*Grumpyarcherboi added Magnushottie, Carrot, Parabashit, Silvia, and Izziethequeen to a group chat*

Annoying Clave working ants

Magnushottie: Aww Alexander, I adore my name but why out of all those Shadowhunters, no offense, did you start texting? Doesn't seem like your usual behavior around them.

Parabashit: None taken. Mags, don't hate me for it but I got Alec drunk again :)

Silvia: MY NAME IS STILL SIMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grumpyarcherboi: Mawnuk, I wuv i soooooooo mucho, I immortal wanna we you wif. Weeeeee, me haf you babyyys

Carrot: This is so much more fun in real life guys. Wish all of you were at the Hunter's Moon. This wedding will be epic after Alec drinks three Pina Coladas.

Magnushottie: Are you serious right now? I can't believe you stupid arrogant clave workers. You are literally the worst friends. My dear Alexander, I will rescue you in a second. But keep that thought for later ;)

Izziethequeen: Simonnnn, there is no way we can compete with my brother and my fashion adviser. :( Even tho we are better than my stupid brother and my parabatai. Sorry Parabapower :(

Silvia: But hey, at least I don't call your brother Alex just because I don't like him.

Parabashit: At least I, out of her brothers, love you, come to me Si, we can run away together

Carrot: Well, when did that happen?

Izziethequeen: Parabatai? Would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend? Since our boyfriends are gay now, I would like to join the club aswell as the last straight Lightwood sibling.

Magnushottie: But- You can't just choose to be gay. It doesn't work that way.

Silvia: Magnus?

Magnushottie: Yes, Sarah?

Grumpyarcherboi: Efe i patner hawes u

Silvia: Chill pretty boy, I wanted to ask if you are doing okay

Izziethequeen: Oh no Si, that was the wrong road to go down

Magnushottie: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??????

Parabashit: No, oh no, Simon is about to get killed by a warlock

Carrot: Simonnnn, why did you say that?

Silvia: What? I was being modest

Magnushottie: DON'T YOU EVER DARE CALLING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE A PRETTY BOY. I KNOW HE IS ONE, BUT HE IS MY PRETTY BOY AND NO ONE GETS TO CALL HIM THAT OR ALEXANDER EVER. HE IS MINE AND MINE ONLY. LEAVE UR DIRTY PAWS AWAY FROM MY PRECIOUS FIANCÉE. IT IS OUR THING! ONE WRONG MOVE AND YOU ARE DEAD, VAMPIRE.

Carrot:

Parabashit:

Izziethequeen: Couple goalssssss, finishing each other's sentences.

Grumpyarcherboi: Isn't he just the best? <3 I love you Magnus almost Lightwood Bane. I don't even deserve you. I am the luckiest man alive.

Parabashit: Well, at least someone sobered up. Hope you doing good there, man. Love ya

Carrot: Do you love me too?

Silvia: Fuck Clary, I love you Jonathan Christopher Herondale.

Magnushottie: Alexander, no one is as good as you. Through all those years, I never met anyone who made me feel as passionately and as hard as you make me feel every day, my dear. I don't know what I did but I think making you come to my apartment at least three times a day really paid off. Not to mention kissing you in front of the Clave members, having sex in the institute, and moving in with you in the institute and our new place. Oh, and I have to give Asmodeus some credit for not making me give away all my memories with you. Just small enough to be acknowledged. I don't deserve you but I can make sure you feel loved, valid, and taken care of every day until you take your last breath.

Izziethequeen: Awwwww #malecistheshit

Carrot: It's hot

Parabashit: (they forced me) It's sex

Silvia: It's heaven (or hell)

Izziethequeen: IT'S MALECCCCCCC

Grumpyarcherboi: I don't care what you are doing there but thanks, there's a lot of sex, that's true, wouldn't consider it heaven unless he is inside of me but yeah it's pretty hot ;)

*Grumpyarcherboi deletes message*

Silvia: I saw thattt

Parabashit: Ewww Alec PDA

Izziethequeen: This is the Alec I love

Magnushottie: Alexander, I love you but please keep the thirsty thoughts for us because I don't want to play a god to everyone. I like the fact people think my glitter makes me want you to top me.

Grumpyarcherboi: Actually I just wanted to tell everyone that Magnus is hella talented. He literally confessed that whole paragraph verbally to me while he texted it not looking away from me. A little scary but also sexy. My sexy Warlock boyfriend, much better than Lorenzo.

Magnushottie: Much better than Underhill.

Parabashit: stop putting the bar so high guys, I am still not over the fact, my girlfriend almost kissed her brother

Silvia: But you did that too?

Izziethequeen: Sometimes, Jace, it is better to just plan a beautiful date and say 'I love you' instead of dwelling on the past.

Parabashit: Eh - Wat?

Carrot: Izzy, that is way too educated for Jace to understand

Grumpyarcherboi: UHhhh byeee people who can't keep up with our devoted love

*Grumpyarcherboi leaves the chat*

*Grumpyarcherboi removes Magnushottie from the chat*

Silvia: Izzie? Come outside the institute, I have a surprise that includes flowers, food, and alcohol + blood. Don't forget I love you, just in case you forget in the next ten seconds.

Parabashit: Kinda rude to leave us hanging guys

Izziethequeen: Sorry Clary, I gotta go. Don't wanna leave Si out there alone

Parabashit: Probably would get kidnapped again

Silvia: HEY, I am not a mundane

Carrot: Tbh you got kidnapped after your transition as well

*Silvia leaves the chat*

Izziethequeen: Bye bye bitches

Carrot: Why can't we be like them? Why did I fall for a Shadowhunter? I knew I should have dated Jordan instead. Oh wait he died right, ehm, what about Bat? He seems like a nice guy. Probably gay too tho. Love for a straight girl nowadays is not so easy. I wish Maia and I could just date. So many benefits. Shadowhunters don't work well in a relationship :(

*Parabashit leaves the chat*

Carrot: Ohhh, I forgot I have a boyfriend, whoopsss

*Carrot leaves the chat*