"No, I'm not."

Ten was standing there, frozen in Jaehyun's arms. He was looking into his eyes, hoping he would get an answer or an explanation for what had happened.

"W-What?" questioned Ten. "Then... What was this kiss and-and-"

"All of this 'only boys' school vibe has, if we could say, forced me to distance myself from girls and I missed the feeling of kissing one and being with one. I haven't been with a boy before, so I thought it'd not be much of a difference. It turns out there was only a little bit of difference." answered Jaehyun.

"Yeah, I have a dick too," stated Ten in a sassy tone. "So basically you wanted to use me for your own pleasure."

"No, that's not what I wanted to say," chuckled Jaehyun awkwardly. "I may have started to see the things I like in girls in you such as a petite body, elegant moves, and soft voice. You know, not trying to be gay or anything."

"But still..." Ten was lost at words. "It's still doesn't correct the fact that you were trying to use me. You could have just asked me if I was into that, what if I pushed you away and reported you to the principal for harassment?"

"You could have pushed my hand away when I put it on your thigh but you didn't." Jaehyun let out a mischievous smirk. "And I wouldn't have used you, I would have given you a pleasurable experience on the cafeteria table., but I would have also respected your word if you said no or signalled no."

"So, in conclusion," stated Ten. "You just wanted an experience with a boy to see if it was the same with a girl."

"Basically yeah," replied Jaehyun. "But I'm quite humble so your dick didn't bother me that much."

Ten couldn't reply anything as he blushed so hard he hid his face in Jaehyun's unbuttoned shirt which caused the Korean to chuckle.

"I'm sorry, okay?" apologized Jaehyun as he looked down at Ten. "I didn't know how to approach you and this was the only solution that came into my head."

"I-It's okay," said Ten.

"But," started Jaehyun. "Would you mind if we continued this as just friends with benefits?"

Ten didn't dare to look up. He was surprised at the question, he was raised to be loyal to a future partner and not to be dragged into anything weird like this but, in spite of that, he liked the idea of this. He never had any hookups with other guys and was quite judgemental about it but at that moment, after what had happened, it seemed like his mind has changed. He thought a few of these wouldn't be a problem. He wasn't attached to him emotionally and knew he wouldn't be in the future. Yet he was still hesitant as he was arguing with himself whether this was a good idea or not. He enjoyed the kisses and touches he received but knew it would go farther than that and he didn't know if he could bare that with the painful memory and experience he had in the past. What if he got triggered again or had a panic attack because of it. Lastly, after a few seconds of silence, he made up his mind.

"No, I wouldn't," answered Ten while looking up to his friend.

"But, have you ever been with a boy before? Just asking," said Jaehyun.

"I..."

"Should I lie or tell the truth? Would it bother him? Would it affect his view of me?"

"Not really, to be honest." smiled Ten, trying to convince himself he was doing the right thing.

Days have passed since the cafeteria incident. It took Ten a little while to not feel awkward in Jaehyun's presence but then he got used to it. They never mentioned it in front of friends and didn't plan to. Ten could cover the barely visible hickeys on his neck with makeup that he hid in his suitcase. It seemed like things were going well, if only they have lasted longer.

Ten was walking alone in the hallway with his earphones in his ear. He was listening to the song they were dancing to and he needed to memorize the song and get the choreography together in his head. He wasn't looking where he was going as he was checking his Korean notes for the upcoming test.

"I told you to leave us alone!" yelled someone across the hallway. It was so loud it caused Ten to pause and take out his earphone. He looked up and saw two boys who were one year above him and one guy who he had never seen before but was definitely older than him. Ten was just standing there, not knowing what to do. One guy was defending the other by standing in front of him with wide-open arms as he was facing the unknown person. Despite that, he was protecting his friend, he looked scared.

"I'm older than you, I do whatever I want with you or your little toy." the guy pinned the two younger guys against the wall basically trapping them.

