TW !: themes of anxiety/anxiety attacks

THIRTY EIGHT.
( are we too young for this? ) 

"Ladies and gentlemen...you've been waiting a long time, but we're finally here. Dojos from all across the Valley have been training for a year for their shot at glory. You ready to meet 'em? You? You? Alright! This sensei and dojo need no introduction. He took the All Valley by storm in 1984 and '85 and quickly became one of the greatest underdogs in the history of the sport. Last year, this dojo came out of nowhere..."

Emmy tuned out the rest of whatever Daryl said for Miyagi-Do, rubbing her temples.

"Everything all right, Ms. LaRusso?"

She looked up, seeing Silver standing not too far from her. She sighed. "Yeah. Just thinking."

"About winning this tournament I hope."

She bit her lip. "I just... I don't know if I can do it again."

"What? Be champion? Well you're obviously not with that mindset. Come here."

Emmy hesitantly walked closer to him, and almost gasped when he put a hand on her shoulder. "Kreese has told me what an extraordinary student you have been for the past year. And from my short time as your sensei, I can say that you are by far one of the most hardest working students Cobra Kai has ever seen."

"Really?" Emmy asked.

"Of course," he chuckled. "You have the raw talent, you always go 200%, and most importantly you have that Cobra Kai mindset and aggression."

"Mindset?"

"Yes. You know exactly what your limits are, but you are not afraid to push past it. You're also not afraid to use all that you've got. That's where the aggression comes in. You're as strong as you are because you know what anger to channel. And you know how to use it well. That's why you make the perfect Cobra Kai student."

"Oh," was all Emmy could say.

"I'm just glad that you know your worth," he patted her shoulder with a grin. "That you know that Cobra Kai is all that you need. It's refreshing to have such a devoted student."

Emmy just stared up at him, feeling something stir in her.

"Excuse me?"

She turned around, seeing a venue staff member. "You two are a part of Cobra Kai? Because you're about to go on."

Silver nudged her forward. "Come on."

Emmy walked alongside him, her hands tightly clenched at her sides as she made her way towards the curtain, immediately going to Robby. "Hey."

He whipped around. "Hey. I was looking for you. Where were you?"

"Uh, I just went to take a breather," she glanced over at Silver, who looked back at her and nodded. She sucked in a breath, her shoulders now tense.

"This next dojo took last year's title. But they're under new management. Can they reign supreme once more? Last year's champion and first ever female champion of the All Valley Tournament, Emmy LaRusso, can she become a two time champion? Or will last year's runner-up? He may be wearing a new gi, but one thing's for sure, Robby Keene and his team are ready to strike! Hailing from Reseda, defending champions and still the most badass name for a dojo, here comes Cobra Kai!"

Silver and Kreese emerged from the curtains and smoke, looking around smugly at their adoring fans. Emmy stood directly in front of Silver, hands at her sides and remained stoic as the dojo walked over to their spot, feeling the stares of some Miyagi-Dos.

"And finally their dojo is making their All Valley debut, though you'll recognize a few familiar faces. Every year, a new dojo rises up the ranks. Does this newcomer have what it takes to win it all? Please welcome Eagle Fang Karate, led by Sensei Johnny Lawrence and last year's second runner-up Miguel Diaz!"

Emmy clenched her jaw as she watched Johnny jog out of the fog with his students, watching the back of Miguel's head as they settled into their spot. She looked down at the mat, biting the inside of her cheek.

"At the end of the day, only one of these dojos can be crowned Gran Champion. Welcome to the 51st annual All Valley Under - 18 Karate Tournament! It's karate time."

"All right, fall in," Kreese gathered all of the students together. "All your training has brought you to this moment. Remember, if you win, you don't just get a trophy. You get the glory. And you get to know forever that you are a champion. I have had students with all the talent in the world squander their moment. Do not let history repeat itself. Do not let your emotions cloud your judgement. And above all, do not let anything stand in the way of your victory."

"Just to be clear," Silver stepped forward. "That's not a pep talk. That's an order. And we're all gonna follow Sensei Kreese's orders today, aren't we?"

"Yes, Sensei!"

"Aren't we?"

"Yes, Sensei!"

"Let's go win this! Come on!"

"LaRusso, a word?" Kreese raised an eyebrow. She wasn't going to be up until the end of the skills competition, so he wanted to use this time to talk to her.

"Yes, Sensei?" she placed her hands behind her back.

"How are you feeling?"

Emmy stilled at the simple question. "Is that a serious question?"

