My entrance into the family library in the House of Wind is certainly a dramatic one even though it's not my intention. I burst in to find Cassian with the ladies and brandy held in their hands, but all three blanches at the sight of me. "By the Mother." Feyre gasps, but Cassian seems like the only person who can move. He stomps towards me, but I hold up a hand before he can touch me.

"It's not my blood," I tell him and he stops in his tracks, but only a slice of worry slakes off his shoulders. "You're alright?" My eyes look between the two females sitting in the soft armchairs. Nesta is pale with her grey-blue eyes scanning me from head to toe while Feyre just seems to be in shock. Still, she manages to nod and I release a long, relieved breath at the fact.

"Is the king—the city—"

"No sign of him," Cassian answers the High Lady and more relief floods my heart before all eyes go to the door. Shadows swarm around me as I turn, but settle slightly when I see its Rhys, despite the rage coming off him in waves.

"What did you give it." He asks Feyre and I've never heard him use such a voice—devoid of anything but ice-cold anger. Not with her, I think.

"It—it said is wanted company. Someone to tell it about life. I said yes."

"Did you volunteer yourself."

"No," Feyre answers and downs the rest of her glass of brandy. "It just said someone. And it didn't specify when. Are the Ravens dead?" She questions and Rhys glances to me when he answers.

"They nearly were when I arrived. It left enough of their minds functioning for me to have a look. And finish them when I was done." His eyes are steady on mine, but he doesn't try to reach into my mind. I'm grateful. I'm not sure what I'd say or what he wants me to tell him. Despite his assurances, I find myself reaching out to Azriel now that I'm free of the warding from the library.

"Are you alright? Are you safe with Mor and Elain?" I ask and don't have to wait more than a second for a response.

"Kaira." The relieved sigh soothes my heart more than anything else. "Yes, we're safe. You. Where are you? Are you hurt?"

"I'm with the others. We're all unharmed." I respond even though my voice is flat across the bond just how I'm sure it would be if I'd spoken.

"I need you. To see you." He says and I've never heard such a strain in his voice. My head shakes slightly before I respond.

"Soon." I'm not sure how soothing it would be to see me stained with steadily drying blood.

"What's wrong?" Rhys thunders and my attention snaps to him. "What's wrong is that those pieces of shit got into my house and attacked my mate. Attacked my sister. What's wrong is that my own damn wards worked against me, and you had to make a bargain with that thing to keep yourself from being taken. What's wrong—"

"Calm down," Feyre commands gently. He takes a deep breath that barely loosens his shoulders, but it's something.

"Did you see what it was—that thing down there?" Bryaxis. I name it and push the things that it said to the side. Not the time.

"I guessed enough about it to close my eyes. I only opened them when it had stepped away from their bodies to reveal..." He looks to me and I stand tall under his gaze. I'm not ashamed of what I did. "Kaira did most of the damage. Nearly all of it, actually." Eyes turn to me and I focus on them rather than the skin still piled under my fingernails. I nearly tell them then what Bryaxis said, but Rhys barely shakes his head. He saw what I did, part of it anyway, and apparently knows more about it than I do. Did he hear what Bryaxis said?

"Go. Wash up." He tells me and I hesitate, then vanish. Although I don't winnow to my washroom.

"Roof." No sooner have I sent the word than he appears in a rush of shadows. All breath whooshes out of him when he sees me and I feel him searching the bond for any indication of pain. "It's not mine," I tell him and don't cower when he marches over and smooths his hands onto my face, smearing blood across my cheeks without a second of hesitation.

"You're unharmed." He breathes and I nod while my hands slide onto his, my eyes shutting as I feel the roughness of his scars. Az doesn't flinch or pull away at the blood I smear onto his skin.

"It was me," I tell him and my eyes open to see his swimming brown eyes. "I'd nearly killed them with my bare hands when Rhys came in. I did my best to protect Feyre and Nesta; tugging at their uniforms to slow them down, whispering in their ears, but then I couldn't do anything else but throw myself at them—"

"You did well, Kaira. More than well. They're safe. You're safe." He murmurs with his thumbs gently skimming my cheeks as I cling to his wrists.