(Trigger warning: harassment)

"Fuck off." nearly spat the defender guy in the taller one's face which caused him to get upset. He pushed the protector strongly away from him then pinned the weaker boy to the wall and started kissing his neck. He couldn't move or escape from the tight grip he was in, all he could do was hope for someone to help them. The injured guy was trying to get up from the floor but he was pushed into a metal heater and he could hardly get up as his head was hurting like hell and was about to faint.

"Please...Stop." let out the younger as he tried to resist with all of his power but he knew it was useless. The stronger male started to go lower and unbutton the shirt that was in front of him with one hand while he was holding the weaker boy's wrists together with the other one. The boy who was trying hard to get up noticed Ten standing and looking shocked. They made eye contact and Ten recognized him.

"Hey!" Ten yelled. "Leave them alone you dumbass!"

Everything seemed to stop at that moment. The masculine guy stopped kissing the weak one's neck and slowly stood up and looked at the direction where the voice came. The other guy still gestured him to run away when he still could but Ten was stubborn and didn't listen. He straightened himself and put his arms to his sides to look tough.

"Well well well," the big guy let go of the small one, who dropped to the floor. "A new snack that I see?"

The tall boy was slowly approaching Ten who pretended to be brave. The closer he walked the more scared and nervous Ten felt. He knew he put himself in trouble but he couldn't just leave the boys. He was holding onto his paper notes as he basically crumpled them. The tall guy was standing in front of Ten and was looking down on him.

"What a pretty boy you are," said the strong one as he wanted to caress Ten's face but he slapped it away. This caused the guy to push him and let Ten loosen his grip on his papers. The study notes fell all over the floor and as Ten was pushed back he slipped on a piece of paper and fell on the floor. He sat up but was slow to react as the older guy pinned him down on the floor. Ten's started to breathe faster as he was scared of what's about to come. He tried to get himself out of this but the guy was a lot stronger than him. He couldn't look away from the one person on top of him.

"A good boy never resists any touch." smirked the guy on top. 

Ten heard someone running towards them and he saw it was his friend who was on the floor a few minutes ago. He tried to push the boy off of Ten but he failed. The masculine guy pushed his attacker into the edge of the corner wall and he looked like he could faint in any second.

"Chanyeol!" yelled Ten but his friend was pressed hard and was trying to stay awake. They then heard another pair of footsteps running away from the scene. The big guy didn't even try to go after him as he seemed to have found another toy.

"It would be such a shame," he said. "To not make you mine right here and right now."

The strong guy started to plant rough kisses on Ten's neck and lick the spots.

"So soft and so pure." said the older.

Ten wanted to escape this hell, avoiding to go any further. He couldn't move his legs and all he could do was to move his head and shout for help.

"Stop-" he didn't want to let out any moans but his body reacted otherwise. "Some-"

The older placed his mouth on his but Ten didn't let him enter as he tried hard to fight back. The older did the same to Ten as he did with his other victim, lock Ten's wrists together above Ten's head and soon Ten could feel his white shirt being untucked and he started to panic. He knew not many people were on that corridor where they were so it felt hopeless to shout. A hand was felt on Ten's belly then it was going up to his chest, touching and feeling his body or rather exploring it, looking for a sweet spot. When the hand was near his collarbone Ten arched his back as he could hardly control his biological reaction to the sensitive touch. 
Thankfully running footsteps were heard along with an upset door opening. Ten's eyes were closed so he didn't know who was coming but he was sure it was two people who were running towards them.

"Gunki-ya!" yelled a familiar voice. "Get off you scum!"

Gunki was pushed off Ten who was trembling on the floor. He was so scared and helpless he didn't know what to do so suddenly.

"Baekhyun, help Ten up." said his senior. Baekhyun helped Ten up and held him tight. It was such a shock for him he didn't know where to put this information. He looked at the spot where he laid just a few seconds ago beneath this guy called Gunki and was almost used in a way he never thought of. Despite the fact that he and Baekhyun have barely known each other, only from secondary classes, he was holding and hugging Ten tightly so he could calm down and feel that he wasn't alone.

