Rhys tells me I've got to put on a few more pounds before starting to train anything, so another week goes by with me lounging about either house. Mor visits once or twice, but it seems like her brutes occupy most of her time. I see Elain only once before I have to walk away. Her room is too bright and I can't take the amount of light that surrounds her. Yelling starts floating to me on the wind or down the hall from Nesta and another male, but I don't go to investigate. Afterward, Nesta sometimes comes to visit and we sit quietly together as if all she desires is to be with someone who leaves her alone. I'm glad to comply because sometimes that's exactly what I need too.

I gain back some weight and it's good to see my cheeks filling out a bit even if I still feel empty on the inside. I still couldn't bring myself to touch the keys of that beautiful piano. I'm huddled by the fire with chocolate when Mor pops in with more excitement in her step than usual. "Ready to meet those brutes I go on about?" She asks and I've barely nodded before we're stepping through the folds to the house in the city. "They've heard me go on and on about you, so don't be worried if they know everything about you. Also, don't hesitate to slap them in the face if they annoy you. Worse punishment is also allowed." She grins at me as we step into the sitting room where Rhysand sits beside two males with hulking wings. I cling a bit tighter to Mor as the three turn to the both of us.

"Should have gotten out while these two were still stuck in bed whining like children." Rhys teases and the one to his left rolls his eyes while the one to his right barely smirks. Both are tall and broad. Warriors to strike fear into soldiers and apparently, breakable young women like me.

"She was waiting for the main event, naturally." One stands and tilts his head to me politely with his shoulder-length black hair sliding with the movement. "Cassian at your service, any service at all." He winks at me while Mor shakes her head. His voice is familiar and I name it as the one so often yelling with Nesta. He seems perfectly likable.

"I'll tell her to call you when she needs a maid then." The female comments a tad more sharply than usual. "You'd look nice in one of their cute little outfits."

"I certainly would since I look good in everything." Cassian winks at me before settling back down on the chair next to Rhys which has been edited to fit his wings. My eyes turn to the other Illyrian and freeze on swirls of color warmer and browner than my hazel eyes have ever been. Shadows dance and leap all over his body as if enticing me to come closer to play. His eyes widen and I know that my own shadows are doing the same.

"Azriel, the wearer of shadows," I recall before I realize I've crossed the entire room to stand less than a few feet away from the three males without shaking.

"Kaira, the singer who calls to the darkness." He names me and his voice is ever so soft. I don't realize when he's taken my hand and don't try to pull it away when he holds it. His touch is different from those guards, even from Rhys. I discover why when I glance down to find his hands are covered in scars. He follows my gaze and moves to pull away, but I cling onto him a bit tighter as if to say that I am not afraid of such scars. Our shadows mingle for a moment and I shiver when his brushes against mine, then we step back from one another.

"A pleasure," I mutter and he nods with eyes steady on mine. I look to the others and find they're all staring at the two of us. My feet carry me to the chair farthest away from everyone else while Mor sits next to Azriel with slightly furrowed brows.

"We've another Shadowsinger in the house. Perfect." Cassian gripes half-heartedly while his eyes scan me interestedly. "Mor told us your harrowing tale while we were being poked and prodded by healers-"

"It's called keeping you alive, smartass-"

"And it was all we could cling to while she taunted us. Good to see another pretty face too since Rhys won't go get Feyre." The last sentence is a dagger wrapped in silk aimed for Rhysand, but he just sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair as he takes it.

"I'm glad you both are healing," I tell them softly even as Mor leans back on the couch and puts her feet in Azriel's lap. His hand rests lightly on her ankles and it's clear this is a normal position for the both of them. I'm not sure why that fact makes something twist inside me.

"You might be glad now, but just wait until you get to know them." Rhys comments and Cassian nudges him lightly.

"True. If you knew us, then you'd be even more grateful." The warrior grins and something in me wants to grin back, but I just...can't.

"Alright, time for food. Az needs sustenance." Mor pats his shoulder as the corner of his mouth lifts and we all head to the table in the other room. I linger in the back so I can see who sits where then decide where I want to be. Rhys settles in his usual spot at the head and holds his hand out where I sat the other day so no one sits there. Azriel settles to the left with Mor across from him and Cassian across from my empty seat. I take a breath and round the table, then settle down a bit stiffly in my seat. I glance to my left and Azriel gifts me a small, reassuring smile.

Shadows flicker over our chairs and even when I look back to Rhysand who is watching us very closely, I can feel when mine brush against Azriel's. The High Lord smirks and waves over the table to reveal piles of food. Steam floats off most every plate and I relish in the heat emanating from the common country-style dinner. A mug of chocolate also appears beside my water glass and the corner of my lips lift at the sight.

