Ugh... my head... hurts...

Where am I? ...It smells nice here...

Hmm? Someone's... someone's... getting my face wet? OW! THAT STINGS! What the-?!

My eyes fly open onto white bandages. Confused, alarmed, I move to pull them off and pain shoots through my back. I gasp aloud, unused to this, and flop back down like a useless fish. My brain's starting to come back to me now, and I realize that something's very wrong.

Sensations flood me suddenly. I feel like I've just woken up for the first time, and I can feel...Oh, what I can feel! It's marvelous... I can feel the crisp sheets on my fur, and there's wind! Wind, moving my hairs ever so softly, I can feel each one moving! What is this? I wish I could see... maybe if I- I attempt to lift my arms again, and fierce pain lances through me-OWW!!! OK, no, not going to do that.

What happened to me? I take a sniff-it appears that the bandages don't cover my nose-and I smell aloe, and burn ointment, as well as... Is that lavender? It...it smells so familiar, but why can't I recall what it's from?

On that note, where am I? How did I get here? My thoughts feel all scrambled and I can hardly remember anything. I scowl, feeling the bandages move. Hang on... When I woke up, wasn't someone putting something on my face? Where did they go?

I open my mouth to speak, and realize that there's bandages there too. A sour taste fills my mouth-Eww, burn ointment!-and I try valiantly to spit it back out.

Suddenly, a door opens. "O-Oh!" They seem to sense immediately that I'm awake. Bare footsteps sound hollowly-Second or third floor (perhaps they have a basement), hardwood floors. Relatively new, I'll bet-as whomever it is shuffles over to me quickly. "Hold still." It's a female, by the voice, and she begins to unwrap the bandages rapidly. Light pours in, and I shut my eyes reflexively. It's not a harsh light, but I seem to be more sensitive than before. She takes a cloth out of a bucket (I can hear the sloshing noise) and begins to wipe the residue off my face. I find myself flinching occasionally-there's something wrong with the skin on my face and the rough washcloth feels like it hurts.

"There. All done," the lady says with a satisfied sigh. "You look much better than when I found you." Her voice is eerily familiar.

I dare to open my eyes a crack, and then I can't help but open them fully. The woman who rescued me...

Is Rouge.

"Hey, there, Shadz." She says with a grin. "Long time no see. You grew up well..." Again with the flirting and the looking me up and down! I scowl, feeling my face grow a little warmer. The year has been kind to her-she looks good at fourteen. She's wearing a deep, royal purple butterfly-winged shirt with a large red heart inside of a larger white heart on it. The right sleeve is lower than the left sleeve (the neck is so huge, both her head and her shoulder fit in it!), and it cuts off right at her bellybutton. She's wearing small jean shorts too that stop only a little bit after the pocket, and freshly-cleaned rain boots. Her ivory white fur is a little longer than it used to be, the hair coming down a bit past her shoulders. Even her eyes seem different-they're more blue now. They look like the ocean... And it's their depth that lets me know that it's her.

"Rouge..." I try to sit up, and again the pain shoots through me..

"Hey, whoa! Down, boy." She gently pushes me back down into the bed with surprising strength. Maybe I'm just feeble and wounded, but I think she's a lot stronger than she looks. "You were pretty badly hurt even before you fell, Spaceman."

"Spaceman...?" I cough. My throat is really dry.

Rouge picks up a cup of water. "Yep. Something happened to your spine. You'll be okay, but," she presses the container to my lips, "you better take it easy for a month or so." I take a few gulps, then she removes the cup and stares at me for a moment.

"What?" I ask, confused. There's an odd glimmer in her eyes, an unidentifiable one.

"Shadow...What happened to you?" The ocean's now awash with concern, and she continues, "When I found you, you were in the middle of a massive amount of destruction. I thought you were dead when I saw-" She stops and looks away, sparkling tears in her eyes.

Silence. I give her a few moments to recompose, and then I break it. "Saw what?" I prompt quietly.

"You. In the middle, surrounded by dirt and flames. And...all the blood..." She turns away again, one elegantly gloved hand pressed to her mouth.

"Blood? What bl-" I begin, but the door opens again and another person steps in.

He's an ivory-white bat, like Rouge, with glittering green eyes. He has on a simple work uniform-brown pants, white shirt, red tie. His short hair is a bit spiky, but more like barely-teased-up rather than punk-teenager-on-his-way-to-a-death-metal-concert. With a soft smile he whispers, "Oh, good! You're awake." as if loud noises might bother me.

