You and Joshua broke up yesterday.

Can you imagine how awkward it is to meet your ex-boyfriend in the next morning?

Your group of friends decided to went for an barbeque party in Joshua's penthouse near the Mt.Baekdu. Because it was planned last week, the group expecting you to come along and have a good time; not knowing about the break up recently.

Of course, you don't want to ruin the atmosphere, and so you decided to keep it a secret until the outing is finished.

Heavy sighs come in and out, as you  grilled the pork bbq at the side.

"I'll be okay. I just need to avoid him. That's all," you mumbled.

Mingyu, your tall, dark and handsome close friend approached you while handling  a plate full of marinated chicken.

"Aren't you tired?" he asked before putting the plate on the side.

You lifted your head to gaze upon his perfect face. "Tired of?"

"You've been grilling for about 3 hours straight, while our other friends are out there; drinking beers and eating those. Tsk! Your feet feel numb, aren't they? Give me the tong. I'll grill the remaining meats instead. Come on," he offered but you declined.

"I'm okay. Don't worry." You avoided his gaze, afraid that this quick witted person noticed your weird behavior today.

He began to narrowed his eyes as he crossed his arms. "This is weird. Supposedly, you and Joshua hyung used to be lovey dovey 24/7. Yah, I think you were avoiding him since the sun rose. What happened?"

Those happy memories with Joshua popped inside your head. They were happy thoughts, yet you feel hurt. There is no turning back; You choose to let go, to give up and to let the pain remain like a stain that will never ever washed off.

Mingyu leaned closer. His thumb caresses your cheeks as if holding a rare treasure. That's how you realized... YOU ARE ALREADY CRYING.

Your eyes met him. His gaze is full of worries, vain and maybe, a jealousy?

To think that Mingyu is standing by your side and giving a comfort , aren't you feel ashamed?

"Don't," you protested. "Don't touch me. Please,"  a kind of beg that made him freeze.

His lips were pursed in line and his heart was about to burst in pain.

"What's wrong with her? It is wrong to comfort her? What's made her cry? And Why did she push me away?" silent thoughts shouting inside his head.

Now there is a silence. The wall stood in between, drawing a line called, "Boundary."

"(y/n)," someone called your name from afar. When the two of you looked back, you saw your other friend, Dino. "Joshua hyung seemed drunk. He was calling your name while throwing everything he saw inside his room. Aish, he also accidentally cut his hand by a broken piece of glass. No one can tame him. I think you need to check him out."

Hearing the news, you put the tong down and dashed inside the pent house. Mingyu followed you on the way to Joshua's room.

But when you are about to enter with him, you stopped Mingyu from following you. " Don't come in. This is my business," you said before turning the door knob.

"Y-Yeah," he responded, taking one step away from the door.

You entered the room and saw Joshua sitting above his bed.

The lights are turned off, and the only thing that brightening the surroundings are the flickering lamp near to his desk.

Broken glass, books and canned beers are loitering at the ground. You can smell the reek of alcohol even from meters away from him.

Thoughts are battling inside your mind; should you approached him? Or talk from afar?

"J-Joshua. Why are you being like this? Our friends are worried," you said.

The drunk ex-boyfriend finally looked at you. His eyes are soggy, maybe it got tired from crying all night.

"This is so unfair. (y/n), you are such a bitch," he complained. He shook his head and chuckles sarcastically.

When he looked at you for another time, you stayed rooted to the spot. His eyes kept steady, resting on your face like he found his home, but just briefly, the sorrow already building.

"I'm sorry Josh," three words, the only three words came out from your trembling lips.

Tears threatening to blurr in his vision. "It hit me hard," he sobbed. "Yesterday, when you broke up with me, I didn't even feel it. Now, after waking up from this nightmare, it hit  me like a hammer breaking my heart apart. I cried. (y/n), for the first time in my life, I cried a  lot. I didn't know this kind of pain do exist. How can you be so cold? What kind of reasons you had for breaking up with me?" he cried.

"I already explained the reasons," you said before dragging your feet to him.

"That's all? You broke up with me just because you were uncomfortable? Because I am rich? because you think that you are out of my league?! Damn!" he shouted and threw the flickering lamp.

Surprised by his acts, your chest tightened, catching your breath inside his wide, yet suffocating room.

"C-Calm down. Please, " you muttered, leaning more closer although you are all freezing. You held his arm, and he grabbed it.

Joshua leaned his head on your hands, whispering the words, "what should I do? What should I do so you will stay in my arms again?" he sobbed.

You know how hurt he was. But it is better not to give him hope when you already choose to let go.

So with a cold tone, you answered, "Don't do anything. It wasn't your fault. There is nothing we could do. Let's break up. And treat me like a bitch for the rest of your life."

Joshua lifted his head up to gaze upon your face. He bit his lower lip, as his hand slowly tightened its grip.

"I think, it will better if I didn't attend this outing.  I should go," you said, waiting for him to loosened his hand.

HOwever, at the moment you were about to go, he pulled you downn. He pinned you on his bed, now he is on your top.

"Joshua! Why are you--" you stopped when you saw the sudden change of  his expression. His eyes turned dark, as if he is ready to smashed you or to hit you. 

"YOU HAVE ANOTHER REASON!" he yelled  before he punched the pillow near your head.

"J-Joshua," you called out, trembling.

His eyes went on your eyes, down to your lips. Now, his expression shifted as if he want to eat you in a whole.  "Tell me the main reason, with those lips," he whispered with a smirk. Then he leaned closer and kisses your lips in force.

You kept on pushing his chest away, but he pinned your hand above  your head!

"Josh--- no--- stop---" you protested.

But Joshua even deepened the kiss, biting every corner of your lips.

"Please, stop!" you begged.

Joshua put his legs on your side, making sure you won't bulge any longer. "TELL ME THE MAIN REASON," he muttered when he pulled back.

You tilted your ehad to avoid his another kisses, yet he leaned to kiss your neck instead. His lips brushed on your skin, as if he was desperate for the sensation.

Tears fell down from your eyes. You feel the sensation, but your heart crying in pain.

Why did you let a gentle guy like him turned into this?

It was your fault.

It really was.

At the very beginning, it was because of the greed you seed in your heart.

The door opened. ~booghs!~

Joshua stopped. You are both panting as you saw Mingyu standing at the door.

"Stop it Joshua hyung! She said she doesn't want it!" Mingyu shouted, clenching his fists.

Joshua chuckled before looking back at your eyes. Then he mouthed: "You like Mingyu. "

Your eyes widened, surprised that the biggest secret is finally revealed in front of your eyes.

Joshua mouthed again, leaning more closer, "The reason you broke up with me, is because you fell in love with your own friend. Do you want me to tell it to him?"

You bit your lip, shaking your head as an answer.

"JOshua hyung, please stop, " Mingyu begged.

JOshua answered, "Don't interfere. Who are you to meddle in our relationship? "

You clenched your fists, enduring  how hurt it is to let Mingyu see you in this state.

Joshua lifted your chin, then he whispered, "If you don't want him to know, then close your eyes. And kissed back."

He leaned again, AND KISSED YOU IN FRONT OF THE MAN YOU HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE.

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