When my boyfriend, Jeonghan, kissed me, I couldn't resist it. I let him entered my mouth, sharing his warmth by thrusting his tongue in and out. After we pulled by and opened our dreamy eyes, I found myself longing for his lips again and he granted it. We went for almost 10 minutes...No. Maybe 30 minutes of kissing non-stop. Our kiss went deep as time passed and if not for the students who walked near our place, he maybe done something more than what we did.

Somehow... I liked it.

It's very interesting since it wasn't our first but I was nervous as hell. Until now that I am reminiscing each moments, my heart thumps loudly inside my chest. I thought it was only because we did it while we're in bad terms. But soon, I accepted that it was really because of the things he said before he kissed me.

[In this relationship, I am the bad one. When you saw me kissed another woman, you should kill me right away. When I introduced you those girls I used to make you jealous, you should curse me with all your might. And also, if I'll do this after everything I've done, you should push me away.]

He clearly gave me a permission to hate him. But he also...

[But even if you hate me, don't go. Don't leave me.]

With tears in his eyes, he desperately begged me to stay.

When I realized that I have a crush on Minghao, who isn't my man, I felt bad for Jeonghan. And that's why I asked him to break up with me. I really believe that woman isn't allowed to have feelings for multiple guys, while it's okay for men to date different girls at the same time. But do I really need to blame my old culture? Should I always use that excuse? Then if I have, why am I not happy? Why does it feel empty?

"Is it true?! I heard the news about what happened between you, Jeonghan, the rich looking b*tch he brought and the awesome guy you had lunch with," Micah, a friend, exclaimed as soon as I went inside the room and sat down. As if her voice has the power to attract people, tons of eyes diverted to our direction.

Since we did made a spectacle scene yesterday at the canteen, we drew lot of attention which probably the reason why everyone has curios look in their eyes while staring at me.

"You like Minghao so you asked Jeonghan to break up with you but it turned out that the b*tch that Jeonghan brought is Minghao's fiancee. Then Minghao is just flirting with you so Jeonghan got jealous and he didn't allow you to break up with him?!" Joeli flung a question in a bolting speed, she didn't breathe in the middle of talking.

The fact that I like Minghao to Junibelle being his fiancee are the truths. But I guessed people already made different stories so the ending came weird. Minghao wasn't flirting. But for Jeonghan to get jealous, I don't have any idea.

I, who always answer bluntly, shut my mouth in front of my friends. Since I have bad histories of being the center of attraction, I hid my wet palms under the desk.

But I can't blame anyone. Since yesterday's incident is because I failed on hiding my feelings. Again, it was my fault.

"Excuse me, is this the Jaica room?" a man broke the momentum of the heavy silence. Some sighed because he interfered right at the moment I opened my lips.

However, no one complained because of his good looks. He has small face, tanned skin, pointed nose and broad shoulder. Plus, he's manly from head to toe.

"Yes this is Jaica room. So go away. We were talking something important," Micah, who loves beautiful men, shooed him. She's the only one who didn't look back so she didn't saw his face. While Joeli, on the other side, stared at the nameless man as if drools rushing down from her opened mouth.

"Ohhh, okay okay. But class will start so you should go back in your seat," the man commented to Micah.

Keeping her back against him, Micah grunted. "Who are you to order me? I'll sit when I want."

The handsome man gave up with a sigh. He shook his head as he walked towards the front and put his books above the table in the center. He...what?

"Do I need to be welcome like this?" the man announced.

At last, Micah looked back. And when she did, a gasp came loudly even if she firmly covered her mouth.

"Well, I like treating my students as my friends. But don't shoo me away next time." He pouted then brushed his eyes, acting like he's crying. "Professor will be sad."

Loud buzz echoed inside the room. No one expected that he's a professor!

"Oh sh*t," I heard Micah cursed before she quickly sat down on her seat.