"Dad!" Rouge says, wiping away all traces of tears before turning around. "You're back."

"Yes, indeed I am." Rouge's father sits down in a nearby chair and leans forward, looking me in the eye. "Now, Mister 'Spaceman,'" He smiles as Rouge giggles. Oh great...they gave me a nickname while I was unconscious. "My name is John the Bat, and your real name is?"

"I'm Shadow." I say before I can stop myself, and then I immediately find myself saying, "At least, I think so..." Glancing down shyly, I bite my lip. I don't even know anymore, but how do I explain that?

John seems satisfied with this. "What happened to you before you fell?" At my long, awkward pause-Where do I even start?!- he says soothingly, "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to remember yet."

"It's not that I don't want to remember," I mutter with a scowl, "It's that I don't know where to start."

"Start wherever and whenever you like." John chuckles slightly. "There's all the time in the world for you to tell us."

----------------

So, over the next few weeks while my back healed I told the whole family my story, from what I could remember. Everyone was shocked to hear of how I had been lied to, and they all felt sympathy for me. It was unwanted. I don't need sympathy, I need to find the real Robotnik and kill him! I have to get revenge for what he did to me. What kind of sick, twisted mind would do such a thing?! Why did he do this?! Who am I, really? Where do I come from? What am I? Am I a monster?

Do I have a family? I was filled with a burning desire to find my home, where I came from, to seek out any family I might have. Will they recognize me? How will I know? If only I'd been able to download my file...

One morning, I decided I couldn't wait any longer. The only person awake in the house is Rouge, so I figure I can slip out easily and slink off. My back was definitely up to it now, so early one morning I slide out of bed soundlessly. Bandages wrap around my waist, left elbow, and right calf. All of my other wounds had healed; the bandages were pretty much just there to hide the fur I'd lost and keep my new, sensitive skin from being damaged. My shoes had survived the crash (partially-they still worked but they looked all mangled), so I slide them on and turn the air function up to .5 so I can coast just above the floor. I steal-yeah, I stole from the people who helped me. You think I'm happy about it?-some ointment and painkillers, and then skate softly over to the window and open it noiselessly.

Rouge is crouched above it on the other side. "And just where do you think you're going?" She hisses, looking annoyed.

"Out." I growl evasively.

"Where's out?"

"Elsewhere." I slide out the window back-first, wincing slightly at the pain as I have to fold over.

"And what are you carrying, mister?" Her voice is sharp, tart.

"Stuff."

"I didn't know you brought so much with you." Rouge snips pointedly. I remain silent, and there's a long, awkward pause where I'm hanging my butt out the window and she's perched above it scowling at me until I finally confess:

"I'm stuck."

She groans, rolling her eyes, and shoves me back inside. I smack my chin onto the floorboards-hard!-and muffle a squeak. Picking myself up off the ground, I turn around just in time to see her shut the window and lock it. She looks over her shoulder at me and winks cutely. I find my face heating up for absolutely no reason, but I maintain a stoic expression. Gah, how does she always do that to me?!

"You can't just leave like that. Not after all we've done!" She spits, looking frustrated.

"But I have to! If I have to spend one more day under this roof not out there looking for who I really am I'll explode!" I snarl back, feverish. For a moment, she just looks at me. Looks me in the eyes, staring into them. I feel like she's reading me, like she can tell everything about me just from my eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul...

Finally, she whispers, "All right... I'll let you leave." I pick up my things and head for the window, unlocking and opening it. Suddenly she continues, "On one condition."

I freeze.

"You have to take me with you."

I silently sigh in exasperation, closing my eyes. "Rouge, you don't understand-"

"No, you don't understand!" She snaps, stamping her foot on the ground. "Do you have any idea how worried I was for you when I saw you lying there, dying?! I care about you. You're my friend. And if you were gone..." Again, tears are in her eyes. Rouge sniffles, turning away and wiping them off.

I feel horrible. She was so worried about me... "Okay, Rouge," I say reluctantly, "You can come with me."

Rouge turns back around with a grin, all traces of tears gone. "Yay! Thanks, Shadow!" She bounces over to the window and flaps her wings, hopping through easily. I stand still for a moment, baffled. What... the...heck... just happened?! Her demeanor changed so quickly! How?!