"I nearly froze, Azriel," I tell him with our eyes focused on each other's. "The sight of the soldier's emblems...I almost did nothing."

"But you didn't." He assures me with steel under his every word. "You have more within you than you know." My lips press together as the words that Bryaxis said stick to the roof of my mouth. I should wait. Rhys shook his head for a reason, so I should wait to talk to him about this before telling anyone else.

"I have to go. Clean. Get this off me." I say and he sighs but takes a step back even though it looks physically painful for him to do so.

"If you need me, just call." He says and I scan the blood I'd smeared onto him that he doesn't even care about.

"I will," I answer and some weight lifts off his shoulders at the promise. Then I winnow into my washroom into the accursed tub and start dumping water over myself fully clothed. By the time I feel close to clean, I exit to find Nesta, Rhys, and Feyre at the top of the stairs. I'd missed everything then.

"I'll come explain it to you later. With your permission." Azriel says across the bond and I send him gratitude in return before considering the three. Rhys and Feyre look tired even though the High Lady looks like she'd like to head back downstairs, while Nesta's eyes are on me. No, not the right time to speak with them about any of it. Nesta gives me the barest of nods before sweeping into her room and I sigh at the clear dismissal. Not that I blame her. I'm sure the vision of me covered in red will haunt her for a long time to come. Feyre takes Rhys' hand, but he waves her on without him while moving towards me.

"May I come in for a minute?" He asks politely and I blink, but open the doors, then wince as he beholds the damaged room. Azriel and I cleaned it, but there's still no furniture and certain black marks that we couldn't get out. Rhys lifts a hand and everything turns pristine, then furniture takes the place of what I'd shattered. Different, but the same style and just as nice.

"I was thinking that it might be better if I moved. In case something worse happens." The words are soft in the quiet of the room and Rhysand takes his time turning back to me.

"You're welcome to move if you like, but I've already put wards on this room in case something like that happens again." He tells me and I feel a little relief, but I'm still waiting to hear why he's actually here. "I'm sorry." He breathes and my brows furrow as his eyes meet mine. "I thought your magic was more like mine and it is, a mix of Azriel's and mine compared to everyone else's, but something wholly different. Wholly your own. I should have seen something like this coming. Especially given what happened at the lake." His hand gestures to the room.

"Then today, I saw the truth of your power. How the shadows bend to you in a way that they never have for Azriel, never have for any Shadowsinger. You're more. The same, but not quite." His voice is level and without a trace of fear, yet I feel myself growing uneasy with each word. "I'm not sure the world has ever seen something like you." My eyes drop to his feet as I swallow.

"You want me to leave Velaris," I say smoothly. After seeing what he had earlier, along with my outburst here, I've been deemed too much of a threat to have here. "I understand. Really." I force out and even though it hurts, I truly mean it. I don't want them to live in fear. Don't want to cause harm when I've been shown such kindness.

"By the Mother, it's shit like this that really makes it clear that we're family." He comments with a scoff and my eyes snap back to his. "You're family, Kaira. You'll be welcome in Velaris, this house, my life, for eternity. After what you did today, I could kiss you, hug you, give you absolutely everything in my possession and it still wouldn't express my gratitude. You protected Feyre and someone she holds dear. I will never forget that." He tells me in a burst of breath while I stand there staring at him in surprise.

"It...it wasn't for you. I wanted those soldiers dead more than anyone and besides," I hesitate slightly as I think through the truth of the words I'm going to say, then let them tumble out. "I care for them. All of you. You're...you're all I have." And that makes them family. Especially given how they'd all fought for me in some way and chased back the cold that threatened to engulf my heart. Cold that still lurks close at times.

"We're all each other has. Along with this city. Along with its people." He murmurs and I can see the guilt on his shoulders at what happened today. The people he thinks he failed.

"And since you care for them, so do I." I assure him and his eyes brighten slightly as I plow on. "I want to fight. I want to go to the meeting coming up and I want to be of use." His brows raise, but there's a whisper of a smile on his face.