"Since you'll soon be starting your training with me, I thought that maybe you'd also like to start some physical training," Rhys suggests and I blanch. The thought of training with someone that I don't know and feeling their hands on me in any capacity has panic clawing up my throat.

"No." One word that I was never allowed to say before echoes through the hall and the room shakes slightly with its power, then settles. Rhys and I don't look away from one another before I feel those talons skimming the smoke in my mind, but I shake my head. I still don't trust him enough to try and lower the walls in my mind. Instead, I send him a shadow messenger which he whispers to, then sends back to me.

"No one else has seen the memory I shared with you and I'm guessing no one else has seen what you showed me. You may be able to protect yourself from magic, but clearly not physically. You need to know how to defend yourself." I swallow as the words swirl around in my head before he adds a few more. "I swore that you would never be hurt here. You're under my protection." I don't doubt he means what he says, but I can't even trust my own mind right now. My next messenger says as much while Mor and Cassian have a quiet conversation. Azriel is observing his High Lord and me carefully.

Rhys nods like he understands and I believe he does, but then he shrugs. "It's up to you. Try, or give up." He offers and a flash of hopelessness dashes through me.

"I showed you one memory of hundreds, hundreds, nearly each with a different person," I murmur and the room becomes deathly quiet. His hands clench into fists and his swirling violet eyes harden into glittering gems.

"Then show me." He dares and a temper I didn't even know I had flares in my gut.

"No." I spit and the chandelier above us shivers.

"Why not?" Rhys drawls while he leans back in his chair. "You seem keen to compare our experiences. Why not do so directly?" He asks with raised brows while I feel like my blood is starting to boil.

"No," I repeat and my chair creaks from how hard I'm squeezing the arms.

"Rhys." A warning from the male next to me that we both ignore.

"You're clinging to it because you think that it's all that you are anymore. I bought the same lie once and kept everything to myself. Let it fester and sore like an infected wound." He goes on while I steam.

"It is all I am," I tell him without looking away from his steady eyes as that fire in my stomach gutters. "My family is dead. I traded dying next to them for this, for that pit. I don't have anything else." My voice fades and I slump slightly in my seat even as I see Azriel's shadows flare next to me as if upset at my words.

"You're more than your family." He says softly and my eyes flit to his.

"And what about darling Feyre?" Rhys entices, but my head shakes.

"She doesn't care about me. I doubt she even knows my name."

"And what about us? Have you forgotten our names already?" Cassian offers with a crooked grin before I stand.

"Don't pretend any of you give a flying shit either. I'm...I'm going back to my room." Rhys' brows furrow and his mouth opens before I reach for the shadows, then vanish before reappearing in my chambers.

Days pass and I don't allow any visitors. The only people that come in are the maids who can't seem to see me if I keep to the shadows. My back begins breaking out in some sort of rash that itches day and night driving me absolutely mad, but I don't ask for assistance. I'd rather the pain than the emptiness. Soon, I've spent a little more than a month in this strange place with these strange people. A mug of chocolate accompanies almost every meal, a silent reminder, and sometimes it's all I touch on the tray. The gnawing hunger in my gut had vanished and any food I eat tastes like nothing despite the rich spices that once thrilled me.

I'm in my favorite spot on the floor when I see the shadows ripple near the door and sigh. "You could have knocked." I bid quietly and glance up when the darkness takes shape into a male with wings. Surprise flits over my face at the sight of Azriel. I thought it would be Rhysand.

"I have. You haven't answered."

"That's an answer in itself, isn't it?" I return and slide to the ledge to let my feet hang over the edge. It feels good to feel the breeze here and the drop makes my heart beat faster. Still, even as I stare out at the beauty, I'm aware of every movement the male makes on the other end of the room.

"Would you like to go out?" He offers and my head instantly shakes.

"No." I don't belong down there amidst all that life. I'm just a shell.

"Would you like food?"

"No."

"Would you like...company?" My head turns towards him as I shift to the side a little into the light. I watch his eyes take in the same outfit he'd last seen me in before snapping back to mine. Our eyes steady on one another's before mine slide over his wings that leak shadows. Curiosity bites at me despite myself.

"You're a Shadowsinger," I state and he nods. "Would you...teach me?" His eyebrows raise at the question, but I want to know what else I can do. What else he can do. He inclines his head and I fold my leg under my other that sways over the cliff as I face him fully. The male sits on the floor and I watch as his wings stretch to readjust to this position. His brows raise slightly and I take it as an invitation. I hold out my hand and a shadow about the size of a mouse splits off from the whole to slide over his body. He shivers as it slithers through his hair, then returns to me.