"Yes. It's not a crime to want to know how my star student is doing."

She sighed. "To be honest, I'm nervous as shit."

"Don't be," he simply told her. "I know you're going to blow this whole thing out of the water."

She deadpanned at him. "Thanks for taking the pressure off."

He lowly chuckled. "Ms. LaRusso, I'm not here to give you pressure, but for you to realize your worth. Today is your day. Take control over it."

"My worth?" she furrowed her eyebrows. Silver had said that same phrase earlier.

"Yes. For you to be successful, you need to know your worth. Finding that in yourself is what'll make you win against your enemies."

She looked over at where Miyagi-Do and Eagle Fang stood, seeing that a girl she had never seen before wearing the Eagle Fang gi and breaking boards on the mat. "How the hell am I supposed to know what my worth is?"

"You have to dig deep. Find the fire that made you who you are. But otherwise, that question is yours to answer."

Kreese walked away from her, leaving her in her thoughts. She just let out a long breath. What was her worth? Did she even have one? Was she worthless?

She quickly shook off her thoughts, walking back over to her place, and patiently waited for her time to come. She watched as Kyler got into place in front of the stacks of cement blocks, and broke them with his head. She raised her eyebrows at that.

"He was always such a hard head," she said in amusement. She glanced over at Silver, who nodded for her to go. She nodded back, walking to the edge of the mat where she stood a few yards away from Kyler.

She then began to run forward, Kyler ducking down right as she was about to reach him, and flipped over his back. The arena erupted in cheers. From afar, Robby and Tory quietly celebrated, turning to each other and high-fived.

Emmy contained her smile, knowing that it took her weeks to nail that flip and it was now paying off. She got into a straight pose, staring ahead of her before turning to the right, getting into a fighting position. And with a loud shout, she charged forward, her foot slamming down into the cement block Kenny was holding and breaking it in two.

She wasted no time running towards the next one, this time thrusting her fist forward, and shattered the block into pieces. She immediately felt the pain bloom in her knuckles, but she bit down on her tongue, ignoring it.

She took a deep breath, turning to the next one, ran forward, placing one foot onto the block and the student holding it hoisted her up, giving her speed to flip over and quickly kick the block behind her before her heel slammed down on the one she had jumped onto.

The arena exploded in cheers again, and Emmy bit down on her lip to hold in her smile. She firmly placed her arms by her side, bowing, along with Kyler and the others. She and Kyler did a quick fist bump before walking back to their spots.

Emmy smiled as she reached Tory, the both of them quickly hugging each other. She turned to Robby, who gave her a grin.

Good job, he mouthed.

You too, she mouthed back.

"And just like that, Miyagi-Do has been snake bit as Cobra Kai takes the lead, with our qualifier rounds up next."

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom," Emmy quietly said to Tory, who nodded.

"Be quick."

She gave a brief nod before slipping away, taking a big inhale as she made it to the hallway. She placed her hands on her knees, feeling like her heart was going to beat out of her chest.

Emmy was so nervous that she was making herself sick over it.

"Emmy?"

She gasped, her head whipping to the sound. Her eyes widened at him, and she quickly stood up straight, tightening her ponytail. She quickly cleared her throat. "Hi."

Eli didn't move from where he stood. "Are you... Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she quickly said, her lips quirking up in a smile. "Just taking a quick breather."

He nodded, awkwardly rocking on his heels. "You did great out there, by the way."

"Thanks. You too."

There was another awkward silence and Emmy sucked in a breath. "I'm gonna go."

"Oh, yeah! Go ahead," Eli stepped aside, watching as she rushed past him and sighed once she was out of view. The Emmy he just talked to now was much more different than the one who cut off his mohawk. This Emmy felt much more familiar. But he shook his head. There was no way. Emmy was in too deep with Cobra Kai. There was no getting her out.

Emmy quietly walked back into the venue, wiping her sweaty hands on her gi and walked up to Robby. He glanced at her before doing a double a take. "You okay? You look sick."

"I might as well be," she breathed out eyes darting around. "I'm anxious as hell and I just saw my ex-best friend whose mohawk I cut off."

"Okay, okay. Let's take some deep breaths," Robby placed his hands on her shoulders, stepping in front of her so she was no longer looking at the hundreds of people in the stands. "You're gonna psych yourself out."

She nodded along, sucking in a deep breath and thickly swallowed. "I just need this day to go right so I don't disappoint Sensei Kreese or Sensei Silver. They're counting on me so much and I'm scared I'm gonna screw it up."

