joshua: welcome to the sebong cooking show. i am joshua hong and i will be your host today because i am the only sensible one here.

joshua: today we have 12 contestants fighting for the privilege of bragging rights.

joshua: and a take-out food on me because they're all broke as fuck and have no food in their fridge.

joshua: today, your challenge, contestants, is to
make a sandwich. whatever sandwich of your choice.

joshua: you can never go wrong with a sandwich.

joshua: ...

joshua: i take that back.

joshua: we'll see how this goes.

joshua: contestants, get ready.

joshua: aaaaand~

joshua: begin!

seungcheol: WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE BREAD *looks through all of his cabinets in a hurry*

jeonghan: *hoards all of the spices out of his spice cabinet*

jun: *is using both hands to push the knife down through his stale ass bread that's been left in his pantry for god knows how long*

soonyoung: *places a slice of bread on his head* look a hat

wonwoo: *seated crisscross on the counter taking his time to read through a cookbook*

jihoon: *tosses a whole BLOCK of cheese onto the bread*

minghao: *already has flour all over his kitchen*

mingyu: *is calmly toasting his bread on the stove- SIKE he screams every time the oil pops*

seokmin: *is already screaming before the toast even pops out of the toaster*

seungkwan: you guys are pussies *uses a flamethrower to toast his bread*

vernon: *places the ham on the plate before the bread* is this how you do it? there are no instructions i just know it's ham and bread

chan: *already has a mound of dough stuck to his ceiling and he's trying to get it off by poking it with the broom but ends up giving up and crying*

joshua: ...

joshua: *sigh*

joshua: i hate you all

jeonghan: *reading a label* isn't allspice a deodorant?

seungcheol: I DON'T HAVE ANY BREAD

soonyoung: *is trying to break the world record of stacking and balancing bread on his head*

jun: *repeatedly hits a loaf of bread against the counter*

jihoon: how much is too much to put in a sandwich?

wonwoo: should i go french or turkish?

mingyu: i'm done, I'M DONE!! *trips over and drops his plate with his sandwich*

mingyu: ...

mingyu: *sniffles*

mingyu: ᶦᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ

minghao: i feel like a fucking magician *claps his hands so flout covers his entire screen*

seokmin: *the toaster sets on fire*

seokmin: oh my gOD NOT AGAIN *runs off screen*

*a wild fire extinguisher flies, crashing into the toaster*

seungkwan: *holds a knife above his head* any last words cheese brick

seungkwan: ...

seungkwan: i thought so *BRINGS THE KNIFE DOWN AND KILLS THE CHEESE D:*

chan: *gets on a chair and pokes the dough with a wooden spoon*

dough: *catch me bitch*

chan: *SCREAMS*

chan: *falls off the chair*

vernon: lord have mercy *squeezes chocolate sauce onto his backwards sandwich*

joshua: you guys are psychopaths

joshua: psychopaths that only have five minutes remaining

wonwoo: FIVE MINUTES?!!

joshua: YEAH DUMBASS IT SHOULDN'T TAKE YOU THAT LONG TO MAKE A SANDWICH

seungcheol: no one said the sandwich had to have bread *carries our boxes upon boxes of crackers*

jeonghan: *tries to flip a slice of bread in the pan with a mound of spices on it*

jun: *finally breaks the loaf using his knee* oh my fucking god..

soonyoung: *holds his plate up with two hands* i made a sandwich!

soonyoung: *raises his plate but forgets he has 201937654 slices of bread on his heads they all fall off* oh no..

wonwoo: according to my calculations if i bake the sandwich at 5100°F it should be baked in a minute..

wonwoo: *turns the oven on*

oven: *TURNS INTO HELL*

wonwoo: HOLY SHIT- *runs away*

jihoon: *stands on his chair to keep stacking random shit in his sandwich he's putting a whole watermelon on it right now*

minghao: oh my god can i snort flour-

minghao: *brings a handful up to his nose*

(HA BICTH YOU THOUGHT-)

minghao: *cute sneeze*

mingyu: IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE *puts the plate down in front of the camera and backs away as far as possible because we all know his clumsy ass would probably knock it over somehow*

seokmin: that's it fire and i spent mix i'm making an ice cream sandwich *drags a huge bucket of ice cream into the kitchen*

seungkwan: double decker sandwich. *slaps another slice of cheese on* thicc as my ass

vernon: *sprinkles some fucking rainbow sprinkles on his monstrosity* bone apple teeth

chan: *somewhere off camera specifically on the kitchen floor* i give up

jeonghan: wait a damn minute

jeonghan: did joshua LEAVE?

seungkwan: joshua did WHAT?!?!

seungkwan: *rushes over to his laptop and counts the screens being shown*

seungkwan: eight, nine, ten.. eleven..

seungkwan: WHERE THE FUCK IS JOSHUA