"More. We can do more." They keen and I feel the power that had been slumbering crack open an eye, but I just pull them back to roost in my hair like dark ravens.

"Good control." He compliments before one of his shadows splits and skitters over to me. It knits between my fingers, up my arm, then dives into my hair while mine give chase. Azriel is faster though, and the rabbit escapes the snare. This time. The curl of darkness returns to the flickering masses all over him and I note that his felt different from mine. Warmer. More well-meaning. "Control is one thing. Getting them to report to you is another." He says and his eyes shine with a challenge. My head tilts and whispers fill my head.

"He is different than us, but the same. Shadows and darkness, yes, but not from the same place. Near, but not exact. We are more."

"What does that mean?" I question with eyes roving over the male as if I can read it on his skin.

"We can do more than he can." They say smugly and I nearly roll my eyes.

"But he is more experienced." Silence for a moment.

"For now." They return and my head shakes to focus a bit better.

"What can you tell me about him?" I ask and he doesn't move or flinch as my shadows move over him again like dogs on a scent, then return to me.

"He has known what it is to be caged, as we have been." I stiffen and Azriel sits a little straighter in preparation for whatever I might do. "Those related by blood gave him those scars. Oil. Fire. Pain. The smell of sizzling flesh. Such pain. Loneliness."

"Enough," I say aloud and shake my head to return the shadows to their place around me. There's an indiscernible emotion in his eyes, but his brows have raised slightly.

"You're...very naturally gifted." He says quietly and I'm not sure if that's a good thing with the way he's scanning me.

"It is because we are the same. You are the darkness that we are made of." I sigh and rest my head back on the column behind me as I turn back to the view. A city full of flickering lights stretches out before me, beckoning, but not to me.

"You need to eat," Azriel says, but my head doesn't turn. "You haven't for three days." Is that how long it's been? All the days blur together. I give him no answer. He doesn't truly care, no one does. "We aren't heartless." He continues softly. "And none of us pretend to care when we don't." My eyes flash to his as I think about how Rhysand could see into my mind before I lax. No. The shadows would have told me if he was a daemati. My eyes go back to looking outside.

"Why should I?" I mutter and lean a little closer to the edge. It's a thrill when my heart jumps into my throat and I wonder if I'd soon lose that feeling as well.

"Because there is more than this." I look back to him at the sudden emotion in his voice and find his eyes burning with cold fire. "There is more than the despair and the fear and the emptiness." And I can see that he means it, believes it, has lived it perhaps. Based on what the shadows told me.

"Show me more." I request, but he hesitates.

"Only if you eat." He conditions and while his face is stone, I can almost feel his apprehensiveness at the bet. If I refuse, he loses his only leverage. I consider it a few moments with my eyes steady on his.

"It's a bargain." I agree and his lips press together slightly as if he's fighting a smile, then he nods and leaves. The moment he's gone, I pull my foot into my lap and examine the pinky toe I'd almost lost only to find a little swirl on the bottom of it.

* * *

For the rest of the week, Azriel returns to my room and shows me tricks while bringing a tray stacked with food. He comes often, as often as he can I suspect, and I find myself almost looking forward to the visits. My shadows like him. They keen and dance the moment he slides into my room. I'd be embarrassed by it if his didn't do the same over those large wings of his. He teaches me to move my shadows the way that I want; spread them over the floor to feel footsteps, a wall to slide over the room to detect things unseen, even beyond our sight. In an exercise in seeing how far I can stretch a flicker; I send one after Azriel's and the noise Rhys makes when we brush by him nearly makes me laugh.

Azriel's deep rumble of a laugh disturbed my focus as I turned to look at him and caught the shining in his eyes as he looked at me. After that, he talks me through looking for specific people. He's interesting. He never moves to come closer or reaches to touch me, but doesn't move away when I come near. It's almost...nice having him visit me every day. Although he hasn't come today and I hate the disappointment in my gut at the fact. I remain in my shadows beside the bed before my eyes finally lift when shadows glimmer by the door. I make no sound or movement as Azriel looks for me and his eyes slide over me once, twice, before stalling on the shadows that hide me.

He nods his approval before speaking, "Feyre has returned." He tells me smoothly and something akin to interest flickers inside me. At least that explains why he hadn't come today. "They're coming to see her sisters now." And me, if I'll allow them in.

"Thank you," I murmur and he nods while his shadows flare as I stand, then come a bit closer to head towards the armoire. He stands there watching me another moment while I take out a dark blue outfit, then look back to him.

