5 months had passed. I am slowly getting used living with those four guys as their maid. As usual, Vernon and Seungcheol treat me better than Mingyu and Wonwoo who were opposed of this idea. But today, they somehow changed.

I woke up really early to prepare their breakfast. After frying eggs and sausage, I made pancakes and now having a hard time to decide if I'll put honey syrup or Hershey's chocolate syrup.

"Whatch'ya doin?" Seungcheol approached me, shirtless. He was always half-naked like this every morning. I freaked out at first, of course I did. But now it looks as normal as the Sun rises from the East.

"I'm deciding if I'll put honey or chocolate to our pancakes. You guys don't like to eat sweets that much, right?" I answered without looking back.

Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arm, passing through my waist then leaned his hand on the table edge. One wrong move then my back might feel his bare chest. I know Seungcheol's character; he maybe played flirting words with anyone but he never tried to get closer like this! "Vernon, Mingyu and Wonwoo don't like sweet stuffs that much. But for me, you know I love it," he whispered. I don't know if it is because he just woke up that's why his voice is a little husky, or he made it on purpose.

Whatever his deal is, I lifted my head and met his eyes. He is staring at me in a way I couldn't take my eyes off him; on his long eyelashes, on his thick brows and on his red lips. Maybe because this is the first time we close the gap, literally, between us, I briefly feel nervous. My breathing skipped a rhythm.

"W-Why are you looking at me like that?" I stuttered. Of course I am trying to remain calm! My words and my mind just couldn't match!

"I was wondering," he said before biting his lower lip, followed by a tiny grin. His thick brows went up and I can tell where he laid his sight  towards to my eyes down to my lips. "Rather than honey or chocolate, I was wondering if your lips are much sweeter."

Huh?

After making me a weirdo spacing out early in the morning, Seungcheol walked away with a smile.

I think hungriness can make you go crazy.

Next, I do my chores by cleaning the bathroom. I want to wipe the shower head with a rag but it was too high. So I brought a chair in and stepped on it, yet I still couldn't reach it. Damn you height.

"Hey stepping on a chair inside the bathroom... that's dangerous!" The nagging machine is here. I gradually looked at the man who just came in.

"S-Sorry Mingyu," I apologized. "I couldn't reach the shower head. There are dusts above."

He sighed, scratching his head. Then he shoved me, "get down get down!"

This guy. Why is he always in a bad mood whenever he is with me?

He moved the chair then... "Ohhhh! W-Wait!"

He lifted me up! Holding my legs and letting me sit on his shoulder!

"Just finish wiping it! Argh! You're heavy! Do it now!" he complained. So with my trembling hands, I swiftly cleaned the dusts.

"M-Mingyu, I'm done!"  I reported.

Then he put me down. Mingyu is out of breath. Am I really that heavy? I feel a little guilty now.

"Thank you," I said.

He looked at me and responded, "Next time, don't do things that will make me worry. Please. It's bad for my heart." Then he raffled my hair and went out.

What was that?

At the afternoon, I went out to water the garden and saw Wonwoo sitting on the bench and playing guitar. Among them, he is the one I am always conscious with. It because if I made a mistake, Wonwoo said rude things and sometimes it made me cry.

I just shook my head and continue my work without paying attention on him. But a frog suddenly jumped into my feet and I can't help but to hopped up and down while shouting! "Aaaaaaaa!"

"Hey!" Wonwoo shouted.

When I checked why, my eyes widened after seeing him wet from head to toe. I sprayed water on him!

"W-Wonwoo. S-Sorry! There's a frog and..."

"F*ck," he cursed as he stood up. I'm doomed. His march towards me echoed on my ears. What should I do?! "Be careful next time."

Huh?

That's all?

I blinked upon him. He didn't get mad. Plus, his tone was way more gentle that I imagine he would be.

"Wait. You are not mad at me?" I questioned, jaw almost dropping.

