TW - Indirect mentioning of depression and self harm in the last paragraph. 

"I know, right? She's the perfect girl!"

"Perfect Appearance."
I wish my nose weren't shaped as it is. 
I wish my skin were as clean as hers. 
I wish my smile wasn't so damn ugly. 

"Perfect Grades."
When was the last time I've handed in my work on time? 
When was the last time I've gotten a B or above? 
When was the last time I've actually been prepared for an exam? 

"Perfect Love Life."
Why does my heart start beating faster when she walks by, never he?
Why do I feel nothing when looking at the apparent "sexiest guy ever", but female actresses leave me with my palms sweaty?
Why can't I fall in love with a goddamn guy at least once?

"Perfect Friends."
No one listens, of course no one does, why would they listen to me? 
The way she's looking at me, I said something wrong again, didn't I? 
Why did I even get my hopes up that she would want to sit next to me? 

"Perfect Family."
Of course they don't even listen to my arguments and simply dismiss them with a casual "No".
Of course my sister gets to do whatever she wants, there are never consequences for "little miss adorable". 
Of course they scream at me first, even if I wasn't the one that did it. 

"Perfect Feelings."
I force my head up to look at the clock; it tells me I've been lying in my bed feeling empty and doing nothing for nearly three hours. 
I look at the sharp little knife in my hand, then to my leg, back to the tempting blade.
I burst into tears in the middle of a conversation, it's all too much, I can't do this anymore. 

"I wish I was like her."