"If you want to learn more, then you have to leave this House." He says and my arms cross over my chest. "I'll train you. But only in a proper place and if you stay healthy. Hard work requires fuel." I have a sneaking suspicion these rules may be more about keeping me well than training, but I find myself agreeing anyway. The work is good for me. It gives me a focus. Something to do.

"Alright." I agree and his eyes narrow as if seeing whether I really mean it, then a weight seems to leave his shoulders.

"Tomorrow morning then. Six." I nod my acceptance and he spends another moment staring at me, then walks to one of the openings in my room and tosses himself off it. My eyes rove over his wings as I take in the red and gold tones swimming throughout like he holds tiny flames within each curl of shadow. They're...beautiful.

Sighing, I hurry back and do my best to make myself relatively presentable for the High Lord and High Lady. The clothes fit slightly better than before, but I still have to use nearly all the string to keep the pants up while the shirt must sit askew or else slide off both my shoulders. I open the doors and nearly close them again when I hear Nesta yelling, but more voices than just the male join her this time. I can't pick out Feyre's since it's been so long since I've heard it, but I'd guess she's the voice answering Nesta. I remain in my room until things quiet, then peek out to find them stopped in front of Elain's room.

Silence fills the halls and I know what they're seeing as they step inside. A room full of light, but a female who had been drained of it. They float inside and their voices are too soft to hear, but I'm glad I can't hear them. They'll be sad words and I can't handle that right now. I move back into my room and sit down on the bench at the end of the bed as I think of the girl I once knew. Rhysand said that she'd told him to take me here and that she told him something of me, but who knows how much she truly remembers about me. Would she know my name? She's...she's the only person in the world that might know me now. The only piece of my past.

When she and her mate appear at the door, I can do nothing but stare with cautious apprehension. They look beautiful together. Her hair is golden-brown like her sisters, skin fair and lightly tanned, blue-grey eyes sharp if a little tinged with sadness from seeing Elain. Still, she holds herself straight and tall with a presence I'd barely seen glimpses of when we knew each other before all this. I stand and swallow before bowing slightly since it seems like I should.

"Kaira Serein." She says and her voice is soft but clear. I straighten with the pure shock of hearing my name from her lips.

"Feyre Archeron." I greet her in return and almost sob at the fact that she knows me. She knows me.

"Rhys told me everything that's happened." She says and takes a few steps towards me while her mate and a red-headed male remain by the doors. "I'm sorry." My head shakes at the sentiment.

"Thank you. For getting me out of that place." I tell her and her small smile is luminous.

"It was the least that I could do. I never forgot what you did for me that winter, for my family. Those few rolls were almost all we had that entire week. It made a difference." She tells me and I can't keep tears from rising into my eyes. "Then you tried...you tried to save Elain." Silver rims her eyes as well and I don't stop my tears as they roll down my face. We step forward and embrace one another and I hold her as tightly as I can. "Thank you." She murmurs and my eyes squeeze shut as a little light wiggles its way into my heart.

"Thank you." I return and it's not only for getting me out of there. Somehow, this woman who I gave a little bread to in the middle of a harsh winter has allowed a little feeling back into my heart. Perhaps even with the help of the brooding winged male that had become my companion. We part and I wipe away my tears, glad to see that Rhys and the other man had wandered slightly back from the doors so we weren't just stared at.

"We have to leave, we have other business to attend to, but we'll be back for dinner in a few hours. You'll come?" She asks as if she knows I haven't left my room for a while. I nod instantly and she nods once in return. "We'll see you then." Her hand squeezes mine before she floats back to her mate who perks up the second she's back at his side. Rhys shoots me a little smirk before I head back into my rooms and shut the doors once again.

*A/N*

:D

This chapter was a lot of fun to write. I loved the idea that the word no, a word that meant nothing for so many even as Kaira said it over and over and over again, would now almost be a trigger for her power. She means it. And now she can use it as a weapon.

Now, a little clarification for Rhys. He's goading her on purpose just like he did for Feyre. He knows she needs something to hold onto, something to feel, and the easiest emotion to stoke is rage. That one taunt, show me, really reveals what he's doing. He knows how much it helps just to release the things that happened to someone who will listen. As he does with Feyre. Even if she shoves all the memories down his throat out of pure anger, he'd take it to help her. He's that much of a self-sacrificing idiot. And that's why we love him. <3

Azriel's approach is so much softer and quieter, much like the male himself. He knows he could get her angry, but anger burns out. So he tries to be sneaky. Once again, the way they approach things really reveals a lot about the males themselves.

Sorry about the rant. ;)