Saturday wasn't much better, and I spent the better part of it still in bed. Mom got so worried she called Holly, who told me I probably just overworked myself and that I should take advantage of the weekend to rest and rejuvenate. I told her I needed to study and she told me, very firmly, not to even glance at a book. My mind and body needed a break.

She explained that because of the emotional stress I had been through last weekend—from entering new territories and meeting alphas, to finding and nearly rejecting my mate—my wolf and I simply just needed to catch up. So, everyone left me alone to sleep. And I did. A lot.

When I came to on Sunday, my limbs were heavier still, and I felt hollow. This was different than the emptiness leaving Crescent Moon gave me. It was like, a part of me I always had but never really noticed had shriveled up and disappeared from somewhere inside of me. I couldn't place my finger on it, but it was enough to make me cry.

Holly's new diagnosis was that my mate's absence was taking a toll on my body.

Dad frowned from where he stood at the foot of my bed. He was studying me and subtly disagreed with the pack doctor. "That doesn't make any sense. It hasn't been long enough for it to result in this." He gestured to my feverish state. My eyes had been in and out of blurry for hours now, usually remaining blurry more than clear.

Holly stared at me too. "That's the most reasonable explanation, Alpha. Werewolves don't get sick like this; our wolves heal us before we even know we catch something. My guess is that her mate's absence affected her so quickly because both of them are alphas, and she has some powerful wolf genes in her DNA. Alpha Williams' is less, for he is only a second generation after his father won a challenge, but he is a born alpha nonetheless."

"Maybe we should call him." Mom gripped Dad's arm, her face creased with worry for me. "We'll see if it helps at all, and I'm sure he would be more than willing to come up."

"It's worth a shot." Holly said before bowing her head and leaving the room.

My lungs felt like they just set themselves on fire inside of me. "Ah!" I gasped, not expecting that. My lungs had the worst of it, but everything else in me just felt sore and bruised. Like I just spent the week training and fighting instead of pouring over books to study for finals.

"Let's do it. I'll call him." Dad said, sending me a sympathetic look I could barely discern through my hazy vision.

I wanted to call out and tell him not to bother River, that I was fine. But the next burn seared from my lungs and traveled like an explosion into my trachea and out my nostrils. Before I could breathe another to speak again, he had the phone to his ear.

"River." Dad said. I still thought it was funny that he wouldn't be formal with him. The humor disappeared when a cough overtook my body, shaking my ribs and making my voice grow hoarse. I missed the rest of what he told River before he was hanging up. "He'll be here tomorrow."

My head rolled to the side, feeling as heavy as a thousand rocks, and I couldn't straighten it back up. Instead my eyes closed and I was plummeting down, down, down, until there was only darkness.

Monday morning felt normal. I woke up, I took care of my personal hygiene, and I went to school with Skylar's siblings and the gammas' kids like any other day—despite my parents' looks of astonishment and attempts to keep my home. I had exams to take, classes to finish! I couldn't just skip!

Besides, I felt normal again. Maybe my body really did just need the weekend to recover, and yesterday had been my breaking point before it got better.

Sure, my limbs still had rocks in them, and something was missing from somewhere inside of me—almost like my soul, not a physical body part—but I was up, I was awake, I was walking, and I could see straight. Most of the time. Black spots threatened me in the corner of my eyes about once per hour, but no one needed to know that. As long as I got through exams, I could rest tonight and I'd be fine.

By the end of the day, I was seriously questioning my insanity. No more burning came from my lungs, but it was as if I had been dragging around weights all day, instead of just my feet. I walked out of the school, thankfully not running into Scarlet, and as I turned for the buses, my eyes caught a figure standing on the sidewalk with his feet apart and arms folded. Silver eyes flashed in the sunlight and I groaned.

I stormed across the lawn to him, opening my mouth to make some fit about him picking me up from school but he beat me to it and said "Why are you here?"

"Why am I here? Why are you here?" I tried to lift my arms to bang my fists against his chest like a whiny child, but they could only reach my waist before I had to drop them to my sides. He grabbed them gently in his hands, pulling himself down a little to stare into my eyes.

