Ayeon was my childhood friend. I was a year older than him, and we were so close back then.

He used to be so popular amongst all the girls in our high school, the nostalgia. Yet one day, his parents and younger sister died. His relatives even stole all the fortune and insurance that was supposed to be his, leaving him nothing but a lousy apartment.

That day on the funeral, I saw how devastated he were.

He looks so broken when he cries.

But seeing him cutting for the first time, it made me so powerless. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, it hurts me seeing him like that, It's frustrating.

I'm not doing all this to make myself feel good. I don't want him to feel grateful. I just wanted to help him, because he's my friend.

"Jin, what're the results?!" Kiel rushed up from his seat the moment I left from the psychiatrist's office. On my left hand lies the results of the physical exam.

"It was hereditary. I have blood cancer." I said.

Kiel's eyes widened. I'm sure he's looking at me with pity right now. "Jin..."

"You don't have to look at me with those eyes, Kiel. Don't pity me, ok? Besides, I already knew it for a long time ago."

Even before, I knew something was wrong with me. But I'm more afraid to be a burden to anyone, than to let myself suffer.

I'm scared, I can't do anything but to accept the pain.

I'm tired... I'm exhausted...

But then, who will help my family if I got hospitalized? We don't have enough money. In the end, I'll let everyone miserable.

I don't want that.

I know painkillers aren't enough. I know a day like this would happen someday. But still, I'm scared.

I don't want to die, but I sometimes wish I do.

"My family... Ayeon... Kiel... What should I do? I don't want to leave you guys..." Tears started falling like rain, it's as if the pain all gathered through my eyes.

"So that's where you use your painkillers in your bag, huh?" Kiel mumbled. "Jin, you should take chemotherapy."

"But I don't have the-"

"You always say that! You always say that, but... I don't want you to go... I want you to live..."

Kiel, you're a great friend.

Those moments when I was alone, you're always there to keep me company. I'm truly grateful.

"I want to go home..." I muttered, smiling as I wiped away all his tears. He held my hand and caressed my fingers, before agreeing to take me home.

He even made sure that I got home safely after that, I couldn't ask for a better friend.

"Jin, you're home! I made dinner tonight, hurry up and eat!" I was welcomed with a warm greeting from my mom.

She pulled me closer and let me have a seat, my siblings were all gathered from the table, too.

"Sorry, Jin. I forgot to buy some groceries the other day, so I figured I'd go and get some. Even though, we don't have much money..." My sister chuckled, scratching the back of her neck.

"Let's eat!" This feeling, a family dinner, it's nice.

Somehow, I still feel that I'm so lucky regardless of my situation, and that's the real misfortune of my life. That's what's keeping me hold back from everything.

But the truth is, I just wanted to run away. I just wanted to escape everything. "Mom, I'm going somewhere... I'll be right back."

Before leaving the house, I made sure to wear a coat because of the cold weather. It's really windy outside, even nighttime.

I also don't know what's gotten into me, but I suddenly wanted to go on the rooftop of the tower only exclusive for sightseeing.

I wanted to have a view of the city. I wanted to ease my mind.

I wanted to...

"Jin! Don't do it! Please!" I gasped when I heard a familiar voice behind my back, it was Ayeon's. "Please, don't jump!"

Oh, was I about to jump?

"How did you find me?" I asked, standing at the barricade of the rooftop, which I didn't even notice. "Like you said, I'm a hypocrite. Why do you want to stop me?"

"I... heard from Kiel. Why... Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what? That I have cancer?" I laughed scoffingly. "I always wanted to have a close look at the city... It's like a dream."

"Jin, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that. I became so insensitive and ignorant, I never thought about what you really felt. I'm so sorry..." It caught me off guard when he started walking towards me, and stood at the barricade with a huge gap between us. "The truth is... I really like you."

Huh?

"You mean, as friends?" I asked.

"No dummy! You really wanted me to say it again, do you?!" He shouted, feeling a bit vexed. "I like you, so please, reconsider taking a treatment... Jin, I want you to stay with me..." We're five meters apart from each other, yet I can totally see him crying.

What's with the confession, though? "My mind is a mess, right now... I want it to end."

"You know... Ever since middle school, I always looked up to you. I tried luring all the girls in, wondering if you'd notice me. But in the end, I became a burden to you... I'm sorry..."

"Is saying sorry all you can say?" I groaned, taking a few steps towards him. "You're not a burden, because I insisted on helping you out in the first place." My eyes began blurry again, probably because of the tears I held this whole time. "I'm not trying to jump as well, because I can't. I wanted to stay with you guys more..."

I wanted to live...

Without any thinking, I ran towards him, and he ran towards me. I wanted to embrace him, just like what I always do.

I miss him, I want him, I'm so happy to hear that he likes me, too. "Ayeon-!"

"JIN!!!"

But, why?

It's so unfair.

Why am I falling?

I'm falling from the ground, from the depth of this rummaging emotions. "AYEON!" My foot slipped, just when I was about to hug him.

This is so unfair.

"JIN! HOLD MY HAND!" My heart raced like crazy when he jumped from the building without any hesitation, just to reach out for my hand.

Now I can't close my eyes.

"Why did you-?!"

"I'd rather die together with you, than to live without you by my side!" He exclaimed as my hand finally reached his, and he started embracing me one last time. "I love you so much, Jin... Close your eyes now."

"Ayeon..." Even on my last breath, I can't do anything.

Life is so unfair.

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1 week later...

"Seriously? There aren't any corpses found when the two young men fell from the tower?!" Someone blurted out, shocked.

"Yeah. Authorities claim that it might be just a misunderstanding. But witnesses says that they saw them falling from the tower." The other man informed. "And the mystery about the two missing men, was that there aren't any corpses found on the scene, but a coat and a pair of shoes, which was said to be theirs, was found lying on the ground where witnesses say the origin of the fall began."

The end...