{don't play song yet}

After a few minutes later Noah has classes so I decide to leave and take my mind off the whole ordeal. I figure Angela doesn't have classes so I go across campus and to her dorm room.

Once I get there, I laugh a bit at the giant gold star in the door. Ms. Extra.
I knock on the door and instead of Angela answering, it's Cara. I look up and swallow hard.
"Oh hey Mac... Uhm.. Angela is out getting some food."
I nod way too fast. "I'll just go to my dorm room then." I turn around to leave but I feel an all too familiar grasp on my wrist. I whimper a bit as she grabs a cut that's hidden under my hoodie.
"Please.. Come in. I've been meaning to catch up with you." I swear I could've broken down then and there. But I turn around and she smiles at me. She looks up at me with her brown eyes she knows I'm weak to. I sigh. Already regretting what I'm about to say.
"Sure." I smile at her. She smiles back and moves aside so I can go in. I sit on Angela's bed as Cara serves me a cup of coffee. My third one this morning. Nonetheless, I drink.
"So how's it been going...?" She asks, interrupting the uncommon silence and tension.

{Play song}

"I'm doing great!" I'm slowly dying. She smiles "That's awesome! How's your Insomnia?"
I smile and nod "It's getting better." I think about you every night. I can't sleep when you're not with me anymore.
"That's great. I actually got a new boyfriend if you haven't heard." My heart shatter into a thousand pieces. "I'm so happy for you! That's just awesome!" I cry about you every night and every morning.
"How's your life going?" She asks.
"Life is so good. I'm doing so good." I smile. But the truth is I'mma bout to lose it. I don't think I can do this if I'm not with you.

These are lies I tell myself that keep me alive.
I cut and cry. I beg for you. I plead to know what went wrong.
But you're just great. You're moving on. You're not suffering like I am.

After about half an hour of talking, Angie enters and Cara gets up. "Oh hey it actually looks like it's time for my class time. It was so nice catching up with you Mac. I'm so happy you're okay with us being friends." She says, grabbing her laptop and book bag.
"Y-yep. Have a nice day.." I say as she smiles and leaves.

I shatter. I break down crying. Angela immediately hugs me and holds me close to her. "I'm so sorry. If I would've known you were coming over, I would've never put you through that pain Machenzy. I'm so sorry." Angela apologizes several times. All I can do is lean into her and sob uncontrollably.

These are the lies I tell myself. The lies that are keeping me alive.