"Long time no see," spoke Gunki who was lying on his back, looking up as he spoke. "Taemin."

"What in God's name did you think you were doing?! You know harassment can get you expelled! Didn't you learn from your last mistake?" Taemin was almost shouting. Gunki slowly stood up to face Taemin, they were about the same height. "You are aware that you were the main reason for some boys' transferrence, why don't you just go with your own boys to the bathroom to fuck, huh?"

"Oh c'mon Taemin, people get bored from using the same thing over and over again for a long time," smirked Gunki.

"Only you can exist with that thinking," said Taemin. "Disgusting."

"B-Baekhyun..." the boys heard Chanyeol groaning from the floor. He seemed to come to his senses and as he touched the back of his head he felt something wet. He looked at his hand saw that it was covered in blood, thankfully not so much. Baekhyun couldn't help himself but to go to him with a worried look on his face.

"Chanyeol, are you okay? Are you hurt?" said Baekhyun as he held Chanyeol's hand tight. Chanyeol only responded with a comforting smile on his face and put his hand on Baekyhun's grip and caressed it with his thumb. Baekhyun was on the verge of tears.

"You dare to hurt Chanyeol then try to take someone who's already his? No wonder Baekhyun came running for help to me." Taemin was visibly very upset and didn't try to hide it, he was ready to attack Gunki at any moment.

"I was just borrowing him, y'know, that can happen." chuckled Gunki. Taemin couldn't hold his anger anymore and grabbed Gunki by his collar and lifted him up a bit.

"You wanted to sexually harass not only Baekhyun but a freshman with no consent what so ever. You do remember the first rule here is consent and if that's avoided then it's considered harassment or rape. I think that neither of us wants the principal to know about this or her to know about this, do we?" It looked like as Taemin mentioned "her" he got Gunki off guard since his expression changed in that second. He looked a bit scared or threatened if we could say that.

"You wouldn't-"

"Yes, I would do it if that means you will stop this." furrowed Taemin his eyebrows. "Now you are coming with me, I can't let you go this easily."

Taemin took hold of Gunki's front collar and was dragging him out of the hallway. Gunki took a last glance at Ten and gave him a mischievous smirk. Ten felt like his organs were moving around inside of his body. He knew he had to be careful around here.
After a few seconds of standing still, he hurried to help Chanyeol up and taking him to the nurse's office where they stopped the light bleeding and put a bandage over his head. He was told to rest and the nurse would inform the teachers about his injury.

"The nurse knows when we come in and just say the name 'Gunki' that something awful must have happened. I knew he laid his eyes on me for a while now. Whenever we were eating at the cafeteria he sometimes would stare at me or smirk at me which was a bad sign. I always tried to stay by Chanyeol's side after I told him this and he promised to protect me." told Baekhyun. "Well, not everything is a fairy tale."

"And how long has he been doing this?" asked Ten.

"Since last year when I was a freshman. I only saw him twice doing this to other students and he was suspended for a week. Just like last year, Taemin was the one who told the principal what had happened." said Baekhyun. "How are you feeling? Any better?"

"A bit better actually but I definitely need some time to erase this," said Ten.

"It's going to get better if you need anything I'll be here," said Baekhyun as he put his arm around Ten. This made him feel a bit better, knowing he wasn't alone in this hard situation.

Later they went back and collected Ten's notes as a few of them we a bit ripped but were still readable. Baekhyun offered to help Ten study for his Korean test which he accepted gladly. The two boys got along well as Baekhyun was teaching Ten in an interesting yet funny way.
After about an hour they decided to go study their other subjects so they said goodbye and Ten went to find his classroom where he hoped his friends were. As he arrived there and opened the door he was glad to see Johnny, Taeil, and Doyoung there. The three boys greeted Ten quietly then focused on their work again. Ten conquered a seat then took out his remaining subjects which were Thai, Maths and Social Studies. Later on, the majority of his class entered the room and took their seats.

