I wanted to recover long before I did
That is a promise.
But i couldn't let myself.
I would deals.
Tomorrow, i will start recovering
Because tomorrow at least I will be thinner.
Or, i will stop tomorrow
Because tomorrow I won't want to inflict pain on myself.

I wanted to recover.
But how could I?
My body was not what I wanted.
Not yet.
The self harm didn't get rid of the pain,
But maybe it would eventually?

If I just waited, until tomorrow
Or another week,
That could be another week of weight loss.
Or another week of distraction.
I wanted to recover
But I couldn't.
Because it was never good enough.

My deals were never fulfilled.
I don't think I would've recovered if not forced.
How do I recover when I hadn't reached my goal?
Now I know that I will reach my goal.
Because my goal just keeps going farther.
I'm done making deals.
But I'm ready for recovery