.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[WORD COUNT: 2140!]

'I lied because I don't want you to know how much it hurts me'
— Unknown

WARNING: MAJOR ANGST AHEAD!!

Re-entering the bedroom, a warm heat hit your damp lips as you closed the door behind you, enclosing the dark lighting in the tight space of Peter's bedroom. Looking upwards, you saw the teen was now, too, staring down at his phone, teeth gnawing into his bottom lip as he read to be what looked like a rather long text message.

Your knee dug into the mattress and your hands sunk into the quilt as you gently crawled back over to him, discarding your phone to the side of the bed as your hands wrapped around his waist upon finally getting close enough. Peter tensed under your touch, flinching a little as your nose dove into the warm crook of his neck and he shielded his phone away from you.

"What's wrong?" you asked, worry filling your voice as he swallowed, tapping his fingers against his thigh. You knew from that moment that something had definitely shifted, something was wrong and you knew Peter wasn't just going to hand feed you the answer.

"Nothing, just tired" he lied through his teeth and it's as if you both knew. Your nose left his skin and you pulled off of him, moving yourself to the edge of the bed so you were sitting parallel against him. "Peter, what's going on?"

Peter could feel the space closing in on him as your hand took his in yours, trying to lock your fingers for a sense of warmth but he remained still, tensed more than ever and slowly beginning to sweat. He could feel the worry and not to mention disappointment radiating from your skin as you looked at him, gently cradling his wrist in your palm.

"Peter?"

"It's May" Peter quietly answered upon dismay, taking a deep breath.

"W-what did she say?" you asked nervously, knowing that this couldn't be good if he was low-key having a panic attack.

"She... She knows I'm here, college called her after I missed registration and I'm obviously not at with her, or Ned's, or MJ's, so... Where else would I be?" he answered, completely avoiding your eye.

"Okay... But, I've got a feeling that's not the big issue?" despite Peter being grounded, and you not being allowed near each other, there was something else in Peter's eyes that he wasn't showing you.

Feeling your hand on his made the situation that much worse after what he had been told. He was grounded and he completely forgot, but it wasn't exactly like he had an option of people to run to in a moment of dire need. May should know that, but she was clearly annoyed. After talking to her Peter presumed she would have calmed down; come to understand that you and Peter needed each-other with everything that was happening. But she didn't, she couldn't and Peter didn't know if she ever would.

"She uh,... She doesn't want us to see each other anymore" Peter swallowed, his thumb hiding under his fingers as he clenched his fists. The words hurt in his head but came to bleed after falling from his lips. After everything you had been through together; falling in love over something so tragic and cliche, the book covers were getting closer together and the ink of the pages of your love story were bleeding away down the spine. Peter didn't know how this would end, if it would and if it did how it could come to begin again. Because love doesn't just wash away like dints in the sand caught in the current, right?

"But... You're not gonna leave me... Right?" As selfish as it sounded you couldn't let him. If he left you knew you'd fall from the tightrope you'd been trying to aimlessly to balance on, walking blindly along the thin line as your life crumbled beneath you. But even then Peter was there holding your hand, making sure you were staying on track even when you wanted to fall off. You'd taken this relationship for granted and now at the moment where there was a strong possibility for it to fall apart... Now you woke up?

Peter turned to look at you, his eyes glazing over with glass tears that were too heavy to fall. They just nestled into the crook of his bottom lid, waiting for the other to close down and open the floodgates. His hand finally touched yours, but not to comfort you, instead he was pushing you away, unhooking your fingers from his skin and returning your hand to your side.

"Y/N... Maybe we should just... Take a break, just for a second" Peter could shield his motions to an extent on the inside, but on the outside, his cheeks were flushing and his bottom lip was quivering as he tried so hard to stay calm and collected. It was practically killing him. Although everything seemed to have fallen into place over the past couple of days, reading that text message was like someone had run and knocked over the table, sending that jigsaw piece onto the floor, the pieces scattering and mixing in all the wrong places. Instead of picking them up, Peter just looked at them, coming to realise that some of the pieces he had admittedly forced into place and now the edges were smudged and crumpled. Looking hard enough some of the pieces didn't even match the puzzle box.

"Peter... Peter d-don't do this" your voice came out no louder than a whisper, and the pulsating in Peter's ears almost blocked it out. His throat was clenching harder and harder to the point he feared his jaw might snap with trying to hold back the tears. His body had switched to auto-pilot and now he was watching from the cockpit as his life unfolded in front of him. "Peter, please!"