"It's an accident. So why should I?" he answered. Eh?! "You are wet too. Quickly change your clothes, or you'll get sick." He said before his hand reach my cheek and he wipes water droplets on it using his thumb. His fingers... are warm.

I dropped the water hose in shocked as I watch him walked inside the house.

They are getting weird!

Why are behaving unexpectedly like this?!

What if... What if I am getting fired?! They are going to kick me out that's why they are being so nice!

I run to that one person I trusted so much among them.

"Vernon!" I screamed after barging inside his room without even knocking. I saw him sitting on his bed while eating cheese curls.

"Oh hey Kidae," he greeted in surprise. "What's wrong?"

I closed the door and composed myself. I took a deep breath before sitting beside him. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he responded with a smile. "What is it?"

My adrenaline floods my system, it pumps and beats like it's trying to escape. With the thoughts of being alone again, I think my heart will explode and my eyes wide with fear.

"Am I... I mean," I stuttered. "Are you guys going to kick me out?"

"Eh?" He frowned. That negative reaction gave me hope, a breathing. "No way. Who said that? Mingyu? Wonwoo?" he laughed.

I got scared for nothing. Hoooooo~

"No they did not. They are just weird and I... Nevermind. Sorry for barging inside your room."

Vernon chuckled, "It's okay. Want to have some cheese curls?" he offered.

Speaking of cheese curls..

"Vernon, I told you many times not to eat junk food on your bed. There are crumbs everywhere. And it is hard to clean," I complained.

"When it comes to nagging, you came 2nd place after Mingyu," he pouted.

"Also look at your finger. There are cheese on your fingers. You might dirty the pillow case and the bedsheets. Hurry and wipe it."

"Right now?"

"Yes right now."

"As in now?"

"Ahuh."

"Will you help me?"

"What help?"

"Wiping it?"

"What are you talking a-"

HE CUT MY WORDS BY PUTTING HIS THUMB INSIDE MY MOUTH AS HE SAID, "Suck it."

Heat flushed through me. I shoved his hand away and looked at him in confusion.

"V-Vernon, that's not a good joke," I murmured, heart beating so fast.

"You are sitting on my bed and we are alone inside my room. Sorry. Would you please go out before I do something I  might regret?"

With that, I dashed out and went inside my room.

EVERYONE, INCLUDING VERNON IS GETTING WEIRD.

My night went long. And when I opened my eyes, it's already morning.
 
Now here's the question: how should I deal with this awkwardness around them?

They don't have a gig today so if I stay here, we will all be together for the whole day.

"Oh? Kidae, where are you going?" Seungcheol asked when he saw me holding a basket. He was drinking a glass of milk, half naked as usual.

After calling me out, Mingyu went out from the bathroom to look at me, with his toothbrush inside his mouth. "Arze yhou going tho the grocery shtore?" he pointed my basket.

"There are still food in the fridge," Wonwoo butted in. He is sitting on the sofa, holding a newspaper.

"We don't have a gig for today. Want me to go with you?" Vernon offered after dashing out from his room.

There are all looking at me, waiting for my answer.

It's true. They've changed.

"No. You need to write lyrics for our new song right Vernon?" Seungcheol complained. "I will go with Kidae. She needs someone who is strong enough to carry everything she'll buy."

Mingyu pulled out his toothbrush. "Huh, are you the only strong one here? Besides, you need to use your head while buying in the supermarket. This won't do, I'll go with Kidae."

"Kidae, let's go. I'll drive you to the grocery store. I am the only one who owns a car here," Wonwoo stood up, staring at me.

"We all know how to drive Wonwoo," Vernon frowned. "We can borrow your car."

"Who said I'll lend it to any of you?" Wonwoo opposed.

"Woah, you are being selfish here dude," Seungcheol chuckled in annoyance.

Mingyu shook his head. "These idiots. Forget about them Kidae. Let's just go." He was about to walk with me but...

"Hey!" Seungcheol held Mingyu's wrist. "You can't go with her, ALONE!"

