After I calm down, Angela offers to take me shopping. Typically I'd say no, but I do have too many black and grey clothes. Plus I really need to get out and get my mind off things. So I agree and here we are. Downtown Mall.
We walk through and I decide to let Angela dress me the whole time.
"Can you PLEASE wear a dress!!" She asks, practically jumping up and down like a child. I roll my eyes and laugh. "You can make me wear whatever you want, bro. It's all you. He'll, you can do my makeup and hair I'd you want."
I look up as I noticed she stopped walking. I turn to her and she almost has stars in her eyes. "You're such a child." I laugh.

It feels as though I can only truly smile when I'm with Angela. She genuinely makes me happy and I don't know what I would do without her.
"So I can like... Completely give you a make over...?" She asks cautiously.
I nod. "I need new clothes anyway. I really haven't grew much since highschool so my wardrobe is literally Leftover Emo from my highschool phase. Angela giggles. "It's not a phase mom. Gooosh." We both break out laughing 20 years old and we're still the weirdos we were from our preteen years.

Angela decides to go for 3 looks. A more masculine look, a feminine look, and a more gender neutral look. Seeing as I don't really have my own personal style yet, we're experimenting a bit.

The first outfit was a more masculine outfit. A binder to hide my natural feminine features, a t shirt, red flannel, and baggy blue jeans with some Jordans. "Why is flannel and Jordans immediately what you think of when you think Masculine?" I laugh.  
She shrugs. "Reminds me if Mr. Taylor."
I burst out laughing "My teacher from 6th grade!?"
She laughs.

Next outfit is the more feminine one. An olive green criss cross bralette type crop top, distressed skinny blue shorts. Knee high brown boots and cat ears with a choker.
"Why the cat ears exactly?" I ask confused.
"Cus it's cute! You're a feisty kitty cat!"
I make this weirded out face and she laughs.

Next outfit is the more gender neutral. A binder, this purple dress.. shirt type hybrid with an alien on it saying I Believe in Weirdness in star type writing, grey jeans above my knees, and purple conversation high tops. As for accessories, Angela decided on a grey beanie with a giant safety pin in it, and a feather necklace.
"I'm kind of into this one. It's comfortable and weird." I smile as I look into the mirror supplied in the changing room.
"Like you!" Angela giggles.
"Oh shut up Mrs. Golden star on my door!" I joke.
"It's not my fault I'm fabulous!" She flips her blue green aumbre  hair.
I laugh and I hope back in the changing room.

After all the outfits, I decide to make own style combining each aesthetic. I come out with my final result. A binder, a grey vintage T-shirt with the same design as the dress shirt thing, purple flannel around my waist, blue distressed jeans, purple converse high tops, and a grey cat ear beanie and a golden metal feather necklace.
"Yaaas Queen! Slaaay!" Angela cheers.
I roll my eyes and pose playfully.
Angela laughs. "What would you describe this look?"
I play with the feather necklace. "Gay Hipster Emo." I chuckle.
"Perfect. Can we go get your hair dyed Rainbow to complete the look?" She asks half jokingly.
I look up and smile. "Actually? Yeah."
Her eyes practically popped out of her head and she smiles brightly.

Suddenly I'm dragged down town to Great Clips. I'm carrying this accessory backpack from Hot Topic and I'm in the same outfit from the store. We paid for everything and got more outfits similar that go along with my style. So now I'm sitting in a chair waiting as my best friend tells the hair dresser how to trim and dye my hair. Angela offers to pay extra for the girl to do my makeup too but I decided to pay for that.

~°~°~°~

After everything is done I open my eyes and I smile widely.
"Like it?" The hair dresser asks.
"Holy fuck it's pink!" I laugh.
"I wasn't sure if you'd be into it but it's something different" Angela giggles.
I look at my new light pink hair with blonde highlights.
"I-its pink! And you cut it too... Holy fuck and my make up... Oh my God it's awesome I love it!" I can't stop smiling. My hair is shorter in the sides and back but not necessarily shaven. Then there a big fluffy tooft the the too, flowing down my right side. My make up is very simple but very different. Bright pink lipstick on one half with bright purple on the other side. My eyes have slight highlight in gold and cat eyeliner. I don't think I've ever been this happy. I stand up and hug the hair dresser and thank her. "You did an awesome job! Thank you so much!" She laughs and Pat's my back.

We leave as I put my cat beanie on. "I'm starving. It's already 4. Let's go get some Domino's and chill at my dorm?" I ask her.
"Oh yeah! Plus we can show Bailey your awesome new style."
I laugh as we get into the small Domino's. We order our pizza. Angela decides to get some drinks and ice cream from the Walmart down the street so I sit down at a table and play on my phone as I wait for the pizza. A man with hair down to his waist sits next to me in a bright green hoodie. I look up and see a familiar face. I can't quite place wear I've seen him though. "Hey.. do I know you from somewhere?" I ask him cautiously.
He looks up from his phone and tilts his head. "Machenzy?"
My eyes widen and I laugh "Mike? Oh god your voice dropped like hell!"
He blushes and smiles "Yep. You look so.. different. Last time I saw you your hair was right above your weights, you were a lot shorter, and you had no piercings. Now you have bright, colorful short hair, bold makeup, and like fifty piercings on each ear." He laughs.
I roll my eyes. "last time I saw you, your voice was higher pitched than mine."
He blushes a deeper red.

At that moment I remember all the times I secretly liked him. Then the time I finally decided to place a move on him and I kissed his cheek. My face goes pink and I look down, sighing. I regret breaking up with him. He was the one relationship I've had where he treated me correctly. I still really like him... I was just... Scared of commitment I guess after Cara.

After we talk for a bit, Angela comes back with the grocery bags. I nod at her and grab the pizza. "Good to see you again, Michael. Hope we see again." I smile falsely and Angela and I carry all our things to my dorm. The college dorms aren't too far away from the shops so we tend to walk everywhere.

As we're walking through the streets as the sun is going down, I start to think of what could've been if I had stayed with Michael. He's moved on seeing as he has a girlfriend but still. Everyone has moved on. So why can't I...?

I feel like everything is finally working out. But then you come back into my life and make my heart burst.