The silence was ruling over the 14 boys, only the sound of pens pressed against the paper was heard and heavy sighs from time to time. The clock was ticking slowly as if it was a bomb. Ten was trying hard to concentrate on his work but his mind always traveled somewhere else. He couldn't forget those horrible minutes in that abandoned hallway. His grip on his pen became tighter as it stayed still. He couldn't write nor read the homework that was given. His mind was a mess and without hesitation, he stood up and left the classroom. He walked to the restroom and looked into the mirror above the sink. He put his hands on the sink to keep himself from falling to the floor. Tears started to form in his eyes as he gripped his teeth together. He let out quiet cries hoping nobody would hear him. He saw his reflection, his red puffy eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks.
Soon he fell on the hard and cold floor but tried to hang on the sink. It almost felt like that one memory he wanted to forget forever was repeating itself, someone on top of him and in control of everything, not caring about the person beneath them. He felt pain yet emptiness inside him, a burning urge to stop his sobbing.
He put his head onto his palms as he cried into them, hoping something good or magical would happen. He then cried out louder, but tried to quiet it down, and gripped his hair hard to feel something which also caused him to scream. After a few seconds of seeing nothing, he laid his head back on the tile wall and was looking upon the ceiling. Thinking and thinking, the only thing he could do in this situation.

"Why do I have to go through these?"
"Did I deserve this?"
"What if he finds me?"
"Am I even safe here?"

Ten was overthinking too much again which caused him to pick the skin near his nails. He didn't even notice the tiny blood that came out below his flesh, in fact, he didn't even notice how much skin he took off. The flesh was visible next to his nail and a drop of blood on his ring finger. He quickly stood up and tried to wash it off. He looked into the mirror again and saw his messy hair and still puffy and red eyes. After washing his fingers and hands he washed his face with ice-cold water to make the mess disappear.

Suddenly two knocks were heard on the door. Ten picked his head upon it but didn't answer it, he just let the tap run.

"Ten? Are you in there?"

Ten expected it to be Jaehyun but it was someone different.

"Ten?" called his classmate again.

Ten closed the tap and dried his hands in the paper towels. He fixed his messed up hair and cried out face then was ready to step out when that other person already opened the door.

"Ten, is everything fine?"

With no hesitation, Ten walked to Johnny and hugged him tightly. The older wrapped his arms around the younger and let him cry his tears out.

"It's okay, I'm here." Johnny tried to calm Ten down. "Just let it out, it's alright."

Ten was crying again probably harder than he did a few seconds ago. He was sobbing into Johnny's uniform but neither of them minded it. Ten hugged Johnny tighter as he felt him caressing his back and comforting him with words.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Johnny.

Ten didn't know if he wanted to tell Johnny what had happened just an hour or two ago. Just when he remembered it his tears came out again. His breathings were picked up so Johnny tried to calm him down, hoping Ten wouldn't have an anxiety attack or worse.
Soon his breathing was normal and a few teardrops dried on his cheek.

"I don't know if I can talk about it," answered Ten as he finally let Johnny go. The taller one looked at him with a questioning yet worrying look.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine but I'm here for you any time, you can trust me." Johnny gave Ten a generous smile which teared him up a bit but with a smile on his face. "Eeyy, don't cry. How much water is left in your eye?"

Johnny's presence had a calm atmosphere, along with joy. Ten wanted to tell what happened to him but no words came out of his mouth as his thoughts took over his mind with negativity.

(Trigger warning: self-hatred)

"Why did you let him do that to you? You could have pushed him off but you just laid there. What a slut you are. Do you seriously think that he would still accept you? He will just look at you as an object that he can take advantage of.  That's the only thing you are useful for. The past repeated itself. You can't stop that."

Ten really did feel like history had repeated itself. The action that was taken and the feelings that were overwhelming him were so familiar only the context was different. 

