────────────── shameless
⨳ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝟬𝟬𝟰 . . . ꗃ ≀ ▊✹
❛ coke lines kill brain cells ! ❜ · ˚.‧ .

✹ . . . SHE DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO BE THERE AT A party with Sarah, Dante, and Topper. It was the next night, and they were at some random guy's house—some Kook's house with other Kooks. The place was already packed, which gave Lilla even more reason not to want to be there. But she had been convinced to go by Sarah, and in turn, Lilla convinced Dante to come along as well, not wanting to deal with the night alone since Topper and Sarah were all fine and dandy again and her best friend would probably be too wrapped up in her boyfriend for the rest of it.

Apparently, Topper had told Ward about John B. being on the boat and how he had borrowed the tank without asking, and that ended up with John B. being fired and him confronting Sarah about it after she left Los Morales, like she'd been the one to rat him out. He hadn't even given her a second to defend herself before storming off like a pissed-off child, according to the girl. Sarah and Topper were all good now, though, which had confused Lilla when Sarah told her and was still confusing her at that moment, but she didn't say anything about it.

Sarah and Topper had spent their day on the beach cleaning up debris from Agatha, all while getting drunk the whole time. Lilla hadn't gone with them, having to work another shift and not being in the mood to be out in the sun all day, especially now that she knew they'd been getting wasted while they were at it. Even Wheezie had taken a sip or two.

Sarah had been a little more sober when they arrived there, and Lilla was glad for it. Her best friend never really drank, much like her, so she was surprised that she had on the beach. She wondered if it was because of Topper. He really wasn't a good boyfriend in Lilla's eyes, but it wasn't her place to tell Sarah who she should and should not be with. Her feelings about the boy were clear to her best friend, and she was going to let her do what she wanted to do—be with who she wanted to be with. Sarah had done the same when Lilla was with her asshole of an ex.

There were people all around, in the pool, inside the house, and outside the house, drinking, smoking, and doing whatever it was that they could do to party and have a good time. Lilla wasn't drinking since she was the DD, and she was sure Sarah wasn't either, having already complained of a headache earlier. At least she hoped Sarah wasn't.

"Yo, Topper's on the roof!" a boy called out.

Lilla looked up at the boy, who was, in fact, on the roof, with his hands in the air and a cup in his hand, wearing nothing but his teal swimming trunks. She watched him shake his head in a drunken state, making a weird noise, and her expression turned into a look of disgust. He really was annoying. The others didn't seem to think so, however, because cheers exploded around them when they all focused on him. Lilla continued to watch him as he grabbed onto... Sarah's? hand and bent over to set his drink down as she came to the roof edge as well.

"Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!" people began chanting.

"Hi, guys!" She replied happily, standing up there in her pink two-piece with a bright, Sarah Cameron-esque smile on her face. Then she focused on Lilla, and her smile widened. "Hi, Lilla!" She waved to her best friend.

Lilla waved back, a small smile on her face as worry filled her mind. "Hi, Sarah!"

Sarah let out an almost howl-like sound. The cheers got louder, and people began to chant "Jump! Jump! Jump!" like the bunch of drunken idiots they were.

Lilla rolled her eyes, hoping that Sarah would come to her senses and realize that jumping off the roof into the pool would be a very stupid idea. She watched as Topper and Sarah talked, not really being able to hear what they were saying over the noise and loud music. Then Topper picked up his girlfriend, hauling her in his arms bridal-style. She watched as Sarah began to panic, holding onto him for dear life.

He was such a dumbass, Lilla thought.

"Whoo!" The cheers continued, with most everyone watching them and lifting their cups.

Lilla kept her focus on Topper and Sarah as he creeped closer to the edge, and her best friend continued to hold onto him tightly, clearly not wanting to jump or be dropped. Then he stepped off the edge, and Lilla's heart dropped, hearing Sarah let out a scream. Everyone followed the pair with their eyes, including Lilla, watching them land into the water with a splash.

It took a second—a second that Lilla was chewing on her lip, thinking her best friend might've died from the impact—and then both of them were coming up to the surface, the cheers growing louder at the sight, while Lilla sighed in relief.

"Can you believe this girl right here?" Topper asked the crowd as he pointed to Sarah, who was grabbing him again with a smile on her face. "The coolest chick in the OBX!" His words made his girlfriend laugh as she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. "That's what I'm talking about!"