"Hey, hey, hey," Robby could see tears forming in her eyes and heard the way her voice broke mid sentence. "Don't you think about that right now. Don't think about them. Think about you. This is about you. It's your day. Okay?"

Emmy nodded again, swallowing the large lump in her throat. Robby could only look at her with sympathy. He didn't know the extent of Kreese and Silver's pressure on her, but it was enough to shake her up.

"LaRusso. You're up," both teens turned to Kreese, and saw another girl on the mat, bouncing on her feet.

Emmy let out a shaky breath, turning back to Robby. "Tell me I can do it again. Tell me that I can win."

He moved his hands to her face. "You can do it again. You can win."

She took a few short breaths, looking up into his eyes before her face hardened. She tapped his back, and he pulled away from her. "Okay. You got this, Em!"

Emmy shook out her limbs, stepping onto the mat. Her eyes stared intensely at the girl in front of her, getting in her fighting position. The girl copied, smirking smugly. "Your friend's cute."

And suddenly, Emmy felt a surge of red, hot rage. The referee started the fight, and she let out a shout, lunging forward and threw the first punch. The girl was clearly not expecting that as she barely blocked it with her arm.

Emmy almost instantly found her weakness. She had a poor reaction time. She then crouched down and swept her legs out from under her. The girl squealed as she hit the mat, and Emmy slammed her foot down onto the girl's chest.

"Point! LaRusso!"

She smiled to herself, taking a step back. She was going to waste no time to qualify. Emmy craned her neck side to side, getting back into her fighting position. She smirked as she realized she had shaken her opponent up. "No more talk?"

The girl glared, clenching her fists tightly and got into her own fighting position.

"Ready? Fight!"

This time, the girl surged forward, throwing a kick that Emmy quickly ducked under, grabbing the girl's ankles and pulled it back, causing her to flip onto her back once more. Emmy gave a shout and punched her into the top part of her chest.

"Point! LaRusso!"

"Let's go, Emmy!" Tory, Robby, and Kenny cheered for her.

She gave them a quick wave, stepping back as the ref had to help the girl up. Her eyes glimmered as she watched her clutch her chest, her face full of pain. Emmy smirked, lazily getting into her fighting position.

"Ready? Fight!"

Emmy threw a kick first, the girl immediately backing away from it, and moved away from another one. She grabbed onto Emmy's foot, tucking it under her arm and went to swing for her, but Emmy stopped her hand just in time, hopping on her left foot before jumping and connecting it with the girl's face.

The sound of the hit made people around them wince, and Emmy smugly looked down at her. "Don't talk about him ever again."

"Point! LaRusso! Winner!"

The ref raised up Emmy's arm, showing everyone her victory. She then walked back to her dojo, seeing a poster with her name on it in the crowd.

She smiled at it, turning to Robby. "I can do this."

He smiled back at her. "You can do this."

✸

"All right, folks. We've witnessed some great fighting today. But you ain't seem nothing yet. Because we have arrived at the quarterfinals! Which means things are about to get intense. Of the eight boys and eight girls on this stage, one of each will be name All Valley champion. And then we'll tally all the points to determine which dojo has earned the title of Grand Champion. And since the points get higher in each round...it's still any dojo's game! So you keep your eyes on this here blue mat, because we are just getting started!"

Emmy was to go up against a girl named Devon Lee, who was a new student of Johnny's. She had seen the girl in previous matches, and couldn't lie that she was impressive for how little she trained.

"All right, remember what you learned. Find her weakness, and use it against her," Silver told her as she was stretching for her fight. "This should just be a warm up for you."

"Shut up," she snapped. "You talking in my damn ear is gonna make everything worse."

She walked away from him and onto the mat, but Silver just smirked. This was just what he wanted.

Emmy and Devon walked towards each other, Emmy glaring into her. They bowed to each other, getting into their fighting positions. "You do know that you're just my replacement, right?"

Devon's face hardened. "I'm no one's replacement."

Emmy snorted. "Keep telling yourself that. Johnny just wants a new female champ cause he couldn't keep me."

"Ready? Fight!"

Devon let out a cry, charging forward and sent Emmy a flurry of punches and kicks. Emmy's face scrunched in concentration, ducking and blocking from all that she could. She then dove her head into Devon's chest, making her take a step back and Emmy sent her own attacks.

Devon had to keep on backing up as she was blocking all of Emmy's punches and kicks, even sending some of her own. Emmy noticed that they were headed for the out of bounds area, and clenched her jaw.

