At this point in my life, I didn't have much to lose personally by taking the tiny little risk of airing out some dirty laundry that really wasn't anyone's business.

I had already forgone an unpaid internship that could put my career on the right track because my family needed money, I had made a fool of myself by not just saying yes to Corey in front of thousands of people, and now, I was throwing away the journalistic integrity in which I had taken pride for my years at the University of Wisconsin. It was all for a variety of good reasons, of course, but it wasn't like everyone would know or understand those reasons.

The only people who knew that our newspaper was struggling were Isabel, Dr. Lambert, and me (along with anyone who actually put half a second of thought into it), but with a few words, I could get us back on the right track. With a few words, I could finally tell my side of the story. Then it would truly be in the hands of the people to use that information and decide who and what was really right.

In a way, I was really doing the right thing, not only for me, but for all Badgers.

Well, except for Corey, but that was a necessary casualty.

I sat in front of my laptop, unsure of how I wanted to start setting the record straight. There was a lot of responsibility that came with that, but at least I had a little bit of education and training in dealing with the media, unlike some others.

Well, Layla, if that was a shot at Corey, that's simply not true. He had been dealing with the media since high school.

I took in a breath. No matter how upset I was, I did have to stick to the truth of what really happened and what I was really going through.

Even though I figured that the words would start pouring out of me once I sat down and started writing my thoughts, no words found their way from my keyboard to the screen. There wasn't a single thought in my mind about where I needed to start my story.

Maybe starting with my feelings would get the brainstorming process going.

I am mad. I paused for a moment. That really wasn't good enough of a start. I am pissed off that I'm this sad about Corey.

That was a little better, but it still didn't even begin to cover what truly happened that evening.

But before I could continue trying to write my revenge, a familiar voice spoke out from behind me.

"You busy?" Ryan asked.

I slumped back in my chair in defeat. "Not yet, at least." I paused for a moment. "I'm really sorry about lashing out on you last night. Obviously I was a little bit more upset than I wanted to be about that whole thing."

"Don't worry about it. We've all been there." Ryan hesitated. "Well, everyone has not been in quite the same situation, but no one is a stranger to getting their heart broken. It sucks."

I put on a small smile. "It really does."

"So did you find a story worth pursuing?" Ryan asked as he gestured towards my laptop.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I thought maybe I should write out my side of the story, and if that's any good, I'll give it to Isabel so she can do what she wants with it."

"I thought you just wanted this story to die already."

"I do, but I also think it's important to make sure everyone knows the facts so they can form an educated opinion."

"About a story that won't matter in a year?"

I nodded. "For them, yes, but it's still going to matter to me in a year."

"What even is there to say, Layla?" Ryan asked. "It's all over, isn't it?"

"I mean, yeah, but we need a story, and I'm just gonna have to jump on this grenade."

Ryan hesitated. "I must be missing something, then, because it doesn't make any sense that you would want to put yourself in this situation."

"You must be," I said. "We need a story, and we need a headline that steals attention. My response to public humiliation? That's gold."

"That's fool's gold, Layla, and you know that."

I looked back down at my pitiful screen. "Would you stop distracting me all the time? I need to get this work done before three today."

He stepped back out into the hallway. "I just didn't think you were the type to sign your name on something so meaningless."

"I'll let you read the piece before I send it to Isabel, okay? Then you can make up your mind when you have all the facts."

"You do that," Ryan said, and with that, he left.

I shook my head. Who needed men when karma was my boyfriend?

***

Isabel looked up at me from the computer screen with a smile on her face. "This is exactly the kind of article we need right now. Thank you. I know it wasn't easy for you—"

I cut her off. "Oh, once I got going, it was easy."

Isabel let out a delighted laugh. "It takes a certain kind of personality to know that the show must go on, and I didn't know that you had it in you until today, Layla. This may keep The Badger Times afloat for now."

I nodded. "Well, someone had to do it."

"Thank you. It means a lot to know that you're trying to make sure we don't go under on my watch. It may be your watch at this point, but that's your problem for later."

My watch?

It was the first time that Isabel had ever referenced what was going to happen to her position upon her graduation in the spring in front of me, and while she didn't control who got it, an endorsement from her wouldn't hurt my case in the slightest.

I kept a smile from sneaking onto my face. I wasn't sure where I was going to find the time to make all the decisions at her desk in her office, but I would make time for being the student editor-in-chief.

But I was getting a little ahead of myself, wasn't I? There still had to be a program when the time came if I wanted to be in charge of it. And Mom's health couldn't take a turn for the worse, either. I wasn't sure I could manage anything more in that department even without the added responsibility of my own name plate and office.

Isabel went back to the screen. "It's just brilliant. It's personal, it's emotional, it's everything your first public response should be. It takes guts to make an unplanned proposal with no emotional support diamond in your back pocket. I cannot take that away from him, but the guts, heart, and brain are located in different places for a reason." She looked back up at me. "I mean, who thinks like that?"

Was that a trick question? Those were my words that I had literally just written. "Well, I do, obviously. It's not really anything special. It's just how I feel."

She shook her head with a smile. "Well, how you feel is some absolutely fantastic shit. I'll be trying to figure out how to market this story to get as many eyes as possible, but it'll be up for everyone to read as soon as I can polish it all up."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"No, Layla. Thank you. It is hard to put yourself out there like this, but it'll all be worth it in the end," Isabel said.

In the end? It felt worth it right now.

It took about twelve seconds for my heart to fall into my guts after I shut her office door behind me, but I didn't turn around and ask for my words back. Those words were harsh but true, and even my mother had told me that I needed to let myself feel everything so I could finally put it behind me and move on.

My feelings were in the hands of Isabel, and that was a vulnerable place to be. Much more vulnerable than I originally thought. I thought I was the one with all the power, but maybe I was mistaken.

Oh, Layla, was this really worth it? Or did Ryan actually have a point?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for reading and supporting me. It means a lot to me, and I really appreciate it.

So for today's question, do you have any recurring dreams or nightmares?

I usually don't dream when I sleep, but there is one dream that I have once every few months that absolutely rattles me to my core every single time: my teeth falling out. I cannot stand the thought of that happening to me since I spent so much of my childhood getting work done on my teeth. Supposedly it's a common dream that I've heard means that you feel like you lack control in life. I don't know if that's true, but I guess my subconscious isn't that creative of a storyteller, or she's a complete control freak.