"Luappo!"

Shit.

I freeze in place and sigh deeply. I knew I shouldn't have done that. Knew? I knew. But no, I did it anyway.

Turning around slowly, I meet the headmaster's squinted gaze. The first time I met him, I was afraid of the vampire. But now I feel like I know him better. Or rather, I know him with a different, more caring, warmer side. And it's all thanks to Seraphus. I mean, because of what I've heard. But the fact that the headmaster can make my life hell hasn't changed. Yeah, I'm still afraid of him.

"Yeah?" I put on a cute smile.

"And where do you think you're headed?"

"Um...to class."

"And you're allowed to go to class?" The headmaster arches an eyebrow ironically.

"Hmm... well, a little not allowed," I croak.

"A little not allowed? I think I heard completely the other thing, Luappo. You haven't fully recovered your powers yet, and you have to stay in your room until you do. Don't you realize the danger of that? You're both mentally and physically weak right now, Luappo. You could be affected, you could become trivially sick or ill, you could faint. You've lost a lot of blood and barely survived. You slept for a day. And after that, you're running the corridors of the House to go to class?"

I lower my eyes to the floor in shame. He's right. They didn't let me out of the healing block until early this morning. And that was because I was complaining about how bored I was, how tired I was of sleeping. They sent me to my room, gave me lots of vials of potions. But I wanted to go to class. I really wanted to. I wanted to forget everything I'd heard, known, and seen. I just wanted to distract myself, to fill my head with something else. And I'd waited until class started to run to the second lesson, because the first one was on dark magic, and Seraphus would have strangled me for sure. I ended up getting caught.

"Luappo, you are hardly irresponsible and disregard the healers' prescription. So I'll ask you, what happened?"

"Nothing, I was just bored," I mutter.

"Luappo, I'll say it again. I know how responsible you are and I'm sure you wouldn't disobey orders without a good reason, especially one that concerns your life. So I'd like to know why it's difficult for you to be in your room? Do you feel unsafe in there? Do you have a premonition of something?"

I throw my head up sharply and open my eyes wider in surprise.

"How... did you know?" I whisper, perplexed.

"I told you are weak. I can sense your nervousness and the strange, slightly bitter flavor of your energy. Let's go to your room and you'll tell me everything, okay?"

The headmaster puts his hand on my shoulder, and I walk beside him. I don't know if I should even talk about it. Besides, I don't want to draw more attention to myself. I've had enough of my fantasy of kissing Seraphus, of Piros's sympathy... though I've guessed that before. It's easy. I'm not a fool. I wasn't born yesterday. Piros is a rude boor. He's a brawler and an aggressor. He attacks and takes what he wants by force. But he listens to me, and he's caring.

"So, tell me," the headmaster sits down in the chair and motions for me to sit across from him.

Tossing my bag of notebooks on the floor, I flop down in the chair and comb through my shoulder-length hair nervously. Before the arrow hit me, my hair was barely shoulder-length; now it's long and annoying. I don't know how to take care of it, and I want to cut it off, but I can't.

"I think my condition is just a consequence of what happened to me. I've never seen so many of the dead in my life, never fought them," I pronounce. "So my condition is understandable. I don't feel comfortable here alone. I feel like they'll attack me again."

"And still. Seraphus tells me you had a vision, Luappo. So I would rather still listen to your sensations and premonitions. Will you share with me what exactly is the problem with you being here?"

I can feel the cool, soft air enveloping my temples. Is he trying to get inside my head? Uh-oh, no, he can't go in there. No, not allowed in there, that's the end. There's something in there the headmaster mustn't know. When I get all tense, the chill instantly disappears.

"Why are you trying to read my mind?" Holding back anger, I ask him.

"I'm sorry, Luappo, I was only probing you. Your protection is very strong. I'm surprised, because even with physical weakness, your mind is closed off from everyone. That's good. That's very good, Luappo. I don't get into someone's head without a good reason. It's unacceptable to me. I'm just checking to see if you're protected. Tell me, do you know who put such a strong protective shield on you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I frown. "I really don't. I don't know how to put up shields myself. I never learned how. And I rarely had anyone talk to me at home except my friend."

"Your friend," the vampire scratches his chin thoughtfully. Shit. Why did I say that?

"He's empty," I add quickly. "Even though he's elf-born, he's completely empty. We've tried several times to find his power and nothing. I even gave him mine, but he got sick... really sick. So if you think my friend has the kind of power to put a mental shield on me, he doesn't."

"I see. But you must know, Luappo, your strengths and weaknesses. And these are your strengths."

"Okay," I nod.

"Let's still get back to why I'm here and why I caught you in the corridor. You can trust me, Luappo. I'm protecting all of you. You're my children, you're my responsibility. And if any of my children are in danger, it's my responsibility to keep my child out of harm's way."

Swallowing, I turn my gaze back to the fireplace and lock my fingers together.