"If there is someone who mustn't go with her alone, I think it's you Seungcheol," Wonwoo responded.

"I am the safest candidate I guess," Vernon chuckled. "Let's g-" Wonwoo held his wrist too.

"You too," he added.

They are... giving me headache.

"Stop!"  I shouted. Finally, they stopped talking and looked at me. "I can go by myself. Then, bye!"

WHAT.THE.HELL.IS.THAT?!

I arrived at the grocery store. Argh, I am not even starting but I already feel tired.

"What's wrong with them?" I blabbered while walking around the store. But my feet halted. I slowly looked back at the guy running from afar. He is wearing black jacket and white cap. "Isn't that...?"

I dropped my basket. My pace started to follow him, one step, two step, three step turned into fast pace. It is if my world suddenly stopped, it revolves around me and him.

It's him.

I am sure it is him!

The one who brought me light.

The one who thought me love.

The one who broke my heart.

The one who left me.

The reason why I wanted to end my life.

My knees fell down from the ground. In the middle of the crowd, he vanished like a wind. Just like that day.

My eyes drip with tears. My walls, the walls that hold me up and make me strong just... collapsed. Salty drops fall from my chin, drenching my shirt. I am trembling, I can't-can't stop. Even if I clutched my hand on my chest, it shakes, it trembles. As much as I tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from my throat in the form of silent scream.

I made a promise to myself. That by the time I met you again, I won't ever shed a tear. I will smile while saying 'You are not my home anymore.'

But look at me, sitting on the corner where I saw you, and hoping you'll come back. I stayed here until the sun set down. I am an idiot, aren't I?

"He won't come back. Stop being so stupid."

I stood up and with the last strength I have for this day, I went back.

When I went inside the house, the first thing I saw is their worried face.

"Kidae! Why did you come back just now?! We were looking for you all day!" Mingyu shouted.

"We almost call the police," Seungcheol added.

"Where have you been?!" Even Wonwoo who doesn't show much reaction, is shouting.

"Kidae, are you alright?" Vernon asked.

There are people who were waiting for me.

I bowed my head, "Thank you, for waiting," I sobbed. I don't want them to see me cry, but I can't stop my shoulder from moving up and down.

Now there is silence, no one dared to speak a word. They just looked at me.

Afraid that this tears won't stop,  I wiped my eyes and went inside my room. There I took a deep breath. I leaned on the door and just sat on the floor while hugging my knees.

It's been 5 months huh.

"Knock knock," someone's knocking on the door. It's Vernon's voice. "Still up?"

What should I do? I feel so shy after acting like that a moment ago.

"You don't need to open the door Kidae. We can talk even if you don't come out."

I looked at the door, murmuring, "Hmm."

"What happened? Why did you go home just now?"

"I saw someone."

"Hmmm. Who?"

"My fiance."

Vernon didn't respond. But I can still see his shadow beneath my door. He is still standing there, not saying anything.

"Remember the day when you all first met me?" I said, looking at the ceiling. "That was suppose the third day of our honeymoon. I quit from work. I sold my house. I am an orphan who doesn't have a family. For me he is the only one in my life. He was my only home. I loved him more than anyone, more than my life. But on the day of our wedding, he disappeared. He left me. Without words, without trace, nothing...just nothing. That's how I decided to take my life. But you guys came. I thought I will forget everything eventually. But no. When I saw him again, my heart aches so much, as if I am at loss again. Like, I belong to somewhere that I cannot go to."

"What are you saying? You belong here. This is your new home. We are your new home."

Vernon. He said... that... I belong here. I stood up and looked at the door.

"No matter what happen, we won't leave you. So stop crying by yourself, lean on us, lean on me."

"W-Why? Why are treating me like this?"

"Because to us, you are special."

I opened the door, there I saw him standing in front of me.

"You are special, to me Kidae."

"Because I am your friend, right?"

"No. Because you are... my only home."

He held my nape, pulled me closer and kisses my lips.

------------