"Why are you at school? Your parents told me you were so sick you couldn't get out of bed. I would accuse you of playing some sick prank to make me worry and speed up here, but I know you're still not feeling well." His hands squeezed my arms a little. "Your skin is hot to the touch, and your eyes won't stay put. You can't raise your hands, and you couldn't walk in a straight line to me."

"That's not true!" Even to me, my words sounded slurred.

"This isn't a heat." He stated. "Despite your fevered skin, heats don't look like this."

"You've seen a heat?" Heats were rare.

"Once."

"Maybe I'm different?" My head flopped to the side a little, and it took so much effort to right it.

River's head shook and then it blurred in my vision so I couldn't make out the difference between his two eyes. "No. If it was a heat you would have been hanging off of me already, begging for a kiss or even your mark."

My knees buckled and his hands freed my arms as they flashed out to grab my waist and hold me up. "I don't even feel the pull to you." I admitted as a way to back his statement that this was not a heat. But then I thought about it as clearly as I could in my foggy mind.

I had recognized his stance and eyes before I could feel his presence through the bond. That should have struck me strange right away. In fact. . .

"River, I can't feel my wolf." My voice was a whisper and I inhaled sharply. "I can't remember the last time I did." Suddenly I didn't care that I was still convincing myself to hate him, I didn't care that I was mad he felt he needed to come comfort me. My fingers gripped his shirt and I pulled myself against him. Scared, I sought his comfort automatically, but I also wanted to see if any spark reignited when I touched him.

There had been no sparks when he was gripping my arms or when he caught my waist, and there were no sparks now. There was electricity, because it was River and I and apparently there was chemistry without the soul binding, but there was no physical sparkler effect when our skin touched.

I hated that I missed it.

"The sparks," I finally said. "They're gone."

"They're here." He promised, his hands still on my waist. "They are a little weaker though, now that you mention it."

"River." I tilted my chin up and his eyes landed on mine instantly. "I don't feel them at all."

As if he remembered we were in the school's front lawn, he grabbed my arm and started walking to the parking lot. "We're going home." Fear shot through me, but then he clarified. "To your pack house, I mean. Don't worry, I wouldn't kidnap you."

"I wouldn't put it past you." I retorted, but my voice lacked it's usual tone when I said things like that to him.

He noticed too, and his eyes flicked to me, scanning my face with concern. "This isn't right."

We were in his truck—I wasn't a car fanatic, but it was tall, black, sleek and very well taken care of—before he spoke again. "Can you recount your last few days to me?"

"Why?" My head went limp and I banged it against the window. "Ow." I said as I found the muscle and jerked it back upright.

His hand flashed out and grabbed my arm to keep me still. "I think you just answered your own question."

I tried to glare at him, but my eyes didn't want to stay in one place, so it wasn't really effective. "Fine. Umm," I thought back to the weekend. "I've just been laying in bed all weekend. I felt great this morning. And I feel better even now than on Saturday."

The ticking of his blinker echoed into my brain as we sat at the stoplight. Then we were moving again and I was relieved that it stopped.

"Try before Saturday. Did you feel like this on Friday?"

I forced my brain to pull up memories of Friday. "No." I paused. "Wait yes. But more like how I am right now. It got worse over the weekend and then better today. It started on the bus ride home on Friday."

"You normally take the bus?" He glanced at me and I growled at him.

"I can't drive yet. Focus!"

"You're one to talk." He retorted, and he was right because my eyes still hadn't been able to settle in one place for very long at a time.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You said it started on your way home from school, so the answer must be at school. Did something happen there?"

I was not about to tell him I had a consistent bullying problem. "No." He was a protective alpha. He would probably kill her.

"Emerald, if we're going to figure out what's wrong with you, you have to be honest."

"I am!"

"You're not!"

I stared at him.

He sighed, "I can tell you're lying."

"It doesn't matter," I insisted. "Holly said I was just tired and overworked after last week and exams. I'll be better by Wednesday, when it's all over."

His expression was skeptical, I knew he didn't believe me. I wasn't sure if I believed me. Did what was wrong with me stem from the stupid prank Scarlet played with my locker on Friday? It seemed unlikely but maybe I shouldn't rule it out.

