I lay awake in the bed. I stare at the ceiling. How am I suppose to be in love with him? How the hell did that happen?! How the hell can I love a man like him? A polyamorist?!

Fuck! Why did this had to happen to me? Why can't I be all icy-cool-feeling-like? You know, why can't I just not care about him?! Why does he have to be so freaking perfect?! Why does he have to do such loving and perfect things to me? Stupid me! Stupid me for falling in love with a guy who is in a relationship with seven other women as I lay in this bed with him! This is wrong. So wrong.

But why does it feel right then?

"Can't sleep either?" I hear his voice beside me.

"Yes"

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking. You?"

"The same. What about?"

"Everything, I guess. You?"
"My Family."

I continue staring at the ceiling.Lots of thing runs into my mind again. Would he have done what he did for every woman? Or did he just do it for me? I don't know. I have no comparison. No one has ever been in the Faulkerson/Grey/Sloane mansion. I wonder if that's good sign. I mean, he must've broken another one of his rules to get me in there. Damn it.

"Do you want to talk?"

"Not really. You?" I ask him back.

"Don't you want to know what Valerie said about you?"

"Horrible things I assume. I'll ask Patricia when we're back in Manhattan."

"Don't you want to hear it from me?"

"No."

"Why?"

"It'll make it only painful coming from you. Patricia on the other side....She can't hurt me."

"What do you mean by that? She's is your best friend."

"Yes. That's why. We've been through so much together that we're unable to hurt each other--no matter what we do or say." I explain and look at him for a second.

"I understand. She's like family."

"More than family, actually." I say and stare at the ceiling again.

"I'm fucked up, you know." He says after a minute of silence.

"You are perfect. Not fucked up."

"My mother was a crack whore." He says in a cool voice. My eyes move from the ceiling down to him beside me. "See? I'm fucked up."

"I'm more fucked up." I say and look at the ceiling again.

"I got raped at the age of fifteen." I say and feel his hand on mine only a second later. The electricity runs through my veins as soon as he touches me. Damn it.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, wait for it, it gets better. I got raped by husband number two and his best friend Thomas."

"That's-"

"Wait for it, it gets even more better. I got raped by the very same Thomas we just met a couple of hours ago. Eva's husband." I say and continue staring at the ceiling.

"I don't know what to say. Sorry is not enough for what they have done to you."

"That's already water under the bridge."

"Is that why you wanted to leave the horse race so soon out of the sudden?"

I nodd, "Yes. I can't bare his dirty little hands on me. With that pathetic little grin..." I shiver. "See? I am more fucked up that you are."

"There are still some stories which are untold, Miss Mendoza."

"For both of us, Mr. Faulkerson." I say and close my eyes.

The next morning I got woken up by the beautiful smell of hot coffee and fresh baked bread. I stretch myself in the bed and notice that's already empty. I get up and look out of the window. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust to the bright of the sun, which is sunning above the ocean. I yawn as I walk into the bathroom. I close the door and was my face. Then I look at my reflection. I look horrible I have a huge dark circles under my eyes. My hair is a mess--as always. I sigh, last night was a bad night.

I put my hair in a messy bun as I walk down the hallway, following the smell of hot coffee.i yawn as I reach the dining room. Richard is already sitting at it, reading the New York Times and drinking hot coffee. He also already ate. Pancakes. He's wearing a dark pair of jeans and a dark grey shirt--way too casual for him. I usually see him in grey suits. I have to blink, to see if I see him properly. Yeah, he is dressed casually.

"Morning." I say as I walk over to him. I sit next to him and pour hot coffee into my cup.

"Good morning, Miss Mendoza. How was your sleep?"

"Horrible. Can' t you tell by the huge dark circles under my eyes?" I say, taking a sip of my coffee.

"There are no circles under your eyes."

"Oh of course you have to be perfect. Look all Vogue-like." I say and roll my eyes. "It's such a shame, I don't."

He chuckles and smiles, "You should eat your breakfast, I have something planned for us before we drive back."