"Good morning everyone. I'm the substitute professor in literature for two months. My name is Lee Seokmin. My favorite food is Donjan chicken," he introduced. Everyone held their breath. "And my mother is young chicken," but when he said that, the atmosphere has lightened.

Laughter filled the room. I, who was so anxious a moment ago, laughed along with them; except Micah.

"Just joking, guys," professor Seokmin chuckled as he opened his book.

During his fun class, I forgot my worries for a moment.

Micah and Joeli needs to go to another room for their next class so they told me to contact them as soon as my second lesson finished. I didn't promise I will thought. Then the morning lessons passed by so quickly.

My phone kept vibrating in my pocket while I walked in the hallway, but I didn't bother checking it. I endured those piercing gaze while I walked until I arrived in front of the library.

My feet halted.

'It was there when I first met Minghao.'

"Now, I can't go in."

"Why not?"

I tilted my head towards the familiar voice, which I thought was just a part of my hallucination. But it isn't. It was really from him.

"Because you are afraid that you'll bump with me if you enter the library?" Minghao asked.

I blinked twice, thrice...

My chest rose up and down.

I gulped.

Everything I did sound normal. But today, they felt foreign all of a sudden.

"You're ignoring my calls," he said, staring intently at me. He took a glance on my pocket where I put my phone that kept vibrating until now.

Automatically, I groped it with my hand. But the vibrating didn't stop.

"Is there something wrong with your phone? I can buy you a new one," he offered with a faint smile. "I am your rich friend after all."

Rich friend. I liked the word Rich. But the word friend doesn't please me.

Minghao didn't do anything wrong. He befriend me and I fell by myself. Even if he has fiancee, I don't have the reason to be mad.

But I am mad.

Why am I turning into someone I don't know?

Just like Jeonghan said, I accepted the fact that I am indeed jealous. But do I need to act like this while I am jealous? Mom said she loves my dad. However, she never gets jealous even if dad remarried again and again.

"Are you mad at me?" Minghao asked.

"No," I lied.

"Really?"

"Hmmm. Why should I? There's no reason to get mad."

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"Avoiding you? When?"

"Yesterday's afternoon. Last night. This morning. And now."

I didn't reply; because I don't know what the next thing to say.

"If you are not mad, can we eat lunch together?" he offered.

I must decline. But weirdly...

"Sure," I accepted his offer.

Since we made mummery yesterday at the canteen, we choose to eat at the 24/7 convenience instead. It is located outside the university so students rarely pass by, especially during lunch.

"Please separate the bills. I'll pay for the ramyeon and soda," I said to the cashier.

Minghao quickly reacted, "Huh? Why? I'll pay for everything."

"No," I refused. "I wanted to pay for my meals this time."

"But you said you love a rich friend."

I didn't answer that and instead looked firmly at he cashier again. "How much?"

"I'll pay," Minghao retorted. He picked up his wallet and gave his black card to the cashier. "Charge everything to my card."

But I won't accept defeat that easily. I got bills from my pocket and offered it to the cashier. "For the ramyeon and soda. Take this."

The cashier looked boredly at me and at Minghao. "Dear customers," he said in husky, thin and cute voice. Not only his height is cute, huh. "If you keep messing me like this, the door is open." He pointed the closed door.

How can he treat the customers like this?

"I mean, you can argue who's going to pay outside the store," he added with a creepy smile.

I don't know if it was only me who felt the chills but Minghao and I both raised our white flags by keeping quiet for a moment.

"This Paris Hilton will pay," I said, pushing Minghao's back forward.

"Yeah yeah. I'll pay now," Minghao breathed and handled his card.

Finally we sorted it out and the cashier didn't ask us to leave. Phew~

"Are you satisfied with just a ramyeon?" Minghao asked while eating his packed salad.

"You should ask that to yourself because you're eating nothing but grass," I murmured, slurping ramyeom noodles.

"Grass? Vegetables are good for health." He sounded quiet annoyed.

