My husband's father killed my parents.

That night is still vivid to my memories. I was hiding beneath my parent's bed, covering my ears as I hear them screamed in pain.

After years of investigating, the police finally caught the serial psychotic killer who killed 56 people including mom and dad. He was sentenced of death penalty.

Despite of his death, I made a promise that I will never ever forgive that monster until my last breath.

"So it's true? Your husband divorced you," my co-worker said as he put a cup of hot coffee on my desk. He must be comforting me in this way.

I loathed my ex husband,Minghao, after divorced me without explaining things. But when I discovered the truth last night, it is clear that he did it because of guilt. Though we still feel the same for each other, he just couldn't stay by my side.

To forgive is to forget. But how can I forgive a man who didn't do anything that I should forget?

Minghao is innocent. He is not the one who killed mom and dad. But why? Why can't I say that on my own? I couldn't ask him to stay by my side. Why?!

"Thanks for the coffee Mingyu," I said to my co-worker and took a sip on my coffee.

"The news are so shocking. I mean, your husband loves you so much. Everyone in the office knows that," Mingyu interrogated while sitting above my desk.

"How's your wife? I heard she is already pregnant," I changed the topic.

"My wife? Well, she starts asking for weird foods after we found out about her pregnancy. But the hell! I am so excited to be a father!" Mingyu shared, giggling. He is really happy.

"You also loves your wife, so much, right?" I asked.

He crossed his legs and answered, "Of course. She is my happiness. She is my dream. She is my goal. Just... she is my everything."

I feel the same about my husband.

"Mingyu, what if... you suddenly got to know that your wife's father killed your parents. What will you do?"

Mingyu looked at me in the eye. He is at loss for words. Then, tears suddenly fell from his eyes. "H-Hey don't joke about that thing!" He sobbed.

I forgot that he is a cry baby.

"S-Sorry, I didn't mean it."

"But..." he wiped his tears and looked at me again. "If that's the case, I am sure my wife will do her best to stay away from me. She will definitely feel guilty and more hurt than I. However, that would be  the time for me to pull her back. I might get hurt, but her pain will be double, no, triple than I. So, I won't leave her side and hug her until we moved on, together."

"Why? Why would you do that?"

"Because I love her."

That's  it. That's the answer I need.

I stood up and run.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" Mingyu shouted after I suddenly barged out from the office.

The time I spent running, the taxi I hopped in, the change I couldn't get back from the taxi driver, everything went like a fast forward.

All I want is to get there. To see him. To tell him these words I've been holding back.

I thought my lungs will explode as I breathe sharply than ever, standing in front of his house, our house. The door in unlocked but it took me seconds before I got a courage to went it.

My eyes moved around, scanning his trace. Until I saw him lying down on his sofa. A bottle of wine on his hand. He never been like this, drinking in the middle of the day, and get wasted alone.

I feel the pain in my throat as I try not to be so emotional too soon.

Minghao is hurting. Minghao is in pain. My husband is alone fighting this loneliness, this guilt, this love.

I dragged my feet, three steps toward him. But halted when he suddenly opened his eyes to looked at me. "Oh? My wife is here." And he smiled, a sad smile along with his reddened eyes. "You are also an illusion. Right?" He chuckled. "I've been trying my best to forget about you. But this is so unfair. How could you stay in mind 24/7? I made myself drunk, everyday. But whenever I opened my eyes, I saw your face."

That's  it.

My tears fell down, like a river who couldn't stop flowing through the sea.

I walked again and sat on the sofa by his side. Minghao stared at me.

"Don't look at me like that," he said. "You are just an illusion. Don't give me hope; a hope to touch you, to hug you, to kiss you." He bit his lower lip, and soon he cries. "I l-love you. I'm s-sorry," he sobbed.

My hand reached him, his face, touching it and wiping his tears with my thumb. Then he stopped. Maybe this is the time he realized that I am real. I am here. This is not my illusion, but a real me who still loves him.

He held my hand, eyes widened as he sat up. "You..." he started. "It is you. R-Right? I can feel it. Your touch. It feels real."

I took a deep breath, before I nodded my head. "Yes. It's me."

He suddenly shoved my hand and about to escape again. But I held his wrist tightly. "I DON'T CARE!" I shouted. "I don't care at all Minghao. Even if your father was the one who killed my parents, I don't f*cking care. It's true that I couldn't forgive him. But it is true that I cannot stop loving you. I'm sorry for letting you pushed me away. I'm sorry for not being here when you need me the most. I'm sorry. I love you."

He lifted his head and for the first time he really looked into me.

His messy hair. His soggy eyes. His smell reek in alcohol. But in his, I saw beauty. His eyes are
the mirror of my reflection. His broad chest under the thin fabric of his shirt. His warm hands despite of his fake cold behaviour. And his mouth… oh, how I wanted to kiss that mouth. 

"Are you... really... really still going to accept me?" He stuttered with that lips that I wanted to kiss.

As an answer, I kissed him.

Our kiss was a full on, open-mouthed, almost sexual kiss. And I loved it. I loved the way my small body melted into his. The way our lips fit like two puzzle pieces. The way he moaned as he played my hair and held me tighter and tighter.

When we broke away, he looked at me..."I love you," he whispered before brushing his lips into my ear. Down to my sensitive spot, my neck. I closed my lips tightly as I don't want to make any sounds, not so soon. Its been a long time and I suddenly feel shy.

"M-Minghao," I tried to stopped him for a moment. But his hands went inside my polo shirt, fingers tracing my back and in a snap, he unhooked my bra. "W-Wait...ahh!"

Then he pulled my wrist and pushed me down on the sofa. Now he is on my top, hands locking me in between. He bend down, and start nibbling my ear as he whispered,"Thank you. For coming back."

My heart starts beating so fast, suffocating me in a good way.

He kisses my lips again, and I can feel his hands unbuttoning my polo shirt. He pulled back and licked my neck, soft and gentle as I wrapped my arms on his nape, guiding his kiss.

But then... I remembered something...

"M-Minghao, we are not a marriage couple. W-We can't do this," I murmured.

He stopped and looked into my eyes. Then he answered, "Will you marry me? Again?"

Getting a second proposal might not be a bad thing. So  with a smile, I said, "I do."

"Then let's continue this, my wife."