"Another Shadowsinger at my side certainly would be a statement. Not to mention one with your other talents." He says and considers me another moment. "I'd be glad to have you, Kaira. Just work on your magic a bit so you don't accidentally shred someone to pieces. I'll pitch in when I can." Relief floods my chest and I take the chance to step forward and claim his hand still stained with red. I find it doesn't bother me.

"I'll do what I can to protect you all." Keeping them safe will be my number one priority. Them, and the things they hold dear like this city. That slight smile passes over his face as his hand squeezes mine.

"Good thing you're on the job, then. We're all fucking dumbasses."

* * *

I'm still working on getting all the skin out from under my nails and chucking the remnants into the fire when Azriel appears with a tray of several mugs of molten chocolate. I perk up instantly at the sight, more of Az than the chocolate, but happily accept a mug when he gets close. "You know these chairs are for sitting?" He sasses as he surveys me sitting on the floor as close to the fire as possible.

"On the floor, it's like I'm sitting on top of a big table. I can lay things out." I gesture to the books I'd swiped from the library about the other courts, shadowsingers, and different kinds of magic splayed all around me. "Plus the closer I am to the fire the more I can feel it on my wings." They wiggle slightly and I shiver at the heat that flits across them. Azriel hums and settles beside me with the tray before setting it to the side.

"Reading up?" He asks as he scans my reading choices. My eyes lift to his as my hands squeeze the mug I'm holding.

"I'm going to the meeting of the High Lords. Rhys gave me his permission. Although my...official job title has yet to be given to me." He'd promised to think on it before walking to his own room where I've no doubt Feyre will soothe him. Azriel releases a low, long breath before nodding.

"I'll be glad to have you at my side." He says and some of my nerves fade. If Azriel believes I can handle it and will have my back if I don't, I can tackle anything. "But you'll only learn so much from books." His eyes glimmer as I set down the one in my lap and look pointedly at him.

"Why do you think a young, single female such as myself invited you to her room at such a late hour other than to wring you for information?" I tease and I'm glad to hear his deep, rumbling laugh that brings a soft smile to my face. It's needed after a day like today.

"You may have misled me with that comment the other day." He reminds me and my brows raise innocently.

"What comment?" I ask and press my lips together when his cheeks brush pink. "Certainly a male should know without a doubt whether I've invited him to bed or not." I tease again, but Azriel lets loose a soft growl before he cuts it off. He stares at the fire for a moment as the joking air around us grows more serious.

"I'm sorry. The bond," he shakes his head and swallows before looking back at me with tender, apologetic eyes. "imagining you with another is...difficult." To say the very least of it, it seems. I think of how I feel when I see the little touches Mor gifts him and my stomach jerks. I understand.

"I've never claimed to be a virtuous woman, Azriel, but I've never invited a male to bed." His jaw locks at the unspoken fact that it didn't keep them from breaking in anyway, but he's kind enough not to mention it.

"I wish, for your sake, that you had." He murmurs and I freeze. "So that your first experience was a good one." My eyes burn at the wish as I reach out and claim a scarred hand. Mor comes to mind and her gift of a gentle first kiss. Perhaps I could come around to the same with other things someday.

"What happened wasn't me. I never gave any of them anything, they took it from me." His hand tightens on mine and I see a flash of that icy fury in his eyes before it fades as he focuses on me. "One day, hopefully, I'll be willing to give myself to someone and it'll be my choice. It'll be me." I share softly and take comfort from our shadows drifting in and out of each other like dancers at a ball.

"And a lucky person they'll be to receive you." He says and my heart warms before I shove my books to the side so we can sit knee to knee, then pester him with all my questions. Azriel tells me everything that happened while I washed up, he tells me about the High Lords, the other positions in a court, and anything else that I ask of him. Our hands slide over one another's most of the time, soaking in the touch we thought we'd never get to have.

Eventually, I grow tired and he guides me to my bed, but when he tries to leave, I catch his hand. "Stay," I ask and his brows furrow. "In case my shadows get out of hand. I...I'd feel better if you were here." The words are tired and a little slurred, but he nods once. He leaves and returns with a cot. I'm not sure where he got it, but he sets it up where I can see him. Our eyes are still on each other when I fall asleep.