"You coming, slowpoke?" She giggles, flapping just outside the open window. I start, and then step up to it. How am I going to fit? I bite my lip and begin to try to climb through awkwardly.

"No, no, no, Shadow," Rouge says with a laugh, "you can't go through one leg at a time, gorgeous. Gotta go headfirst or feet first, and headfirst is easier."

I gulp. "Head...first?" I look down. It's a decent way to the ground.... And I don't particularly want to die today.

"Yep, headfirst!" She sings. "Trust me, its easier than it looks. Just leap through."

"Of course you find it easy, you've got wings!" I protest, backing away. I'm drenched in a cold sweat. For some reason I don't want to leap, don't want to fall again and land on my face, wounded and full of lies...

"...Shadow?" Rouge swoops through the window. "You O.K.?" Her face is once more concerned. I realize that I'm trembling visibly. Stumbling further backwards, I avert my eyes, looking down. Come on, get it together--wh-what's wrong with you?! I berate myself internally, shutting my eyes.

"I..." Gulping, squeezing my hands together in an effort to stop shivering. "I don't want to fall again." I confess, still quivering. God, she's going to think I'm the biggest loser around! Scared to hop out a window... I sit down on the bed, teeth chattering.

She settles down next to me. "Shadow..." Rouge begins, then stops. She looks down at her hands, and then at mine. There's such vast differences between the two of us. My hands shake uncontrollably, fingers twitching, and they long for the comfort of my gloves (which got mostly torn up in the fall, but I still have them). One hand grips the sheets beside me, shivering erratically, and the other I've firmly clasped around my muzzle to keep from crying aloud. Her hands are hidden within sleek white elbow-length gloves, stone-still with the fingers intertwined on her lap. My fur is all standing on end and I'm trying hard not to pant as my lungs seem to shut down. And then, something shocking happens.

Rouge leans over and hugs me tightly. And I realize just how broken I am, just how full of these new emotions and I don't know what to do about them. I'm hurt. I don't know how this can be fixed...

But her hug helps. It's like I've shattered into these pieces, tiny little shards of glass, and she's pulling it all back together into me. What I was, what I suppose I still am. Everything might have been a lie...

But I'm going to find out the truth.

I break down sobbing in her arms and for a good hour we sit there like that, with her rubbing my back gently and I'm just sitting there weeping, unable to stop, and...I think she sings to me. I don't know...I can't remember.

----------------

SoulSilver stands at the scene of a colossal crash. She turns to HeartGold, puzzled. "What do you think could have done this?" And how did it get so close to our mountain?

"No idea," He says, picking up a clod of melted dirt, "But whatever it was isn't alive anymore..." HeartGold makes a disgusted face, dropping the glasslike soil. "Dried blood. All over it."

----------------

Rouge flies along silently beside me, on my left side. She hasn't said a word to me since we set off, but occasionally she gives me a slightly worried glance. I've chosen to ignore it for now, but it's bothering me. Also the fact that she's forcing me to walk along the road IN PLAIN SIGHT is very disconcerting and frustrating. I'm trying to not be noticeable, not be spotted from a mile away. Plus I don't like all the cars everywhere. I nearly have a heart attack when one stops next to us and roll down the window. The incident goes as such:

The car, a sleek black but actually quite ordinary car, cruises up beside us. It slowly rolls the window down and I stiffen as a male voice shouts, "Ey! Rouge!"

Rouge lands, swooping over me and blocking me from his view. "Oi, Uncle!" She yells back. The engine cuts. Uh-oh. That means we'll be here a while.

"What are you doin' out in the daylight again?" The man, another white bat (well duh, Shadow, they're related) leans out slightly, sticking his head and elbow through the window. He has on a playful grin, with short curly hair-shorter than Rouge's used to be-and he's wearing a lazy-day outfit of a T-shirt and jeans. He seems non-threatening, but certainly if he watches the news-!

"Awh, just...ya know... chillin'." She grabs my hand unexpectedly, and I glance at her. What are you doing? I find my face heating up again.

She looks sharply over her shoulder, speaking with her eyes: Just shut up and go along with it.

Huh?! The man looks at our hands and gets a very strange grin on his face. "Oh, I see." He remarks knowingly, and then starts up the engine, chuckling, even though the car wheezes in an elderly fashion, and then shouts, "Well, you two crazy kids have fun!" Flooring it, he zips off quickly.