Lilla crossed her arms over her chest, watching them with a slightly irked expression. Sarah was fine, and that was all that mattered, but she couldn't help the fact that she nearly had a heart attack every time her best friend did something like that. Turning around, she decided to head inside for another soda and to find Dante, wherever he was. She knew she'd probably find her brother with some girl doing something, like he did at most every party, but she prayed this time was different.

Just as she stepped inside, she nearly collided with a hard chest. She stopped in her tracks, short of actually running into the person, and looked up only to see none other than Rafe. He was smiling at some people who were greeting him, giving Lilla a view of the side of his face, and then he looked down at her with that same smirk as always, no doubt having felt her staring at him. His gaze trailed down the length of her body, and with an eye roll, not wanting to waste her time on him, Lilla just brushed past him.

It wasn't lost on her that his eyes followed her moves, his head turned over his shoulder, his focus on her ass like it had been at Los Morales the prior day. She didn't give him the satisfaction of looking back, however, simply making her way to the fridge as he moved on to talking to another girl. She grabbed her soda out of the fridge and cracked it open, receiving odd looks from the ones who were actually drinking. She just gave them tight smiles before her face fell flat with annoyance, and she walked away, going to find her brother.

When she did find him, he surprisingly wasn't making out with anyone. He was sitting on the couch, talking to some of his friends. It didn't seem like he was drinking either, which didn't shock her. She walked over to him, cutting through the middle of the conversation he was having as he and his friends all focused on her, some of them a little too much for her taste.

"Move over, Dante," she told him, gesturing with her hand for him to scoot over.

Dante opened his mouth to speak.

"Nah, he doesn't have to move, Lilla," a guy who was sitting next to Dante said. She wasn't even sure of his name. A smirk played on his face as they all looked over at him, one that Lilla was sure he thought could get him his way whenever he wanted. "There's room right here," he patted his lap, causing her face to twist in disgust.

Her eyes scanned over him as Dante hit his shoulder. "Ay, that's my sister." His expression read, What the fuck, dude?

Lilla gave her brother's friend a tight smile, not having the patience to deal with him. "Actually, how 'bout you"—she pointed a telling finger at him—"get up and fuck off, and then I can have your seat and Dante doesn't have to move?" It sounded like a suggestion, but it wasn't really a suggestion. Some of the other guys snickered like it was the best joke in history as his smirk dropped, and Lilla wondered how they were all eighteen and nineteen years old when they were acting like thirteen-year-olds whenever someone was called to the principal's office in the middle of class.

The boy just stayed in his spot for a moment, staring at her with annoyance.

"Get up," she repeated pointedly. And when he didn't listen, she went to hand Dante her drink.

He didn't take it as he turned to the guy. "Just get up, man. Trust me, I grew up with her; she will drag your ass out of that seat if she has to."

Dante's friend scoffed, rolling his eyes, but stood up from his seat anyway. He was taller than Lilla, and he tried to make that point clear as he looked down at her with irritation written all over his face.

She just stared up at him in return, a small smirk on her face. Her eyes remained on him and followed his movements as he turned away, still looking over his shoulder at her before facing forward and going somewhere else. Her face fell into a look of boredom once he was gone, and she plopped down in the seat, satisfied with herself, before taking a sip of her soda. But then her eyes caught onto Rafe, who was staring at her from across the room, where he was talking with some of his friends, and her satisfaction disappeared. Why was he staring at her? Her eyes narrowed over the rim of the can, and she continued to drink. Then she lowered it into both of her hands and kept staring at him.

He didn't look away for a long moment, not until someone else came up to him and hit him on the shoulder to catch his attention. He smiled at the guy, and they dabbed each other up. She looked away after that, focusing on Dante, who was still silent along with his friends.

"Where's Sarah?" her brother finally asked, glancing around the room as he leaned back against the back cushions of the couch. He met her gaze with barely raised brows. "I thought you two were going to hang out the whole time."

"She's with Topper," Lilla replied. "They're back on good terms now, I guess."

Dante just nodded and focused on his friends.

She slumped into her seat as the boys' conversation picked back up where it'd left off, zoning out as she stared at the can in her hands and messed with the tab. The truth was, she wasn't really a big party girl, not really finding enjoyment in being so drunk that you stumble or so high you don't know what's going on around you. Or just being drunk or high in general. It wasn't her scene. She didn't like being out of control of herself in any way, shape, or form. She'd witnessed too much drunkenness and unsoberness when she was a kid, and it put her off the whole thing. She believed Dante was the same. It wasn't because of their parents—no, those two were, and always had been, as straight-laced as it came, only drinking the occasional glass of wine with dinner. It was some others—others that she didn't like to think or talk about.

