Dear Lilly,
You promised you'd never leave me
But all of your promises seemed to turn up empty.
You left me lying there
Crying there
Dying there.

Dear Lilly,
I wish I'd never turned off my phone
I wish I could've, would've, kept texting you
Making sure nothing happened.

Dear Lilly,
I wish I could sleep on nights that make me think of you
Without dreaming of you next to me,
Smiling.
Laughing.

Dear Lilly,
I never heard your voice,
But I've imagined what it would've sounded like.

Dear Lilly,
I wish I lived closer so that I could have closure
Instead of just your absence
And your last text message forever engrained in my mind.

Dear Lilly,
I never saw you in person
But I look at your picture all the time
And miss you.

Dear Lilly,
I wish I could talk to our friends
But we had to stop
Because every message made us think of you.
And no one could handle it.

Dear Lilly,
If we would've lived closer,
I would've ran to your house.
I would've protected you,
From everyone,
Including yourself.

Dear Lilly,
I think about you more than I should.
And I think about our inside jokes
Yet I wonder if you were even real.

Dear Lilly,
I hate not knowing.
I want to know if you succeeded,
But my god I hope you didn't.
I hope you're out there, happy,
Remembering me,
If you wish to.

Dear Lilly,
I was so excited to meet you.
I still am,
But we will never see each other in person.

Dear Lilly,
I wish I could've held your hand at least once.
So that I didn't feel a hole when your name is said.

Dear Lilly,
I wish I could listen to the songs I showed you
Without crying.
Why did you have to quote them?

Dear Lilly,
I deleted the app we talked on.
Because I knew you were never coming back
And seeing your profile killed me.

Dear Lilly,
You told me not to leave with you
And I didn't.
But sometimes I wonder if I would've been able to see you if I would have.
I hoped you'd never leave.

Dear Lilly,
I hope you're alive and well.
And that you just can't speak to me.
I hope you're okay.

Dear Lilly,
I love you.
And I remember the first time
You told me you loved me.
We had a whole world ahead of us.
I remember thinking that I didn't want to see it with anyone but you.

Dear Lilly,
I'm dying my hair orange soon.
The color you wanted.
And everytime I brush it
I'll think of you.
But it'll be okay.
Because I want to think of you.

Dear Lilly,
I'm sorry for not answering your text that night.
I'm sorry for being busy.
I'm sorry for everything.
One day, i hope you forgive me.
And one day,
I hope I forgive myself.