"Ah!" I groaned, leaning my head against the seat and I gripped my seatbelt as my eyes fuzzed over and a dizzy spell swept over me.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine, River. I'm just kind of dizzy. My eyes get blurry and my brain gets groggy every once in a while. That's been the worst of it today."

"Besides not feeling your wolf." He added.

Right. That statement totally threw Holly's diagnosis out the window. Being exhausted over school exams wouldn't cause a wolf to fade inside the mind.

"Just let me go to school tomorrow, I'll finish my last two exams and then if stress wasn't the cause after all we'll search for answers then."

He hesitated. Long and hard, not answering me until we pulled into my driveway. I didn't even want to ask how he knew the way home. Finally, just after opening my door and helping me to the garage floor, he growled, "Fine."

I think he remembered last time he tried to tell me what to do, and it was smart of him not to push me. My grin was sagged and weirdly felt wrong on my face for the victory. I let him walk me inside and up the stairs to my room.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, he left me alone to nap. And that's exactly what I did.

River ate with me in my room for dinner, bringing it up and settling on the foot of my bed across from me. It was the most normal I had felt with him and, shockingly to me, it was kind of nice. We didn't talk much, but that meant we couldn't fight about what was happening with us. My protective edges that surrounded me when I was around him seemed to melt. That part I didn't like so much.

That lasted until the end of our meal, when he had to open his mouth. I wondered if it was the silence he couldn't take, or the open-ended way I had left his house last week. "You know, I thought you would change your mind after what happened in my office."

Setting my fork down, I lifted my eyes from my plate to his face. He wasn't looking at me, though, and instead seemed to be fascinated with his own plate.

"Trying to use your wolf's possessiveness over me was never the way to get me to stay."

He winced, "That was an accident." Finally he raised his eyes to mine and held them there, steady. "I'm sure you understand the fight an alpha has with their wolf on the daily."

I didn't actually, and now that I realized that, I recognized the truth in Xavier's words. About how my wolf wasn't fully black because I was never meant to be alpha, because I would be a luna. The truth behind that terrified me. "It shouldn't be an excuse."

"I know."

"At least you didn't mark me." I reminded him with a small laugh.

"I should have," he joked. "Then you couldn't resist the bond."

"I would have killed you."

River laughed, the sound deep but carefree, like he wasn't just laughing at what I said but laughing because he was just thrilled to be talking to me lightly like this. I hated to admit that the feeling was. . . mutual. Sort of.

"Nah," he said, his tone joking and his eyes sparking with light. It made them look shiny, displaying cloudy white, a shade of blue I couldn't put my finger on, and even hints of green. I knew he had those colors mixed in there the first time I saw his irises up close, but with the brightness of his expression, I got to see them in a whole new way. It was as if they were calm rivers, seen from an aerial perspective that reflected the clouds and the sky and hints of the grassy bank. I wondered if this was what his parents saw when he was a baby, and if he was actually named after it. It was a beautiful thought, and I blushed for staring so long.

He didn't notice and kept speaking. "The bond a mate feels through their mark would definitely have prevented you from that. I would have been safe."

I smiled at him, but I couldn't bring myself to joke back. My thoughts were consumed with the feeling blossoming in my chest. One that I had been deeply afraid of since I long-ago decided I wouldn't have a mate. I pressed a fist to my chest and stood up. River's expression darkened, dimming his eyes down to grey.

"You okay?"

I nodded, trying not to run as I escaped to the hallway.

"Emerald!" He called but I was already across the hall and shutting my parents' door behind me.

Leaning against it, I slid down the length of the wood until I was crouching on the floor with my head in my hands.

Tonight had been the best I had felt all weekend, and that terrified me because of Holly's other prediction. That what was wrong with me was my wolf's sadness in being far away from her mate. Wasn't that why Dad called River up here? I didn't want that to be the reason, because if it was, there was no doubt I'd be strongly advised to go home with him this week.

"Em?" Mom's voice shot my head up. I searched the room until I found her on the couch near the fireplace. Dad was there too, and they were both watching me over the back of it.

I thought they would be downstairs eating dinner. Had River waited until after sitting with my parents to bring me a meal? Or had I really just slept that long?