"Y/N don't make this harder than it already is" finally, a tear slipped down Peter's hot cheek as he bent down to pick up his shirt. All the while you watched from the bed in complete disbelief as the brunette collected his belongings. You would perhaps never know what was going through Peter's head, but it's like something had clicked. Maybe if he stopped this, you wouldn't get hurt, maybe if he cut you off for just a little while your own flesh and blood wouldn't brutally murder you. How was it fair? That Peter was having to tear himself apart just so the world wouldn't do it to the people he loved.

"Peter, listen to me" you jumped up from the bed, taking his hand for the last time as he reached down for his phone. Peter had always been gentle, always put everyone before others and wouldn't hurt a fly. He was softer than silk and his words came out like butter wouldn't melt. So when he shoved you back you could feel your heart smash, like throwing a vase at a brick wall the pieces were sent flying throughout your body and attacking everything they could with their shards.

"I have to go, there's a spare key in the kitchen lock the door after you leave please" Peter murmured, mentally shooting himself in the dick for hurting you. You didn't deserve it.

You weren't giving up that easy though. Before he could reach the bedroom door you hurdled yourself in front of it, hand shielding the handle away from him.

"Give me one good reason as to why I should let you walk out. Okay, she's mad but that doesn't mean we can't figure this out" at this point Peter was trying to block out your voice. It was broken and jagged and there was a growing frown on your face as tears welled in your eyes. And then it clicked. Peter could never be affected by any of your actions, he would love you no less if you pushed him off the side of a building, because inside you were the one who was hurting. You'd bled so much you'd seen the light and Peter knew that he knew and now he was cutting open those old scars to make new ones. He was just another guy put there to break your heart.

"I told you I loved you... and you couldn't even say it back. I'm tired of your games, Y/N, I'm not some... Project or toy for you to work on while your life just sorts itself out. I made a mistake even agreeing to let you help me, because now if I could go back and change my answer I would" Peter was lying through his teeth and usually you were strong enough to work that out. But... Looking down at you from his threatening stance, he could see in your eyes that you were falling apart. You loved him, but you weren't ready to say it because of what was happening now. He was just trying to protect you and he knew you'd never see that... Because love attacks everything into keeping focused on the one thing you feel you can't live without.

"S-so, waiting for me... T-that was just bullshit?" you quivered, throat tightening as the lump grew to force more tears to shed down your cheeks.

"You guessed it" Peter tilted his head slightly, his demeanour so dark and frail, it's like he barely knew you. You'd gone from meaning everything to nothing in a split second in your eyes, but in Peter's you still remained the same as you always had. You were imprinted on his heart until death did come to find him, that was if you got through this bump in the road. He knew you'd realise one day why he was doing what he did, but right now he had to focus on keeping you away long enough to make it believable.

"And you're the toy?"

Ouch.

"Look just get out of my way, you're really getting on my nerves now. I have to go, what part of that don't you understand? You know, coming to think about it, fuck a break - I can't do this anymore. My aunt is worried sick because of you, because of your brother interfering with my life. There are people outside of your bubble Y/N" he spat.

Peter had never seen you flinch in his hands, and watching your body jerk backwards made his soul deflate. He wanted nothing more than to curl you up into a ball and keep you chained in his arms like before.

THIS WAS SO UNFAIR!

Your hand came up to cradle your arm as you tilted your head and began to move out of his way. Peter had said what he needed to, and you couldn't change the way he felt. Peter wanted to take everything back, forget about his life outside of you and just keep you there at his side. Let your laughter be his silver lining, let your smile be his light, let your name be his calling and your body be his temple. But instead, he left, not looking back for he knew he'd break if he saw you.

And there you collapsed into a flood of tears, the crashing of your knees against the carpet matching the slam of the bedroom door as you let out silent sobs before a scream left you lips. You didn't care if Peter heard, you needed to release the scratching demon inside your chest. Your head fell into the side of the bed, knees coming out from underneath you as you sobbed and sobbed, feeling your life fall apart.

'I told you I loved you... and you couldn't even say it back'

' I made a mistake even agreeing to let you help me'

Peter was everything you had left... and now you were alone in the world filled with shadows. You'd risked losing out a relationship with your brother for him, given up your love and dignity for him and there he was, claiming it was some sort of entertainment for you. Could he not see you breaking in half while he stood there, or understand that this was killing you if he heard your screams of pain from not even being touched.

Yes. He could.

He broke more than you ever could as he reached the bottom of the stairs as he heard your cry. He did that to you. He was the one repeating the actions of those who had done this in the past.

How could he have been so selfish? How could he even question it?

If Peter didn't sort this out, he knew he'd lose you for good.

Now... It was a race against the clock. Could Peter make it before the bottom of the hourglass was filled?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I cried writing this...