her every Saturday, watching as he told her he loved her, knowing he was cheating on her with me. It was horrible. I felt so disgusting, but he always made me feel so good."

I sob, and he holds me.

"I used to call him gorgeous, because I couldn't help myself," I shakily say. "He blushed every time I said it, Li. Every time."

He hugs me tighter.

"And he said I couldn't do it unless he said it back," I cry. "He would tell me every time I saw him, and I loved it."

Liam shushes me, trying to calm me down.

"And you had the break down, because of him?" He questions and I nod, my head in my hands.

"I didn't mean to, it just - it just came out," I gasp. "I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be second best, and I couldn't do it to her anymore."

I breathe in sharply.

"And it hurt so badly, the idea of stopping it, but knowing I had to."

"It was awful," Liam's holds me closely, rubbing my arms. "And then it got worse. I thought you were getting better."

"I saw El on the Thursday and she talked about Louis all day," I explain. "It was horrible. It was like she knew and she was torturing me for what I'd done."

"Harry." He coddles me.

"And so I decided I was going to - you know - end it." I say quietly, embarrassed.

"And Louis stopped you?" Liam fills in the gaps, voice thick.

"Yeah," My voice breaks. "He was so kind to me. He cried. He kissed me and told me I was worth crying for. I told him we shouldn't be kissing but he didn't stop, and one thing let to another."

I cry harder.

"We argued after because I told him that that was the last time, and he wouldn't take no for an answer," I sob. "So I shouted at him. I told him I was in love with him."

"And what did he say?" Liam asks.

"Nothing at first and then he just said he had to go." I shake with my crying.

Liam says nothing but just holds me, and I hold onto him for dear life.

"Was that the last time?" He asks and I nod. "You were so bad after that, you were either sleeping or crying or worse, like the day we found you on the kitchen floor."

I cringe.

"'M sorry." I gasp, and he coddles me, shushing me.

"And you went to your Mums," He says. "I couldn't understand why he was freaking out so badly. He said about the pills and I almost ripped his head off. I should've-,"

I flinch at his anger.

"No. That was my fault." I breathe, trying to calm him down.

"He should've told me when you did it, what if I hadn't been around another time when he wasn't there? When he decides he wants to fuck you?" He emphasises.

I close my mouth.

"And you came back from your Mums looking so good, completely back to normal and he - he fucking has the decency to hug you?" His anger is taking over.

"I did this too, Li." I remind him.

"He almost completely ruined you," He growls, ignoring me. "Hell, you're still not great now."

I cringe as he moves away to look at me properly.

"Has he tried anything since?" He looks at my face because he knows I can't lie.

"The day I got back, after we'd played 'never have I ever', when I went to the toilet." I say, wincing at the anger in his eyes.

"He - he knows you love him, that he still has a girlfriend. He follows you back there to -," He cuts himself off with his anger.

"He just kept complimenting me, and then he just tried kissing me, and I pushed him off." I say, quietly.

"And then you went straight to bed," Liam purses his lips. "I knew something wasn't right."

I nod.

"I'm going to be honest, Harry," Liam says quietly. "I'm so angry with Louis, I don't know what to do. He has the nerve to panic if she's cheating on him?"

"I did it too, Liam," I try to defend Louis.

"Yes, but you're single. You're vulnerable and he's completely taken advantage of that. He knows you're not okay, but he still tried. God, I'm fuming." His voice breaks.

"It'll be okay," I try to look after him. "It won't happen again."

"No, it won't, because you'll go on that date, and be with a real man who looks after you," Liam pulls my body away to look me in the eye. "Unlike you, Louis isn't worth it. He's attractive and usually a nice guy, but he isn't right for you."

My body feels like it's crushing when it takes in those words. I know it's true.

"He only used you, and you know it," He looks at me sadly. "It's time to move on now, this guy is so lovely. He's perfect for you, Haz."

I feel a little better because he's back to using my nicknames.

"Okay, Li," I nod. "I'll do it. I have to text him our address."

"Good, do it," He smiles gently. "I have a good feeling about this."

I wipe at my face, feeling much better for telling my best friend.

"I won't tell him I know," Liam says, rubbing my shoulder before moving back to take his bowl. "But I'm going to be like a hawk, Harry. Don't believe anything he says. If he tells you he loves you, don't believe it."

He hits the nail on the head. He pretty much said he has feelings for me when he was here. Was he lying?

"It's just fantastic sex for him, yeah?" Liam adds, making me flinch. It was just sex for him. Always had been.

"Yeah." I whisper.

"Right, go and text that lad." He urges.

I stand, feeling exposed with how little I am wearing, but continue to my room.

I text Nathan the address, stomach tightening at the fear of dating someone else.

Louis doesn't love you. It's over. Even if he wasn't with her, it would still only be sex.

Always remember that.