I wanted to cry.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted pain.
But there was none.

Maybe I should be grateful,
But how do I be grateful when I feel absolutely nothing?
My mind is blank.
Empty.
Nothing.

Behind my stare lies numbness
And unconsciousness.

I do not recognize my reflection.
I do not feel my heart beating.

I'm here, in my bedroom,
But I'm not.
I don't know where I am.
Maybe I'm no where.
Maybe it's better that way.

At least when there was pain
There could also be happiness.
When there's nothing,
It leaves nothing.

I pinch my skin but I can't feel it.
I scratch my arm
But the only thing left behind is a red line.
No pain,
No feeling,
No anything.

I can't sleep,
But I can't be awake.
How do I function
When I can't even be a person?
I'm a zombie.

Today I walked through sticks
In negative weather,
And barely got cold.
I wouldn't have even noticed the scratches if not for the physical marks left.

I'm trying to feel.
But I can't feel anything,
When there is numbness
There's nothing.
No personality
No soul
No quirks
No feelings.
Nothing.
Nothing at all.

Am I even real?