Parties were a big thing with Kooks and Pogues, though, and if she didn't want to be a total loner, she had to come to them. Sarah enjoyed them sometimes, too, even when she didn't drink, but she wasn't big into it either. Not as much as some, at least.

Lilla stayed in that seat for a good while, until she was bored of just sitting there. She got up and made her way to the open back doors, wanting to find Sarah, even if she was with Topper still. She stepped on the large porch and glanced around, only to spot Rafe, with his back to her, sitting with a group of others. That wasn't unusual, but when she stepped a bit closer, she saw that they were cutting lines of a white powder, which was difficult to identify, even to a non-user, while he counted money, no doubt money that they'd given him for the yayo.

Her mouth fell open a bit as she took in the sight, mostly staring at the back of Rafe's head, not having known he did cocaine. Well, he wasn't doing it at the moment, but he was selling it. She had no doubt in her mind where he got it from, and her stomach churned. Why would rich boy Rafe Cameron need to sell cocaine?

"Yo, Lilla," a guy named Jake called her over with a wave of his hand. Then he gestured to the table when she looked at him, his eyes bloodshot and his brows raised. "You want in on this?"

She stayed in her spot, not wanting anywhere near it, as Rafe and some others turned to look at her with raised brows. "No, I'm good."

"Come on, don't be a buzzkill, Lils," Kelce added, smiling.

She rolled her eyes at him calling her a buzzkill, the use of the nickname, and the fact that he was talking to her as if they were good friends. "I would rather keep my brain cells intact than snort that shit and kill them for maybe a few hours of a high that will only make me feel like shit once I come out of it," she retorted, her voice full of sarcasm. "So, no, thank you."

"Whatever," Kelce muttered, shaking his head as he looked away from her.

"When the high ends, that's when you get high again," another guy added, causing some others to laugh and say their agreements.

"That's called an addiction," Lilla replied, then went to walk away before they could continue. She bumped into Topper when she turned and looked at him as he brushed past her, going towards the table full of people. "Topper, where's Sarah?" she asked, following him with her eyes.

He just looked back at her but didn't reply as Rafe noticed him.

"Top! Hey! Top! Top!" The boy jumped up from his seat, going over to his friend. He tossed his arm over his shoulder and pulled him closer, facing them towards the others. Lilla had a feeling he hadn't just been selling cocaine. "Hey, everybody. Hey, this is Top, all right?"

With her stomach churning painfully, Lilla turned around again, really wanting to find her best friend. She headed down the stairs and towards the pool, looking around for Sarah in the process since that was the last place she'd seen her. She didn't spot her anywhere down there, so she went over to someone. "Hey, have you seen Sarah?"

"Uh," the girl looked around, then focused on Lilla. "I think the last time I saw her, she was going to one of the balconies with Top."

"All right, thank you."

The girl hummed in response before turning back to her friends.

Lilla walked away, going towards the house again. She walked inside, heading upstairs and to the balcony she had a feeling Sarah was at. The two of them had gone there before at one of the past parties at this house, seeing as there were chairs up there and they could find the stars so clearly.

When she came to the door, she peeked out, finding Sarah sitting on one of the chairs alone, like she'd suspected, with her head in her hands, her fingers threaded through her hair. Opening the door, Lilla stepped out and made her way to her best friend. She sat down next to her and gently placed her hand on her shoulder. "What happened?"

Sarah sighed, dropping her hands to her knees as she rested her head on Lilla's shoulder while a hand ran over her hair. She was quiet for a long moment and then finally spoke. "We were kissing and about to..." she paused, chewing on her cheek, "do things, but then I changed my mind and he got upset."

Lilla felt her blood boil hearing this. Now, it was really confirmed; Topper was such an asshole. "That's his problem then," she told her, still running her hand over her hair and keeping her voice even, not irritated like she was feeling. She was trying to keep from spilling everything she felt about Topper, knowing that it wasn't what Sarah needed. "You're always allowed to change your mind, Sarah."

"I know," she muttered.

They fell silent.

"I wanna go home," Sarah whispered, her voice sad.