"J-Johnny, I..." The negative thoughts conquered his mind. He was fighting against them but it seemed like he was losing the battle. He was pushing his nails into his palms then onto his thumbs to release the anxiety that was slowly building up inside him. He was getting sweaty and stressed a little bit as trying to collect the courage to speak. He started to breathe quicker and was getting paler. He looked like he was about to faint but all he wanted to do was scream his thoughts out and break something.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's fine it's fine. C'mon sit down, do you need some water?" Johnny started to worry and acted quickly as he helped Ten to sit down. "Don't you want to go up to your room to rest?"

"You are weak."

"N-No, I need to study." Ten said as he tried to stand up but Johnny was squatting in front of him and didn't let him go that easily.

"You are useless."

"No, you need to rest, you don't seem like you could concentrate. I will go up with you, okay?" said Johnny.

"You are nothing without them."

"Well, it seems like I have no choice with you." chuckled Ten which also made Johnny giggle. 

After Johnny stood up he helped Ten up and the two boys left the restroom. Ten was mentally unstable to go to the classroom and answer his classmate's questions about him so he asked Johnny if he could get his belongings. Johnny nodded in response and entered the room full of students who were deep in their notebooks. 

"Is Ten alright?" Ten heard Jungwoo asking which caused the other to draw their attention to Johnny.

"He is fine but he needs some rest," answered Johnny as he packed Ten's books and notebooks into his backpack. What surprised Ten was that Johnny not only brought his bag but his own as well.

"Aren't you coming back to study?" asked Ten as Johnny closed the classroom door.

"Maybe I will but I won't leave you until you get some sleep or get better." responded the American. 

Ten couldn't help but feel a bit happy that he had a caring friend like Johnny. They walked out of the school as the teachers let them out when the boys explained the situation with not many details. They told them that Ten wasn't feeling so good and he was unable to concentrate on his studies and Johnny suggested him to rest but he would go along with him in case something would happen. 
They reached the dormitory building and got the key to Ten's room. They walked upon the second floor and entered the Thai boys' room. 

"Sorry for the mess in the room, we didn't expect any guests." Ten stated while he dropped his bag on the floor.

"If this is a mess for you, you should see our room. Compared to this, that's similar to the aftermath of a war," said Johnny as he made himself comfortable.

Ten went to his bed and fell in face forward into the pillow. He was so tired mentally and physically that he could fall asleep with his face buried in his pillow knowing he wouldn't be able to breathe properly.

"You good down there bud?" asked Johnny.

"To be honest, I don't know," said Ten as he turned his head to face Johnny who was standing at the side of his bed. "I just... It's just so hard to have this pressure inside of me that won't let me speak. I want to let it all out but at the same time I have this feeling of judgment that I would get for it."

"Dude, it's okay," sat down Johnny on the floor and rested his head on the bed on hid arms. "The time will come when you are ready to talk about heavy stuff. You don't have to share it, nobody forces you to do so but I'm here anytime if you need someone. I'm a good listener."

Johnny gave Ten a reassuring smile which made Ten feel a bit better about the situation but still wasn't ready to say anything. The words and letters couldn't leave his mouth, his head was a mess of thoughts and didn't know if he wanted to be left alone or not. Even if he wanted to be alone, he wouldn't have the courage to tell Johnny to leave, it would hurt his heart, he thought.
Ten saw Johnny's gaze move to his neck for a quick second then back to Ten's face. He didn't say anything, thinking it was connected to what Ten went through. All he did was just caressing Ten's back with his hand as he started bringing up normal everyday topics.
As time passed Ten slowly fell asleep and it was time for Johnny to leave. He got up from the floor with his backpack and covered Ten with his blanket. He made his way to the door but looked back at Ten one last time. Worry was filling up his mind as he thought of the sight of his neck.

"Be careful Ten. I don't want to see you break," said Johnny as he opened the door and left the sleeping boy alone.