"Yeah yeah. Suit yourself, Mr. Hilton," I agreed right away in mocking tone.

Minghao just chuckled. When his laughter subsided, droplets of water poured down from the sky. We both looked at the falling rain outside the convenience store as the silence settled. The sound of the rain flow smoothly like a melody of repeated pitter pat.

Pitter pat.

Pitter pat.

Pitter pat.

Pitt...

"I'm sorry."

The melody was interrupted by Minghao's sudden apology. I looked at him... at his sad expression.

"For not telling that I have a fiancee, I'm sorry."

Something squeezed inside my chest. My heart seemed screaming in pain but thankfully, no one will hear it because of the heavy rain.

"Why? Why are you apologizing?" I replied.

"Because I hid it. You're mad that I hid it."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Just looking at you made me sure."

"You wronged me. I'm not mad. Why should I? I have a boyfriend. You have your fiancee. We are friends. So tell me why should I get mad?"

"But I am. We're friends but I am mad."

I stopped for a moment. His eyes, where I reflected, gazed at me in such a gentle way.

"I am so mad when you let your boyfriend does anything he wants. I'm mad that I can't ask you to break up with him because I don't have the rights to do so. I'm mad because... Because..."

"..."

"(Y/n)." Instead of finishing his words, he called my name.

So I answered, "Hmmm?"

"Your boyfriend is right. I approached you even I don't have the plan to stay."

I clenched my fists while keeping my straight face. "You mean, you used being friends as an excuse? That you flirted with me even if you'll marry someone someday?"

Minghao couldn't answer.

Now I know why I was mad. It was because I still wanted us to be together even if we both knew we will separate in the end.

"You were interesting," he confessed.

I kept my mouth close while listening.

"I admit that I was interested at you that's why I approached you. And that I don't have the plan to get serious since I am going to marry Junibelle in the end. However, one morning, I found myself looking for the future that isn't what the other people expect me to have. I already planned what job should I apply in case my father ousted me for unfulfilling his wish. I am not scared to lose material things at all. And the arranged marriage with Junibelle, I thought countless time on how I will break it."

"..."

"So (Y/n), will you please accept my apology?"

"..."

"Because if you don't, then it'll prove me that there's no way I can change my future."

"What future?" At last, I replied.

"A future with you."

The rain subsided.

It faded like how songs ended.

As we were staring at each other, the door of the convenience store opened.

'Kliiiing,' the bells hanged in the door rings.

"Excuse me," a tall customer entered and went straight at the counter. "My name is Mingyu and today is my burstday. So I would like to know if..."

I didn't hear what's the thing he said next because Minghao suddenly pulled me down to hide under the table.

Widening my eyes, I asked, " What are you doi..."

But Minghao covered my mouth.

"Hmmf-"

"Shsssh," he hushed. Minghao peeked outside then pinned his body closer to mine.

My heart, My heart is pounding so hard. I wish it'll rain again so he won't hear it.

"That guy..." Minghao whispered as he looked back at me. "He is my father's secr..." But he stopped when our eyes met. His face is too close, I could feel his warm breath on my cheeks.

I wanted to ask him to get his hand out of my mouth, since it's getting hot. But I couldn't say anything, not when he's looking at me as if he I am the only one in his eyes right now.

So I grabbed his hand, about to pull it down.

"No," he whispered then pressed his palm on my mouth even more.

I stared at him, asking him why he couldn't remove his hand using a frown.

Minghao slowly shook his head. "Don't pull it away. Keep my hand on your mouth," he murmured.

Argh. This is suffocating.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled his hand down. "I can't breathe a..." I complained. But...

I was stopped when he suddenly pecked on my lips.

That's when I realized why he told me not to pull his hand away.

"I told you," he whispered in close gap. Every time he talk, his lips brushed mine. "I warned you not to pull it down." He sharply tilted his head.

He likes stopping my breath, isn't he?

First, covering my mouth with hand. And now, kissing me... deeply.