I was laying in bed sleeping until I felt someone crawl in next to me and start cuddling me, they pulled me close to their chest and started squeezing.

I huffed and opened my eyes " Tyler" I said angrily but he didn't move so I used all my strength to get loose then I sat on him with his arms trapped under my legs " I warned you" I said leaning down kissing him then licking his eye knowing my life was short as I ran out my bedroom door.

I heard a stampede behind me as I took off out the front door but before I could get into the yard Tyler had tackled me into the grass " Your dead" he said spitting on his finger " Don't you think..." He covered my mouth so I couldn't finish.

He was sitting on my chest as he stuck his drooled on finger in my ear, I squealed out feeling his spit slashing in my ear while he had this devilish smirk on his face.

He leaned down close to my face " Want to kiss me you fruity bitch imma make it feel like you got a facial gone wrong" he said wiggling his finger making me squirm more " Tyler leave him be" Dailly said.

Tyler got off me and stood up watching as she walked on the sidewalk then into our yard " EWWW" I screamed out rubbing my ear trying to get his spit out, I heard him laughing and her giggle " Here" she said handing me a napkin with some lipstick " Thanks" I said shoving it in my ear trying to get that gross slimy feeling out.

Today is Halloween and those two had dinner plans before they went out later well far later it's barely noon and I have to say I expected to be dead we haven't done anything gay like that with each other for almost two years we normally did it just to mentally fuck with the other or get them pissed off as a joke.

I walked back inside realizing I was in nothing but boxers, I walked up stairs and into the shower shaking my head I felt extremely bad for doing it because I have just been so strange lately and out of everything I did what we used to do when everything was fine.

I started getting mad at myself for it and I wished Tyler would have beat the shit out of me because I shouldn't have kissed him, I started to cry so I took my sunglasses off and started at myself in the mirror my eyes looked daul.

" Mom" I said watching the tears stream down my face " Mom I-if your listening" I said closing my eyes tight " Please help me... please" I said feeling my heart crack I have never done this before I haven't really talked about them since that day.

" Mom I can't remember why I have these" I said opening my eyes and tracing the hickies I had all down my body " Mom I can't I don't know what's happening to me I feel so alone and it's worse than before" I said then sat on the ground cradling my knees.

" Am I a monster mom, I feel bad if I did something with a girl then I want to know I hate being sexual for no reason, I just kissed Tyler like we used to do and I would run till you saved me or saved him" my voice started cracking as more tears fell down my face.

" Please if Angels even exist then help me... h-help me fix whatever is going on right now" I said completely breaking down into a crying fit for who knows how long.

Once I calmed down I wiped my eyes and finished stripping the rest of my clothes off and stepping into the shower still sniffling with small amounts of tears running down my face, I just wished she was here she always knew how to help me and just what to say and I feel like I just fucked up I shouldn't have done that to Tyler.

I slid down the shower wall and started crying all over again.

--

I was sitting on my bed it was now 3 and I still wasn't sure I even wanted to be awake today, I heard my door open and Dailly walked inside sitting on the edge on my bed " Hey Evan" she said sweetly and I sat up facing her.

" Tyler told me what happened this morning and he was worried about you being upset" she said and I put my head down " Hey don't feel bad ok we do things and it's good" she said placing a hand on my shoulder it was warm but a comforting warm " It's good you were comfortable Evan you did that after how many years you opened up even if your hiding more now it was good and don't be scared or sad" she said in such a caring voice.

I lifted my head a little bit " Things may not go back to normal but having small moments of a time when things were perfect is ok that means you still have that small amount of your old self in you it's good not to lose that" she said pulling me into a hug.

" Now I have to go Tyler thinks I'm in the bathroom keep your head up call Tyler and ask for me if you need someone" she said letting go of me and walking out of my room, I felt cold she was warm and comforting.

I sighed laying back on my bed staring at the ceiling letting her words sink in, its good... its ok... not to lose it... a small amount of your old self, I rolled over grabbing a pillow and holding it close to my chest as I thought maybe I can get past this maybe what ever is going on with me will pass since I did that maybe I can do this, I just hope it don't take years.