The hardest thing about love is the realization.
Like today,
I realized i loved you as you told me about her,
Because my first instinct was to smile at the happiness on your face
Rather than break down and cry out of my own sadness and jealousy.

However now, im trapped in my feelings of
Shit im in love with you
And my god i hope she makes you happy.

I hope you never know how much I'm hurting
Because i never want to be the cause of your frown.
Your smile is contagious, especially if im the one that causes it.
I wish i couldve had more time to cause it,
More time to hear your laugh,
But im fine with the time i did have, because i know that she will cause it,
And thats almost okay with me, as long as youre smiling somehow.
I regret never telling you that i loved you,
But im so glad that i didnt.

I take comfort in the fact that you will never hear this.
All you will hear or see is the congratulations and the "im happy for you"
Thank god youll never see me as im writing this.
This isnt the me i want to show you.

I hope you hold her hand like you held mine,
Make her feel like the most special girl in the world, because she is if she has you.
I hope you kiss her like you kissed me,
So that she knows how lucky she is.
I hope you touch her and make her feel pretty and let her know that you love her.
And i hope she does the same for you.
And i hope that you make each other happy.
I hope that right now youre the happiest youve ever been.
And i know itll be easier with her.

You deserve to have the things that i couldnt give you.
I wouldve given them to you if it were possible.
But she can, so im glad youre with her.
Im sorry that im not her.

I love you.
I wrote this because i love you.
I feel the way i do because i love you.
Sad because i love you and you love her,
But happy for the same reasons.
Ill try to love you in a different way,
But i dont think ill stop loving you.