"I'm okay." I promised, standing back up. And there was truth in that, for my head wasn't fuzzy, my eyes weren't blurred over, and parts of me weren't falling limp at random times.

"You don't look okay," Dad told me bluntly. "Do you want to come sit over here and talk?"

"No!" I said quickly. "I'm fine, I promise." Swiftly turning around, I opened the door and closed it behind me as I darted back across the hall. River watched me with a strange expression as I walked back over to the bed. He stayed quiet as I moved my plate to my bedside table and kicked my feet back under the covers.

"Sorry." I told him, but not really looking at him. "I had to go to the bathroom."

"Your bathroom's over there." He pointed out and I looked up to see him staring at the door that did, in fact, lead to my bathroom.
He shook his head, "You know what, never mind. I'm not going to ask."

Thank you. I said inside my head. Then I yawned. Honestly, it started out fake to get him to leave, but when you start a faux yawn, the body reacts and creates a real one. It made me feel better about lying to him.

"I think I'm going to go back to sleep." I told him. "I still have tests to take tomorrow. There's a handful of guest rooms on the second floor, and my parents are across the hall from here if you have a question." I only felt a little bad that I was trying to kick him out. "And-" I started again but a howl outside cut me short. Both of us turned to my covered window.

My room overlooked the back of the property, but the sun was setting and there would be little light left soon enough. Orange light fought to get through my drapes, and then the room was bathed in it as River pushed them back. His face turned sour just before a series of barks and yelps exploded from the yard.

I shot out of bed like a rocket, pushing against River to get a view outside. My eyes barely had time to catch a strange man shifting into a grey wolf before River pushed me away from the window.

"What's going on?" I asked him as he pulled me back to my bed. "Hey!" He forced me to sit on it. "River!"

"You're going to stay here." He told me. "And you're going to try to get some sleep."

He expected me to sleep right now? Was he insane?

Bang! Mom and Dad's door slammed across the hall, their footsteps heavy as they ran to the stairs. I struggled against River's hands in my arm, but this weekend had made me weaker, and my wolf wasn't here to aid me.

"River let me help!" I was fairly certain our pack was under attack right now. Briefly, my mind sorted through nearby packs that might be coming after Mom again. But last week's attack wasn't from close by, I reminded myself.

"Emerald, I need you to stay here."

Growling, I lurched forward in another attempt for him to let go of me. "Ah!" I yelled when a ping of pain shot across my eyes and my arms went limp. My vision got blurry again and then worsened when tears pricked on the bridge of my nose. I thought tonight had meant I was better.

He crouched in front of me. "Em, I promise any other time I'd let you be on the front with me. I would never lock you up in an attempt to keep you safe. But tonight I need you to stay up here."

"You're not making any sense!" I shouted at him, even though he was inches away from me.

"You're not in a state to fight another pack. Something is seriously affecting your wolf. Could you shift right now, if you tried?"

I stopped struggling. He was right. If I couldn't shift, how I could I fight? Last week, I claimed the job of rescuing Mom, but that, too, would be impossible in my current state. I despised that he was right. Last time I actually fought—and I was normal—I split my lip so bad it needed stitches. While that had basically healed now, I knew that fighting in my state tonight would end me in a much worse injury, even if I could shift.

"Please, just stay here." He pleaded, letting go of me finally. Before he stood up, he brushed his thumb against the fading scar on my lip. Even without the sparks there, a shiver ran its course through me. "That's what happened to your lip, isn't it? Injured in one of these fights."

I nodded and he withdrew his hand. "I'll stay." And to prove my point, I laid back in bed, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to relax. Another howl erupted outside and I tried not to wince.

River leaned over me, and fear spiked that he was going to kiss me. Swallowing, he shifted to the right and grazed his lips against my forehead. Then he was gone, and I let out a muffled shriek of frustration. Not at him for keeping me in here, but at myself and my wolf and whatever was wrong with it so I wasn't fit enough to support my pack.

I tossed and turned, and eventually crawled to one of my windows on either side of the headboard to peek behind the drapes and watch. Until a dizzy spell hit my head again and I was forced to lie back on the pillow, and I was out before I even had a chance to catch sight of River or my parents.