As soon as he's gone Rouge drops my hand and resumes flying, this time on my right. I stand still for a moment. Her erratic behavior is very confusing to me, but at least she hasn't changed. Much. Though I'd prefer if she could be consistent for once...

"Are you coming or what?" She turns around, frowning at me playfully. I finally find my voice.

"What-what the heck was that?!"

"What the heck was what?" Blinking innocently at me, she makes her eyes extremely wide, deliberately trying to charm me.

Stop looking so adorable, I'm mad at you! But how do I ask her what that was...? I trot up beside her, and we start walking side-by-side. "You grabbed my hand. Why?"

Rouge rolls her eyes. "Honestly. How can you be so naïve? Uncle Raymond wasn't gonna leave us alone if I hadn't done that; we'd still be talking to him. But now, since he thinks we're out on a date, he'll leave us alone."

"Are dates supposed to last for several weeks?" Actually, what is a date? I wonder to myself, perplexed.

"They'll think I went on a mission." She says dismissively.

"Wha--?" Distracted from my previous question by this, I stare at her.

"Oh, that's right..." Rouge blinks, "I guess I haven't told you yet. I work for the government."

"HUH?!" I gape. Her, a secret agent?! Whoa!

She grins, as if reading my mind. "Yeah. Those 'higher powers' I mentioned when we first met? Remember that? They're what I was talking about. I do top-secret missions all the time, can't even tell my own parents about 'em. So they're used to me vanishing for a bit and then just showing up again."

I say nothing. To be honest, I knew she was something else the moment I met her, I just wasn't expecting it to be this kind of something else. An odd silence falls as we walk, and I can feel her thoughts racing around in her head...

No, really. I can feel them. Like they're dust motes, floating in the air. It's a sensation I haven't had since...

Since the waterfall.

Is this the same thing? I mentally imagine myself stretching out a pseudopod, reaching forward... I tap into something new, something else. Controlling a shiver, I poke further inside of it, just like I did with Lightpaws.

...but even though he is weird, I kind of like him. I think we could be good friends. He seems to be a bit unused to the world, though. A little rough 'round the edges. And what's up with his eyes? Red is extremely unusual, even for us furries. I mean, Knux's eyes are purple, but red? Weird.

I blink. She thinks my eyes are weird? I feel slightly insulted, but I continue listening.

...kinda cute though. I almost wish the cover story was true. But I don't have time for that. We're going off to discover the truth. His truth, of where he comes from... It's like some kind of book or something.

Smirking to myself, I think, Oh, Rouge, you can't honestly think that's my plan, can you? And I'm the naïve one... The sun is now getting to be about the two o'clock area. We'll have to find a place to stay the night at some point...

We need to hurry up, she thinks. "We need to hurry up," Rouge grabs my arm and yanks me forward. "For someone raised to be Sonic's equal, you're really slow."

I yip as she begins to tug me along. "Hey! Let go," I growl, irritated, "and while you're at it... I want to learn more about Sonic."

She sighs, letting go. "All right. I guess we're not going to go very far then."

"Don't grumble, we'll go far enough." I say, feigning nonchalance though secretly I want to learn as much about Sonic as I can. If I'm to join one side or the other I need a neutral opinion, like her.

"Sonic is a drifter, he lives like he wants and makes his life one adventure after another. He hates seeing people oppressed and is the defender of freedom across the nation. He's a bit hot-headed, but at the same time he's real easygoing. He can be impatient if you're too slow and he hates to see people cry. He's honest, loyal, keeps his promises," Rouge takes a breath, "and he's very focused with no time for romance." She sighs.

"Well, you don't sound disappointed." I say sarcastically. How amusing. I didn't peg her for one to have emotions like that, though she's certainly good at faking them.

She flushes. "Moron. I'm talking about Amy Rose."

"Who?"

"Sonic's self-appointed girlfriend. She's overeager and determined, with a wicked-heavy Piko Piko hammer. She's also really sweet, a good friend of mine, but totally blind when it comes to boys pushing her away."

"Sounds like a charming girl." I say absent-mindedly, not actually interested. Tell me more about this Sonic...

"Anyhow, back to Sonic." Yes please. "He's taken Tails under his wing like a little brother, and he can curl up into a little ball on the ground or launch himself through the air. In fact, he can spin in place for a moment before rocketing off. All in all, he's a pretty nice guy. He protects the world and you're kinda his nemesis." Rouge looks over at me.

