A/n: Thank you to all those reading this fanfiction!!! This book was actually already finished somewhere else but I am editing this here on wattpad. :)

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Kousei's mind felt like a battleground, a warzone where his own sanity clashed with the ravenous nature that lurked within him. The memories of his actions—of the lives he had taken to satisfy his hunger—haunted him relentlessly. Each face, each cry for mercy, seemed to etch itself into his very soul. The sounds of the forest—the chirping of insects, the rustling of leaves—had transformed into a symphony of torment. His own heartbeat echoed in his ears, a constant reminder of the duality that now defined him—a predator and a pianist, a monster and a man.

He no longer recognized himself. The fear that he was losing his grip on reality gnawed at the edges of his consciousness, threatening to push him over the precipice into madness. Loneliness settled over him like a heavy shroud, a reminder that he was trapped in a world that he no longer understood.

Kousei's hands trembled as he clutched his head, his nails digging into his scalp in a desperate attempt to anchor himself. The pain, both physical and emotional, was a cacophony that seemed to drown out everything else. He was adrift in a sea of his own suffering, unable to find a way back to the person he used to be.

The moon hung high in the sky, its cold light casting long shadows that seemed to mock his inner turmoil. He felt like a prisoner of his own nature, trapped between the desires of his humanity and the insatiable hunger of his vampiric self.

Tears mixed with sweat as he curled into a ball, his body racked with sobs that seemed to emanate from the depths of his soul. He whispered fragmented apologies to the air, as if the very universe itself could hear his regret and grant him absolution.

In the stillness of the night, his thoughts became a chaotic whirlwind, a maelstrom of pain, fear, and loneliness that threatened to consume him whole. He clung to the memory of his former self, desperately seeking refuge from the monster he feared he was becoming. As the hours passed, Kousei's breaths grew shallow, his exhaustion tugging him towards an uneasy sleep. Dreams and nightmares melded together in a surreal dance, blurring the lines between reality and his own tortured psyche.

In the heart of the darkness, he felt a sliver of something—a glimmer of hope that pierced through the fog of his despair. It was a faint melody, a distant echo of the pianist he once was. And as that melody whispered to him, Kousei clung to it with all his might, determined to find a way to harmonize the two sides of himself, no matter how discordant they seemed.

The duality of his desires remained, but in that moment of fragile realization, Kousei felt a flicker of strength. He would forge a new path, one that balanced his humanity with his vampiric nature—a symphony of shadows and redemption that he would compose with his very soul.

...

Kousei's form trembled under the weight of his inner turmoil, his crimson eyes reflecting the agony that churned within him. The night air seemed to thicken around him, suffocating him with the scent of his own desperation. His hands clenched into fists, his nails digging into his palms as a primal growl rumbled deep within his chest.

In an explosion of frustration, pain, and hunger, Kousei threw his head back and let out a guttural roar that shattered the stillness of the forest. The sound echoed through the trees, a haunting symphony of raw emotion—a beast's cry in the midst of his own darkness.

But as the echoes faded, reality crashed over him like a tidal wave. His voice, distorted and feral, seemed to reverberate in his ears, a harsh reminder of the monster he feared he was becoming. His trembling legs gave way, and he sank to the ground, his body folding in on itself.

"No... no, this can't be me," Kousei whispered, his voice a shattered reflection of the man he once was. His hands covered his ears as if to block out the echoes of his own cry. The moonlight cast a cruel glow on his vampiric features, highlighting the elongated fangs and the hunger that pulsed within his veins.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the torrent of emotions that threatened to consume him. "I can't lose myself like this. I won't become a mindless predator, driven only by instinct."

Kousei's chest heaved with sobs, his body wracked with the weight of his anguish. He felt like a stranger to himself, lost in the chaos of his own desires and fears. The realization that he had taken lives, that he had embraced his vampiric nature with a terrifying intensity, shook him to his core. Tears mingled with the dirt on his cheeks, his cries of anguish now those of a broken soul. "I don't want this. I never asked for this curse. But I can't change what I've become."

His voice cracked as he choked on his words, the pain of his transformation, both physical and emotional, finally breaking through the dam of his composure. The forest seemed to mourn with him, the shadows lengthening as the night pressed on.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into the darkness, his voice a plea for forgiveness from the world around him. "I'm sorry for the lives I've taken, for the creature I've become. I don't know how to find my way back."

Kousei's cries became a mournful lament, a symphony of remorse that seemed to echo through the very fabric of his being. He clung to his humanity, his memories, his hopes, as if they were the only things tethering him to his former self.

Amidst the pain and turmoil, a single thought emerged—the melody that had once defined him as a pianist, as a person. It was a fragile thread of hope, a reminder that even in his darkest moments, there was still a chance to find redemption, to find a way to reconcile the duality of his desires and to reclaim his shattered soul.

...

The forest became his sanctuary, a haven that shielded him from the judging eyes of the world beyond. Kousei found solace in the embrace of the shadows, the rustling leaves and gentle whispers of the wind becoming his only companions. Away from the prying gazes of society, he could grapple with his inner demons in the solitude of nature.

Days turned into weeks, and Kousei's steps grew slower, his once-luminous eyes now clouded with a persistent sadness. His vampiric instincts still haunted him, but he had managed to resist the urge to harm living creatures. Instead, he relied on the meager sustenance that the forest provided—berries, roots, anything that could help him survive without taking a life.

As he wandered the forest trails, his thoughts were a constant storm of self-doubt and regret. He questioned the choices he had made, the lives he had taken, and the path he had been forced onto. He felt like a broken instrument, each note of his existence discordant and out of tune.

The melodies that used to flow effortlessly from his fingers were now a distant memory, a reminder of the passion and talent that had once defined him. He would sometimes find himself at the edge of a river, staring into the water's reflection as if hoping to catch a glimpse of his former self. But the image that stared back at him was a fractured one—a fusion of human and vampire, a reflection of the internal battle that raged within him.

Loneliness wrapped around him like a shroud, suffocating him with its weight. He missed the days when he would practice the piano until his fingers ached, when music was his only companion. Now, the only melody he heard was the echo of his own sorrow, a symphony of regret that seemed to grow louder with each passing day.

"What have I become?" Kousei's voice was a mere whisper carried away by the wind. He sank to his knees, his fingers curling into the earth as if trying to anchor himself to something real. Tears spilled down his cheeks, mingling with the dirt and leaves that surrounded him.

The forest seemed to absorb his pain, embracing him with its own silent understanding. The trees stood as witnesses to his struggles, their branches swaying in a melancholic dance that mirrored his own state of mind.

With each sunset, Kousei's depression deepened, his thoughts becoming a tangled web of hopelessness. He felt like a lost soul, adrift in a sea of darkness with no shore in sight. The boundary between night and day blurred, and time seemed to lose its meaning in the endless cycle of his existence.

And yet, even in his darkest moments, a flicker of determination remained—a fragile ember of his former self that refused to be extinguished. It was a spark that whispered to him, a reminder that he was still capable of change, of redemption. With the forest as his witness, Kousei clung to that ember, vowing to find a way to emerge from the depths of his depression and reclaim his shattered spirit.

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A/n: Thank you for reading! Don't forget to vote and comment! ✨️🖤✨️