"Another road trip to your parents?" I joke.

He doesn't seem to understand my joke. "No." He says in an icy voice.

"Too soon for that."

I nodd as I start eating my pancakes. "Good to know."

He takes another sip of his coffee before he focuses on the newspaper again.

"What are we going to do?"

"I will teach you how to rid a horse. Like I originally wanted to do yesterday." He says in a cool voice and I look over his shoulder as I see his widen eyes.

Fuck. "Is that....I mean..are we really...? I ask him shocked. No doubt. The black and white printed in the newspaper of Richard and me from the horse race . There's a whole article about us. Under the picture it says: Richard Faulkerson and girlfriend... Am I his girlfriend? If so, I am only one of seven.

The article on the other hand says something different. It says that it's the first time Richard showed up with a woman beside him. That it must've been something serious and blah blah blah. Then one word caught a my eye: pregnant. They accuse me of being pregnant, since some journalist must've seen me throwing up. And I only drank water- which is the ultimate prove, according to them. Yet they wondered why there wasn't an engagement ring on my finger. Stupid media..

I stare shocked at Richard. He looks just as suprised as me.

Then he closes the newspaper, "Now you know why I don't have any female company with me at social events. I hate rumors."

I nodd, "Will you teach me how to ride a horse today?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because I'm pretty sure some paparazzi will find us and take pictures of us."

He shruggs, "I promised you. I don't break my promises."

I nodd, and wonder if he really did it promise to me.

"So w'ere are we driving to?" I ask him as we pass several fields. It's a beautiful sunny May noon.

"To my ranch."

"You have a ranch?" I ask him suprised.

"I told you I like horses."

"Yes, but liking horses and owning a ranch are two different pairs of shoes." I say shocked and shake my head, " You're full of surprises, Mr. Faulkerson."

"So are you, Miss Mendoza." he says smiling as we slowly reach the ranch.

"How many horses do you own?"

"Sixteen. No wait, fifteen. One died a couple of months ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It was old. Frank"s time was up." he says with a shrugg.

"How can you be so cool about death?"

"They're just horses."

"Not when you grew up with them. They are like cats and dog-- you have them a whole lifetime."

"Fifteen to eighteen years."

"That's a whole lifetime for me." I say to him and he smiles.\\Well, I didn't grow up with them. Neither did I ever own a cat or a dog."

"No pets?"

"No pets." he says as we drive into a parking spot.

"You?"

"No pets for me either. But I had a friend in kindergarten who had a dog. I was so jealous of her for that dog. It was an Australian Shepherd. The most beautiful dog if you ask me."

"Does it still live? The dog, I mean" he ask as we get out of the car.

I shrug, "she move when I was sick. No idea if the dog or she is still alive. I like to believe they are." I say as we walk over to the stables. "So, which horse will I ride today?"

"You get the easiest one, Amy. A beautiful black horse." he says as we reach the stables. "She 's very tamed. She hardly does anything inappropriate. It's the right horse for you."

"Why don't I get to ride....uhm... Number two from the horse race? It's my horse anyway." I ask him.

He laughs, "Randy. And you won't get to ride him because he's just there for horse race. There are professional trainers for them."

I nod, "So, no Randy."

"No Randy." he says as he opens the stable. I see a beautiful black horse staring at me.

"God, she's amazing." I say totally in love with her already. Just like with the owner, my subconsciousness remarks. I shake my head, "You sure she won't throw me off or something?"

"She won't hurt you, I promise." Richard says as he leads her out of the stable.

"Good. And if she does--"

"She won't."

"But if she does, then it will be all your fault and you will owe me one extra night with you." I say as he puts on the underlay for saddle.

He grins at me before he puts on the saddle, "Deal."

"Which one will you ride?" I ask him, looking around. It's beautiful here. All these horses. But the smell makes it kind of horrible again. Horse dung.

"I'll teach you first and then we'll ride at the ocean. I'm going to take Jackie. She's the rebel." he explains as I walk around in the stable.