"What, you think I'm gonna be offended? I know this." I growl, rolling my eyes.

She laughs. "No, guess not. Last thing I can think of is his super-form, which you already know about-collect all 7 chaos emeralds and he goes all highlighter-yellow and powerful-and he hates water."

My radar pings. Water? "Why does he hate water?" I ask. This could be useful.

"I dunno, maybe he sinks. He just won't get in water if he doesn't have to."

"...And if he has to?"

Rouge looks over at me, concerned. What is he thinking about? She wonders. You don't want to know, I mentally reply, And you won't ever know if I have my way, bat! "He can manage...but I don't think I've ever seen him swim," she finally answers.

"Interesting. World's fastest hedgehog and he can't swim," I muse, drawing another odd glance from Rouge.

"What are you planning?" She asks. I say nothing, looking at the now-setting sun. There's a pause and then she asks me for a second time, her voice rising. "What are you planning, Shadow?"

"It's getting late." I growl softly, firmly. End of discussion, Rouge.

She stares me down for a second, and I don't meet her eyes for a moment. After a few minutes, I turn and stare at her, reading her thoughts.

So creepy... He's like a robot! ...Well he was at some point y'know. But still. Now that he's not one... What happened to all those emotions? It's like they're gone. I can't read him, it's like looking at a mask to find emotions.

Good, I think, if you can't read me, no one can. She guns me down for another moment, then mutters, "Yeah, guess so. We'll find shelter up a few more miles so hurry up." Spreading her wings, Rouge leaps off into the sky and begins to fly quickly along the road. I jog to catch up, mind whirling. Shelter? All I can see is open road. What does she mean?

"This is your idea of shelter?" I wail, pulling the threadbare blanket up to my neck and exposing my feet. "This sucks! I'd swear there're bugs in here." Making a disgusted face, I poke my head under the cover, frantically looking about.

"Well, someone grew up spoiled," Rouge grumbles from her position-lying down all curled up with the blanket barely covering her, turned away from me.

"I wasn't spoiled but it wasn't as bad as this..." I grouch as I turn away from her. The 'shelter' she mentioned was someone's hedge fence by the side of the road and two teeny, ratty little blankets.

"Shut up already." She yawns, kicking me. I stifle a yelp as well as the instinct to kick her back, snarling softly in the darkness. Bide your time. Don't make her stay up any longer...Just wait till she nods off...

I lie there silently, feigning sleep, and waiting until she, too, falls asleep. She lies silently for a while, and then there's soft snoring. Wait, wait...be patient... I stiffen, each one of my muscles crying out for me to move, to do something. Eventually her snoring becomes a bit deeper, and I roll over.

"Rouge?" I ask quietly. No response comes. I turn and look over her shoulder. Her eyelids are twitching, long eyelashes fluttering and I can tell that she's definitely one hundred percent asleep. Inwardly I sigh with relief.

Picking up my bag, I begin to pack the things I'll need. Leave her the food, and the blankets. You don't need them. Take the medicine, but leave her some of the ointment and painkillers just in case she follows you. Tying it all off, I look back at her. She looks so peaceful... but I know I can't trust her. I can't trust anyone save for myself. Because how can you tell if someone's going to use you? How can I tell that she's not like Robotnik?

Something's wrong with me. I know that, and for some reason I don't mind it. Do normal people think like I do? Does everyone see a villain in the faces of others? Or are they all as blind as I was? Whatever they think, I know I've got to go this alone. I don't trust anyone anymore, and given my track record I'm certain they won't trust me. I got a look at myself in the reflection of that car. First time I saw myself for a while. Ragged fur, growing over the scars from the burns. Wild eyes, those of an animal, and twitchy. I've adopted a natural snarl with my fangs barely showing, my eyebrows are glued to each other by now-I'm always scowling with mistrust and hurt. I look vicious, ready to attack. And I'm no person for friends.

My eyes turn to Rouge again. I feel a bit bad about leaving with no note but we don't have any paper or a pen. Even if I did, what would I say? 'Sorry for ditching you, I just don't trust you'? No. It's better this way. For both of us.

My vision is foggy, and my cheeks are wet. I'm not as baffled by this as I was the first time, and I don't anticipate that this will be the last time I'll shed tears.

"Good-bye, Rouge." I whisper, turning away. I stare up at the moon as I begin to run away. Where to I don't know. Just away. Away from her.

Before she gets hurt.