She grabbed Devon's arm and pulled her into her before using all of her arm strength and slammed her down onto the mat, her hair hitting the out of bounds area. Emmy quickly punched her chest, and she took a step back.

"Point! LaRusso!"

Devon groaned in frustration, hitting the mat as she sat up and got back to her feet.

"You even fight like how I used to," Emmy commented, tightening her ponytail. "Take that as a compliment."

"I'm not you!" Devon angrily exclaimed.

"No. You're not," Emmy lightly smiled, her face slowly dropping in resentment. "Because I'm better."

"Ready? Fight!"

Emmy wasted no time, lunging towards Devon and launched her foot up, her heel slamming against the underside of the Lee girl's chin. Devon stumbled back, hand clutching her jaw.

"Point! LaRusso!"

Emmy couldn't help but laugh, turning over to Silver, who raised his eyebrows in amusement. He was liking what she was doing.

Devon was now furious, hands clenched together so tightly that they turned white. "Stop comparing me to you. I'll never be you. I'm me."

"Of course you're you," Emmy waved her off, calmly getting into her fighting position. "No one can be like me. Although Johnny wishes you were."

"Ready? Fight!"

Devon's fist were practically trembling with rage, immediately swinging for Emmy's face, but the girl dropped the ground, now behind Devon. "Over here."

Devon shouted, turning around and spun a kick Emmy's way, but Emmy caught her leg, spinning her back. Devon groaned in frustration, charging at Emmy with a combination of moves, but Emmy had seen these before. Because she used to be Johnny's student and she knew what he teaches. And he just so happened to teach them the perfect counters.

Emmy grabbed one of Devon's arm that was heading to strike her, using her hand and hit the crease on the inside. Devon's arm faltered for just a second, but it was enough time for Emmy strike the lower part of her back and land a kick across her face.

"Point! LaRusso! Winner!"

Emmy grinned as the ref raised her arm in the air, watching Devon stand up in shock. "Remember. I know how you fight way better than you do."

Devon huffed and stomped back over to Johnny.

"And with that, Eagle Fangs hopes of winning Girls All Valley Champ have gone up in smoke."

Emmy went back to her team, her grin growing wider as she spotted Robby waiting for her with open arms. She ran towards him, throwing her arms around him and giggling when he lifted her up from the ground.

"You killed it out there," he said, putting her down and pulling away from her.

"Just had to find her weakness like Sensei said. All I had to do was say the right things and she used up all her fire in the first ten seconds. I guess she hates being second best."

Robby chuckled and shook his head at her, elbowing her side. "I'm proud of you."

"You wanted to beat Miyagi-Do so badly you gave Cobra Kai all of our secrets," Daniel's voice pulled them out of their moment, the two teens turning to him.

Robby shrugged. "The goal is to win. I did what I had to do."

"And you're not one to talk to about combining styles," Emmy scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Daniel just nodded. "If all you care about is winning, then you didn't learn anything I taught you."

Emmy inched towards him, but Robby stopped her. "Everybody thinks their way is the only way. You, my dad, Cobra Kai. Truth is, it doesn't matter which way you fight as long as it works. And I'll use whatever it takes to win."

"Why?" Daniel asked. "To get back at your dad? Me? Sam? The world? If that's the case I have another Miyagi-Do secret that you can slip to your friends. Never put passion in front of principle. Because even if you win, you lose."

Emmy looked over at Robby, seeing the expression on his face. She clenched her jaw and took a step towards her dad. "Get out of here with your nonsense."

Daniel just sighed and walked away.

"You okay?" Emmy turned to Robby.

He just silently nodded.

✸

"Kenny!"

Emmy's eyes widened as she watched Kenny clutch his nose and run off the mat, running past her and towards the doors. She turned back to Robby, who bowed at the ref and rushed towards the direction Kenny ran off to.

Tory quickly stepped in front of him. "Just let him cool off. Robby, you good?"

Robby thickly swallowed before nodding. "Yeah." He then looked towards Emmy.

She got what he was getting at, and nodded. "I got him."

He gave her a grateful look, watching as she slipped away and pushed in through the doors Kenny did.

Emmy walked through the halls, peeking into every open room she could. "Kenny?"

"I'm in here."

She paused by another room, seeing him with a tissue stuffed up his nose. She sighed in sympathy, walking in and took a seat next to him. He didn't say anything, only letting his slouched figure do the talking. "It's okay, Kenny. I mean, it's definitely not fair that you two had to go up against each other but Robby had no other choice."

"I don't wanna talk about it," he grumbled, turning his head away from her.