"Then that's where I'll take you," Lilla replied gently, receiving a small smile from her best friend as she lifted her head and looked up, which she returned. They both stood up from the chair after that and entered the house. Lilla helped Sarah as they went down the stairs so she wouldn't stumble and then found him still sitting on the couches with his friends. She walked up to him, letting Sarah remain a step back behind her. "Dante, we're ready to go. Are you?"

"Yeah." He nodded with no hesitation, standing up from the couch. He looked at each of his friends, dabbing some of them up. "See y'all later."

"See ya, Dante," they replied.

The three of them exited the house, going to Lilla's car. Dante sat in the back so that Sarah could sit in the front, and Lilla drove them to Tanny Hill. The entire ride, which wasn't long, was silent, with only the faint sound of music coming from the radio. Lilla focused on the road; Sarah leaned her head against the window and looked out at the passing scenery, while Dante laid his head back against his headrest and closed his eyes, not going to sleep but resting.

When they came to a stop in front of the driveway, Lilla put her car in park and looked over at the girl beside her, who had lifted her head. "You gonna be okay?" she asked Sarah, giving her a sympathetic look.

Sarah nodded, humming. "Yeah."

"If you need me, you can call me, you know that?" Lilla raised her brows, her voice gentle and a telling look on her face. "I'll come over, no matter what."

"I know, Lil." Sarah smiled. "That's why I love you."

Lilla leaned in and pulled her into a hug, which was immediately returned. "I love you too." She pulled back, keeping her hands on her arms as she looked over her face.

Sarah turned to the door, opening it, and got out of the car. She rested her hand on the side of the door as she gave Lilla one last look, then glanced into the backseat at Dante, who offered her a small smile. "See you later, Dante."

"See ya."

Sarah shut the door, and Lilla watched her go inside before she put her car in drive and went home. When she and Dante entered the house, they could hear the TV going in the living room, letting them know that their parents were still awake. They always were whenever the twins went out, wanting to make sure their kids got home safely, which was usually earlier than any of the other teenagers in Figure Eight. Dante closed the door behind them as Lilla hung her keys on the key rack next to the door, and then they headed towards the sound.

Unsurprisingly, they found their parents sitting in their pajamas and watching a movie. They laughed at whatever had just happened in the scene and then looked up when they realized Dante and Lilla were standing there. "Hi, mi amors," their mom said kindly, both of their parents smiling at them. "Did you have fun?"

Lilla and Dante looked at each other, then focused on their parents. "No more than usual," Lilla answered, setting her bag down on one of the chairs as they made their way over to the couch.

"Oh? Did something happen?" their dad asked.

"Nothing that won't be forgotten," Dante replied.

That wasn't true for Lilla, and she knew it. Her mind was already going over what Sarah had told her before they left and the fact that Rafe was doing and selling cocaine. It was all that she could think about—now and when they had been on their way home.

The twins sat between their parents, both kicking off their shoes as they settled into the comfortable couch, and focused on the TV in front of them, watching whatever their parents were watching. Their mom brushed Lilla's hair down with one hand and messed with the back of Dante's with the other, her arm resting on the back of the couch.

"There's leftover Aji de Gallina and rice from tonight in the fridge if you two are hungry, or I can make you something else if you want," their dad said, resting his arm on his wife's, across the back of the couch.

"I'll eat in a bit," Lilla replied, snuggling closer to her mom.

Dante nodded, offering a smile to his dad. "Me too."

With that, they all fell silent as they continued to watch the movie, Dante and Lilla having come in halfway through it. And once it was over, they headed towards the kitchen, where Lilla and Dante ate some leftovers, which were literally mouthwatering—a perk of having a chef for a dad and a mom who had many family recipes. Then they, wanting to spend more time together before they called it a night, decided to bake cookies together.

These were the kind of nights the four of them preferred to have.

It was the most Lilla had laughed in a long time.

✹ . . . ella's thoughts ! · ˚.‧ .
don't really know how i feel about this chapter tbh- it's definitely a lot better now that i've edited but something feels off idk 😭

i hope you enjoyed nonetheless!

i'm almost done writing act one (only two and a half chapters left—everyone cheer!!) so i'll definitely start updating frequently from now on! i love how this act has turned out, and i hope you do too, once it's all published !!

make sure to comment and vote 🫶🏻

kisses.

━━━━━━━━━━━━ 𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦
𝗔 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗬 . . . © -lostgardens,     2024

word count. 3738.   written. 9.11.24.   published. 10.22.24.