"It's not that I don't trust you, Headmaster. It's that I don't even know how to explain it. I close my eyes and I see the dead. Over and over again. Over and over again. And I feel like if I stay among the living, the dead won't get to me," I confess quietly.

"You've been through a lot of stress, Luappo. Of course, your sensations could be related to that. But what if it's visions?"

"No," I shake my head in a confident, negative way. "The visions are different. They're clear. I had a clear vision. I could feel everything on me, the scents, the power, even the wet ground I fell on, and the stench. And it was as if everything was happening behind the cloth before my eyes. Misty silhouettes and a clear understanding of what was happening, and that was it. I guess I just haven't come to my senses yet."

"Maybe or maybe not, Luappo. I don't want to scare you, but sometimes every magician's visions are different. Yours aren't like the others. And I'm asking you to listen to them, okay? If you feel anything, you tell me or Seraphus or one of the teachers immediately. Deal?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good. I'll have the healer prepare a calming infusion for you so you can rest."

"Thank you."

The headmaster, after giving me another glance, leaves my room, and I can breathe a sigh of relief. What bad luck to run into him in the first place!

Leaning back in the chair, I focus my gaze on the fireplace, and a fire flares up in it, then I put it out and back again. Then I shift my gaze to the bed and let out a moan. Everything inside me trembles with fear. It feels like the same state I experienced next to Seraphus in that damn trap.

Seraphus.

I had only seen a glimpse of him in the early morning, just before I left the treatment block. He thought I was still asleep, and didn't expect that I was hungry, irritable, and frantic to get up, which I was forbidden to do. His behavior with me was strange. Yes, he asked me how I was feeling. Yes, he jokingly promised to get back at me for probably his early gray hair. Yes, he apologized to me a million times. But something was wrong. He avoided looking into my eyes, touching me, or even coming near me. I remember what I heard. I remember his voice telling me to stay with him, to wake up and not die. Was there a kiss? I still don't know. Judging by Seraphus's behavior, he would never kiss someone like me. He even seems afraid to approach me now, thinking I'll get hurt because of him again. Yes, yes, I remember what I heard. My body may have been recovering, but my mind was awake. And of course, now I know for sure that Seraphus' heart is taken. It hurts me. I don't know where that pulling feeling inside me came from, but it's only getting stronger. It's like my own dark side or light side is eating away at me inside, but someone is clearly devouring my energy, suppressing me, making me weaker physically and preventing me from fully recovering. I can't reincarnate now, and my magic is weak. I can't see the gargoyles...that upsets me the most. I must have lost some of my dark magic, and I miss them. They've become so dear to me.

My mind is a mess. I realize that what I've heard is very personal, and I can't trust anyone else with it. I can't discuss it with anyone, ask about Ellior, about Seraphus, about the dissenters, about the assassination attempts and more. Seraphus won't tell me. And if I asked, I'd have to admit that I'd heard everything and that I probably made up our kiss or not. Although it's hard to call it a kiss, but still...did he kiss me? Mother, I need to know! I need to know! I've never been kissed before! Not with anyone! Lua offered me one, but it was wrong. Just wrong, and I turned away just in time for his lips to smear a kiss on my cheek. But with Seraphus...my cruel Mother, I'm in love with him. Hell, I'm in love with him. Has he figured it out, and that's why he's acting like this? Did the fact that I covered him with my body give him a glimpse of my feelings and now he's doing everything he can to restore the chain of command between us?

Yeah, it seems like I'm winding myself up harder and harder, and the walls are pressing in on me. I need to get out of here. I just need to get out. And I can't explain it. I shouldn't be here. It's dangerous.

Leaping out into the corridor, I head for the dining hall, hoping I'll at least catch the guys. I need to socialize. I'm curious to know what occurred during my time in the healing block. But when I enter the dining hall, it turns out that no one from my level is there. I'm late. There is Piros, though.

With a wide smile, I walk over to the table where he sits alone and pokes at the poor meat with his fork.

"Hi," I say excitedly. Piros throws his head up, first bewilderment in his gaze, then fury, and finally he hisses, squinting his eyes, apparently trying to hide his joy again.

"Not dead?" He snorts wryly.

"No, I'm feeling much better. Thank you for asking how I'm feeling, Piros. I enjoy your worry," I grin, leaning back against the metal back of the chair.

"What do you want?" Piros barks. "I'm eating."

"I won't take up much of your time. I just wanted to thank you for the strawberries," I defy his rudeness and smile even wider.

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on," I hum, shaking my head. "I know you brought me strawberries, Seraphus told me. Thank you. I love strawberries. My memories of home are connected to it. That's not what I mean. I meant it doesn't remind me of home, like the house where the Duke lives and everything. It reminds me of the woods, the walks, the warmth and sunshine, the babbling river nearby. All the things I loved at home. Thank you, Piros, it was a pleasure and delicious. I also wanted to apologize for not going to town this weekend, but we'll go next weekend. I promise. And you're welcome to come along, of course. Don't listen to the others, I invited you. That's all I wanted to tell you. You can continue to torture the piece of meat further. See you later."