"Hey," she grabbed his face and forcefully turned it towards her. "You did so good out there. Do you know how many people your age dream of getting to the place you did? Even if you don't think it, you did amazing. This only means that by your next tournament, you'll be even better."

Kenny sighed and she removed her fingers from his face. "That was humiliating."

"I know," she rubbed his back. "But no one's gonna care that you're the kid Robby Keene kicked in the face. All they'll talk about was the fact that you took that kick like a champ. I mean, just a bloody nose? Mine would have shattered in all sorts of places."

Kenny chuckled and Emmy smiled at the sound. "I'll go get some more tissues and asked for an ice pack so it doesn't swell, okay? Wait here."

Emmy stood up from her seat, walking out the door and was about to get into the hallway, but took a few panicked steps back as people rushed past her. "What the fuck?"

She looked over at them, seeing a familiar looking boy in a red gi being wheeling into the infirmary. Her eyes widened. "Miguel?"

And without thinking, she followed after them, her legs rushing her over to the room. Her eyes widened even more as she saw Miguel with a scrunched up face of pain, the nurses trying to tend to him.

"Miss, is there something that you needed?"

She turned to a woman in the room. "Uh, yeah. Can I get some tissues and an ice pack."

"Is it for you?" the woman went over to a small freezer in the corner of the room and pulled out an ice pack before opening a drawer and pulling out a small pack of tissues.

"No, it's for my teammate," Emmy answered, her eyes going back to Miguel. "Are you ⎯ "

She stopped herself, and Miguel looked at her. There was a silent moment where there eyes remained connected. She then felt something cold be placed into her hands and she looked down to see the ice pack in her hand.

"Come back if you need a new one," the nurse told her before exiting the room, probably to go tend to another injured person.

"Got it," Emmy muttered, turning back to Miguel.

Miguel swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away from her.

"Can I ask what happened?" the question left her mouth.

"I was doing my match against Eli and I overestimated what I could do," he solemnly answered, slowly beginning to sit up.

"Oh," Emmy awkwardly looked around before realizing what she was there for. "Oh, I have to go give this to someone."

"Of course!" Miguel quickly nodded. "Kenny?"

"Yeah," she gave a brief smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Bye."

She spun on her heel and immediately took a deep breath as she walked backed towards the locker room Kenny was in. She gave her face a few light taps. "Get it together, Emmy."

As she got closer to the locker room, she could hear a weird sound coming from inside. Emmy furrowed her eyebrows, willing herself to move faster and practically sped walked into the room.

She could see Kenny with his back towards her and she could make out that he was standing in front of someone in a blue jacket. It was when she took a step closer that she realized he wasn't just standing in front of the boy in the blue jacket but was thrusting his fists into his stomach and head.

And her heart almost stopped when she realized that the boy in the blue jacket was her little brother.

"Kenny!" she shouted, dropping the pack of tissues and ice pack onto the ground and ran towards them. Her arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him away from Anthony, the boy falling to the ground in pain.

"Let go of me!" Kenny jumped out of her arms.

"What the hell are you doing?" she exclaimed, turning to a squirming Anthony on the floor.

"I'm getting payback on your punk ass brother. Just like you told me."

"Okay, listen here you little shit. When I said you should get payback I didn't mean beating him to a pulp," she frantically told him. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"That I didn't want to take his shit anymore," Kenny glared down at Anthony. "I thought you'd be happy about this."

"Happy?" she looked at him in disbelief. "What part of me would be happy that you jumped my little brother?"

Kenny scoffed. "Why are you acting like you didn't do anything to anyone who betrayed you? I mean, look at what you did with Hawk ⎯ "

Emmy grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him into the lockers with a loud bang! "Shut the fuck up."

Kenny just smirked up at her. "You've gotten soft, Emmy."

"No, I haven't," she said, letting go of him. "I just don't take people beating on my brother lightly. No matter what he's done. So get out of here. Go cool off."

Kenny just glared at her straightening out his gi. She took a step back from him. "Go."

He shook his head at her, giving one last glare to Anthony before walking out of the room. Emmy sighed, turning to her little brother. "Ant ⎯ "

"No," he cut her off, getting to his feet. "That's what you turned him into?"

"No, Anthony. I didn't ⎯ "

"Don't talk to me. I never wanna see you again!" he ran past her and out the door.

"Anthony!" Emmy called out after him, but there was no use. She rubbed her face in distress, running her hand through her hair.

What the fuck is happening?

AUTHOR'S NOTE !

next chapter 👀