I stop at the stable which it says Jackie and peek through the metal bars. I see a beauty in white standing there, staring into my eyes. Then she neighs at me, lifting her head before I hear her hooves scratching on the floor. She's definitely ready for a ride. And definitely a rebel.

"Why is it so silent here?" I ask him as I wall back. "Don't you have staff members to take care of them?"

"I do. But I already informed them that I would be coming up today and I wanted to be left alone with you." he says with soft smile on his lips and I see that the horse is ready for me.

"I do have to admit, I have a hand full of respect for this huge animal." I say as I reach him.

"Have you ever ride a horse before?" he ask me as he hold up his hand for me.

I take it and help me to get on Amy. "Once. I was thirteen. Pretty young. Seems like ages ago, if you ask me." I say as I get seated. "Pretty high." I say, looking down at him.

"You'll get used to it."

"Lucky me, I don't suffer from acrophobia."

He laughs, "Yeah that would be a real problem." he says as he slowly leads me out to a field.

"You sure she won't throw me off?" I ask him respectfully.

"And if she does, I know what to do to make it up to you, Miss Mendoza." he says with a soft smile on his lips.

I return his smile right away- only mine being goofier, in love.

"Okay." I say confidently, "what do I have to do next?"

An hour later I feel the air blowing through my hair as we gallop at the beach. Of course, Richard is slightly faster than me, since he has Jackie and I only Amy. Who is beautiful and really nice to re-learn how to ride a horse and anything, but on speed... Yeah...Jackie is definitely the better choice. It's beautiful at the beach. Being on the horse it feels like you're flying. An amazing feeling.

Richard lowers the speed of his horse and I do the same, until we meet.

"You're a fast learner, Miss Mendoza." He says as we got next to each other.

"I've had a good teacher, Mr. Faulkerson." I say to him with a smile in my lips. "It's amazing. The horse riding, the ocean, the air... Everything."

He returns my smile, "We should eat something before we head back."

I nodd, agreeing with him as I already feel hungry.

He stops his horse and I do the same with Amy. He gets off Jackie and help me getting off Amy. Getting on and off a horse is a little difficult. Then we take the horses by their reins as we continue walking down the beach.

"How long have you been riding?" I ask him as I feel the wind blowing through my hair.

"Since I was twelve." he explains and I smile at him before my eyes focus on the horizon again. Suddenly I see a single table at the end of the ocean. A table with plates on it. amazed I look at Richard, "Really, more surprises?!"

"Not a surprise. We just need to eat something."

"We could have gotten hot dogs at one diners at the beach." I say to him.

"But I don't like hot dogs."

"You live in Manhattan and don't like hot dogs?"

He shrugs, "Never been a fan of them."

"Ever tried them."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes! Because if you never tried them then you can't even judge." I say to him as we slowly reach the table.

"I'll try one when we're back, then."

"You will love them."

"Oh I doubt it. I don't love, remember?'

That felt stitch into my heart. Of course, I remember. I do. All to well. "Uhmm, yeah. But you know what I mean You will really like it."

"Maybe." he says as he ties the horses unto a metal bench.

"They won't run away?" I ask him, unsure about this.

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Now, let's eat. I bet you're starving."

"I am not-" my stomach protest, "Fine. Maybe I am."

"Good. I have oysters on the menu."

I frown, "Oysters?"

"Don't you like them? he asks me as we get seated.

"No, I... I've never eaten one. I have no idea how to open them."

He smiles at me softly, "They are already a little bit open. Crack them open and then pour the flesh into your mouth. Don't bite on it, otherwise it will taste bitter."

I nodd and do as he says. I crack the oyster and open and pour it into my mouth. It taste good. Salty. Not like anything I've ever taste before. there's absolutely nothing I can ever compare it to.

"And?"

"It's good. Delicious." I say to him.

He smiles, "I knew you would like them."

Maybe he knows me better than I do. I have the feeling actually. All these new experiences. A horse race, a family dinner, horse riding, these oysters.... He also knew that the family dinner would be a suicide. I should have listened to him. After all, he does know me better than I do.

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