Giving him a wave of my hand, I leave a frozen and shocked Piros behind. Yes, I remember what the headmaster said about Piros, but I think he's wrong. Piros is lonely and he, like any living creature, needs company. I know what it's like to be away from socializing. My parents blatantly ignored me, didn't want to talk to me, only punished me. And you feel unworthy of companionship, attention, kindness. But I had Lua, while Piros has no one here. I also don't think he's bad or evil, it's just easier for him. He has physical strength, and it's probably how he protects himself from pain and frustration. I think his personality didn't just become like that for no reason. There were reasons. And the fact that Piros found out that I like strawberries, found some for me, picked and brought it to me also speaks volumes. He's kind inside and seeks companionship and friendship. So I don't regret finding him and thanking him at all. And I also know that he hides his embarrassment with his aggression. I like Piros. He may have promised me revenge, but I'm sure he won't do it. He likes me too. He's drawn to me, and I'm happy to help him socialize here.

When I return to my room, I'm immediately attracted to the rustling. Gargoyles are swarming out from under the covers of my bed.

"You're back!" I shout happily, touching each one. They chirped and nuzzled, making me laugh heartily. I haven't lost my dark power. They were just sleeping somewhere, or Seraphus didn't let them fly to me. Why? Maybe they had business to attend to. It doesn't matter, they're here, and I'm glad. I'm not so lonely now.

I sit in my room reading until evening, distracted only by the need to caress each gargoyle and then go to bed with them.

A knock on the door distracts me from another feeding of the gargoyles. I quickly tuck the bread under the bed and walk to the door.

"Lua!" Barely have time to open the door, Fima swoops in on me. She hugs me tightly, and I hug back. "I was so scared for you! You're alive!"

"Yeah, I'm alive. But you're about to smash me. Your strength," I wheeze. The girl lets go of me and wrinkles her nose.

"Sorry, I forgot."

"Hey, Mor," I smile at my friend holding a full fruit basket.

"Hey, good to see you, Lua," clapping me on the back, Mor enters the room. "These are for you. Fima packed it and I'm the porter. So it's from both of us."

"Thanks," I smile, taking the basket and setting it on the table between the chairs. Fima flops down on the bed, causing the gargoyles to squeak indignantly.

"Careful, you almost killed the gargoyles," I laugh, catching a couple of them. They squeak, apparently airing their grievances to me. "She didn't mean to hurt you. Fima can't see you. Show up and she'll see you, then you'll be safe."

The gargoyles squint, and I nod at them, encouraging them.

"Neither Mor nor Fima will harm you. I promise," I assure them. It seems like they made a decision, as my friends gasp and tense up when the gargoyles scatter and then return to their positions on the bed.

"They showed up," Fima whispers, shocked.

"Yeah, I asked them to. And this way you won't crush them. They're very gentle." I sit down on the bed. One of the gargoyles crawls over to me, and I scratch his belly. "You're all so gentle and you love to be scratched, don't you? Yes, you're very into it. And you love to sleep. That's it. Go to the others or everyone will come to me now."

Smiling, I look up at my friends.

"Is something wrong?" I frown, not understanding why they're still looking at me in shock.

"Lua, they showed up." Mor points a finger at the gargoyles.

"Yes, that's an obvious fact. I even explained why."

"No, you don't get it, Lua," Fima shakes her head and glances warily at the cute, innocent, and so sweet-sniffing gargoyles. "They don't show up at someone's whim. They obey only their master's orders. Their master is Seraphus. And only he can either hide them or show them to the others. These creatures only follow Seraphus' orders."

"Hardly," I tsk. "Seraphus said they're alive and they decide for themselves what to do. I mean, they're sentient beings, and they're so cute."

"That may be true, but they... disobey orders, not their masters," Mor mutters. "That's just wrong. Not everyone can see them. The Dark Ones can, but not always. When Seraphus, I mean the master, wants them to. But they also obey you as their master. I don't understand, I'm confused. So whose are they?"

"Seraphus'," I answer confidently. "But they like me, that's all. Who cares why they showed up? Now you won't look at me as a spirit playing with air."

"That's weird," Fima confirms. "We should read up on it. Because I know for a fact that these creatures..."

"Come on, let's drop the subject," I interrupt her and look pleadingly into her red eyes.

"Okay. Are you okay? We were so scared, Lua. Really, we thought you were going to die."

"We were waiting for you." Mor sits down on the floor by the bed and pulls his legs up to his chest. I don't even offer him another seat because it's up to him to decide where his animal is comfortable. "We thought we were going to greet you with clappers and congratulations for passing the practice. But we saw Seraphus running with you in his arms, all dirty and covered in some kind of slime, and you were bleeding and had an arrow in your chest. It was really scary."

"It must have looked creepy," I wrinkle my nose, rubbing my forehead. "But everything turned out okay, and I'd..."

I'm interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Are you expecting someone?" Mor asks, surprised, jumping to his feet.

"No, I wasn't expecting anyone."