Preparing the machine for the genetic make-up of a human was a difficult as it sounds. In the end, I started skipping work, which would have gotten me fired in the States. But this was the Colonies. I told my boss I had the flu and would be back in a week or two.

"Brilliant, mate!" he replied "That's brilliant, never crossed my mind that you might be skiving. Carry on!"

The MatterCubicle was not intended to create humans. I was truly the Dr. Frankenstein of the 21st Century. In fact, there was something god-like in the air if I breathed deeply enough.

It was time to download the character information from Grand Theft Auto. I had chosen Carl Johnson – a true American, the embodiment of barbeques, pool parties and drive-by shootings. He was also the only non-sociopath in the game who knew how to use weapons.

With the game successfully downloaded and Carl's backstory and character manually extracted from the code and entered in the MatterCubicle's computer, I was ready. Tomorrow was the night I was going back for better or for worse. It was time! Time! I laughed until I choked and had to get a drink of water. I threw the switch. Well, it was the 'enter' button, but whatever.

Carl Johnson.

"Hey, wake up," I whispered. "And, please don't kill me. I'm the only American left on the planet.

The man crouching naked and confused in the cubicle squinted through the plastic window at me. Shoulder muscles bulged in ways I'd only ever seen in magazines, dark eyes narrowed and ribbons of veins snaked into view. He was not amused.

"Say what, bro?" he asked.

I held up a white tank and some blue jeans (called riveted slacks) and said, "I am a big fan and we have to save America. The world is no longer what it should be."

"You gonna explain why the hell I'm buck ass naked in here?"

"Because I created you!" I started laughing again until he grabbed me by the neck and I had to beg for mercy.

"Shit, you crazy!" he said, letting me go. "Save America – what the hell you talking about?"

"The professor I worked for invented a time travelling device and decided he wanted a selfie with George Washington. You know George Washington, right?"

"Man, I don't know whatchoo on, but you need to reduce the dosage." He tsked in pity.

"I can prove it! I can show you. This machine you were in is the MatterCubicle and I should be able to make a couple of guns. Usually it makes organic, living matter, but I fixed it. Wait! Give me few minutes to explain first," I said.

I held up his clothes in a peace offering, thrilled that he took them instead of beating my head in.

"Keep talking."

"Right, so the professor called me up one night and told me to meet him at the Washington Crossing Park, on the New Jersey side. He called and explained that I had to come immediately, because since his wife had died he couldn't do something he had wanted to do with her so he would have to do it with me."

"C'mon, man. Stop. He wanted to do something with his dead wife but was gonna do it with you instead and that didn't make your sorry ass run in the other direction? You think I'm stupid?"

"No, it wasn't like that. This man, the professor was a genius, a prodigy of scientific experimentation. Everyone thought he was insane, but he wasn't. When I got there, he had the TimePlanter ready. The device blooms and grows around the people travelling in its sphere, bending time towards the past. We went back in time to the moment George Washington crossed the Delaware to fight the Hessians."

"Hessians? Shit, you got your history fucked. It was the British, bro," Carl said.

"The Hessians were mercenaries fighting for the British. But we show up in the middle of the night in a huge, glowing ball; Professor Hallard snaps a picture with my phone; the Hessians open fire, the professor gets hit and we leave. Now, brace yourself, here's the bad news. The Hessians killed Washington right after we left and the Britain won the war. There is no America as you and I know it."

"Damn, that's some fucked up shit."

"Yes. I need you to help me. We will go back in time and defeat the Hessians before they kill Washington. I will be right...behind you the whole time."

"Bitch, I ain't your genius professor, but why the hell don't you just go back and tell your stupid ass not to do that dumb shit in the first place?"

I shook my head. I had worked through the situation a thousand times. "Two words: temporal paradox. It's really a bad idea to mess with yourself or anyone else in the past because you can wipe yourself out of existence on accident."

"I got it, it's better to shoot a bunch of fuckers, right?"

"Yes. We are only killing the people who died anyway. History as it's supposed to be gets back on track and everyone is happy that America is the great country it's supposed to be. Right?"

"Fuck yeah! This is America, bitch!"

"That's right! Yeah!"

"Yeah!"